I’m sorry you experienced all of these events. It sounds scary to say the least.

I’m on higher alert depending on the time of day and neighborhood. I try to mind my business while being aware of everything happening within earshot. It’s tough.

Have you sought out therapy?

I'm so sorry for all of your experiences, this sounds terrifying :(

What kind of dog do you have? It's odd to me that people keep targeting your dog, hopefully puppy will still be well-socialized!

I'm from the Bronx and lived there for most of my life and feel the same way. I wish you all the best. I do my best to protect myself on the subway and when walking. I see some neighborhood community Facebook groups have walking groups check if they have one near you.

I had a number of incidents fairly recently including a homeless guy trying to push me into traffic. :(

Some homeless schizo slammed his shoulder into mine while I was walking my 10lb dog. Hurt for some time.

One threw a glass bottle, another timr one came at me from the side amd put his finger literally a half inch from my eye.

All within 3 or 4 months..

I have to look behind me every half a block and still don't feel safe.

Sorry all that happened to you, it sounds fucking awful amd scary. I plan on taking a slef defense class, no match against a knife but...

I hate that this is going on. I feel angry and frustrated.

Thank you. I have a 6 pound Italian Greyhound who always wears clothes (she barely has fur and gets very cold). No matter where we go, we get comments and questions. I get so scared that someone will randomly kick her while walking ever since the two comments about kicking her this summer. I often pick her up while walking past shady people but then fear that someone will attack me and I’ll drop her and she will be hurt or get off the leash.

Man, that's so odd to me! Those are very dainty and dignified dogs, I'm sorry for her that she's getting targeted too.

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I am SO sorry that happened to you. That must have been so terrifying. I agree about being frustrated - I also feel helpless for the first time in my life.

Literally saw someone push a rider into the train tracks last week at Union Square. A day later someone pepper sprayed another rider. The crazies are out in full swing...

I feel you, I am struggling with same issues. Recently my job is having us go in office twice a week. The first day I got on the train in the morning a guy got in and started going up and down the cart kicking chairs and being violent. I got off at the first stop and waited for the next train on an empty platform. I was terrified on the train and on the platform. I try different combinations of trains every time I have to go in and when the day rolls in I build severe anxiety. Therapy might help as someone suggested, but as I work in the field is not helping me very much. It’s not helping because as I try to tell myself the fear is unjustified and it’s in my head encounters keep happening proving that the threat is real and I can’t calm myself down . I’m sorry you are going through this and from someone that is experiencing the same thing as you, I feel you. I’m looking into getting a driving license and driving myself to work but that’s the only thing I can come up with.

I’m 5’ ish and don’t go anywhere along anymore husbands Is always in tow and almost never take the train anymore. It’s very not safe feeling imo

I think her clothes get a lot of attention, but unfortunately it’s getting cold and she will have to wear jackets when we go outside. I try to have her wear only solid color clothes when we’re out, rather than flashier clothes, because i’m worried someone will have a problem with it.

I love Hell’s Kitchen. I spent a week there earlier this year and was ready to move there. Hopefully you hit all the bad luck for many more decades of enjoyment .

It's Hell Kitchen that is the issue. The entire section between Penn Station and Times Squares has gotten way worse since the pandemic - and it wasn't great to begin with. Especially 7th-9th Ave.

FitHit on 27th street does frequent free (women's) self defense seminars (usually on Sundays at 12). I've taken their classes before and it makes me feel more capable of defending myself if I needed to.

I luckily only take the train once a week to and from battery park. After the incidents this summer I started citi biking there and back, but now that it’s cold I will have to take the train again.

It sucks to be so scared of even taking the train.. I went to hs in Jamaica, Queens and took the E/F trains 1.5 hours each way every day. I was never scared until this year.

This is so good to know. Thank you.

I am so sorry for the trauma you've endured. I don't think those not living here can really get how ever present these incidents for lack of a better term, are in our lives

I hope you go! I just checked their schedule and they're doing on every sunday at noon for as long as I clicked through.

This is true but I live closer to 11th avenue on a pretty lively/safe block. Generally I feel like anything west of 10th is safer because it’s further from the hubs.

Really, really sorry this all happened to you! As a native NYer, I agree it’s terrible how much shit has gone downhill over the past couple of years. I especially feel for my female relatives/friends who all have similar stories. Thank you for sharing your lived experience, because you’ll have tons of people on this sub claiming you’re a “fear mongerer” or “right wing” for bringing light to this.

That’s so scary… I’ve been extra cautious taking the train after asian people were being targeted and killed in 2020. I only take the train to and from battery park once a week and am super vigilant.

I have not lived but spend hours hanging out at Hell's Kitchen including late hours.

