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TKCerbs t1_j9oxy80 wrote

5 kids at 33 wow. I’m 38 and still haven’t figured out if I want one..

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eloel- t1_j9pbd3t wrote

>5 kids at 31 wow

Not that 5 kids at 33 is that much less wow (5 kids of any sort is 5 too many), but it's 33.

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ExistentialDreadness t1_j9ozv4c wrote

Same. I mean, who really actually wants to bring a child into this mess?

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DukeVerde t1_j9q21y3 wrote

Its' called adoption, for those already in this mess.

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9pgc8b wrote

The trick is to completely ignore reality, replace that part of your brain with television or religion, and become very selfish. This all seems to be correlated pretty directly with number of children.

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Derpsauce1337 t1_j9qbqbi wrote

Ah yes the selfishness of.. not wanting to bring someone into poverty when there is no clear way out?

Not wanting to bring someone into the world who is completely dependent on me when I already struggle with mental health and absolutely cannot take care of them to the degree I would want to?

yes, selfish

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9qcxze wrote

You’re….. agreeing with me.

What’s highly correlated with religious fundamentalism? Catholics aren’t known for their tiny single child families.

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Derpsauce1337 t1_j9qdb9o wrote

Ah yes I see now, I thought you were going the other way with it, but the religion should have clued me in more

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Derpsauce1337 t1_j9qdck0 wrote

Ah yes I see now, I thought you were going the other way with it, but the religion should have clued me in more

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discattho t1_j9qcsmd wrote

pretty sure he's saying that people who ignore those mainstream issues and don't care about other people, including their own offspring, are the ones who have a lot of kids.

I don't agree, but that was his point.

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Derpsauce1337 t1_j9qd5q6 wrote

Ah I can definitely see that now, thanks for clarifying!

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[deleted] t1_j9pysrk wrote

[deleted]

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9qd6uv wrote

Glad we have kind hearted people like you to put people like me in their place.

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[deleted] t1_j9qejjv wrote

[deleted]

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DuskyDay t1_j9qg2yb wrote

They are, in fact, selfish.

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[deleted] t1_j9qgyxl wrote

[deleted]

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losprimera t1_j9r3kgp wrote

wait, youre saying that people have kids explicitly to prop up the economy?

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[deleted] t1_j9r6k7d wrote

[deleted]

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losprimera t1_j9rag8w wrote

i do. im just clarifying if its explicit. That means im asking if ppl have children with the intent to prop up the economy.

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[deleted] t1_j9rbwat wrote

[deleted]

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losprimera t1_j9snr7n wrote

well, u were arguing witht the other dude about motives. he argued that havin kids was selfish. It was a surprisingly nuanced answer, because there are, afaik, two possible claims here. Either its A) the desire for conception is selfish (especially if its an instinctual desire), or B) the outcome is undesirable (e.g. an insecure future for the child). Ofc, you brought in a completely different argument that it props up an economy and failed to address the above two claims directly, but the curious thing is that selfishness and self-serving principles are very much part of the incentives of a free economy, so really there isnt a point of contention between you and him. thats why I wanted to clarify and see if you were aware that you had been arguing a strawman.

0

TwistedMetalGear t1_j9s5aqu wrote

What you explain is a nice benefit of continuing the human race, but nobody really thinks "hmm, I'm worried about the future state of the economy, therefore I'm gonna have kids to prop it up."

1

DuskyDay t1_j9qkjh3 wrote

> So everyone with kids is selfish? Doesn’t matter that those kids will literally run the economy and society and make sure the infrastructure is there to support you when you’re old?

The problem is that there are too many kids. Only some of them would be necessary.

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[deleted] t1_j9qlt89 wrote

[deleted]

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DuskyDay t1_j9quejn wrote

It doesn't matter which ones. There should be much less of them. I don't see why is this simple point so complicated for you.

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9qgc3p wrote

Oh Lordy, thank ya for settin me a-straight. I see the light! Oh how I’ve wronged! Shower me with forgiveness and I shall neva err agin!

Also when you put quotes around something, that usually means it’s to indicate a quote. As in, something that was previously said or written. Not a paraphrasing. But yknow, we’re all learning!

