Submitted by icantbenormal t3_zvnghp in nottheonion
Comments
kevlarcardhouse t1_j1qtf5j wrote
I'm a patriot who only shops for sex dolls made by local artisans.
MrMojorisin521 t1_j1qyzzv wrote
“They took arr dolls!”
Meanderingversion t1_j1rgqw6 wrote
De trk owl blaargs!
Motokowarframe t1_j1s5gll wrote
Terk ur daws!
RecurringRevenue t1_j1r6nw9 wrote
Lol.
mark-haus t1_j1tt1l9 wrote
I want to be able to look the sex doll craftsmen and women in the face after I've soiled it
GrrreatFrostedFlakes t1_j1ub7rt wrote
Dad?
GroundbreakingGur930 t1_j1qb066 wrote
You have no idea how loud your comment rings true.
SirThatsCuba t1_j1r2ul4 wrote
Sex doll protectionism is a serious issue for economists
defqon_39 t1_j1tulze wrote
So did a communist country have their sex dolls produced by the government only?
Privatization of sex doll manufacturing became a "bourgeoise" thing?
Platypushat t1_j1rz3h5 wrote
Is it weird that this was my assumption too, that they were making domestically and didn’t want foreign imports to compete?
deedeekei t1_j1tvuyy wrote
Bet they lifted it cos the foreign ones don't compare to the domestic ones lol
Searchlights t1_j1rs42c wrote
Our party platform supports a high protective tariff on fuckdolls
jeffersonairmattress t1_j1rpg7h wrote
“The cooze shall not replace us.”
iamwam15 t1_j1qs3mb wrote
South Korean population decreased by 13% in 2024
AmateurVasectomist t1_j1qxfq8 wrote
It can’t dwindle that much more tbh
WWDubz t1_j1s7d0x wrote
They should make housing and raising a family impossible and then blame it on young people
The-Board-Chairman t1_j1s9xyk wrote
Aren't they alre-...oh...
TBNRFIREFOX t1_j1sws2j wrote
I think you’re on to something!
MelissaMiranti t1_j1s12l1 wrote
Imported sex dolls are actually murderbots. North Korea jubilant.
r31ya t1_j1scamd wrote
Apparently the ruling came after one of the doll started to sing NorthKorea national song at night.
---
"Don't you think thats scary?"
"Dude, you don't understand. Its a very good sexdoll"
"My guy, you have north korea flag on your bedroom"
"Yes, apparently it pleases her"
Skylair13 t1_j1tyeig wrote
Converting people, one sex doll at a time.
defqon_39 t1_j1tuoch wrote
Yea if it came from SK I would never stick my thing in there
Might as well be called a walking cucumber cutter with eyes -- and probably spying on you too
MoralMinion t1_j1sn05x wrote
Decreasing birth rate has got nothing to do with masturbating.
tofuonplate t1_j1rxge3 wrote
I doubt it would change much
Some men will simply never get any chance
mykilososa t1_j1r6ym8 wrote
This begs the question: what country is producing the best sex dolls?!
PorchHonky t1_j1reiww wrote
Amish Country.
TheyCallMeQBert t1_j1s2x84 wrote
Their no-drip semen collection trays are handcrafted and assembled by good God fearing men and women.
thatoneotherguy42 t1_j1s93ll wrote
I'll be honest here; I'm not looking for a good God fearing sexbot. I want a satanic hedonist to scream "dirty boy" and tackle me.
thezoomies t1_j1sslcj wrote
I want the god fearing sexbot to scream “dirty boy” and tackle me.
Mayonnaise_Ablaze t1_j1tl1rz wrote
r/brandnewsentence
regancp t1_j1tto9u wrote
You know what they say, the most repressed are the best undressed.
drivingsansrobopants t1_j1skqmx wrote
Every sperm is sacred!
Hairy_Relief3980 t1_j1u6d7i wrote
Every sperm is good
Yotsubato t1_j1s38mv wrote
That’s what goats and sheep are for.
Btw, they have the same sized female genitals as humans.
You’re welcome for that knowledge.
