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presstart777 t1_iu28mu3 wrote

TIL Chester Bennington was the lead singer of STP.

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CrewMemberNumber6 t1_iu293sm wrote

The article you mentioned makes no mention of sexual abuse. Do you have an actual source for this info or are you is this something you just heard? If so, post the source instead of some irrelevant article tagged with a sensational headline.

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-domi- t1_iu297wd wrote

Or did he?

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Karmic_Hazard t1_iu2aa5o wrote

I never understood how people could cry for celebrities that they didn't even know in person. Sad, sure. But to cry, I thought was crazy. Until Robin Williams passed. I teared up when I found out. Then when Chester passed, I just got done playing a few LP songs. Then I quietly wept in my car. Such good people to lose to depression after they had helped me get out of my own so many times. Will always miss them.

Edit: As corrected: Depression was not the main reason for Robin Williams suicide. While it did play a very small part, it was mainly due to his condition, Lewy Body Dementia.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/nov/03/robin-williams-disintegrating-before-suicide-widow-says

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UWontAgreeWithMe t1_iu2awbk wrote

He's only a few years older than me. I was heavily abused as a young child as well. Their music put a lot of words to feelings. In fact their music is basically him penning the symptoms of PTSD and the feelings of disassociation, grief, guilt, shame and things like that.

I'm almost 40. I'm struggling my ass of with the ramifications of sexual, mental and physical abuse. It's permeated everything. No aspect of my life is untouched by it. I have ruined my life and hurt or disappointed so many fuckin' people because of it. I've lost everything, I'm basically a hermit and trapped in a prison in my mind. I could feel that in their music and when he killed himself, it felt like watching the future. Like in the end, it doesn't even matter.

I wish like hell he didn't do it because yeah, I kinda looked to the music for support or a sense of not being alone but as time ticks on, I understand why he'd do it despite being on top of the world. Why all the money and fame wouldn't undo those feelings.

And I don't want that to be my future but it might be. You run out of treatment. You run out of medications to take that don't do anything. You can't be in therapy daily unless you're rich and have nothing but time. Depending on how young it happens it will hardwire you differently for relationships and other basic, fundamental human experiences. You never feel whole, you never feel clean, you always feel like a monster in your head and it's a fuckin' nightmare. And it's not easy or easier as a man dealing with it. It's hard to find support groups that allow men. It's hard to find support. It's hard to ask for help. I should be calling a goddamn crisis line right now but I can't see how my problems should be seen as equal to others who would need the help more like people who have a chance at steering away from this shitty place. Anything I ever did in this life, not matter what, isn't deserving of this living hell.

I was so fuckin' angry when he died because until then he was a pretty good advertisement for being able to level up to having a decent life and then it turned out not to be true. It was rough then, it's rough tonight.

Goddammit. No one deserves this. It's not fair. It's not right but it's a lot of people's reality. People are fighting hard to make it through each day because someone who is cold and callous, someone who can't even be bothered to remember or feel remorse did this to you because of many absolutely unexcusable reasons. It's one of the most heartbreaking and soul crushing things you can come to realize about this world.

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prufrockmitty t1_iu2bd87 wrote

That is what I was resonating with in some of those songs!

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ocktick t1_iu2bt7n wrote

Idk why it bothers me so much that the author felt it necessary to change the quote to “[complain]” like what gives you the right to change someone’s words because they make you uncomfortable?

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rpaul9578 OP t1_iu2cbuf wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

It breaks my heart that due to someone's selfishness and callousness that someone so great with so many gifts to give the world had to suffer so deeply and his life cut short. I want to put it on billboards for people to see the result of SA in people's lives. That it is a very big deal.

While nothing I say is going to take that away for you, please know that you are just as worthy as anyone to call a crisis hotline. You have just as much a chance as anyone to steer yourself out of a crisis.

I have struggled with depression on and off for most of my life and what helped me is educating myself on the things that I was struggling with. Whatever I was feeling I put into the search bar on YouTube and watched videos of people talking about that emotion. I found blogs and YouTube channels that help to educate me on the things that I needed help with like relationships and attachment disorder. I feel like anything that we struggle with can be overcome with wisdom. Perhaps my techniques might help your situation.

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cgarcusm t1_iu2cpid wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

Thank you for posting this. I really hope that is not your future. You deserve love, friendship, joy and more just because you are you. You are worth it. Even if you’ve hurt people, you are worth it. The things done that scarred you do not change the fact that you are worth it. You are not alone.

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tetoffens t1_iu2cpvo wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#272,342)

Yes, Q idiots. Pizzagate isn't real. The restaurant doesn't even have a basement. Someone literally went there with a gun and found fucking nothing. There is literally nowhere there that has the space for this conspiracy to even be real.