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[deleted] t1_j9qi6e2 wrote

[deleted]

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9ql4ra wrote

I’ll be in good company! Thanks friend!

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[deleted] t1_j9qm2jl wrote

[deleted]

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9qnfwe wrote

I hope you’re raising your kids with a better attitude than you have.

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[deleted] t1_j9qoham wrote

[deleted]

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I_Got_Jimmies t1_j9qp45t wrote

Ok I’ll speak your language then.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂

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Bath t1_j9qlfgf wrote

My thoughts exactly, I'd have kids in an ideal world but not in this world

1

capresesalad1985 t1_j9p5h9x wrote

Omg I’m turning 38 in a month and I feel the pressure to make a decision. I just got married last year and we know we want them, but I wish I had another 5 years to “grow up”

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codq t1_j9qipl3 wrote

Do it now, in five years, you’ll be five years older.

Trust me, you don’t want to be wrangling a toddler when you’re old—and you’ll never be younger than you are right now.

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JustADutchRudder t1_j9r4ca4 wrote

Or, do it 10 years from now and rent out your basement to a young couple for free nanny work.

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Fool_Apprentice t1_j9qvgvc wrote

I'll make this easy for you. You will regret it either way.

That said, you'll love your kids even if it was a stupid decision (and it is, it always is). If you don't have kids, then you will spend your time wondering what might have been because you will be too idealistic to realize that you made the right choice and you'll go to your grave sad.

My advice is make the wrong choice and have kids. You will regret it.

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Sucks_to_be_u24 t1_j9r4lh2 wrote

Umm that’s pretty broad generalizations of childfree people(we don’t all sit there with regret growing older ) . Having kids is not for everyone but I agree everyone who wants kids should definitely do it when they’re little younger .

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QuantumHope t1_j9rq749 wrote

Plus it isn’t always a choice. Infertility is real.

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capresesalad1985 t1_j9r6xhy wrote

I fully appreciate this. Your right that either choice you make…you can’t help but wonder what the other path would have held.

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Buddha473ml t1_j9r86jb wrote

The grass is always greener on the other side.

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FarginSneakyBastage t1_j9rw945 wrote

You just have to remind yourself that you're living the life of the you that didn't make your choices, and they're really envious of you.

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BalotellisMoustache t1_j9ri9pc wrote

I love this because it really summarizes how I feel about it even though I'm in the dumb idealistic age lol. When I finished undergrad in my early 20s I was like damn, do I want to work really hard on developing my career (which in my field of interest would include significant international travel) and end up being an old dad, or do I want to set limits on how much stress I want now and find more manageable albeit less rewarding career paths in order to focus on becoming a father. I feel like in my relationship that starting a family will be expected much sooner than my late 30s, maybe even late 20s and honestly it feels like the right choice. I think it's going to make life so much harder but I think we'll be okay and it will be worth it in the long run. I sometimes feel the pressure to not have kids or to wait but it just feels like such an integral part of who we want to be (without kids we both feel like we'd be wondering as you said) that if anything I feel like we can grow more out of it than get drained by it overall, especially the younger we decide to do it.

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Nero_PR t1_j9qan6b wrote

28, probably won't have one any time soon.

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squirlz333 t1_j9rlv1s wrote

Plot twist he actually had 6 kids at that age, but one wanted to be a youtuber.

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superx89 t1_j9sclnu wrote

You’re missing out!

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TKCerbs t1_j9sfq4p wrote

We’ve been trying for almost a year, it might be too late.

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Zeptojoules t1_j9t0xu3 wrote

Just do it! What's the worst that could happen shrugs

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MoistDitto t1_j9nzwyz wrote

I failed first one on the list already

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iamnogoodatthis t1_j9o4dje wrote

Eh, I've skipped the first 3 so far (but do have the last). Life's pretty good - see where it takes you, work for the things you want but don't take it too hard if things don't quite work out, there are always other avenues.

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hairhelprequest t1_j9pkdbj wrote

Why would you want to get married so young anyways in todays dating market. I mean it gets easier as a man once your more established and you can attract higher quality women. A man isn't born with any real value in the dating market he must create his value.