PermanentTrainDamage t1_j1shvx0 wrote
Guys we got a whole disease from schtupping the livestock, please don't.
marklein t1_j1t4x3m wrote
What disease is that?
TheKurtCobains t1_j1tjo2k wrote
Chickenpox
Painting_Agency t1_j1u0w2l wrote
Humiliation.
TheKurtCobains t1_j1y0m9d wrote
Hay fever
PorchHonky t1_j1scsuk wrote
It… it actually explains a lot.
qiuboujun t1_j1sfq9c wrote
They are extra thicc looking from the back too
Refreshingpudding t1_j1sc67j wrote
My cousin's father in law in Canada makes anime figures from molds. I saw full size figures too. He has a select clientele, "friends from the Internet"
vinsmokesanji3 t1_j1szdq3 wrote
That’s disgusting! Where?
thenameofwind t1_j1u79x0 wrote
Can’t threaten anyone with a good time
ExNihiloish t1_j1sss93 wrote
Does he have a website?
Saint_The_Stig t1_j1t8wda wrote
Like not even from a sex side, that just sounds interesting.
Painting_Agency t1_j1u124b wrote
There are actually a whole subculture of hobbyists making their own action figures and things like that. They make backboards and packaging for them too, often in the style of retro 80's figures or something.
Usually they're not casting hentai figures for weeaboos to jerk off on, though.
Refreshingpudding t1_j1ummgx wrote
Yeah he showed off his workshop. There were some risque pieces but I don't think he was making sex dolls. He had the capacity if he so desired thought
He was really good, I saw entire flotillas, army battalions, etc etc
WurthWhile t1_j1sqkkb wrote
Texas, that's where Real Dolls are made and are typically considered the best.
hackenschmidt t1_j1u434i wrote
> Real Dolls
Holy shit some of those are creepy life-like. Only like $4k-$7k too. Considering how expensive real girlfriends/wives/concubines are, thats hella cheap.
> Texas
Such an appropriate Texan response for "what country...."
WurthWhile t1_j1v1jzg wrote
While that definitely is a Texan response, I'm a NYers actually. It's just common for Americans to specify the state when asked what country.
VamosFicar t1_j26stut wrote
Aye and they can even come with vaginas that are modeled on casts taken from porn stars. Now, bucket fanny models are not my thing, but the possibilites are intriguing: You could have the 'Taliban Special', where everything is stitched up tight. :/
Notsnowbound t1_j1sy7tq wrote
It's either Italy or Portugal, I think. Or maybe Japan. One of those three. See them on the edgy future-is-now shows frequently. There's one that can have conversations and mimic human expressions. Real 'AI' movie stuff...
gelade1 t1_j1tu2zf wrote
for that purpose, Japan.
moldingmouse t1_j1ronzk wrote
why do they have one in the courtroom 😭😭
Penguin787 t1_j1rulgr wrote
The work is too stressful sometimes
DarkJayBR t1_j1tt3xx wrote
Sometimes you can feel so alone in the middle of work.
Totaliss t1_j1s4e46 wrote
"Your honor, I was using it last night and it was FANTASTIC."
v3ritas1989 t1_j1sa9so wrote
You gotta give it to the guy to sit there with a straight face!
Borderlandsman t1_j1spx83 wrote
The doll is there for a deposition
Seoulite1 t1_j1tv4sl wrote
This is the national assembly where the reps were discussing the issue which makes the presence more fitting and hilarious at the same time
ubikpainter t1_j1qy6nd wrote
"Good news everyone!" -Professor Farnsworth
wherearmim t1_j1szivu wrote
I heard it before I saw the name 😂
shibe_ceo t1_j1tuagq wrote
The new Dacia sex doll is taking Korea by storm
jmanthefatbastrd t1_j1tgnvr wrote
It's a suppository
ZSpectre t1_j1tz4g3 wrote
"Come into my bedroom for a private exhibition!"
AmethystOrator t1_j1r4d6g wrote
New advertising slogan:
"The sex dolls so good that the govt. didn't want you to get your hands, or any other part, on them"
The_Fiddler1979 t1_j1rrbke wrote
>in them
REO_Speed_Dragon t1_j1q12se wrote
Ain't buyin' no gall danged imperted doll. Best sex doll are made right here in 'Rea by 'Rean workers. Thanks, Yoon!
