Submitted by Royal_Tumbleweed_910 t3_11s28tz in GetMotivated
Comments
TAU_equals_2PI t1_jcbn9ca wrote
Just make sure to use different axes for your beard & your balls.
jeswesky t1_jcbpyyw wrote
What if I don’t have balls?
Sch1z01dMan t1_jcbq5t6 wrote
Was this before or after using the axe?
Fairly_Original t1_jcbw4w8 wrote
Looks like mountain oysters are on the menu, folks
Here2LearnMorePlz t1_jcbwdky wrote
Probably call OP’s “ant hill oysters”
ShruteFarms4L t1_jcc323j wrote
BME pain Olympics
ExiledCanuck t1_jcc44tt wrote
Asking the important questions.
King_Tudrop t1_jccqeff wrote
Instructions unclear, balls stuck in wood chipper.
CarpeNoctu t1_jccpstj wrote
With a good axe, you can get some.
mynameisblanked t1_jcc742k wrote
They don't have to be attached to you
TBNRFIREFOX t1_jccmojt wrote
We’re you using the wrong axe?
Guardian1030 t1_jcbxzes wrote
Face axe
Scrotaxe
pedestrianpinniped t1_jcc9jbt wrote
Why though? If she shaves she shaves. If my balls are so contaminated I can't let something that touched them contact my face I need a shower.
TheGodEmperorOfChaos t1_jcc4ene wrote
ChicoBroadway t1_jcbiqbg wrote
Thank you for saying exactly what I was going to say. Please accept this meaningless emoji award: 🏆
cappsthelegend t1_jcblpu9 wrote
Hahah thank you for the award :)
Light_Wood_Laminate t1_jcc360y wrote
It's your lucky day! 💵💵💵💵💵
exemplariasuntomni t1_jcc975v wrote
You can also definitely cut a tree with any blade.
Cutting it down is another matter.
ksigley t1_jcc5nb9 wrote
You can definitely cut a tree with a razor.
[deleted] t1_jccmj4p wrote
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Sole_Meanderer t1_jcbt2oi wrote
That’s why you gotta keep it sharp, to get through the beards.
BlakeMW t1_jccid11 wrote
This statement would be perfectly reasonable in a fantasy universe where you have to fight dwarves, as dwarven beard hair is often attributed with fantastical qualities.
k-tax t1_jccn9hv wrote
It definitely works similar to HEPA filters. Dwarves usually have long lifespans. It would be virtually impossible with all the contamination from dust, fine particles and other bad stuff in mines.
Sole_Meanderer t1_jcd952j wrote
Itd be pretty tough to decacpitate a dwarf with a beard full of mithril dust from years of mining, but i have no quarrel with the dwarves, they make good axes.
lokicramer t1_jcc0vkd wrote
For sure, even a dull axe can cut hair if it's laid on a surface.
Who needs the razors, I've never liked them.
WillKimball t1_jcc66tm wrote
Also the definition of a tree is very loose, you could take a razor to a Shrub.
Peraou t1_jccq1dr wrote
A shrub is for sure not a tree, but you could certainly take a razor to a sapling
WillKimball t1_jccy39b wrote
I was thinking of a fern tree.
[deleted] t1_jcbqrev wrote
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VeGr-FXVG t1_jcc36z7 wrote
Huh, and I thought I was the only one with hair growing out of the box.
Edit: Wait, don't upvote this guy. He's a bot and copied this comment. Please click Report - Spam - Harmful bots.
kickintheface t1_jccgcaw wrote
I sliced open my finger with my Hultafors axe. I didn’t even think it was possible for an axe to be razor sharp straight out of the box.
WillKimball t1_jcc5o78 wrote
We have clearly seen tangled
unripenedboyparts t1_jcc9cc9 wrote
I aee you've met my stylist.
[deleted] t1_jcbylqk wrote
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maximuffin2 t1_jccc03m wrote
If you ain’t a BITCH
coderash t1_jccg7bq wrote
Certainly with MY axe...