It gets sketch, like folks pulling their d*ck out and peeing on the sidewalk but nothing violent.

this was 2019 though. and from all I gather, shit's gone a little sideways since 2020

So sorry a mother fucker said that to you guys

I find having to walk to the subway from 10th and 11th is the issue. By the time you get to the 1/2/3 or A/C/E, you've walked through a madhouse.

HK post pandemic is a different animal for sure.

Thank you. I hadn’t thought about seeing someone until this afternoon actually. That’s why I posted - I wanted to see if I was potentially blowing things our of proportion or if others have been feeling the same way.

Agree with you so much about feeling helpless too. Born and raised here as well, this is my first personal experience of all this happening. I hate this with every fiber of my being. And not much I can do about it. That ems worker had no chance, he came out of nowhere. I hate this. I feel scared every time I go down into the subway. Amd the street is becoming not much better.

The day I moved in, I saw the homeless man mentioned above (who basically lives on the corner) violently start punching a car window at a red light because the driver wouldn’t give him money. The next day, I saw a naked man pooping on the side walk a block downtown from my apartment - I saw him again this past May skipping down the street naked in a rainstorm. Those things didn’t freak me out though. I feel like i’ve started hearing about violent crimes far more often starting in June.

I keep hearing of stories too but nothing has happened to me. Make sure to get one of those spikey self defense key chains - carry it with you. My daughter said someone followed her once and then got the key chain. And I can of mace I guess too. Good luck! Love pups.

So sorry you feel this way. No way to live honestly..my brother worked in Hells Kitchen for the past 3 years. Says pre-covid, it was fine and fun. Post-covid, he was dodging drug users and belligerent homeless people (which I say that with empathy) and ultimately, his company moved offices to Brooklyn.

Your pup sounds adorable but I almost wish your pup was 60 pounds and had a good bark on em. Idk, sometimes a good bark is enough to deter someone.

Again, so sorry you’re feeling this way. I live out in Suffolk so this doesn’t particularly resonate with my lifestyle anymore. But I used to commute (had low level anxiety on subways, walking, etc.) but I can’t imagine how it feels in todays city.

This!!! The EMS worker story scared the shit out of me because there was absolutely no motive. The thing that freaks me out the most is that a lot of these attacks seem to be random.

I’ll look into this! I have pepper spray on my keychain and always have it in my palm when walking. However, I misplaced it 5 days ago and am having trouble buying a new one.

Am I allowed to say why this is happening without getting downvoted? I’m incredibly sorry this is happening to you, but some of us saw the writing on the wall over a decade ago. And got out while we could. Meanwhile I have to worry about my mother every day as she is still in Manhattan.

When the people in power subscribe to the “Saul Alinsky school of hard knocks”, amongst other things, the outcome doesn’t tend to favor those that don’t want to be painted as victims for the rest of their lives. You can attribute 99% of the problems in the world today to a couple things. 1. We forgot the meaning of the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” 2. Lack of gratitude.

I hope everything works out for you and those of you still in New York dealing with this nonsense. And I hope you guys start holding a lot of hypocrites with power accountable for their lack of gratitude, amongst other things. Peace

The squeegee men are back for sure. They’re in East Harlem off the FDR also, almost every day, and scream at you/hit your car if you don’t give them cash.

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Start carrying pepper spray on your dog leash. Gotta protect the puppy.

I didn’t spend much time in HK growing up, but had one friend who lived here and he never complained. I work 5 blocks away and walk to work and can’t find a route that lowers my anxiety. I know the city gave homeless people rooms in hotels in the neighborhood during the pandemic, but i’ve never had a problem at all until recently.

Hell’s Kitchen has been pretty bad since Covid

He’s actually just a guy that approaches cars at the red light when they’re about to turn to go to the tunnel. He doesn’t offer any services or anything. After I saw him hit the car, I asked my super about him - he said the guy has been here for 20 years and my super has never heard of him attacking or hurting anyone.

I have pepper spray on my keys which I carry in my palm to be ready in case anything happens. I unfortunately misplaced it this week and can’t find a replacement

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I'm a 4 foot tall man with dwarfism. If I move to NYC this year am I going to die? 😅

What you’re saying echoes what a lot of people have been feeling. Glad that at least the issue is getting a lot of attention now.

There’s a lot of debate around the long term solution, whether that’s a more effective police force or more services for the mentally ill (or both).

Short term, I only see two solutions. Either move to a safer area, or be fully capable of defending yourself.

Regarding the former, if you can afford to move back, I can confirm Battery Park is still safe and quiet.

