For work, I write down everything I want to do each day and then check off the things I actually did. Keeping tasks bite-sized, like an hour or less, increases the chance atask can be completed. Finally, when its time for your parents to decide your fate, you can share the notebook, so that even if you didn't reach all of their demands, you can demonstrate you now are at least organized and moving in the right direction.

Holy shit, thank you so much. I’m going to start using this today. Thank you!

Sometimes a kick in the ass is a step forward.

Accurate, I know this is their way of supporting me right now but holy fuck I’m scared

I’ve used an idea similar to this. It also lets me get all the clutter I stress about internally onto a paper so I can “free up” that space to not ruminate. Make a checklist of EVERYTHING you need to do, even “Call to make an appointment” because the simple task of checking it off will make you feel like you’re accomplishing things. Good luck!

Sometimes when things seems disastrous, we are catapulted into new seasons of life. Maybe you are in the process of making huge progress in your life, despite how painful growth can feel. Rooting for you.

You guys are so helpful and kind. I actually just went and got a little notebook that can fit in my pocket so I can do this quite literally everywhere I go.

Thank you so much. Growing pains right now are very real and very difficult to get past. But everyone who I know is supporting me (even the hard asses in my life) gives me a little hope.

OP you got this.

Fix your meds and do your shifts. That’s all you gotta do.

If you are struggling with getting to appointments look up the posts here on tricks and tips to get up and out. You got this/

Thank you! I just gotta keep my head on straight.

And you know what’s great? It’s only 48 days. That’s a month and a half. Piece of cake.

Yeah, my stepmom negotiated those extra two weeks for me. Really gonna help

Pressure bursts pipes or it makes diamonds and I'm sure you'll shine forever!!! 💎

Just take a deep breath and do what you need to do. Fear is the mind killer

Best of luck. 48 days is a lot longer than it probably feels right now. As others have pointed out, getting organized with task lists will help. I would also suggest writing down longer term goals, if that's not overwhelming. Write longer term goals down somewhere you'll see them a lot, it'll help with focus and keep you on task. Then, take baby steps to get to those bigger goals. You got this! 💪🏻🙏

Since your parents sound more like they are trying to be authoritarian than supportive, the first thing I want to ask is if you have someone in your life who can be an accountability buddy. Are you dating? Or do you have a supportive sibling/cousin/friend?

Sometimes when you have to do something difficult, like make a hard phone call, telling someone else you need to do it by 3PM and have them check in on you to make sure you did it helps motivate you to do it. They could also be the helpful/friendly person who actually sits with you, literally holds your hand, or comforts you as you do an unpleasant task.

Others have made some excellent points here, including making lists, and organizing for your own comfort and well-being. I want to add one other. You should not make these changes out of fear of your parents but for yourself. No matter what happens in April, YOU will be better if you've taken care of a few of these. Do it for YOU.

And frankly, living away from parents who treat you like this might be a blessing. Look at the silver lining; either way you are winning. I'm cheering for you.

Edit: Would love to know why this is getting downvoted.

You got this boss!

Don't worry

You can give yourself a small award after crossing off a few things off your list like for example you can play a video game for say 30 mins or go for a stroll for a bit as a reward for completing 3-5 tasks. This is if you get overwhelmed by the things you may have to do. Can help out a ton at times.

All the best op!

(Edit was for changing paragraphs and a few spellings)

You may just discover resilience in you that you do not know you have. Don't overthink it. I have heard people say to follow your feet, where the body goes, the mind will follow.

Make a routine that starts with an early morning shower and forward momentum. It will be difficult, but it will not break you.

​

> When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness.

Joseph Campbell

It's harder than it seems. Focus on keeping yourself accountable.

Are you spending time going out with friends drinking?

If so? Take a break from that.

No judgment my friend. But alcohol fucks up your energy, health, time, and motivation.

Although weed doesn't have the hangover, it can have some of the same effects on your body.

No judgment. These are practical considerations. If you're worried, consider making some short term concessions with yourself for the long term gains.

You got this. Do your best. Focus.

My daughter has severe anxiety and OCD. Her dad is quick to jump at “she’s hiding behind her mental health issues” whereas I understand bc I have anxiety and ocd however when I was coming up there was no such thing as social media and instant spread of information which DRASTICALLY worsens any anxiety based disorder. I would HIGHLY recommend deleting Instagram, tiktok,Snapchat and maybe even Twitter for at least 60 days. Write that in your notebook to show ur parents as part of the action plan as well and watch how much it helps 😘. Good luck

You under 24 and in the states? Then you fall under your parent’s insurance. Or did they change that legislation?