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headphonz t1_j9q8ctn wrote

Bruh..I know people in their late 30s and 40s. it doesn't get easier at all. But then again, if you're only money motivated, you probably won't care.

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gentian_red t1_j9qaak1 wrote

Incel huh

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hairhelprequest t1_j9qk6qf wrote

How am I an incel, I'm just stating my experience and relaying what I've heard from just about every single man I've ever talked to regarding the subject. Dating gets easier once your more established as a man. Wealthier/ higher status men have an easier time dating, what is that now considered misogynistic these days?

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ViciousVeggieViking t1_j9ntviv wrote

I dropped out of college at 20. I never learned how to manage my ADHD because I was able to squeeze through high school and because of that I was completely unprepared for college. I joined the military a few years later because I was terrified of not having a plan or direction. I have spent the last 9 years doing that but along the way I also found myself as a person and know how to manage tasks and be the person I need to be. I should graduate with a BS in 2025 at 34. I still have a ton of work ahead of me, but I’m going to get that degree if it kills me.

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Throwaway_3734 t1_j9ob1z8 wrote

Omg I too dropped out of college due to unmanaged adhd

Also congratulations on your degree

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DasUberPretzel t1_j9p6u2h wrote

Similar situation for me; I was in college but had unmanaged ADHD and ASD. College was brutal, but now that I'm older (late 30’s) I understand myself and my abilities better, and I'm doing great and should hopefully graduate next year.

It’s never too late, some things just take extra time.

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cannibalisticbiscuit t1_j9tpuzc wrote

Same here. Undiagnosed/unaware ASD until two years ago, I took years off of school before that, then went back last year with accommodations and doing much better.

Accommodations make a huge difference for me, I’ll never understand why people push their gd chairs back so loudly during a test. Get me away from these mfers and in a darker room with a white noise machine, boom, tests are 10x easier to bear

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DasUberPretzel t1_j9ucmiq wrote

I fidget and stim a lot while doing pretty much anything, so accommodations work both ways. Get away from people, so I’m less anxious, and my stimming isn’t going to bother them.

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cannibalisticbiscuit t1_j9ucwzq wrote

Exactly. I can bring like three of my stim toys into the testing room, use them and no one cares. It feels like a game changer

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ZFAdri t1_j9o3zoi wrote

This is so inspiring to hear as hs senior with adhd and no real direction in life yet it gives me faith that I’ll find happiness

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b0x3r_ t1_j9qxmzu wrote

I got my degree at age 32 after doing classes nights and weekends and a full time construction job during the day. The extra time and struggle that went into made it so much more satisfying. Graduation was one of the proudest days of my life. I cried when I finally got to hand that degree to my mom. Keep up the hard work, it’s worth it!

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ViciousVeggieViking t1_j9r1eo3 wrote

Thanks dude! I’ve been chipping away at it and this summer should be ready to get out and go back full time.

Congrats on yours, that had to have taken an insane amount of work and you deserve to be proud of yourself.

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Pollen_Bee t1_j9piviv wrote

I'm in that boat. Haven't joined the army yet though. Still trying for the 3rd time to get my degree.

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ViciousVeggieViking t1_j9pl11b wrote

I joined the chillitary honestly since I’m in the Coast Guard. I don’t think I would have lasted 9 years in the army haha.

But you got this, I believe in you!

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Nero_PR t1_j9qb6ke wrote

ADHD on college is a bitch. I just learned that I have it and everything started to make so much more sense. I need to get things sorted out before I feel it's much too late.

You're an inspiration for me to keep on going, man.

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nnnm_33 t1_j9oqj4l wrote

Lost me at “age 23 married” on a “you’re never too old” post

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xtrimmer t1_j9p5vkc wrote

You think that's something? Assuming he had 5 children with the same woman he presumably married... She'd carry and give birth on average once every 2 years, if we exclude twins, triplets...

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eloel- t1_j9pbme2 wrote

Also excluding the potential that the babies started before marriage, but yeah, she was basically pregnant for %40 of her 20s.

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Zoltie t1_j9p5yx0 wrote

The only impressive thing here is the graduating part, everything else seems reasonable or too young.

