Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

junction182736 t1_j03eufq wrote

Woman: Hey you...you want a Rolex for $100?

Me: Sure! Let me take a look

Woman: *reaches in pants

Me: *backs away into a run

3

Bmaj13 t1_j03g12u wrote

How'd she get caught? Her biological clock was ticking.

34

P7BinSD t1_j03g6dm wrote

She's a real Captain Koons.

1

ThouKnave t1_j03gz72 wrote

Did the watch sue over catching something?

2

matts198715 t1_j03h9do wrote

Sounds like how butch Coolidges dad got his gold watch out of Vietnam

2

Galdae t1_j03hqpk wrote

So the question becomes, was it in the front or in the back?

−2

FaithieWaithie42 t1_j03igfm wrote

Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family.

101

hiskias t1_j03j8km wrote

Rolex snatcher

30

justabill71 t1_j03k0pj wrote

Was it the Clam Perpetual? The Twat-master?

7

danceswithtree t1_j03kbot wrote

Reminds me of the punchline--- If Camilla were here, we could have saved the Rolls.

5

BZRK_Lee t1_j03ml9i wrote

I bet she was on time.

0

daveashaw t1_j03nuf6 wrote

I hope it was the Diver's model--be a good ad for it.

10

risenphoenixkai t1_j03o3e9 wrote

Lady, if you want a submariner inside of you, just go to a naval base.

82

[deleted] t1_j03sql4 wrote

Worst thing is she looks like she “isn’t fresh” down there. She can keep the watch…

−1

laythor t1_j03t3vb wrote

Watched Pulp Fiction, instructions unclear.

5

blueyork t1_j03u0kb wrote

Princess Diana and the Queen are driving down the lane when their car is forced off the road by masked thieves. “Out of the car and hand over your jewels.” After the thieves rob them and steal their car, Diana begins to put her earrings, necklace, and rings back on. “Wherever did you hide those,” demanded the Queen. “Where do you think?” asked Diana. “Pity Margaret wasn’t here,” said the Queen. “We could have saved the Bentley.”
-Joan Rivers

74

Sleepdprived t1_j03vivs wrote

What happens inside vegas... should be detail cleaned with alchohol.

3

Sleepdprived t1_j03vjqe wrote

What happens in vegas... should be detail cleaned with alchohol.

2

kielu t1_j03z7n0 wrote

This quality reporting is not available in the EU

0

Mr_Wigglebutz t1_j04022t wrote

Her whole face looks like someone slapped her sideways with a solid lefty.

1

hatersaurusrex t1_j041a5t wrote

>The man told officers he met Richards and invited her to his room, police said. The pair started to cuddle, when Richards reportedly told the man he should take off his Rolex watch or it would cut her while they cuddled.

Cuddled, huh?

58

zensins t1_j041oc9 wrote

Coincidentally, Rolex is starting up a certified pre-owned program.

8

jordantask t1_j048fap wrote

“Good news! We got your watch back!”

“…. Nah. I’m good.”

14

timojenbin t1_j04fd1i wrote

That's a kink i've never heard of.

1

Rymundo88 t1_j04hfwk wrote

"She aroused suspicion when she was seen dancing around the streets like Julie Andrews, singing 'The Sound of Music', which she blamed on the Rolex's Swiss movement"

1

itssalmon t1_j04irmr wrote

Is her face off center or am I seeing things.

3

peensteen t1_j04j5sa wrote

She is currently the campaign setting for the new Gerbil King Lemmiwinks expansion.

1

RedBison t1_j04jw8d wrote

Master snatcher.

Well, maybe not. Caught twice, and guaranteed a cavity search for any future run-in.

3

Firestorm238 t1_j04kmcx wrote

“Smeeeee!” (In a Captain Hook voice).

3

dershmoo t1_j04lqro wrote

That Nautilus didn’t expect going back into the abyss that soon

4

SmudgieSage t1_j04vupj wrote

I thought the title said Roblox

1

sharksnut t1_j04xeoc wrote

This is why I only use sundials

2

ITstaph t1_j04ygk8 wrote

What time is it? Arby’s roast beef time.

−1

[deleted] t1_j04ysf8 wrote

At that moment, it was the world’s most expensive genitalia

2

Pman64 t1_j052xzz wrote

This isn't her 1st insert-eo.

−1

AngryBeardedRobot t1_j05462y wrote

Replying to Smartnership (#924,433)

I used to do Loss Prevention back in the day. We used to have these maybe $100 dollar digital cameras in a clamshell. Well, a lady walked in cut it open and shoved the camera into her monkey hole. It was not a pleasant experience for any one involved.

32

Budmanes t1_j054rhh wrote

There’s a joke in there about snatching watches, but I’m gonna leave it alone

8

ironroad18 t1_j056fck wrote

"Your honor, as I stand here with this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass..."

1

spoon_shaped_spoon t1_j05hsii wrote

This is like the old line,"Is that a Rolex in your cooch or are you just glad to see me?"

3

TommyMommy37 t1_j05l50m wrote

She thought she could play the Gender card untill the Law used a genital search warrant...

How Unexpected 🤣😅

0

alexaxl t1_j05mbi8 wrote

Believe all W..

1

RingGiver t1_j05pyzc wrote

>“She stated that we were going to find it anyways at jail and she did not want to go through the hassle,” officers wrote in the arrest report.

Sounds like she's been arrested before.

5

LrdRager t1_j05sip4 wrote

Bro that’s hilarious, I went to school with her🤣🤣🤣

7

here4mischief t1_j05uizn wrote

We finally know what happened to that "Your vulva is not a pocket" girl

1

mojojojo31 t1_j05yv0i wrote

Must've been the Rolex Oyster

3

Claque-2 t1_j0603o9 wrote

"My God, will you look at the time!"

1

Pusfilledonut t1_j060sff wrote

Honey, what time is it?

Let me get this tampon out of the way and I’ll tell you

1

davtruss t1_j06113s wrote

For those too lazy to read article, did the "similar theft charge" involve the Rolex or the genitals or both? Asking for a friend....

1

PARANOIAH t1_j079eeo wrote

Submariner went diving?

2

VanDenBroeck t1_j08nzhj wrote

If he had it latched properly, it wouldn’t have slipped off his wrist when he pulled his fist out.

1

shf500 t1_j09lkjt wrote

Curb Your Enthusiasm

1

TheRoach69 t1_j09su26 wrote

I usually wear my watch on my wrist.

1

variegatedheart t1_j0fv4sb wrote

As soon as I saw the headline I knew it was a trick roll 😂

1