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AngelaLambert OP t1_ixb6kxu wrote

Scary tidbit from the source: "According to child abuse statistics shared by the nonprofit Childhelp, a report of child abuse is made every ten seconds in the United States."

My dad moved us all to Maine suddenly when I was a kid and his abuse actually escalated there because of how isolated we were. I'm sure there's wayyyyyyyyyy more that goes into it than that. I am really curious about what you believe contributes to this.

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AtTheFirePit t1_ixbafvh wrote

Child abuse happens at every socioeconomic level but all kinds of abuse are exasperated by; isolation, lack of social supports, lack of social safety nets, lack of/substandard education, lack of jobs that provide advancement, and poverty.

If I wasn't so tired I'd look to see how Maine ranks on all those other things, too.

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ethan52695 t1_ixdfooa wrote

Ya that makes a lot of sense. We’ve lost so much of the industry that brought people to Maine in the first place. And drugs have seemed to be the thing that replaced those jobs. I’m from the Bangor area and this place seems like it’s falling apart more and more every year. Especially the farther you go away from the city.

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_ixbeduw wrote

Growing up in Maine in the 90s was like growing up in the rest of the country in the 40s and 50s. Millennials are now having kids, and the culture is changing, but it's still very frequent. Isolated, generally uneducated, and a lot of people being poor and miserable and just pumping out kids to get a check. This doesn't surprise me in the least.

Some of the shit I saw growing up in Maine and even out and about in public nowadays with knuckle draggers and their kids was/is jaw-dropping. Especially in the weirder backwoods places where incest/ sexual abuse of children is very common even though most people keep it Maine's dirty little secret. Wouldn't want to scare the tourists away.

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AdmiralWackbar t1_ixclqwi wrote

I mean i grew up in Maine in the 90s it was just normal middle class America for me. It’s not like that’s the situation for everyone, it is sad though

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goodbyekitty83 t1_ixc34yx wrote

What do you mean gen Y are just now having kids? We've been having kids since 20 years ago

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mlo9109 t1_ixcf2x2 wrote

Now it's Gen. Z having kids here. My niece is 24 and has a 1 year old and she's considered to have had kids "later" in life when compared to her peers/our other family members except my sad, single 30 something self.

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ralphy1010 t1_ixctuks wrote

good grief, why the rush? only thing worse than running out and buying a new truck after HS is having a baby right off the bat. I could just never understand why people encouraged it, it's like they wanted them to be stuck in that small town and not be able to move away

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mlo9109 t1_ixcuwpr wrote

Jesus (things are pretty Jesus-y up north) and peer/family pressure are pretty strong motivators (or demotivators to do anything else, really)

I'm the only one of my high school graduating class of 36 who "escaped" the north and the only one without kids. Coincidence? I think not.

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ralphy1010 t1_ixdlepl wrote

my hs was similar in that sense along the coast, 96 graduating seniors, it served like 10 towns. prob a third never did any school beyond HS and a good number of those who did go away for school came back. I don't recall there being much of a bible thumping scene in those days but there was a very pervasive mind set that could be seen as demotivating for anyone who might have thought differently or dreamed of a world beyond that rural collection of towns on the coast.

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_ixcq055 wrote

Sometimes, I forget millennials encompass as far back as 1980. Not the best with time. Shoot me 🤷‍♂️. Also, younger millenials are just now having kids as they enter their 30's and very late 20's. So, the statement is still technically correct. But that's not really the point of the thread, is it?

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goodbyekitty83 t1_ixcxtq3 wrote

And we definitely need to stop referring to ourselves as millennials, that was a word made up to be used as a swear word to call us lazy and other types of shit. We are Gin y, not millennials so we need to drop that shit right now

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_ixcyugq wrote

I mean... chicken or the egg. I heard the term millennial used as just a generational label before it was ever used in a derogatory sense. I like Millennial, it's indicative of coming of age during... the millennium. Gen Y is bland and boring. Boomers get shit on, too, but they're still baby boomers. 😂 So I disagree. It's wild, though, how you found an issue with everything in the post except. The main topic, which was literal child abuse.