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RockingFlower t1_j9nu9kw wrote

My mom graduated nursing school on her 50th birthday. never too late to find your happiness

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xoxoanonymiss t1_j9rt9z8 wrote

Congratulations to your mom on completing nursing school, period! It's a brutal program to be in. I just graduated from nursing school at the age of 36. I seriously have never cried so much in my life until I went into the nursing program.

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SenAtsu011 t1_j9o1e50 wrote

A family friend became a doctor at 60 after spending over 30 years being a stay-at-home housewife raising 3 children. It truly is never too late if you have the time, energy, and dedication.

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PulsarGlobal t1_j9ol959 wrote

What country did it happen at?

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SenAtsu011 t1_j9onzsq wrote

Norway.

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PulsarGlobal t1_j9oolz0 wrote

I see, in the US it would take a few more years to get through residency and at that point it would be retirement time, so not sure if Norway is different and your friend can be useful as a doctor.

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SenAtsu011 t1_j9oq6c6 wrote

Yeah, I don't know more than that story, really. I highly doubt she could have worked as a doctor for a very long time, and this was 20-30 years ago, so she's definitely retired now. From what I was told she mostly did it because it was a childhood dream of hers.

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VukKiller t1_j9oe0yw wrote

gif

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GrevilleApo t1_j9pb0h4 wrote

They won't be able to collect on his debt. Stickin it to the man

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PulsarGlobal t1_j9ol5d8 wrote

Waste of resources in my opinion, but there will be defenders of his dream 🤦🏻‍♂️

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VukKiller t1_j9olc8v wrote

What dream? The whole point of college is to get a head start in the field you want to work at.

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DulceEtDecorumEst t1_j9p4w9d wrote

There is also an emotional/self actualizing component too.

Having a college degree makes you feel like you are part of the edumacated people of the world.

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ccx941 t1_j9pbyye wrote

I agree. If you take up resources to go to college and do nothing with the degree you’re wasteful.

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Flaccid_snake01 t1_j9nvh38 wrote

Man I’m 21 and I felt like I missed my chance at uni. Hopefully I enter soon.

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affennlight t1_j9prxoz wrote

BRUH. Who told you that lie? You head off when you’re good at ready.

Met a 31 year old graduating senior in my major—she said she was actually GLAD she started late, because she now has the emotional maturity to handle the stress that comes with it. At 18, it isn’t all that easy.

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enzovrlrd t1_j9oyhkw wrote

Not to rain on his parade but this reminded of 16 tons:

"You dig 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt"

Good for him that he's definitely not going to rely on that diploma

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nsa_reddit_monitor t1_j9qjcvk wrote

Debt generally dies with the debtor. So it's basically not a problem. Make the minimum payments for a few years, then just die.

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GrevilleApo t1_j9paotw wrote

I wanna do that. Get a super expensive degree when I am old af and then die with my debt so no one can get the money.

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ChrisGrin t1_j9orch3 wrote

Ok and now what

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nsa_reddit_monitor t1_j9qj3dm wrote

Well, he won't need to worry about paying his student loans in a couple of years.

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The_Celtic_Chemist t1_j9qgw0x wrote

Exactly, does he think he's going to take that diploma into a high paying position straight out of college? He almost certainly won't make enough to pay off what he spent on college before he dies, even if he somehow managed not to go into massive debt for this, because he started too late.

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kumar_ny t1_j9o7rds wrote

5 kids in 2 years ! That’s impressive

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MorkSkogen666 t1_j9oi121 wrote

That not how it works lol

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keener91 t1_j9oune4 wrote

I lol'ed. looks like the poster above also needs to go back to College.

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capresesalad1985 t1_j9p54kz wrote

As a college professor - I LOVE having older students in my classes. They usually bring so much flavor and different perspectives to discussions having experienced more life than their 18-22 y/o counterparts.

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francostein124 t1_j9pbapn wrote

As a 45yo returning student, I'm happy to hear that. I had pretty much written off college as something that I would never be able to afford, but then the state of New Mexico decided to make college free to all their residents (The Opportunity Scholarship). Honestly, I had no idea that being a career welder prepared me so well for chemistry and mathematics.