TractorLoving t1_j1sfj7l wrote
THEY TOOK OUR SEX DOLLS
[deleted] t1_j1s0iq8 wrote
>in 'Rea by 'Rean workers
Beautiful
smalldickrick t1_j1q0au8 wrote
Finally!
hazpat t1_j1qmzf0 wrote
Nobody is going to comment on the basic instict courtroom photo?
notmoleliza t1_j1s134k wrote
Uh....is she single? A friend asked.
drivingsansrobopants t1_j1sl0iy wrote
The one who doesn't wear panties to a public court hearing? Probably not.
defqon_39 t1_j1tuthq wrote
Yea it looks creepy as hell -- I'm hoping they didn't demo it either to convince the jury or the judge -- that would be really awkward
RedHotCommy89 t1_j1qpkwl wrote
*6 months later* On tonight's news: The import of Kim Jung-Un sexdolls to South-Korea has increased by 1600%
t3chg3n13 t1_j1szmj6 wrote
Probably infinite percent. Dividing by zero and all
nicht_ernsthaft t1_j1quro2 wrote
> He said the company has filed separate lawsuits seeking government compensation as many of the retrieved sex dolls became unusable following about two years of seizures by the customs service.
"became unusable". So, reading between the lines, it was "stored" in the office of some fat useless corrupt xenophobic nationalist border guard and is no longer in a state where it can be sold to consumers.
> Customs officials said they still likely hold more than 1,000 sex dolls that had been sent to South Korea since 2018.
Hmmm...
StringNut t1_j1qwd0w wrote
China has the terra cotta army. South Korea has the silicone army.
Tarrtarus t1_j1qx8wz wrote
Why do they all look so surprised? :O
OriginalAgentCut-Up t1_j1rkf58 wrote
"What, you've never seen a handicapped man before?!"
RandomMandarin t1_j1sijrc wrote
> sex dolls became unusable following about two years of seizures
Even a sex doll shouldn't be having seizures, much less two years of them.
Roggvir t1_j1tdst4 wrote
I dug into this rabbit hole sometime ago when I saw sex dolls in witcher sub...
Apparently sex dolls are pretty heavy (almost like a person!) so the silicone gets damaged from its own weight if it's left on one side for too long without proper storage. And some models actually cannot be put in standing position because the metal "bone" frames will rip into the heel silicone material from its sheer weight.
Hayred t1_j1tp46q wrote
So sex dolls will get pressure sores from being bedridden too long, just like a person. Could just market that as a feature, really adds to the realism!
Christopher135MPS t1_j1tt9ec wrote
I’ve been an ICU nurse - performing bed and other routine cares gets very old, very fast. This is a bad feature to add 😂
coffeeguyq8 t1_j1rzmdz wrote
I don't know what to do with this information
RunnyPlease t1_j1td1lp wrote
Well, South Korea has a demographics issue with low birthrate and an aging population. Presumably a rapid influx of high quality foreign fuck dolls isn’t going to help that. So if you have any stock in a Korean baby food company maybe start looking to move those funds elsewhere.
Christopher135MPS t1_j1tt44d wrote
Ironically, Spectra is one the biggest names in breastfeeding and breast milk pumping equipment and accessories. They’re renowned globally. And they’re Korean.
BelgianBond t1_j1tvl5f wrote
Definitely some irony there, but perhaps they went global out of necessity when the warehouses started filling up with unused pumps.
Narrator_Ron_Howard t1_j1q49px wrote
Merry Christmas
Krusty_Double_Deluxe t1_j1qr1jx wrote
r/upliftingnews
wolf58_ t1_j1rmsog wrote
Nice
yzrguy t1_j1q20sb wrote
No more late night border on runs!
notrevealingrealname t1_j1q3i2f wrote
Border runs from South Korea? I don’t think the Kims have anything they want in that category…
Maidero t1_j1r4pxf wrote
at least they gave her a chair
Alex09464367 t1_j1qhy4r wrote
>Importers complained and took their case to courts, most of which agreed with them and ordered customs to release the sex dolls, saying they are used in people’s private spaces and don’t undermine human dignity.