Look into the Bullet Journal method on YouTube. Simple and effective task and time management. Good luck to you!!

You can apply for state assistance also. Specifically Medicaid and food stamps. How else can we help you?

Get yourself a goal planner so you can accurately keep track of your duties! They have really great ones for cheap on Amazon. You’ve got this!

Was at a similar point with my son once. It was heartbreaking. I’m sure your parents want you to be successful and realize big changes don’t happen overnight. Maybe there are small things you can do to show them (and you) that you’re taking a different path. For him, we had him start with cleaning his room and making his bed everyday. There’s no finish line where your life is deemed “fixed”. Just focus on behaviors that move you in a better direction and one day you realize you’re in a much better place.

I am so sorry you’re going through this. You’ve gotten a lot of good and very valuable advice here, you should give it all consideration. Although, with that said, we did pretty much the same thing to my son. He has all the same issues (and more) that you are going through. He now tells me, five years later, it was one of the best things we could have done for him. He was scared also but it gave him confidence and accountability. It’s called “tough love” and believe me it’s hard as hell and heartbreaking to do that to your child.

Luckily no, I don’t use any substances that aren’t prescribed to me. But I do need to stop my short term rewards from getting all my time.

Thank you, I will. It’s really encouraging to see the parents turning out under this post.

They do, I know that they love me but they’ve just run out of ways to support me. I’m trying to take it one task at a time, and avoid listening to the part of me that drags me into the pit.

Are you in the US and under 25 (or 26 maybe)? If so, taking away your health insurance is illegal. I'm not sure how to go about enforcing that, but talking to a lawyer might help.

It could save you if they decide to deprive healthcare from you. Which, by the way, is morally wrong for you parents to do do you.

Did your tough love involve taking away healthcare for someone with health problems? The other stuff seems like tough love to me.

The threat of taking away healthcare from someone who actively needs it and legally entitled to it is so extremely risky and, therefore, cruel. Medical care is a very different topic from everything else here. OP is at an age where her parents are legally required to provide health insurance coverage.

This is a good article.

5 Reasons Why You Should Use Fear As Motivation To Achieve Better Things (elitedaily.com)

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Remember, people are generally really f****** stupid and they manage just fine. You have some wits so im sure you can work it out and thrive.

If you're looking for shift work, write down 10 chores around the house you don't mind doing. Companies generally hire for these tasks.

I wouldn’t want to live anymore

I don’t need a thank you. I know they love me and care about me. They’re just scared if I’m not capable of getting my shit together now, adult life is gonna be impossible. I get it.

Once you start writing everything down and crossing them off when completed, you will feel in more control. It won’t seem so overwhelming anymore. You’ll be able to see your progress and be proud of yourself. Just keep moving forward. Fear can paralyze you but action can kick fear to the curb. Good luck. You can do this. If you start having doubts, talk with someone. Online, in person. Write back after you get going and let us know how you’re doing.

As people mentioned here: a note book.

Here’s my method: on a blank sheet of paper, write down everything in your head that has to get done. Big or little. Break down goals into sub goals. Add to it over a couple days. also the “getting things done” method has a GIANT checklist for every category of life, work, medical, etc. This list will be massive and crazy overwhelming. But it’s not in your head anymore. You have a blue print to who you want to be and how you want to act. Don’t forget this is a rough draft. Literally brain dump. Word vomit. This is your master list. I usually title mine fun things like “shitshow round up”.

Next, I have two methods to organize the brain dump depending on the type of work that needs to be done and how much help I have. I have crippling anxiety and ADHD so Prioritizing tasks is really difficult sometimes.

Method 1 (best for prioritizing help): Eisenhower matrix. This is a 2 x 2 matrix that is divided into urgent versus not urgent on one axis. The other axis is divided into important versus not important. The things that land in urgent and important will need to be done by you ASAP. Things that are important, but not urgent will need to be scheduled. If you have help, if something urgent but not important this is a task that doesn’t require your expertise or input in so go ahead and delegate it if you can. If you don’t have assistance, which it kind of sounds like they really want you to be independent, the order I do things is urgent and important, then I schedule everything, swing back around to the urgent but not important tasks and then complete the rest by schedule. The last category is not urgent and not important. Traditionally, this category is known as “delete it”. I can’t do that. It might not be important to me right now or life-threatening but it’s something still in my brain so I usually put this on a separate piece of paper for my next to do list.