Artanthos t1_jccgqd2 wrote
Thelastnormalperson t1_jcclkpv wrote
I'd rather cut hair with an axe than a tree with a razorblade
DarthSlicer t1_jccnjzj wrote
This is why I opened this thread 😂
Trolodrol t1_jccq87s wrote
Yeah, I’ve seen videos of the barbers that do this. It looks crazy
DemonDucklings t1_jccql37 wrote
Poorly. You could also cut a tree with a razor poorly.
Zandt88 t1_jcbq06k wrote
I always grew up with "Never look down on someone unless it is to extend your hand to them to help them up".
ehjhey t1_jcbscxv wrote
I came to comment this as well. It's one I only heard fairly recently, but one I'll pass down to my children
410_Bacon t1_jccamlt wrote
"The only time you should look into your neighbors bowl is to make sure they have enough" is one I heard.
Zandt88 t1_jcceklu wrote
Oh nice. I like that one.
smoovebb t1_jccmdim wrote
That's a great sentiment and often the opposite of the vibe Reddit provides to commenters 😅
djstraylight t1_jcbmucr wrote
I really wish people would stop posting this image.
Every person who makes a custom axe always tests it by shaving the hair on their arm.
cschafer1991 t1_jcbrjh4 wrote
Maybe it should say for cutting cocain. A curved blade would make that difficult.
FoundationOfFarts t1_jcbsyzk wrote
do you speak from experience
RenaxTM t1_jcc9ndy wrote
Challenge accepted!
or not, can't be bothered.
One-Creme-8385 t1_jcc0zm1 wrote
Eh, a mezaluna would make quick work of a kilo...
Hunghoudini t1_jccb22q wrote
No it doesn’t
cschafer1991 t1_jccgohc wrote
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hunghoudini t1_jcchqy6 wrote
Nice try detective. You’re gonna have to be quicker than that.
JimBones31 t1_jcc3gr4 wrote
And....this is a hatchet 😆
Mash__Gang t1_jcchzmd wrote
And every time I make a razor I test it by cutting down a tree
[deleted] t1_jccj8ls wrote
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gahidus t1_jccqijq wrote
Doesn't change the fact that an axe is a terrible shaving implement.
chi7p1 t1_jcd5yns wrote
While normal razors and axes are useful in their own way, you gotta admit that a razor-sharp-hair-cutting-axe is clearly in the upper league.
DJKaito t1_jcbpufl wrote
PMmeHOPEplease t1_jccejwv wrote
Brilliant. Next.
Johny_bravo-420 t1_jccrllq wrote
Razor Blade Tree Specialist don't cut trees with blades, that's just the organization's name lol but I like the way you think. Take an upvote!
maobezw t1_jcbhzb9 wrote
ahm... a razorblade CAN cut(!) a tree. easily. though its a tiny cut on the very surface of the bark....
alwaysmyfault t1_jcbmfzc wrote
Can't cut "down" a tree.
brine909 t1_jcbmro4 wrote
Depends how many razors and how much time you got
FItzierpi t1_jcbvra5 wrote
Tree death by a thousand paper cuts
frugalerthingsinlife t1_jcbr7lv wrote
Seedlings and saplings are easy to cut down with just one razor.
SlipsonSurfaces t1_jcbpxyv wrote
Don't doubt me.
cippopotomas t1_jcc3psx wrote
What if you fired it at a high velocity at a tree with a width shorter than the blades?
alwaysmyfault t1_jcc4e19 wrote
Not sure that would be considered a "tree" at that point. More like a sapling.
And even then, I guess it would depend on just how fast it was fired. A razor blade has little mass, so it would need to be going at a decent velocity to gain enough force to cut through even a 2 inch sapling.
