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IDoPokeSmot t1_j9p8kb8 wrote

No, I don't talk to my parents, really. In fact, most of the time, I forget they exist. My girlfriend, on the other hand, can tell me she's hungry and I'll drive two hours just to drop her off lunch and tell her I love her.

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DaHotFuzz t1_j9t1kj1 wrote

You forget your own parents but you'll drive 2 hours for some imaginary girlfriend.

X to doubt

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resorcinarene t1_j9pbaso wrote

No you wouldn't

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woodycodeblue t1_j9pq7xa wrote

Well duh. Two hours later the food he brings is more likely to be considered dinner.

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resorcinarene t1_j9pr1ie wrote

There's no way this mope does this in a healthy relationship between two equal partners. Dude is either an unemployed simp with nothing else to do or spinning fantasy for the karma from naive teenagers passing as adults. Dude's response does not represent reality lol

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woodycodeblue t1_j9psb97 wrote

Or simply exaggerating, as people are wont to do. /shrug

Coincidentally, I behave similarly. If my wife says she's hungry, I generally offer to get something for her even if it's a bit out of my way. (In practice, of course, real life responsibilities may make it infeasible at any particular time)

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tillytubeworm t1_j9qmfq6 wrote

Equivocating saying someone would do something to someone actually doing something is just a fallacy.

In a healthy relationship people could very easily be willing to do something like this, maybe not all the time, but willing to. Also in a healthy relationship this would not be a reasonable ask, and therefore wouldn’t be an ask from someone who equally would want the betterment of someone willing to do that, meaning that although the will is there, this probably wouldn’t happen except on rare occasions that it’s reasonable and unasked as a fun little surprise.

Try not to be so negative about things man.

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Quiet-Shallot3290 t1_j9racgk wrote

Yeah. I mean I have good friends who would take a bullet for me. I'm a good friend because I would never ask them to, and vice versa.

I think really did a great job of explaining this.

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Quiet-Shallot3290 t1_j9r9q6l wrote

And someone who walks around calling other people a "simp" isn't a teenager passing as an adult?

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resorcinarene t1_j9re1lk wrote

Simp is the gen-z term. We used to call it pussy whipped - same concept.

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Quiet-Shallot3290 t1_j9rfe70 wrote

Ah yes. I forgot about that other incredibly emotionally mature statement. I know when I want advice on a healthy relationship I sure want to ask the guy who calls people "pussy-whipped".

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resorcinarene t1_j9rg0ts wrote

What do you have against urban slang to describe uneven burden-sharing in a relationship?

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Quiet-Shallot3290 t1_j9rihex wrote

Oh whatever. It is never used in that manner. It is used on guys who are doing things with their partner that their partner enjoys. Things that wouldn't be seen as a overly masculine thing to do. Because men apparently have to be the alpha and tell their woman to stay in their place or whatever. I guess spending quality time with your partner doing things that they enjoy sometimes makes you a pussy and subservient little bitch.

Now let's say your bullshit statement were true. The guy is in a relationship where he isn't treated as an equal, and made to be subservient. You're now just being abusive as well. You're doing the same exact thing as their partner by talking down to them and breaking them down in an attempt to do what you say.

So if you're really defending this type of stupid ass, toxic, childish language then maybe you should take a real long hard look at the kind of person you are.

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resorcinarene t1_j9rk98n wrote

So if one partner in the relationship says they're hungry, the other is supposed to jump up and travel 2-hours to feed them? What kind of low self-esteem worthless sap doesn't see the problem with that? lol

I don't know your personal situation, but if The above sounds like familiar of behavior, I hate to tell you this but you're being abused. Ignore the language for a second focus on the actual behavior being described. It's unhealthy.

I admit that the words are crass, but It doesn't change the fact that the behavior above involves one person being taken advantage of. You don't have to defend it if that describes you. Take inventory of your value and say no, maybe lol

−1

Quiet-Shallot3290 t1_j9rrbxx wrote

Someone already explained this above better than I am willing to. We can explain it to you numerous times but we can't understand it for you.