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tetoffens t1_iu2cw1g wrote

Replying to ocktick (#272,716)

That's not the purpose. Generally, they're quotes from verbal interviews and people can say things aloud that make sense but don't when written verbatim so they do this to make it clear.

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ocktick t1_iu2d4ms wrote

Replying to tetoffens (#272,889)

No, the purpose is to make it PC. He said people like to bitch, author changed it to people like to complain. It’s not a clarity thing, the meaning was obvious

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rpaul9578 OP t1_iu2f0hq wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

It looks like I can't message you directly but if you're interested and want to message me, I can share with you some resources that have pulled me out of depression. They have to do with dysfunction around relationships and attachment trauma. Our traumas are different but it could be helpful.

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mushroom4two t1_iu2f9ha wrote

RIP Chester. That said, I never liked his music. I know it's an unpopular opinion but it's what I think nonetheless.

It doesn't mean I don't respect him as a person though, I mean the "period ahh period uhh" girl is still alive yet it does't mean she doesn't deserve to have people who are glad to know her as a person so...

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zzzojka t1_iu2fe9r wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

I always hated how "go to therapy!" is what everyone slaps like a bandaid onto a pile of ashes that is a ruined person's life. Did they not see all the suiсidеd celebrities with a lot friends, loving families, successful arts, access to best therapy and comfortable rehabs? It's not an exercise you do to inevitably get better. It doesn't always help.

One of the things that got me through was a Stephen Hawking quote, something like "while there is life, there is hope". I'm not sure time helps or therapy helps, but life sometimes helps.

I looked through your profile and I think you're a very likeable funny human. I wish you days that are easy to live through and a good score in kicking kids with a bouncing ball on ice!

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Charger525 t1_iu2fu65 wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

As a child abuse survivor, what you say resonates with me and it hasn’t been til the last few years that I’ve begun to come to terms with that abuse. I get medications and they help as much as I think they can. I see a therapist often to work through my traumas, but I hope in whatever capacity you need, I hope you get the solace you’re needing and looking for. I won’t say it gets better over time because (in my opinion) I’m not sure it does. But I hope you become better equipped to live with it and be the better for it.

If you ever want to vent or talk or shoot the shit or just anything really, message me privately. Sometimes it helps.

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Huli_Blue_Eyes t1_iu2g0dx wrote

And he did it on Chris Cornell’s birthday.

Edited.

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Som12Love t1_iu2grqp wrote

And now we shall wait for the conspiracy theorists to post on this lol

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ovationman t1_iu2hfaz wrote

Abuse and post traumatic stress changes a persons brain. There is effective and lasting treatment of trauma. Anyone struggling with mental health problems and especially thoughts of harming yourself should call 988 and or seek out your own local mental health resources.

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Killadelphia t1_iu2j0eg wrote

And you just learned this today? I can't say I'm a fan of people karma whoring from someone's death.

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rpaul9578 OP t1_iu2jit3 wrote

Replying to RadTek88 (#273,874)

If I could post on billboards across the country the long term effects of sexual abuse on children to discourage even one person from doing so, I would.

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Roach307 t1_iu2pm8i wrote

Don’t remind us dude.

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-domi- t1_iu2x58s wrote

Replying to ovationman (#273,389)

U rite, but it was quite the sight watching people high on copium, trying to connect shit to some kind of pedo conspiracy that also involved Chris Cornell's suicide. I guess a domino effect doesn't provide enough closure for some.

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malakaswife t1_iu2zgcr wrote

He also committed suicide on what would have been Chris Cornell’s 53rd birthday. Chris committed suicide that May-those around him said he was devastated by that

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Keegan311NLRBE t1_iu34v2j wrote

Chester Bennington was not in STP. You’re thinking of Scott Weiland.

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InSearchOfGreenLight t1_iu3g0l9 wrote

Replying to rpaul9578 (#273,909)

I often wonder if there was like a required reading manual on all the horrible things that can happen to children that were sexually abused and they had to prove they had read over every word… I wonder if that would change anything.

It might if you are someone who was sexually abused and are thinking about doing it to someone else to somehow rid yourself of pain. I don’t understand how that works but I have heard that is a response some people have.

The people who are callous, probably nothing would make them care.

I dunno.

It’s hell.

Hell.

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El_Tapir t1_iu3jzio wrote

Saw one of his last performances at Rock Werchter. He was crying whilst singing crawling (accoustic) and hugging fans. At the moment I just thought he was very emotional because of the song and the crowd. Turned out there was more to it when I heard the news after

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Sunnygurrl t1_iu3knnf wrote

Replying to Karmic_Hazard (#272,478)

We didn't lose Robin Williams because of depression. He had Lewy Body Dementia and killed himself before his disease got worse. Suicides are awful, but please be accurate as to the cause..

