Submitted by diabolical_cunt t3_11ajb9g in worldnews
Comments
dalton10e t1_j9sk47y wrote
I was going to suggest sending Ukraine some cool weapons, but the fucking Aussies are ahead of me on this one, and I'm damn proud to hear it.
They just announced a new round of equipment for Ukraine, including drones and more howitzers.
That is a properly measured fuck you.
CutlassRed t1_j9tkxo1 wrote
We also sent APCs early on.
nagrom7 t1_j9trgv3 wrote
Yeah, Ukraine specifically asked for Bushmasters by name, and we sent them some (we should probably send them more though).
SnakesTancredi t1_j9tzobo wrote
Just speaking of names, I hope Australia names their weapons after their animals. There has gotta be something with the EMU acronym but they have such a variety of deadly creatures that It would be interesting.
That or just make a drone that drops snakes. I dunno get creative with it and shake things up.
TURD_SMASHER t1_j9u0zdi wrote
Send the emus, they're undefeated in war
dalton10e t1_j9u0pg2 wrote
With the help of the latest shipment of Australian Koalas, the Ukrainian army has been inflicting devastating losses on Russian forces near the front.
Sounds bout right
Vier_Scar t1_j9vrjtd wrote
The koala population has taken a beating with bushfires and logging :( and they're pretty lazy, just sleep and eat most of the day.
Probably better to send the drop bears
TrophyMinority t1_j9vu66p wrote
What in the holy duck is a drop bear?
Vier_Scar t1_j9vw4j1 wrote
Kinda like koalas but their diet includes meat and fruit which is higher in calories so they're much more active. They're still slow and clumsy on ground though, so they wait for prey in trees and then jump from there. Generally stay pretty far from cities though
dalton10e t1_j9wv6p0 wrote
If you're ever visiting Australia you will need to know that drop bears can and will kill you. Particularly tourists.
Brian_Damage t1_j9vkeft wrote
They were gonna sell the EF88/F90 rifle in the US civvie market as the "Atrax", which is the genus name for funnelweb spiders.
SnakesTancredi t1_j9vmjva wrote
Wow. Cool to know!
BulberFish t1_j9w7c7p wrote
> I hope Australia names their weapons after their animals.
The Loyal Wingman Australia has developed is called the Ghost Bat.
> The species is the only Australian bat that preys on large vertebrates – birds, reptiles and other mammals – which they detect using acute sight and hearing, combined with echolocation, while waiting in ambush at a perch.
Caster-Hammer t1_j9w7gl9 wrote
I was just like "they should send some drones named Drop Bears" but then I was like "fuck it just send some drop bears." Imagine the reactions of the Russians who hadn't even seen indoor plumbing before they stole a Ukrainian home.
SnakesTancredi t1_j9wfb0p wrote
Put ‘em in a little helmet that says “kill ‘em all” and give them tiny cigars. You got a marvel movie right there.
tommybutters t1_j9tyhkh wrote
Bushmasters are such a cool vehicle
BAXR6TURBSKIFALCON t1_j9x815q wrote
There’s some videos from Ukranian soldiers praising the Bushie and thanking Australia which is pretty neat
reece1495 t1_j9viu9f wrote
> more howitzers
sort of , we are providing the powder to make them
nagrom7 t1_j9u57g3 wrote
Despite being half a world away from the conflict, there's not much love in Australia for Russia. A lot of the passengers on MH17 were Australian (it was the 3rd most represented nationality after Dutch and Malaysian) as they were going to transfer to a flight to Melbourne. There were also a lot of doctors and scientists heading to an HIV conference in Melbourne that likely took a few years off research for more treatments/cures thanks to the loss of that collective knowledge. People were so outraged that the PM of the time threatened to "shirtfront" Putin at the G20 summit we were hosting a few months later (he wimped out though).
Grawlix_TNN t1_j9vir9b wrote
As much as Tony Abbott was a complete numpty, he was apparently a very good boxer. That's a fight I wouldn't mind seeing.
vk2sky t1_j9wyi17 wrote
Once upon a time, Abbott said he was going "shirt front". Never happened. To borrow a phrase from (I think) an earlier Prime Minister, Abbott is all tip and no iceberg. 😄
[deleted] t1_j9se1tn wrote
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Aleksandrovitch t1_j9sivao wrote
"Your punishment will be to walk inland."