VictimOfRegions t1_jccfcgv wrote
Yeah the phrasing really lets down the sentiment here. Just like a sharp axe can cut hair no problem, they should've said you wouldn't use it for a haircut
siler7 t1_jcc57y4 wrote
it's
Inigogoboots t1_jcbdj2x wrote
Bro I got my Hultafors bruk axe, and it could shave hair right out of the box.
Dark-GV t1_jcbhrxr wrote
Zgerv t1_jcbzn24 wrote
Nice shoes. Loser
Magicman72789 t1_jcbed8x wrote
Axes: The closest shave you can get
MisterRioE_Nigma t1_jcbjfhu wrote
U can have one thing on the desert island, the razor blade, or the axe.
Dr. Feelgood trying to tell us value hierarchies just dont exist now, all to make you feel better about being a fucking razorblade on a desert island.
albertowtf t1_jcbsrxh wrote
Now picture this. You are not on a forrest but on a city and you are about to go on a date. Which one do you pick the razor blade or the axe?
Dr. ithinkimfuckingsmart b. utimreallyprettydumb usually doesnt realize that value hierarchies are not absolute
InfamousAnimal t1_jcc2jl9 wrote
The axe I like my beard and I throw axes for fun.
MisterRioE_Nigma t1_jceo4me wrote
There are more uses in life for an axe than for a razor. If you could have only one. Its the axe. Its a dumb meme. And you’re just looking for an arguement. But ill let you deal with those issues alone.
albertowtf t1_jcevanf wrote
I dont want to argue but i still you dont grasp that both are useful in their own way, since you are not alone in a planet, which by the way is another made up scenario by your own brain trying to fuck you up
The question is not which one do you pick because is more useful in the vacumm to survive on earth alone
Lets forget about the blade. You have a small house in the city and you have 100 axes already in your house. I offer you an old one for free. Do you still pick it up?
Its the same axe you would had wanted in your island alone. Why you dont want it now?
Context matter and both are useful in their own way. My escenario is as made up as your alone in an island one
If we restrict this to realistic scenarios, I would argue that practically nobody has found themselves alone stranded in an island and at least 20% of the population shave every day
This is probably an useless argument because you still think that the axe is always better no matter what and its a shame, because you are discarding the blade every time and makeing blades feel bad, but in reality if a surgeon has to cut me, i rather he is very good with his blade even if he has never touched an axe
GelbeForelle t1_jcbvahs wrote
Idk, you need the razor to use the razor blade properly. Also, you can probably just buy a blade in the city. Unless this was part of the metaphor, I really don't know anymore
Akai1up t1_jcbqjte wrote
Challenge accepted!
FoundationOfFarts t1_jcbt6av wrote
haha
demonya99 t1_jcbqml8 wrote
All this tells me is that the meme maker never held a sharp axe.
TheLazyHippy t1_jcbn6d8 wrote
Ummm, literally type in axe barber on YouTube. You can most certainly cut hair with one
-Reader91- t1_jcbiwo7 wrote
And I am as blunt as a horseshoe.
StillSundayDrunk t1_jcckqqi wrote
This made me think of an equally "meh" motivational tripe: "Some things in life were made to be down trodden and stepped on every day of their lives. And those are some of the finest horeshoes" or some other stupid repeatable dribble.
-Reader91- t1_jce5bx6 wrote
Lol, thats hilarious. Nah, the greatest purpose a horseshoe can have is to be thrown through a window in an act of selfish revenge.
saikrishnav t1_jcbpu5f wrote
But you can kill a human with both.
trynagetfitforsummer t1_jcbt70v wrote
What are you gonna do with your razorblade? ,Shave my balls to death ?
saikrishnav t1_jcc118y wrote
Do you really think getting your balls shaved with above razor blade directly is a dunk at me?
trynagetfitforsummer t1_jcc28hv wrote
You got offended for no reason
I'm saying what are you gonna do with a razor blade to kill someone because it's weak and I used me as an example
saikrishnav t1_jcc6x78 wrote
"Offended"? - not sure what makes you think that?
trynagetfitforsummer t1_jcc779f wrote
You immediately thought I was dunking you , immediately thought I'm being aggressive
Man I was just saying a joke about how razor blades can't kill shit
saikrishnav t1_jcc7kix wrote
Nope, dunk doesn't necessarily mean aggressibe, just that you are trying to make a counter point to beat my argument - since we are talking online.
trynagetfitforsummer t1_jcc8sxc wrote
I'm not rly tryna do anything It was a joke
Yk when someone could say to a weak person "what are you gonna do flick me to death ?"