Method 2 (best for categories, easier when things have clear priorities like for example, work has to be completed or you will be fired): for this method, I usually make large categories like chores, work, school, health, hobbies, tasks that I need to do for someone else. In a separate space I usually also put upcoming deadlines. For me usually work or school have things that are very urgent and I know that I prioritize them over things like hobbies that I would like to get done. The other two sections that I usually put on the page across from these categories are things to get done ASAP and things to get done this week. Then I just rewrite the task over on one of these lists. Repeat daily and weekly until the large list is gone.

Final step: cross things out as you go. Draw arrows by the check box if it is getting transferred to the next list.

I do this monthly (or try to). When I get really overwhelmed with things floating around in my head, I sit down and do this.

Some tips: if you try this, write the list tonight. All it takes is a pen and paper (I like dot paper). that way, any appointments you have to make you can do first thing tomorrow. (This may also mean researching things for said appointments like providers in network etc tonight). Have those numbers ready so that on break tomorrow you can call! Work will be easier to schedule around those appointments sooner rather than later so get that out of the way.

Final tip: when I was really going through it (studying for my medical school entrance exam+spring of senior year in college+finals+massive Competition that I worked like 300 hours for+then my grandpa died), I got a dry erase wall calendar that was 3 months for all important dates and crossing the days off one by one. When I was studying for my first board exam, I got extra large full stick post it notes and put like 60 on the wall, all marked with how many days till the exam, study material, and color coded for routine. I micromanaged the shit out of my life because when I’m anxious I need something to channel that energy into.

Okay, that’s all my advice about what works for me and how I manage my demons. also I love my meds. Those help too.

It’s okay to have fear, just keep moving forward scared. Get into action first then your feelings will follow. Doesn’t work the other way; can’t think yourself into feeling better.

If you need an accountability buddy, PM me too.

You can do this!!! ✊

Check. Lists. Checklists. They are your friend and a great prioritizer. Microsoft To-Do is highly functional and simple and cross platform (pc-android), and for Android, 7Zipper app has the best simplest to-do widget I've seen so far

It is going to be a struggle. Trust. I love my parents. But my mom did everything for me. Even as an adult she would come and wash dishes and help me clean up. Now she’s gone and Im doing everything. It’s crazy different. Im raising my kid to be more independent than I was.

I hope in these 48 days you gain some good long lasting habits.

It takes 28 days to form a habit. So just focus on consistency. You will be okay. I promise.

If you were my kid I would do the same. A Push and reality check is what some kids need.

Good Luck!!

Don’t be scared. Millions before you felt the same way. But they did nothing and ended up with shit lives.

You’re already making progress and you’ve still got 7 weeks to make even more!

Relax, be confident in yourself, and be honest with your family. It sounds like they care about you, and even this isn’t the best thing they could have done, it has given you the motivation to move forward with your life.

It also gives you little dopamine hits to cross stuff off the list, even if it’s small stuff. Just the check mark or cross out has an effect and can be motivating to do the next small thing and then the next.

Going off this, I also use a similar strategy. Every morning, I wake up and I write down everything I want to accomplish for the day. I really hold myself accountable to this also and it worked for me but shit ain’t gonna be easy man. You gotta want it. Once you complete that task, make sure to check it off. By the end of the day when everything is checked off, you’ll feel accomplished! Keep me updated man and let me know if you have any questions!

Yoga breathing and meditation 10 minutes a day

If you're procrastinating about something on your list that's fine do something else on your list instead of letting yourself do something meaningless... once you have crossed off enough things it won't seem so intimidating

This isn't a substitute for a paper journal, but in terms of helping my mood, I found the "Finch" app to be pretty good. Being able to vent within the app, and get encouragement, is really helpful.

You will be surprised what a profound impact forcing yourself to make your bed every morning makes in pulling your shit together

Get the audiobook Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins to help you with mindset

Try adding to your notebook in 24 days : talk to mom and dad about my progress.

A follow up check in at the half way showing them you're moving forward might mitigate some of the consequences- release some of the pressure on you.

Even if not, it will be good to show them. :)

Good luck OP. You got this.

Don’t hold back, purchase the largest dry erase board you can find. Write it all down, there’s nothing better than checking off a task you identified and completed (with proof).

Op I’ve been in your same shoes for the past two years almost. Had a sickness in the family and shit just totaled the whole situation. Thought about ending shit so many fuckin times. Scared shitless too. You just can’t give up OP I got out of my rut with very very hard work (12-15 hour days, 6 days a week, 7 when I could) and I still ain’t in a very comfortable position. One bad hit and I’m back to mandated 7 day work weeks. You gotta keep fighting bro hold on to the people you got and be straight with them and tell them they need to understand you gonna have to make shit happen and they need to try and support that plan. I will tell you one thing tho OP - and I don’t know if it’s gonna provide solace, but many, MANY Americans are livin through the same shit you and I am. Some to a lesser extent but many in the same if not worse shoes.