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Corkiey t1_j9pg112 wrote

Companies be like "why is this there 31 year gap in your resume"

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iamnogoodatthis t1_j9o4jcq wrote

I like the overall vibe, but find the exact wording annoying - I mean, some things can be done much later than you'd think, but not all. At 70 you're almost certainly not going to get pregnant, become an olympic athlete or embark on a completely new career that'll take you to CEO of a major company.

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ro0ibos2 t1_j9on7uf wrote

For me, the wholesomeness about this was that he was able to live a fulfilling life and support a family of 5 without a college degree, something many of us were wrongfully told was necessary. I assume that his pursuit of college degree was merely for fulfilling intellectual curiosity (or maybe he also thought of himself as a failure until he had one).

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NotAThrowaway1453 t1_j9ovyld wrote

I think people understand that general motivational things like this don’t literally apply to every single situation.

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CranberryJuice47 t1_j9r26pv wrote

If getting a college degree is just a personal goal of yours then great, but if you want the degree for career advancement then I'd argue that you miss out on most of that if you wait until you're well past retirement age.

1

Ensignae t1_j9rglaa wrote

I'm more motivated by how good he looks at 70, tbh

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ADULTalyte t1_j9o9b33 wrote

He was only able to make it because they finally made a proper hangover recover drink. After all his keg stands and all night ragers he just needed an ADULTalyte, and he was able to make it to class feeling fine and dandy. If you want to be a college grad one day make sure to take the crucial first step and invest in some ADULTalyte

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YuuHikari t1_j9oy9wp wrote

At one point, I really do want to go back to college and graduate but our family just really can't afford it right now

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Double_Worldbuilder t1_j9p7mas wrote

Now that is just nice. Legal citizenship, having a family, achieving a life goal.

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Aeropar t1_j9qbtla wrote

He must've paid cash.

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aokaf t1_j9ri3uv wrote

Married at 23 with 5 kids but grandfather at 64?

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Barrelcopter t1_j9rwefb wrote

That’s what I’m talking about! Killin the game.

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Ronni_Z t1_j9s95lt wrote

WooooHoooo!!! 😀

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forgotten_tomato t1_j9p9c2t wrote

He didn't waste his time after becoming a citizen!

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meheez t1_j9pgxu2 wrote

you can do anything, but stop presenting college as some sort of pinnacle achievement lol

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bigred91224 t1_j9po2jk wrote

I will always upvote this.

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qstar_inc t1_j9pozey wrote

Me at 20: Graduation isn't necessary!
This guy at 70: ....

I mean, why even bother?

1

sdavila16 t1_j9psqqh wrote

Congratulations!!!! What an amazing achievement and true sign of perseverance! 👏

1

scubawankenobi t1_j9pti9n wrote

Re: Never too late for anything

​

Well, technically speaking it's not a great time to attempt starting a new family by having your own children.

1

Juanit_o t1_j9ptnil wrote

I’m trying to start a new career at 34

1

VitaminnCPP t1_j9ptq1g wrote

Bruh i am 25 and still unmarried. Am i too late.

1

Ethelenedreams t1_j9pvps3 wrote

I can’t afford that college money debt.

1

LettuceBChopped t1_j9q05gp wrote

Yeah…41…been single for 10 years straight. It actually is too late.

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Lonely_Cosmonaut t1_j9q0pdi wrote

When I do it at 29 I won’t get a cool post!

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VauxsHorse t1_j9q81iz wrote

5 kids in two years, bet his wife hoped he was less motivated

1

narataveras t1_j9q91ik wrote

Is this a college ad? Widening the target audience. Smart.

1

jerflash t1_j9qa592 wrote

Yes it is too late… 70 is too late to do anything with a college degree. Hell most 22 year olds never use their degree lol

1

MijuTheShark t1_j9qdach wrote

And that's the story of how we inherited Grandpa's Student debt while we were in kindergarten.

1

airadvantage t1_j9qfrvg wrote

Pfff overachiever. No, but this is great to see, it's never too late to do anything. Besides, eat the spoiled fruit in the fridge.

1

debby821 t1_j9qgkxx wrote

Congratulations sir

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Netroth t1_j9qhzlr wrote

Within one year he fathered five children? Different mothers or quintuplets?

