Submitted by MinimumMonitor7 t3_10eyfve in news
[deleted] t1_j4tvm5v wrote
Reply to comment by TheManInTheShack in Polar Bear Enters Remote Alaska Village, Fatally Mauls Woman, Boy by MinimumMonitor7
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extropia t1_j4uhf7z wrote
Lol "It'd be close" with a dolphin?! Are they picturing fighting them on land? There's no way a human could even come close to defeating them in water.
The_Legend_of_Xeno t1_j4v3bcd wrote
Let me get a thumb in that blowhole and let's see what's up.
dwilkes827 t1_j4wcmfw wrote
Thumb isn't girthy enough to plug it, is there another option?
TheGildedDildoArises t1_j4wd80o wrote
I can think of something ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
The_Legend_of_Xeno t1_j4wg7g7 wrote
They don't call it a blowhole for nothing.
[deleted] t1_j4wji47 wrote
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CryptidGrimnoir t1_j4umw32 wrote
I think people would consider a dolphin attacking them close to shore--and for better or worse, dolphins don't really have an aggressive reputation among the public.
I don't know of anyone who is afraid of a dolphin--not even someone who is afraid of an orca--but people are afraid of sharks.
fellowcrft t1_j4unayv wrote
I have swam and dived with pods of dolphins. Many times . I am weary as fuck of dolphins. Sure... Awesome sentient beings... Friendly, playful and inquisitive yet at the end of the day they are fucking Apex Predators. I have seen three dolphins kill a 4 meter tiger shark before...
Portalrules123 t1_j4wj6gu wrote
Dolphins are the humans of the sea.
Meaning you SHOULD be at least mildly nervous at all times around them, I would say. I think some dolphins have been shown to kill just for fun too, another human analogy there.
MattyEC t1_j4wua7a wrote
I feel like Orcas should get that nod. Slicing out shark livers and dumping the rest of the body, passing on cultural memes to learn how to hunt their surrounding wild life... freaky smart and right up there with dolphins.
Portalrules123 t1_j4xpewb wrote
Orcas ARE dolphins, no? Or at least in the dolphin family?
fellowcrft t1_j51aekx wrote
They belong to the oceanic dolphin family..
[deleted] t1_j54jpit wrote
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fellowcrft t1_j51a7yg wrote
%100 agree with you
[deleted] t1_j54jggz wrote
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nerdtypething t1_j4uurfa wrote
well i know dolphins can bludgeon sharks to death so that seems plenty aggressive to me.
[deleted] t1_j4w8wpb wrote
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RescuesStrayKittens t1_j4x6pcl wrote
Also “it’d be close, but I’d win” with a viper?! Sorry pal, it wouldn’t be close, and you wouldn’t win.
Trazenthebloodraven t1_j4uttsx wrote
God that list is so wrong it hurts. They think they can beat swans or peacocks. Or that they have a 50 50 against goats. Lol fucking city dwellers that never seen what an angry goat can do. But the biggest joke is zebra, they can one tap lions and whoever made this list thinks they have a chance.
dan_v_ploeg t1_j4uw4lv wrote
While we're on the discussion, I'm a very physically fit blue collar worker, and I'm am one hundred percent confident in my ability to kill a swan with my bare hands. I think I could also beat a goat in 6-8 fights out of 10.
Trazenthebloodraven t1_j4ux2jl wrote
A goat can break most of bones in your body with a single head but. If it hits your skull your out dead. It's horns are sharp if it's a bigger bread they might weigh more than you and they hoofs are very sharp. They got mad jumps as well and they have more crack head engery than most of Frankfurt and the stamina to boot.
Swans are more harmless they can't hurt you to bad, but they are aggressiv and have 0 respect for anything. They are what geese think they are.
Sure they won't kill you but the average person is probably gona panic when upwards of 10 kg of agnry feathers are in your face. In a death cage match sure I give it you in their naturalhabit where it's more likely the swan takes it low to medium diff.
Peacocks may look harmless but they got every sharp murder claws the reason you see them in zoos they are fairly gentle creatures and their claws get trimed.
Another 50 50 you would lose 100%or the time is cows I hope I don't need to elaborate.
Fucking city people./s
Wrecker013 t1_j4v0757 wrote
You are severely underestimating human ability in fighting for their life lol, zebras and cows and other large animals sure but doubting human victory against a swan or a peacock or a goat? Got another thing coming lol
Trazenthebloodraven t1_j4v20ao wrote
In the post you are replying to I said the cage death match the human is winning. In the wild in an AVRAGE natural encounter against the AVRAGE PERSON the animal takes it. If you seen how they can mess someone up or have ever been attacked by a swan you would agree.