AnglerJared t1_j9sq570 wrote
Igor Walkaboutsky.
SGC_Armourer t1_j9swiu4 wrote
Yuri Fuckaboutski to change name to Foundoutski posthumously.
RedditFuckedHumanity t1_j9vyez7 wrote
r/YourJokeButWorse
Imissforumsfuckspez t1_j9w7eck wrote
Soon to be known as Igor Mortis
Vier_Scar t1_j9vr5dk wrote
I heard that's the Australian strategy if someone invades - retreat to the coasts and defend the cities, and let them have the entire desert lol
Visible_Scientist_67 t1_j9wlje9 wrote
This doctrine is based on the deeply held belief that invaders would enter the country from the very middle
Vier_Scar t1_j9wn8ue wrote
From the north coast I think
Visible_Scientist_67 t1_j9wvygx wrote
Their mistake
Vier_Scar t1_j9x7hfs wrote
Yeah, where else would you invade from though? It's an island with no neighbours but North, the only land close to it is north, major threats like China are north. The reef would make it hard to go east by sea too I think.
I doubt anyone would bother invading Australia anyway, it's just not worth the effort. Small population probably going to make a minor impact in wars with larger nations and fairly good allies to the north through all those islands you'd have to sail past.
Visible_Scientist_67 t1_j9x9v1c wrote
Ya I don't know, maybe you'd have to drill from underground, through Rock and Stone...
WanderingDwarfMiner t1_j9x9vvz wrote
Rock and Stone in the Heart!
[deleted] t1_j9xce6r wrote
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user745786 t1_j9x21us wrote
That’s as useful as invading Canada or Greenland from the North.
Vier_Scar t1_j9x6sjl wrote
Yeah, invading from the north let's you disembark, setup, use land and sea and air routes, but from the actual east coast would mean a much, much longer trip by sea, the reef causing issues and obviously would be met with heavy resistance.
South coast is just absurdly long detour to pretty much the same scenario as going north or west. One city, and nothing else. Australia's just pretty empty. Size of the US but only like 7 major cities, mostly on the east coast with no major neighbours anywhere but north
v3ritas1989 t1_j9tictj wrote
ah new troups for the emo front!
SmugCapybara t1_j9tyoyf wrote
Yes, someone needs to hold back the unbridled encroachment of My Chemical Romance...
Lollielegs t1_j9uz2wp wrote
Pretty much walk anywhere.
If you manage to outwalk the spiders, snakes and drop bears the crocodiles will get you.
RIP Molly.
tistef t1_j9sobc1 wrote
Why not put them in prison? Sending them back to Russia... wait that's actually a worst punishment never mind!
LyptusConnoisseur t1_j9tg6mi wrote
Because many of them are most likely embassy staff with diplomatic immunity.
mooimafish33 t1_j9ttxky wrote
As I understand it, offices for these people normally have pretty high windows
Mikeavelli t1_j9typ4h wrote
It's more impactful when they fall out the first floor.
bajaja t1_j9t1dng wrote
the australian spy scene is 100% chinese now?
hojuuuu t1_j9t9ygt wrote
Ignore those satalites outside of Alice Springs though
pk10534 t1_j9vtfwr wrote
You mean the facility Australia has permitted to operate because it’s a FIVE EYES partner who also gets access to US intelligence? Those are not the same thing
hojuuuu t1_j9vzqe6 wrote
Yeah that’s the one! It’s cool when they spy on us
pk10534 t1_j9w0v4s wrote
Why would the US need a base to spy on Australians when Australia already shares intelligence with the US
hojuuuu t1_j9wcm4q wrote
They don't. Having a CIA/NSA listening post in the middle of my country just isn't very nice :)
dalton10e t1_j9wuhqu wrote
How the fuck do you line right next to the place and not know what Pine Gap does and what five eyes is? New Zealand, Australia, Great Britain, the US, and Canada. It's a joint use base. Sends signals to drones and satellites operating over the eastern hemisphere.