For the latter, this is always a controversial take on /r/nyc, but the only way to effectively defend yourself is to get a concealed carry permit and become proficient with a firearm.

You could think about getting a larger dog as well.

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Damn that’s a string of misfortunate events, I’m sorry. And DAMN, so sorry for the pup! So much animosity directed towards a pup!? Why?

Anyway get pepper spray, learn some basic self defense, and try to practice relaxing and meditating. Don’t ever let fear control you. Rather, let your instincts inform you.

Things will get better. Also don’t hesitate to call the cops on them. I’m no cop caller, but these situations warrant attention and remediation. These people should not be allowed to get away with this without any type of legal repercussions.

I was caught in the station during that pepper spraying on Friday, it was terrifying. No one on the uptown R platform knew what was happening but out of nowhere were choking/gasping for breath all a the same time. I thought it was a terrorist attack.

i’m sorry for what you’ve been through! i lived in several neighborhoods and worked in hell’s kitchen for a while. it’s rough right now and probably won’t get better for a while until some major changes happen..if i were you i would try to move to uws between 70-89th st. as a woman i have never had issues there (thus far). and if you can help it..i would avoid riding the train for a while. i walk or bike most places and on a rare occasion take a cab. and bonus! you get two amazing parks to walk your dog

I was born here and lived here all my life too and feel the same way. I feel so anxious whenever I ride the train and am walking alone outside. Before, I’d feel this way maaaybe when I was out late going home alone. Now it’s even in broad daylight.

Yeah, I wanted to chime in about either seeing someone or at least taking stock of your current mental / psychological state. When I was around your age I was overextending myself at work and on the weekends and began experiencing acute anxiety or panic attacks as a result.

Our situations are different, but the reason I am bringing it up is that with anxiety / panic type reactions, once you have a significant event, you can be more prone to experiencing them again in a short amount of time. It's almost like fatigue from anxiety triggering more anxiety. Anyways, be good to yourself, get more rest, drink water all the usual stuff, but keep an eye on yourself objectively and you might pick up on triggers ("fuck I'm freaking out, wait I'm also on 2 hours of sleep" etc.).

I know that feeling and it's a gross feeling of creeping dread and I hope you never have to feel that way again!!

Thank you. I work in biglaw and work long hours, but it’s the same amount of work/stress as I experienced in college and I was never anxious because of it. I will definitely look into seeing a therapist, but i’m a little skeptical about what they would be able to do/say to make me feel better, especially as I can’t avoid walking/leaving my house.

Thank you. I would move but just resigned my lease right around when the above incidents happened. I really do love my building and apartment, and with all of my puppy’s expenses (daycare, training, etc.) it would be really hard to afford something in this market right now. I seldom take the train and often citi bike around!

This is so true. Other than all the craziness going on recently, the one true downside of living here is how far away the trains are. However, if there was a train line going up 12th or 11th, there would be far more incidents, too. Ugh.

CCW is a 2-3 year wait list in NYC.

Only criminals and untrained cops are allowed to carry in NYC.

I don't want to downplay anyone else's personal experiences but I have not seen any difference in crime in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, nor while walking around adjacent neighborhoods. The statistics show NYC to be one of the safest cities in the U.S., in fact not even in the top 200 most dangerous cities, and not even in the 500 most dangerous if you count small cities.

COVID has killed a lot of people, tearing families apart, and has exacerbated terrible mental health issues, etc. This means there is more *visible* poverty in the city than before -- and that makes a lot of people very very very uncomfortable. Per capita, there's less crime than other cities -- but we're not all locked into our little metal boxes on the road where we can't see each other. We walk. We take the train. And space is at a premium here. Americans aren't used to that! You're less likely to be the victim of a crime -- but you're more likely to WITNESS a crime.

Also, I feel like some of this is a panic whipped up by the tabloids trying to sell more papers and by the carceral state and for-profit prisons trying to roll back NY's bail reform. And what they're doing is working! People are freaking out and panicking. Observing that does NOT mean I am downplaying anyone's fear, because fear is a REAL, pervasive thing and it can seriously impact your mental health -- but let's be honest about where it's coming from. That said, I am not a woman, nor am I a little person; OTOH I am not an imposing presence and I was targeted by muggers a couple of times when I lived in suburban New Jersey near Newark, and *nothing* like that has happened to me in 8 years in south Brooklyn. But I can't speak for Hell's Kitchen.

I’m also from that area and the best advice I could give you is always try to walk where the most light is, I know on the weekends there are more people out who tend to just be drunk and loud but I like it better than a completely empty block with one weirdo and not sure what areas you walk by but there are guards always around the 50th/49th area between 9th and 8th Ave walking around.