Animal are very dangerous even most of the fluffy ones. We didn't genocide them in 1v1s but with weapons big pointy sticks and their was a lot of us like way way way more.
WalkerBRiley t1_j50ogt4 wrote
I'm wondering just how small you guys' dicks are that you have to brag about how well you'd kill a fucking swan to make up for it.
[deleted] t1_j50q47o wrote
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dan_v_ploeg t1_j4uxhw8 wrote
Never fucked around with a peacock which is why I didn't say anything about them in my first comment. I've also worked with plenty of farm animals and I have no doubt a cow would stomp my shit in. But I still stand by my ability to kill a goat, I've delt with them plenty before and if you're smart they're not too big of a problem.
The average fat ass American would likely have a problem taking on a goat though.
Trazenthebloodraven t1_j4uxuyc wrote
And I have seen plenty of people be very hurt and kids hospilitased by goats which is why I know the AVRAGE person will go down. If you know how to deal with an animal are somewhat fit and have solid clothes sure, then you can deal with alot more animals Ina fight but then you aren't the average person in an average situation.
dan_v_ploeg t1_j4uy4j7 wrote
Yes, as I stated in my first comment I am not a child.
[deleted] t1_j4vbd0a wrote
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[deleted] t1_j5bpxrb wrote
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xNotWorkingATMx t1_j4vktln wrote
I have fought off a swan that attacked me, i didn't want to kill it so i ran away. If it would have been a fight to death i easily would have killed it.
You've played too much d&d and have lost touch with reality if you think a swan kills the average human.
Also not saying everyone can do this but there are people that were facing death and have killed sharks, bears and various big cats.
Adrenaline rush is crazy.
MPUtf8Nzvh6kzhKq t1_j4xyqud wrote
>Also not saying everyone can do this but there are people that were facing death and have killed sharks, bears and various big cats.
It's more, I would say, laughing at the absurdity of the confidence and certainty. Sure, people have had exceptional outcomes in life or death situations (though with the sorts of ones you mention, they are more often matters of dissuading the attacker from continuing, especially since sharks and big cats often don't want to get into protracted fights).
But a cow of the sort shown in that list is probably going to weigh around 600 kg, and bulls, when angry, are extremely dangerous; probably more dangerous than a horse. Even with horses, control of a horse as an individual is based, ultimately, on it deciding to do what you ask it to do; they tend to be most dangerous, and can easily accidentally kill someone, when they are panicking. Meanwhile, seals can be much heavier and more agile than they seem when seen out of water. These are not "50/50 chance" situations. And with sheep in some "I'd have no problem" category: a friend of mine who works with animals points out with annoyance that people unaccustomed to livestock often joke to her with confidence and bluster about what they'd do if a ram tried to attack them: she points out that, no, if a fully grown ram wants to fight them, that would probably go very differently than they expect.
If anything, the list is both hilarious and annoying in how it seems to be entirely built around stereotypical perceptions of animals as 'cute', 'violent', 'giant', 'tiny', and so on, without it necessarily making much sense. Trying to fight a cow or a zebra is probably going to be much more dangerous than trying to fight a cheetah, the reverse of what the list suggests people think, because cheetahs are comparatively small, skittish ambush predators that are going to run away from a fight. There's often just a complete misunderstanding of the weight and strength of seemingly cute domestic animals. And while it's presumably there to be completely ridiculous, you're not going to lose a fight with a large baleen whale, because a large baleen whale is not going to get into a fight with you.
But in general, there's a weird obsession of people about how they could beat up animals.
NikeSwish t1_j4vctin wrote
Swans or peacocks? I would put those things as soon as they got close to me
[deleted] t1_j4w88yj wrote
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DragoonDM t1_j4wf8h6 wrote
The absence of hippos in the most dangerous tier makes me doubt the veracity of this list. Also seems like cows and zebras are being underestimated, and cheetahs are probably being overestimated.
Source: wild guesswork and armchair zoology.
iTwango t1_j4u4p3f wrote
I must be missing something cus I don't see bears there lol
RivinX t1_j4u5zjp wrote
Look in the too scared to fight category
[deleted] t1_j4w7dtf wrote
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HoratioMG t1_j4udmzp wrote
Lol why do people always underestimate swans?
Same category as a cat and a parrot...
ActualMis t1_j4uqazx wrote
Swans aren't very dangerous. The whole "a swan can break a man's arm" thing is a total myth.
>You may be left with someone bruising if you’re the target of their feathered frenzy, but since swan bones are much thinner than that of a human (and hollow) they would be hard-pressed to do any lasting damage. Some bird experts suggest that it’s more likely a swan would hurt itself if its attack was so intense.
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