Also you've never had a pregnant wife.

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resorcinarene t1_j9s0cii wrote

I see it perfectly clear. Make sure to get extra food for Sancho

0

Fearzebu t1_j9qnwhf wrote

Some people’s parents are assholes, spouses are chosen, and typically by compatibility, spouses are way more likely to actually like each other

Your shower thought blows

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Joubachi t1_j9pc7cr wrote

If you behave exactly like their parent probably, otherwise no.

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lilsadlonelydad t1_j9p8uyz wrote

That’s a load. My wife called me a piece of shit last night and she treats her dad like he walks on water.

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Patrishimo3 t1_j9pvdcv wrote

Not true, I speak to my parents the way they spoke to me. I do not pass that down to my partner, I give it right back to them where it belongs.

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TheOctopus333 t1_j9q899d wrote

His parents are dead but he totally loved them. Nothing but good things to say.

Doesn't talk to 2 of his siblings because when his mom died, his shiesty sister took stuff without any of their knowledge.

And then before his dad even died, her and one of his brothers quietly moved the title into their names-- and on top of that they made it known during the funeral.

He let them keep it all and has never seen or spoken to them since. Apparently they ask after him to his other siblings often, and when it was mentioned to him he respond with, "and did you tell them I never ask after them?" He feels that they are only greedy and nothing else. He's totally disgusted by the fact that while their parents lay dying, all those 2 could think about was what they could get their grabby claws into.

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Travwolfe101 t1_j9sba6p wrote

Whats up with all the straight up wrong and/or low quality showerthoughts on my feed today? Lol

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romniner t1_j9sfcal wrote

That sentiment says more about you than being a true statement in general.

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Vishnej t1_j9te3ew wrote

This is the kind of thing you can only believe if you were raised in a happy functional emotionally stable family.

I was terrified my girlfriend would believe this, when she saw me scream at the top of my lungs at my BPD mother who was prying into our relationship attempting to find weak points. I had to put up that performative rage to try and set some boundaries she would respect in a language that would shock her out of her jealousy at not being the center of attention. I needed to posture this way before she poisoned me and my GF's relationship like my mother has poisoned every relationship with every friend and coworker and family member she's ever had. She's got a twin sister and they've been in a no-contact status on and off dozens of times now.

Abusive, emotionally manipulative parents have installed certain triggers, shortcuts, and routines in their parent-child relationship over the years that a partner probably has no understanding of. Seeing something like the onramp to an entitled tantrum, tears, and forced appeal for sympathy coming a mile off, requires either sitting through that episode with the partner, or taking off, dropping some F-bombs, and cratering the road from altitude.

Some of us have to structure a lot of our behavior around remaining emotionally intact and never adopting the relationship dynamics of our parents. That doesn't mean it's possible to treat them like we treat everyone else. Doing that would have required becoming estranged many times over.

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Careless_Humanperson t1_j9thqrf wrote

It's beliefs like this that makes people who grew up in abusive families believe that nobody is ever going to want them. People can be better than their relationship with their parents.

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The_Star_Bringer_527 t1_j9tl0fx wrote

I call bullshit

One can have a terrible relationship with their parents and a beautiful one with their partner

I've seen it many times

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Melopahn1 t1_j9ttwra wrote

LMAO! I'd say this is almost never true, and if it is that person needs therapy. You should never equate your parental relationship with a chosen partner.

Even thinking this...OP should probably book some therapy sessions, definitely got some issues to work out from your upbringing.

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Showerthoughts_Mod t1_j9p8awl wrote

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"

(For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

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mesa45 t1_j9qqhkr wrote

My mom is sweet but my dad can be a narcissistic asshole, and I rage at him.

But sometimes I rage at my gf too which I’m working on, but years of hearing him scream at my mom messed me up.

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Binksyboo t1_j9t2xhj wrote

One thing I know for sure - you can tell what kind of parent someone will be by how they treat their pets.

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wakeuptomorrow t1_j9uaam0 wrote

This kind of thinking is so damaging. You must come from a really easy happy home life. Lucky you.

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