So it's the same
saikrishnav t1_jccdntq wrote
Okay.
[deleted] t1_jcc0v2z wrote
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redditnathaniel t1_jcbpv9u wrote
Low-Feedback-3403 t1_jcbyw4l wrote
Cant_Find_My_Cat t1_jcc5kdx wrote
What if they’re not wearing shoes?
Royal_Tumbleweed_910 OP t1_jcc5wu1 wrote
Compliment their toes then 🤣
Paterculus523 t1_jcbm8zr wrote
If I don’t look down, I overlook them. Then they feel left out.
lostincryptospace t1_jcbn07w wrote
It can chop the head
Candid_Ashma t1_jcbn96r wrote
Utter bullshit lol You can cut a tree with a razor blade. Felling one is time consuming tho.
If you ever had an axe you'd know that you can definitely cut hair. If not you can sharpen them to cut hair, because it's fucking metal....
[deleted] t1_jcbql79 wrote
double bitted axe, one razor blade sharp for roots, the other for wood.
Limp_Distribution t1_jcbs2ab wrote
Nice shoes
HappyHighwayman t1_jcbsn3y wrote
I’m super Motivated by inanimate objects doing their unpaid jobs
aimerj t1_jcbyxnz wrote
Both could cut thru a throat FWIW
rjsheine t1_jcbzh0y wrote
This is terrible
Thesujman t1_jcc0i7m wrote
Actually an ax can cut hair
StillSundayDrunk t1_jccksru wrote
It can cut many hairs at the same time even!
sdlhak t1_jcc185k wrote
an Axe can't cut hair, but can cut a head.
ReaganRebellion t1_jcc1rls wrote
If you can't shave your arm hair with your axe, it's not sharp enough
ZanderPinguBrownie t1_jcc27le wrote
What if you're a man with a fork in a world of soup?
ruckdraconis t1_jcc286w wrote
Yet both can kill a man if used properly
Stsberi97 t1_jcc2cm1 wrote
I don’t know man I seen a dude cutting hair with an axe here on Reddit.
ShruteFarms4L t1_jcc2z9v wrote
Both wrong
arnulfus t1_jcc4jxf wrote
But what if you're a dull, disposable razorblade?
OJSimpsons t1_jcc5aah wrote
A sharp axe could definitely cut hair, I've seen it. I bet you can cut a tree with a razor blade too, although it would take a lot of time.
NotOfYourKind3721 t1_jcc5ofz wrote
This reminds of another quote I picked up in rehab. “The same water that softens the potato gardens the egg.” Just a few words on circumstances and being made of different stuff, it’s one of my favorites
[deleted] t1_jcc666u wrote
Yeah, but some mfs are dull blades for sure
sanchonumerouno t1_jcc71xn wrote
Harrumph 🙌
Chillynuggets t1_jcc76ri wrote
I bet you a razor blade could cut a tree. Maybe not chop it down but cut it yes.
DanteRex t1_jcc796l wrote
Pfft they never met a flat earther or a conservative or a fascist. Some people are just born to be looked down upon.
uglyduckling81 t1_jcc85x2 wrote
I'm pretty tall, so I look down on most people.
It's fair, though, because short people are shit.
Acceptable-Debt5037 t1_jcbuoo7 wrote
And I thought I was dumb
TheoJaggy t1_jcc8vfs wrote
Both are useless, just use fire
MartianActual t1_jcc932k wrote
The axe forgets but the tree remembers.
pedestrianpinniped t1_jcc9a8t wrote
Axes can and should be shaving sharp, WAHT.