LES no better. We just had 2 unprevoked stabbings here with a day of each other.

I adore Battery Park and would love to move back there when i’m a little older. I watch my friends son down there once a week and it will forever be my favorite neighborhood/home.

Right now, and especially in this market, it’s not really an option for me to move back there. I really really love the building and apartment i’m in - there’s only 20 apartments in the building, I know everyone, my dogs babysitter lives in the building, and my super (the best person in the world who makes me feel so safe) lives on my floor. Plus, my monthly rent is crazy cheap for a 1br with tons of light, and I wouldn’t be able to find anything downtown (or maybe in manhattan) for the price i’m paying. I will definitely move back to BPC one day, though.

I’m fairly well trained with firearms but the process is incredibly long to get a concealed permit and i’m not 100% comfortable carrying a piece around and being responsible for life altering decisions that have to be made in a split second.

That story really shouldn't scare you -- you are falling prey to a very common bias: it's in the news and heavily covered so you are overestimating the risk. What you should be scared about is being hit by a car (pedestrian deaths are much more common. So common that they aren't covered in the news and so you don't worry about it.) You are much more likely to be hit by a falling branch or falling construction debris and be seriously injured or killed. Don't let the news make you scared. That was a very rare case, but rare stuff does occur -- just rarely.

I threw in my two cents because I also feel that there's a limit to what talk therapy can offer here.

I think the thing that is vexing for people like you who have handled all sorts of situations over the years growing up here is the randomness of the threat - like straight up crime has a predictable beginning, middle and end and what's occurring now sounds like unprovoked assaults and menacing on a large scale which no one can prepare for. Really sucks.

Did you read my post about what has happened to me recently? If you did that’s a pretty obnoxious post.

And even if you didn't its obnoxious. You have no fg idea what ppls experiences are, a lot of us have had actual real shit happen to us as well as are aware that many other people are being targeted, assaulted and menaced. No, it's not just on tv.

First, I am allowed to have my own thoughts and fears regarding my livelihood. While being hit by a car may be more common here than being stabbed, it doesn’t completely eradicate the possibility of being assaulted, nor does it make anyone’s fear of such less legitimate.

Second, I am scared because there have been countless random stabbings, slashings, and assaults in my neighborhood this summer. Just last month, two people were brutally stabbed in front of the deli I go to every day, and two people were slashed in front of the target two blocks away in a highly populated area in broad daylight. The EMS worker story is scary because the woman was simply doing her job and administering aid when a random person decided she needed to die. So even if these incidents are “rare,” they still occur and they should be viewed as frightening to everyone in the city.

Third, I think it is insensitive and obnoxious for you to compare your above listed scenarios when the woman who’s comment thread you responded to openly stated that someone attempted to push her into traffic. Please be more compassionate.

I definitely always try to walk in crowds or around other people. Luckily my block is fairly lively at night so I feel pretty safe once i’m on the block - I still am super vigilant though.

I actually work in the building you’re talking about with all of the security guards. I feel safe on that block but I live further west by the river. My job pays for cars home after 8pm, but I never take them up on it as my puppy’s day care is closed by then. So I always try to leave at least 30 minutes before sunset and finish my work at home.

That’s not an option for me and I don’t want it to be. I shouldn’t need to have a large dog with me to feel safe in my city. Plus, I have girl friends with dobermans and german shepherds, and they say they draw more attention when they’re walking them rather than when they’re alone.

Oh ok that makes sense then, I think it does get a little empty and less lively the more west you go towards the river so I can understand the worry.

I’m not a woman so I can’t even imagine how it feels for you to be in that type of mindset after experiencing those things but I hope you and the puppy remain safe and hopefully don’t experience anything anymore ✨

Actually, if you look at my post, the nesting will show that I was not replying to you, but rather to a person who was just saying that hearing about the EMS working made them scared.

I would not have said that to you, having lived in The Village in the 1970s/80s when there were many odd/dangerous people there (as well as many criminals who were very dangerous throughout NYC). Being afraid is part of what makes you safer (though not safe) and you seem to be making very good decisions when confronted with those people. Since you responded to my comment, what I wanted to say to you is that when it gets to the point where you are not willing to go out, you may have tipped into depression (not surprising given the last several years) and you may want to seek professional assistance.

“Actually” they had very similar experiences. THey wrote a whole post about it. So how about ppl have reasons to actually be scared, not just shit they see in the news. Btw, If the news played all the shit that actually happens most everyone, especially women bc we are more frequently the targets for this shit, would be terrified. It’s exactly why I don’t read local news. But keep assuming news is why, but stop telling ppl who live these experiences that they’re just falling prey to the news, it’s obnoxious.

!!!!!!!

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