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goodbyekitty83 t1_ixd5ph7 wrote

It's just doesn't make sense to go from Gen X July Gen z and then why being used as men millennial again

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207Simone t1_ixgw1ia wrote

Oh have I got a story for you. Was at my local food pantry a week or so ago waiting outside in line. It was cold that morning. Was chatting it up w/2 other moms (age wise prob late 20s early 30s) cause I had a question about baby gear they had. While they were waiting for their number to be called, they took their infants who were in their car seats, put them back in their SUV then came back in line to wait. NOBODY was in the SUV w/the babies they literally just put these 2 babies in their respective seats walked away got back in line & kept chatting like nothing happened. I’m not that “old” (36) but i was shocked to see this. Might be how I was raised by 2 old school parents from Boston, IDK.i just shook my head in disbelief & continued to mind my business

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_ixhpqkq wrote

Oh, it's awful, the amount of people I've seen straight up wack their kids on the back of the head or something at restaurants or out at the grocery store for just being a kid. I remember years ago I was eating Chinese with a friend, and this family came in and were immediately just.... trashy. The waitress is taking their orders, and they get to this boy that looks broken at like seven years old. "Mom," whaps him on the head and goes, "Well, tell her what you want dumbass."

Multiple tables spoke up, and even the waitress spoke up, and they freaked out to the point of them leaving. It wasn't a win, though, because that kid just ended up having to go right back to whatever hellhole those "parents," had him in.

All the while yelling about how parents nowadays are pussies yadda yadda. Shit like that is not uncommon in rural areas.

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Zestyclose_Media_548 t1_ixccwhq wrote

Maybe we report it more ? I’ve worked in a school for over 20 years and we have to report frequently. Rarely is anything done.

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undertow521 t1_ixcyqdg wrote

I haven't worked for OCFS for almost 10 years, but was a caseworker for 8 years. What people don't understand about making reports and then claiming "nothing is done" is that may be due to an endless amount of factors.

OCFS may already be aware of the situation and involved in some capacity, or don't have enough in the report to open a case.

They may be trying to do something but aren't able to gather enough evidence I order to file protective petitions. CPS workers are trained how to interview in legally sound interviewing that is able to stand up in court. Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to get a kid to say their parents abuse/neglect them, because even abused/neglected kids can still love their parents, or be terrified of saying something and getting into trouble.

They may have the evidence they think is necessary but the parents attorneys/Guardian ad Lietem/District Court Judge disagrees and the protection order is denied. OCFS can't make decision unilaterally. Parents get attorneys, children get attorneys, and Judges have opinions.

Number one of which includes how insanely overworked and understaffed the agency is. The job is IMPOSSIBLE. It's emotionally and mentally traumatic to the caseworkers. I had near crippling anxiety every single day at work for 8 years. You're constantly yelled at by parents and families for making up stuff and stealing kids and getting "10k bonuses for each kid we steal!", while simultaneously being scrutinized by the general public for not doing enough and not preventing every single child death in Maine.

On top of that, there aren't even enough Foster homes to put kids in that are removed. Caseworker have had to stay with kids in hotel rooms beciae of the lack of foster care home availability.

The public never hears or acknowledges the good stories of rehabilitation and reunification or adoptions. The latch on the sensational negative stories in the media and everyone's anecdotes of how DHHS never does anything.

Beyond that OCFS has massive employee turnover. They are constantly hiring young Social Workers fresh out of college, as their first job. It's brutal work for a 24/25 year old and they burn out, have breakdowns, and take their first opportunity to leave for another job like I did.

The only way to address every single report as thoroughly as possible, is to basically double the work force, pay caseworkers double what they make to make up for what a shit job it is to attract experienced SWs or retain the ones they have. But the general public would likely never be on board with this.

Thats my two cents

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coolcalmaesop t1_ixclznu wrote

20 years ago my sixth grade teacher made a report. A caseworker came to my school and we went into the principals office where they had me remove my shirt to photograph my injuries. Then they sent me home like nothing happened and I never saw that caseworker again.

Things were bad before. I can't begin to explain how bad things got after that report was made though.

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ILuhMeSomeBlackWomen t1_ixcqnc6 wrote

Dislocated my shoulder on a Saturday, Sunday I made a sling from peeling bark from the hogs pens fence posts, Monday morning my arm was red and swollen, could barely move it. Sent to school, teacher sent me to the nurse and my dad was called…finally had a real sling, had Bert & Ernie as a print. No fuss, no muss.

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Right_In_The_Tits t1_ixcterq wrote

So for an entire weekend neither of your parents raised any concerns about your dislocated shoulder despite it being red, swollen, and in a sling?