And sometimes it lurches you just far enough forward to fall face-first into mud, struggling to get your feet back under you.

[I also had parents who believed I was making excuses about my mental health. They gave me the choice of attending (a highly-competitive & brutally expensive) uni right away, or never. The impact of that crash-and-burn lasted literal decades. Right before the pandemic I was finally prescribed meds that work for me. Since then, I've literally had family members remark on the difference and apologize for not recognizing how debilitating my issues were.]

I think hard asses are an absolute necessity to have around. It's good to occasionally hear the things that people who would kill you with kindness wouldn't say.

It sounds like your parents are looking for reasons to kick you out. Housing insecurity is a huge stress which can damage your health and shorten your life.

That's a hell of a lot of pressure. If you don't mind my asking, what type of meds are you taking? Some of them can be superfluous and causing your problems. I know two people on Adderall who turned into fucking monsters, and had no memory of how scary they got. When they got off that shit, they became normal, sane human beings again.

Some "therapists" are simply in it for the money and hand out pills like fucking candy. Mind you, if you're talking about something like Serotonin reuptake inhibiters, that's a whole different ball of wax, and suddenly not taking them can make you quite dead.

If I were in your situation, I would set up a gameplan for getting my own place within a reasonable timeframe, and discuss it with my parents. Don't take shitty jobs you'll hate the rest of your life though. Get work that affords you a reasonable amount of self esteem.

Healthy food, regular exercise and adequate sleep can do amazing things for your mental well-being too, by the way.

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Even if you have mental health challenges, you can do what you have to do. It is not impossible. Work and contributing to finances really helped me when I was in a bad spot!

I was at a point where I was doing an intensive outpatient program for mental health but I still HAD to work the rest of the week so that I would not be, you know, homeless.

But, I found that because I had to get up mornings to work, take care of my pets, and participate in a community group, doing one thing led to another thing. I mean, I am already up and dressed, why not run an errand? Why not do some enrichment with my cats? I literally could not afford to ruminate or go down thinking rabbit holes or sit around all day in my room. So I didn’t.

Yes, I could have used more rest and better care, but I found that I accomplished more each day/meeting, had more small wins, and felt a bit better about myself than the other clients in the program, who often had nothing else to do in their lives but work on their mental health.

It ended up I left the program because I got a job, which was actually better for that aspect of my health than the treatment. (I am neurodivergent and lack some social skills/tend to make faux pas, which forced me to hold myself back from expressing myself fully in groups and caused flak with the counselor who could not understand my challenges. While on the other hand, a schedule, routine, and working in my field was a huge mental health lift for me).

Listen to your parents!! ♥️🙏

You can do it ! Get your shit done! Good luck!! ❤️🙏

I can't upvote this enough! Got a brain infection 7 years ago and now half of my skull is 3D printed. I have some short term memory loss amongst other medical issues as a result. After recovering, I immediately started a journal to note everything each day, and it has changed my life.

Cold shower

Eat

Get notebook, write everything down

Pause

​

Respect yourself. Think logically, go outside.

You deserve to be here, you were created.

Since you are created, you can simply turn into essence. You are your whole being.

​

Now transfer yourself through the aether, be magnetic to what life has to give.

​

Become the space.

​

If all this did not help, or you did not understand it. Try again.

​

Now, if it still did not work; Become nothing. You have lost.

​

Become the darkness and breathe into it, breathe it out.

​

Go outside, this is your new place. Get used to it and trust the instincts of your body.

Be aware of the triggers, the warnings and the falling feeling you will experience.

Do not worry. You will not need anything to overcome this. As you were born for this.

Learn to trust the good. The heavenly. The bright. Some may call it sun, some may call it nature.

This is not something to be understood within the getmotivated atmosphere. As this is simply a place to " Get motivated ". In order to > Do < something.

&#x200B;

We do not do anything.

They are worried because they know they are not going to be around forever. They want you to be ready. I’ve been there with family members and I know how long it takes for the brain to kick in. Try reading the Primal Teen.

Work in an exercise routine to keep your head (and body) in good shape

No saaa

Focus, effort and get it done- it may not be perfect but progress happens and you need to stand on your own

Yo if you really need the USPS will likely give you a job. Honest work and pay with its own health insurance plan through the union. Be a mail handler or clerk

The law says your parents can keep you on until your 26. But the key word is can. Parents don’t have to have you on their insurance if they don’t want to.

Ahh 26 ya. I thought it was mandatory? Weird. I got screwed and it passed when I turned 27. Lol talk about bad timing.

