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letmeseesubreddits t1_j7zmfa7 wrote

Reply to comment by SmittyManJensen_ in TIFU by spending the night at my boyfriend’s by [deleted]

i cant wait. i’ve been counting down the days for what seems like forever now.

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imVexx t1_j806l16 wrote

Be careful, my girlfriend's grandparents do this to her still and she's 27. Her dad was in a similar situation as your mom but he passed shortly after I met her and then they went full on crazy on her when he was out of the picture. Threatening to call her job and force her managers to get her off work when she refused to go to family gatherings in other states during work days (which isn't so much of a real threat so much as a threat of embarrassment), invoking power of attorney that she unknowingly signed when she was like 12, opening disability in her name, etc.

Fuck these people, I have no patience for these kinds of people after battling this crap for 4 years as an already overwhelmed young adult.

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seakingsoyuz t1_j809hcw wrote

> that she unknowingly signed when she was 12

Minors can’t execute a power of attorney so this shouldn’t have been enforceable. Only their parent(s)/guardian(s) can execute it, and they generally expire after six months to a year. This sounds like they were trying to use a meaningless document to bluff.

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imVexx t1_j80cik8 wrote

You're absolutely right. Most of it is bluffs and thankfully I've come to realize that as well, but the time and energy spent verifying and fighting them is exhausting. It's amazing how much time and money they've sunk into messing with her life but as retirees who owned their own restaurant they sure have a lot of both.

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TarnishedThrowaway20 t1_j80h0al wrote

27 is not 17. Two 80-year-old people are dealing with a drug addict daughter and are responsible for a 17-year-old who thinks it ok to disappear overnight and get pissy when two 80-year-old grandparents are worried about her. Jesus. Y’all have zero compassion for what these grandparents are dealing with.

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Dirus t1_j80ka1f wrote

What if they have a daughter with an addiction problem because they were shit parents? We don't know anything about their life or OPs life. We can only say from OP's posts is that she feels her grandparents are overbearing towards both their daughter and granddaughter.

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TarnishedThrowaway20 t1_j80m9mb wrote

That is certainly a possibility but that’s not indicated. All we know is that she didn’t come home after work on a dark and rainy night. The grandparents, even if the shittiest grandparents ever, called around looking for her. When they didn’t find her, they called the police. I am still not understanding the problem here. OP even admits that they don’t do this to her often. They do monitor their drug-addicted daughter a lot more. Because she is an addict who is living with them. Should they just not care what their daughter and grand daughter are doing or where they are?

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Dirus t1_j81qsqm wrote

>The grandparents, even if the shittiest grandparents ever, called around looking for her.

Except the mom. The one person they should've called or woken up first before anyone else.

If they had done that then it would be within reason, but they didn't.

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SirGlenn t1_j807p3l wrote

My parents would send us out to play after dinner, with a "be home by 7" type of warning, for every minute we were late, 2 minutes were deducted from our play time for the rest of the summer, if you were late 30 minutes, deduct one hour from play time the rest of the summer) We were not allowed to have a watch. (parents were German, and drunk, you will have no fun! Achtung!)

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Fatigue-Error t1_j809v9o wrote

Were you supposed to just know the time automatically?

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Avidite t1_j80cvvq wrote

I had a similar thing when growing up. Mostly it was "When the streetlights come on, it's time to come home." Typically that would be around 7-8.

If it was a specific time, we (my brothers and I) would periodically ask for the time from one of our neighbors or when one of our friends went inside.

This was a time before everyone had cellphones.

I would guess they had to do similar things.

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TarnishedThrowaway20 t1_j80gomb wrote

You didn’t go spent the night at your friend’s house without letting your parents know.

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the_ringmasta t1_j80izzy wrote

OP said in the post that she did tell her parent and got explicit prior approval.

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TarnishedThrowaway20 t1_j80lnet wrote

Her grandparents have custody of her. Not her mom. Her mom is a recovering addict. Courts don’t strip away custody on a whim.

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RandomHavoc123 t1_j80mutn wrote

No, her mother has legal custody of OP. For God's sake read the post before commenting incorrect information. TIFU by spending the night at my boyfriend’s

>EDIT #2: one more time to say that although my grandparents are filed as legal guardians as my mom is still working through her rehab, MY MOTHER HAS LEGAL CUSTODY OVER ME. what my mom said should have been enough. she is not damaged goods because she is battling herself, im so proud of her for being clean for so long now and i love her. my grandparents have done things like this to everyone in my family and that is why none of my siblings are here anymore.

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TarnishedThrowaway20 t1_j80n8f5 wrote

In the first set of edits, OP says her grandparents are her legal guardians. Later she says her mother has legal custody. I’m not sure what to believe. For God’s sake, read the original post before commenting incorrect information.

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killswitch2 t1_j806003 wrote

You can also report your grandparents missing. I don't recommend this, it's a huge waste of resources, but perhaps a little payback is in order so they learn the embarrassment.

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autistic_strega t1_j806j23 wrote

That's not a good idea, let's not make the only adults on her side angry at her too

Edit: only adults on her side as in the authorities. Fuck the grandparents but doing the same thing as them doesn't help anyone.

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[deleted] OP t1_j806q3r wrote

[removed]

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Alise_Randorph t1_j80byl6 wrote

No, because she's now making false police reports. Not a good idea.

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autistic_strega t1_j808sl0 wrote

I did read the post, I just don't see how doing the same thing her grandparents did solves any problems.

Edit: in my above comment I was referring to the authorities as the adults on her side, not her grandparents. Maybe that's where you got confused.

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