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ILuhMeSomeBlackWomen t1_ixdvtua wrote

Well, dislocated shoulder. But, yes. I was told when I presented myself wearing the bark sling it was thought I was going to length for attention, sympathy.

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Blicero1 t1_ixcswyw wrote

I’d guess that Maine is a combo of a lot of rural poverty which contributes to the issue, combined with at least some government/oversight that leads to slightly more reporting, though not necessarily action. Versus a lot of southern states that have the poverty and isolation and basically no governmental oversight at all

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Skolanthropy t1_ixcudst wrote

^^ This.

When I lived in rural Mississippi I could not believe how many school-aged boys were simply not in school during the day. A little bit of laptop time for "home school" , then the rest of the day was smoking pot, burning stuff, muddin, and shooting.

Getting hit by your dad or being subjected to emotional abuse wouldn't even be on the radar as a problem for these folks.

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knitwasabi t1_ixclktu wrote

This. We're reported someone for child sexual contact and nothing happened. Like...wut.

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bettyclevelandstewrt t1_ixc989d wrote

Too bad Maine DHHS is a fucking joke. How many kids have died under their watch in the last 5-20 years? How is it they’re allowed to refuse to cooperate with oversight committees?

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wargleboo t1_ixbdelz wrote

Abuse: the way life should be.

That's sure how it seemed growing up.

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undertow521 t1_ixcvl2v wrote

As a former CPS case worker, based on how overworked we all were, I absolutely believe this.

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Bywater t1_ixd8de6 wrote

It's the poverty and isolation, people don't have any support and they can't handle the stress so they beat on the kids.

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207Simone t1_ixgwavk wrote

For those of us born mid-80s, Up until recently I considered myself “millennial” that’s the term I was raised on til I found out last year there’s a NEW term for us: Xennial. Has anyone considered themselves a Xennial? I feel like being born in 85 I can relate to Xennial a lot more

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RAP1958 t1_ixcd418 wrote

My wife and I drive around the back roads of Maine daily. There is an incredible amount of back breaking poverty in this state. White privilege is a bad joke up here! That being said only a sick fucking coward would abuse a child, no matter where they fall on the economic scale. Maybe some serious consequences like a jail sentence that isn't a weekend at the country club. 20 year mandatory, one year added for every year the child is below 18yo.

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MathematicianGlum880 t1_ixcjta3 wrote

Back in 2013, my husband and I drove around the back road of West Virginia on a motor cycle, I have never in my life seen such poverty. Blankets hanging where windows should be, and people were actually living there. The poverty in that state is much worse than Maine. When we visited my husbands friend, he told us to park our bike in a friends barn, as there would be nothing left of it the next day. Moonshine everywhere and every kind imaginable. And because our RV was older than dirt, we had to stay in derelict campgrounds. The campground in Indiana was riddled with sex offenders and domestic violence offenders. I never in my life felt so unsafe. It’s not just Maine, trust me. I took a statistics course in the 90’s at USM and most statistics are skewed. You find what you are looking for.

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Your_Skadi t1_ixctcnf wrote

Child Protective Services is so deeply corrupt and dysfunctional that you would have to completely tear it down and start over to fix it. Dr. Lawrence Ricci is the one doctor who accesses injuries to children for the state, he has a serious God complex and lord help you if you ask him to explain your child's injuries to you. The hospitals are in bed with the state. The kids who need protection are ignored, and those whose families need some support get their kids removed. The state always claims under funding, but they are making millions in federal funding annually. The federal funding is set up to turn CPS into a kids for cash racket. No family is exempt, know your rights. It is disgusting what really goes on.

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undertow521 t1_ixczc4i wrote

This comment is a joke.

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Your_Skadi t1_ixczjil wrote

As a parent who went through the system, I assure you there are no jokes here. Look into Hilary Clinton's Safe Families Act.

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undertow521 t1_ixd1bn7 wrote

As a former CPS worker who worked in "The system" I can assure you it is.

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Your_Skadi t1_ixd91l2 wrote

Of course a case worker would say that. You're like mushrooms, kept in the dark and fed shit. Have a nice day.

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undertow521 t1_ixd9g9b wrote

Lol. Ahh the CPS paradox.

Families involved with CPS say we're involved too much, stealing kids for profit, and getting 10k per kid all along.

While the general public claims CPS isn't doing anything and never responds to reports.

Well, which is it?

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