Submitted by jdward01 t3_10njna3 in nottheonion
Comments
HungryLikeTheWolf99 t1_j694rxr wrote
They don't say the size of these cans, although remember there are more reasonably-sized cans than your standard soup can.
People don't understand that there are lots of drugs in prison - all the drugs, generally speaking - and that virtually all of them get moved around in someone's rectum at some point.
spaycedinvader t1_j6965er wrote
So he literally has drugs coming out his ass?
InternetPeon t1_j69akim wrote
So are we talking a Campbell’s soup can? Diet Coke can?
tnfrs t1_j69b0hb wrote
irl frank gallagher
zacurtis3 t1_j69dm1v wrote
Baked beans
Nuker-79 t1_j69g9j1 wrote
We talking 5L paint cans here aren’t we?
WhyAreSurgeonsAllMDs t1_j69j89n wrote
The fact that we can’t keep drugs out of prisons should convince everyone that drug prohibition is doomed to failure.
flyover_liberal t1_j69k0x8 wrote
Pretty convenient since he was already at the jail
curkri t1_j69lz9b wrote
The 2nd can was just greedy!
GreasyWerker118 t1_j69qnuv wrote
bummer
Darrone t1_j69rnxq wrote
Yea, I'm really hoping it's a red bull can and not those 28 ounce tomato cans.
Darrone t1_j69rxms wrote
So, my understanding of the rectum is that it can't shit out solid objects (hence all the ER visits for people that totally accidentally sat down on things). Using a can seems like a bad idea. A Ziploc bag wrapped in a condom seems like a better choice.
JacksonIVXX t1_j69sc9d wrote
Full size pringles cans
Gordon_Explosion t1_j69tbor wrote
So, two cans inside a third can.
bstowers t1_j69wk7s wrote
Two cans? Those are rookie numbers!
Inconceivable-2020 t1_j69zvg5 wrote
Not bringing enough for everyone is a crime.
janzeera t1_j6a5ei0 wrote
Damn…
ShadowEllipse t1_j6a6s9l wrote
Hey man, could you crack one open?
a__unique__username t1_j6a9jmj wrote
“I taught myself how to kiester”
Ttthhasdf t1_j6adkey wrote
Rectum? Damn near killed um
6moinaleakyboat t1_j6aezni wrote
Wrecked ‘em
Ttthhasdf t1_j6afb2q wrote
Damn near killed um
nicgom t1_j6aisna wrote
He probably just had his prison baby and got them easy inside.
hbgwine t1_j6anvbz wrote
Stole my line.
Paddlesons t1_j6aqr05 wrote
So the can can be in you while you're in the can.
cactusluv t1_j6assq1 wrote
Apparently not....he got caught. E for effort though.
Meanderingversion t1_j6b86mv wrote
Arrested inside the jail.....
MedievaLime t1_j6bhfhj wrote
Double arrested
leraspberrie t1_j6bhm8j wrote
So let's legalize heroin? What an idiotic statement and the ten upvoters are morons too. We can't stop bestiality, let's legalize it. Oh ... wait ... you don't want to fuck a horse as much as you want to snort cocaine.
Inasis t1_j6bjfr6 wrote
Maybe he'll want to fuck a horse after he snorts cocaine.
jimjamjones123 t1_j6bkyxq wrote
False equivocations are false bro. You really think if they legalize heroin swarms of people of who have never tried it, or had an interest in trying it are suddenly gonna start banging horse?
[deleted] t1_j6bm4kb wrote
If he doesn’t, I will snort the cocaine
[deleted] t1_j6bmehc wrote
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jflatt2 t1_j6bmwsi wrote
They were Pringles cans
Vegan_Harvest t1_j6bpuzi wrote
You're assuming they don't want anyone doing drugs when really the system would fall apart if people actually did. It's more an excuse to punish and profit off of people.
LiverOfStyx t1_j6cmqlc wrote
This is very common mistake, it is spelled Volkswagen, VW. Maybe next time you remember this and also that:
THE WORLD IS NOT USA!
Don't use state abbreviations without fucking telling us from what fucking country you are talking about.
tuco2002 t1_j694l4a wrote
He must have some deep prison pockets.