Unrelated to the post, but I needed to hear this today. Thanks, man.

You climb a mountain one step at a time

I don't know why you're down voted here. I'm not sure on the legality but concerning the morality you are spot on.

I've been a disaster zone for much of my life. I am changing and you can too!

My brother, on the other hand, often says, I'll think about it tomororq. He also thinks that change is too hard.

1. I've learned one thing. Do it BEFORE. What er it is. Do it before

2. YouTube videos about adhd organization. Helped me a bunch.

I am also rooting for you! You Sound like you want to make it. And that's the key.

How do you do it? Cause it ain't easy. How do you renew your desire to do it?

You got this! By sharing it here we know you are determined. We wish to see the very best from you.

Dude

Blessing in disguise

Moving away from parents is the best thing anyone can do. Part of your mental issues stem through both their parenting u as a child and your interactions now.

You literally got invitation to a better future.

And as always remind yourself: what the worst that could happen? Because in reality the worst thing would be needing to go back live with parents at some point, not anything else as u may fear now.

When I was in high-school I got really ill. My parents took the tough-love approach and I'm so glad they did or I think I'd still be ill over a decade later. I have a good life!

My advice is to do things you know are good for you even if they don't seem appealing in the moment. Things that are enjoyable for you. A walk, a trip to the gym, 1 hour reading a book, bake a cake: whatever you enjoy. It's a huge part of learning to take care of yourself.

Also have a "bad day protocol" because you will undoubtedly have bad days. The key is to prevent a bad day from turning into a bad week and old habits. Make a short list of things that are still achievable on a bad day. My 3 things were: Get out of bed, get washed and dressed, leave the house once (for any reason). Do this so that even on a bad day you will still have accomplished something and won't feel like you've "failed" and go into a depressive, demotivated spiral.

Best of luck! You can do this! (but I think you know that. The fact you're here asking questions proves it!)

Just know this thing...as ugly it may be looking now, if you look better, your parents like you very much. And doing this is their way to show it

Im mean, thats probably it. and more positive than what I was gonna say, Which is your parrents sound kinda trauma inducing. and maybe a role in your mental health. ergo what Truebynature said is relevant. get catapulted and away from threatening "support structures"

I usually find that the thought of things are much harder than when I actually do them. Good luck.

One thing I also did was I kinda created my own mission statement. Why I wanna do what I wanna do and what’s it gonna benefit me from it. So, I wrote it down in 1-2 sentences and put it everywhere and that’s my motivation for it. I’m constantly reminded of why I’m doing it

I was in the same position at one point. Very similar to be honest with you except I didn't have the option of maybe staying with my parents, I had a move out date and that was final.

I felt like I was thrown to the wolves a bit because of my MH issues but I am now far better for it.

I won't lie to you, it wasn't an easy start either. It took me months to square myself off and get things in better order but I have grown from the experience and eventually learned to stand tall on my own two feet.

Sometimes we don't see how strong we can be until we are forced to be strong.

Good luck OP, just know that you will make it no matter what.

Sometimes it's just a kick in the ass, too

Can’t state enough how big of a difference it makes to put rigorous exercise into your morning routine until it becomes habit. Pretty much everything else will fall into place, body and mind in motion wants to stay in motion

I write down my to do’s everyday and have a daily checklist that structures my whole day. That way everyday, I’m doing things that take care of me. I still don’t manage it all everyday (mental health, chronic pain, chronic health problems and a toddler 😅) but I am making solid effort everyday and holding myself accountable

Did that this morning, ran a little late but the efficiency will come with practice.

Agreed but also respectfully the worst that could happen is irreversible so I want to feel safe before I’m ready to distance myself from my support system.

Remember that you are loved and have a purpose. Time is limited, and we need to make the most out of our lives while we still can, and that requires a lot of hard work. God bless you, stranger.

Well, it can happen regardless of anything. People randomly slip in their showers etc.

It is up to you, do what you feel is right for you and for the situation.

I just know by experience, losing will to fight by staying in swamp too long can be worse than trying to run when you are not fully ready.

Yo OP, I tried to first disable all the notification on all social media because I didn't want to delete them as they were handy for communication sometime. After disabling everything I realized that my phone was boring as fuck now and I only checked on it when needed.

I believe this is less cold turkey and works pretty well for focusing on tasks.

Thanks for this. Knowing that someone else did it makes me think that I can do it too. You're my hero.

Anytime man! Anything is possible you just gotta see what works for you!

It’s mandatory for the insurance companies (per the Affordable Care Act) to let parents keep their kids on. But parents don’t have to if they don’t want to.