TactlessTerrorist t1_jcca3rb wrote
Fuck wait, I’ve been cutting my hair wrong all these years??
Hugh_Jampton t1_jccb629 wrote
People don't have a unique purpose. They're just people.
Also axes cut hairs
[deleted] t1_jccdfnu wrote
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Eurymemdon t1_jcceg93 wrote
solartem t1_jccehey wrote
Or helping them up if they've stumbled
Jai137 t1_jcceuip wrote
Damn Daniel!
kwenchana t1_jccf2yu wrote
You can probably sharpen an axe to be razor sharp lol
RoboOverlord t1_jccg4xl wrote
Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful.
theelephant7 t1_jccghku wrote
What if I want to be both?
Muridious t1_jccgpcs wrote
True. But they're both useless if they're dull.
Metalt_ t1_jcchj78 wrote
Fuckin stupid
mr-curry t1_jccicn8 wrote
i’m weak and dull, but i can definitely cut myself
Vrazel106 t1_jccijav wrote
Well this is pointless you can cut hair with an axe
starchington t1_jccjvb7 wrote
Of course! Yes! From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!
[deleted] t1_jccl8sm wrote
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Eaton2288 t1_jccls1y wrote
You can cut hair with a gardening hose by the way. If your interested look up “LA Beast garden hose” on YouTube.
XMETA_DUKE t1_jcclsb5 wrote
Each person has a purpose and a specific function.
Thanks, Karl.
Abraarukuk t1_jccm40y wrote
Axe can cut hair with head
Earthguy69 t1_jccmaef wrote
/r/cringe
Recoveringpig t1_jccmhin wrote
I can cut hair with an ax and a tree with a razor but that’s not why I look down on everyone, it’s cause I’m 6’2.
OneHumanPeOple t1_jcco8a6 wrote
Everyone is a blade
Falith t1_jccoi0z wrote
There is most def something like a dull razor.
thecoolerllcoolJ t1_jccomv1 wrote
I always liked never judge a shark and a monkey on how well they both climb a tree.
ArtyMann t1_jccopgw wrote
you can cut hair with an axe, you just need the right angle
InvaderZimbo t1_jccp1y3 wrote
I guarantee you an axe can cut hair
New-Difference9684 t1_jccp6ra wrote
and that’s why lumberjacks have beards
[deleted] t1_jccp9lz wrote
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xombz t1_jccpfoi wrote
I get what you're trying to say, but the comparison doesn't quite work.
Classically, it's don't judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree. I don't remember the exact wording.
An axe can be sharpened to a very sharp point. Aside from that, it has the mass to cut most things. Increase the mass enough on the razor head and it will guarantee to take down a tree.
Dutchtdk t1_jccpwj4 wrote
Wacht me
Seattleshouldhaverun t1_jccqe17 wrote
Fun fact. You can absolutely cut hair with an axe. You just might not like what else gets cut.
Maiq_Da_Liar t1_jccr5x3 wrote
Yea but what if i'm a dull razor blade?
tannknekker t1_jccs2rt wrote
A good way to test if your axe is sharp is shave some arm hairs
[deleted] t1_jccskw2 wrote
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[deleted] t1_jcctho8 wrote
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zebrahdh t1_jccui6m wrote
“I’m bad at sharpening my ax” get motivated.
[deleted] t1_jccum7l wrote
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lcrickett4 t1_jcd46l2 wrote
Sorry now I am just imagining the carnage of someone trying to cut a hair on someones head.
Proper_Mortgage_1538 t1_jcx9r80 wrote
always don't compare your self to others cause' just like in the image we have a different purpose in life no matter how old you are, the money you have in your pocket, or the way live us, we have a purpose in life
[deleted] t1_jcbhqdt wrote
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cappsthelegend t1_jcbgfll wrote
You can definitely cut hair with an axe