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Sunnygurrl t1_iu3l0m5 wrote

Replying to rpaul9578 (#273,980)

Here's the thing, a person who commits sexual assault isn't going to magically stop because of a post. They're going to do it regardless. I know from experience. I begged and pleaded with my stepfather not to. Didn't do shit. Fuck this comment making you seem like some kind of good guy for dragging Chester and his past into your misguided white knight attempt.

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_kumkani_ t1_iu3m8qz wrote

I can’t downvote this twice

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garlicbreadmemesplz t1_iu3qbg7 wrote

But I mean the Chris Cornell relation, story, and death are a little coincidental.

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ElfMage83 t1_iu3v5ml wrote

Well, yes. This was reasonably big news at the time.

Did you miss this news then because Trump was still on Twitter clogging everybody's feed?

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Odd-Block-7922 t1_iu3xl3h wrote

When was he the lead vocalist for stone temple pilots?

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stodolak t1_iu4ri2a wrote

I wish mental health was taken more seriously in the United States. I feel like all my childhood idols either committed suicide or overdosed.

Every single day I read about another school shooting. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I want a better future for my kids and myself.

How much longer are we going to keep up the facade of normalcy when we're literally killing each other and ourselves off.

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SexysPsycho t1_iu4rsa4 wrote

Replying to UWontAgreeWithMe (#272,602)

No my friend we dont. I was abused for probably 10 years of my life my multiple people. I struggle everyday with the destruction it has caused. The only reason I havent killed myself is I have to be here for my kids

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rpaul9578 OP t1_iu4vsak wrote

Replying to Sunnygurrl (#279,237)

I'm really sorry that this happened to you. It's so damaging. I agree that it might not do anything but the alternative is we don't create awareness and that's not going to help anything either.

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Karmic_Hazard t1_iu4w398 wrote

Replying to Sunnygurrl (#279,195)

I knew he had Lewy Body Dementia but was unaware that it was the main reason for his suicide. Depression was only a small part as explained from his wife. The very first thing that pops up for his suicide was how he was suffering from major depression. I do not dig deep into celebrities lives like that so that's just what I knew. Probably what a lot of people know because it's an instant Google search headline. Instead of telling people to just be accurate, maybe go with, "Hey. It actually wasn't mainly depression. They did an interview with his wife and here's what really happened if you're interested in checking it out." Followed with a link to back up the statement and/or claim. The guardian was the only source (that I saw within the first 5 links) that had that interview with his wife. Being rude deters people from listening. I know that probably wasn't your intent, but that's just how it came off as. Also, my story wasn't for the cause, it was just me sharing my experience. Thank you for the insight, though. I genuinely appreciate it.

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rpaul9578 OP t1_iu4wfcq wrote

Replying to Sunnygurrl (#288,193)

I'm not pretending that this is going to stop a person from committing a crime. I do believe that we don't talk enough in this country about the long-term effects of sexual abuse and we really need to. We need to share stories like this in order for people to see them who might be thinking about hurting a child. Who might be currently hurting a child. Thinking that it's not a big deal because they might not remember it or just not thinking through how this is going to affect them for the rest of their lives. These stories are important to share. It just might help somebody.

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Sunnygurrl t1_iu4wnaw wrote

Replying to Karmic_Hazard (#288,216)

I actually wasn't trying to be rude. It was more of a "Hey, be careful" kind of thing. I'm sorry it came across that way. It's hard to accurately portray nuance in text without emotions to show intent.

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Karmic_Hazard t1_iu4xm7l wrote

Replying to Sunnygurrl (#288,319)

No worries at all. Texting is awful for serious conversations with strangers, haha. I know there wasn't any ill intent. And I do sincerely apologize for my ignorance on Robin's suicide. You are 100% in the right for calling it out. I'm glad I know what really happened now.

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SirFraggles t1_iu6isdt wrote

Replying to zzzojka (#273,262)

I feel like people neglect the realization that therapy takes work. It takes years of really hard, emotional, grueling work. And in fact, therapy can take a lot more work than just trying to ignore the thing(s) that are making you miserable. And it has to arrive at the right time. Sometimes it comes too little and too late for the weight and trauma of the things that came before it. Therapy IS the solution, but it has a LOT of caveats.

I say all of this as someone who has been in therapy for nearly a decade now--and it was a really, really close call between which would win: therapy or suicide.

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zzzojka t1_iu6mp5f wrote

Replying to SirFraggles (#298,926)

I'm glad it helped you, but it's not like that for everyone and isn't a guarantee even with hard work over the years. People who never reached healing they desired did not work less hard that you. Besides years of therapy I have education in psychology.

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InSearchOfGreenLight t1_iuftd01 wrote

Replying to rpaul9578 (#288,281)

You have a point.

Maybe when I was 5 my father would have actually pondered it. Now he’s too far gone.

Maybe people wouldn’t judge fat people so much if they knew that eating disorders come out of extreme childhood abuse.

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