1

Donkey-brained_man t1_j9qi2m3 wrote

I'm almost 40 and out of those things I'm only a citizen. Da fuq am I doing?

1

wyzapped t1_j9qietu wrote

And at age 71 - sign maker!

1

shaneroneill t1_j9qntrr wrote

I hope he never pays his student loans back

1

Mobiusixxi t1_j9qq9q4 wrote

Big edu claims another victim.

1

Rainmaker825 t1_j9qqkku wrote

I graduated college when I was 35.

1

Weak-Cancel1230 t1_j9qtukq wrote

well that was his problem.... 5 kids by 33. yeah could have made better choices

1

WolfOfPort t1_j9qulnb wrote

Nah that's pretty late. Woohoo graded now i should be retired instead of trying to find a job.

1

hanyasaad t1_j9qzo6h wrote

My brain stopped working for a second and thought his wife pumped out 5 kids in 2 years.

1

pwn3dbyth3n00b t1_j9r26xn wrote

33 and a father of 5? Feel like that's way too late for me and I'm not even 30 yet.

1

ConcussedOrangotang t1_j9r30x6 wrote

That's all nice and good that he got a degree at 70, but for what purpose? Generally people get a degree in order to work in a certain field. I don't expect our man here to do much of any work anymore.

1

TiptopBoppo t1_j9r3dw0 wrote

This guy just woke up at 33 years old and decided to have 5 kids in one year

1

slikrviktr t1_j9r9rhx wrote

Now put “paid off school debts” below it

1

special_circumstance t1_j9rcalx wrote

Hmm how would the look for me?

✅ age 0.01 US CITIZEN (wow, cool! I did that!)

✅ age 26 college grad (dang I’m good!)

✅ age 28 married (oh wow, accomplishment!)

✅ age 38 divorced (that counts right?)

✅ still age 38 — father of nobody. (Winning!)

Actually screw this. That guys list is fucking garbage.

1

MMTP t1_j9reo41 wrote

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

1

purchankruly t1_j9rufrc wrote

It most certainly is too late.

1

Sereddix t1_j9rvjvo wrote

Phew. I’m 31 and was worried i was too old to be a grandfather. Thanks for this!

1

par112169 t1_j9rvlsg wrote

Graduated at 70, IK that it's a good accomplishment but what is he going to do with a degree at 70?

1

Substantial-Sound-98 t1_j9sbue5 wrote

He was probably in it for the process of completing the degree, not for doing something with it afterward. Some people love going to school.

1

teepring t1_j9rxctv wrote

None of that shit are achievements except college grad. Bunch of ppl out there squirting out kids with zero education, its just back in this 70 year old's day, you could do it with unskilled labor wage. Nowadays people would turn their head to the side and ask you why you thought having 5 kids by 33 was a good idea.

1

watermelondodgeball t1_j9s3p1z wrote

Now all he has to do is become a doctor to make his parents proud.

1

Pajamadrunk t1_j9sawo0 wrote

His kids where at least 31 before they had children

1

deneviere t1_j9sgob4 wrote

This dude does NOT look 70!

1

thefastball530 t1_j9sijt1 wrote

What the fuck is the point of graduating college at that point lol.

1

3PleOg_100 t1_j9skb7g wrote

Im trying to get ma citizenship; who here wants do make some extra cash? Women only

1

bogusjohnson t1_j9qolq3 wrote

This page is the opposite of it’s meant to be.

0

paigeragepage t1_j9revy7 wrote

Sorry but it you have debt. It’s a stupid decision. Who’s going to hire you at 70?

0

coffeequeen0523 t1_j9oromj wrote

r/awesome, r/menaregood, r/dadsandmenareheroes, r/upliftingnews

−4

villagewinery t1_j9p1hq0 wrote

People who turn life milestones into checklists are assholes.

I read a guy's description of his goals recently and it went like this:

Goals achieved in 2022

  1. Graduated college.
  2. Got first job offer.
  3. Got engaged.
  4. Moved to new city.

Granted he is an engineer so not the most enlightened individual. But I wonder what his new wife thinks about being a "goal achieved" or the fact that she is 3rd on the list... And one step above "rented a U-Haul"

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