Instead of having to build your own fancy surveillance satellites + space program, we share ours, along with intelligence that the CSIO is definitely not catching on their own. So you save billions and we get a relay base in the eastern hemisphere.
hojuuuu t1_j9y7d3g wrote
Why are you seppos always upset? I don’t want your foreign intelligence spooks in my country. It’s very simple. If it was strictly a civilian communication hub no one would care. Go build it in Guam or Diego Garcia or some shit
Bosde t1_j9sgtoh wrote
And now we are sending recon drones. Good stuff.
autotldr t1_j9sdmi8 wrote
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 78%. (I'm a bot)
> CANBERRA, Australia - Australia has quietly expelled a large Russian spy ring whose members were posing as diplomats, a newspaper reported Friday after Australia's main security agency revealed a major counterespionage success.
> The Australian Security Intelligence Organization, the nation's main domestic spy agency, revealed on Tuesday it had "Detected and disrupted a major spy network." ASIO has not named the country responsible.
> The Russian spies were quietly forced out of Australia over the past six months with their visas not renewed or cancelled, the newspaper reported.
Extended Summary | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: spy^#1 Australia^#2 Russian^#3 ASIO^#4 network^#5
brezhnervous t1_j9t3qes wrote
So fucking quiet no one reported on it here lol
ill0gitech t1_j9uy955 wrote
The ASIO annual report was publicised in the media. The ASIO report DOES NOT NAME NAMES.
The allegations it was based out of the Russian Embassy came from other reports, as did expulsion of people.
nicepunk t1_j9t897y wrote
ABC has a couple of videos on their Youtube channel, and there's also a video from Ch 9.
brezhnervous t1_j9tc0i9 wrote
Yeah, that's what I mean. No proper actual MSM reporting. Not sure why after all these decades I'm expecting any different, tbh lol
VagrancyHD t1_j9tjva6 wrote
Did the author just like completely miss this key point of information?
>ASIO has not named the country responsible.
ill0gitech t1_j9uyeeb wrote
They have really made it sound like this was ASIO announcing it, but that speech absolutely didn’t divulge or hint at which state was involved, which is protocol.
jert3 t1_j9tvrqn wrote
I'd be happier if it was execute or imprisonment. These Russian terrorists, supported by their own government, have been killing innocent civilians in targeted assassinations for years now. It will hardly dent their operation to just send them home, wtf treason is this.
canigetahellyeahhhhh t1_j9vhkcw wrote
I'm no expert but I think there is a bit of mutual intelligence acceptance, you wouldn't want Russia to start executing random diplomats on false allegations. I think countries are more concerned with domestic spies than their foreign handlers.
[deleted] t1_j9t084a wrote
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[deleted] t1_j9t34f2 wrote
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JHCNotanotherUserID t1_j9t5idl wrote
Is it a “hive” or is it a “nest”…..
[deleted] t1_j9timo7 wrote
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Kakatheman t1_j9tjhiq wrote
"Beef Stroganoff or Chow Mein tonight?"
prontoon t1_j9ufgui wrote
I fucking loathe the use of "quietly" and all of the dozens of buzz words headlines just loooove to use. If they posted the headline without the word quietly, it would still hold meaning and wouldn't sound like some stupid bs.
Key-Bell8173 t1_j9uhr61 wrote
More people falling out of windows
Tudpool t1_j9vov4p wrote
"Quietly"
[deleted] t1_j9vx3uj wrote
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[deleted] t1_j9wo5l3 wrote
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Financial-Shoe-3065 t1_j9wyo4k wrote
Russia is a terrorist state
Andy900_2 t1_j9zkamn wrote
Meaning they used suppressors when executing them. I hope.
[deleted] t1_j9sib20 wrote
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Ixneigh t1_j9t41j2 wrote
Fox News?
ryan30z t1_j9t7kll wrote
Australia doesn't have a local fox news. Our wanna be fox news copy is sky news.
swankytortoise t1_j9t9po9 wrote
Its all murdock anyway
wotmate t1_j9tjoi8 wrote
Same shit, different corn
[deleted] t1_j9sfffv wrote
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macross1984 t1_j9sdaru wrote
Perhaps Australia should recall its ambassador from Russia and downgrade relationship to consular level only because Russia cannot be trusted.