Let gay people still can't have sex in the forced military service but straight people can. Where is the it's done in private spaces and doesn't undermine human dignity there?
SilverbackAg t1_j1qrkic wrote
You’ve never seen ROKA barracks have you?
Alex09464367 t1_j1qrocf wrote
It's still illegal for gay sex
defqon_39 t1_j1tv1cy wrote
>South Korea is worried about its low birth rate.
I wonder what all the K-pop singers did while serving their country ..
TheGrinReefer t1_j1r5skf wrote
Lmao thought that was Boebert at first glimpse.
[deleted] t1_j1rq70v wrote
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kinggoesgaming t1_j1rq2hu wrote
You get an imported sex doll! YOU get an imported sex doll!! EVERYBODY GETS AN IMPORTED SEX DOLL!!!
foxtrotsix t1_j1sf8jh wrote
“There are various types of people who use (sex dolls), including those who are sexually alienated or those who need them for artistic purposes.”
Artistic purposes... wut XD
"Customs officials said they still likely hold more than 1,000 sex dolls that had been sent to South Korea since 2018."
i_give_you_gum t1_j1sz0mz wrote
Yeah, little known fact about Jackson Pollock
Kakyro t1_j1tql10 wrote
Some products that are technically sex dolls (or technically not sex dolls) might be the best options available for modelling or posing?
Xmina t1_j1ts8ud wrote
Or trying to show art like showing that in certain groups women are viewed no differently than a sex doll. Having the woman/sex doll swap places depending on context in a show or picture. I dont think it would be too popular but the applications are there.
mabhatter t1_j1tybsn wrote
They're working with Disney animatronics on the next K-Pop sensation. Just skip the real girls all together as they aren't unrealistically perfect enough.
r2k398 t1_j1r27w9 wrote
Getting tired of the domestic ones?
knobbedporgy t1_j1rywj5 wrote
She looks excited about it.
defqon_39 t1_j1tuxa3 wrote
Dont worry she signed a consent form -- no dolls were harmed in the production of this photograph
Omegalazarus t1_j1qydf3 wrote
Why couldn't this happen when I was stationed over there!?
sandhandler t1_j1qm6py wrote
world is healing ❤️🩹 give them ai
JPOIronside t1_j1qxprv wrote
About time
LoonyBunBennyLava t1_j1rgfdy wrote
Reminds me of the Futurama episode where they made anti robot sex ads
Disco425 t1_j1rjjo4 wrote
Just wait until the new models have AI...incels will never leave home !
I_might_be_weasel t1_j1ry6pl wrote
But the domestic manufacturers making sex dolls the traditional Korean way will suffer!
samz22 t1_j1rlpl8 wrote
Imagine someone trying to throw one away and your neighbor sees a arm hanging out the garbage and calls the cops 🤣
FindTheRemnant t1_j1rrx1o wrote
Yeah, that'll help you catastrophic fertility rate.
/s
MK5 t1_j1sebl0 wrote
Take your sex doll to work day.
toughguy375 t1_j1qty58 wrote
South Korea is worried about its low birth rate.
EfficientAccident418 t1_j1rhp0i wrote
The debate when they created that law would have been wild to be there for
AshuraBaron t1_j1rqmvy wrote
A local pervert was quoted saying "FINALLY!"
[deleted] t1_j1rroyi wrote
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Reble77 t1_j1rrmsj wrote
Is this same company that got banned tying to import realistic child sex dolls onto the UK and Europe
v3ritas1989 t1_j1sady7 wrote
This smell of the Japanese sex doll lobby!
Tooblicker t1_j1sqauw wrote
Looks like they dress the sex doll conservative for court. Even so far as to add glasses.
Majares t1_j1r5515 wrote
And to think..you still can’t buy a dildo in the state of Alabama. What’s that about the government interfering with private life??
Malphos101 t1_j1rsvod wrote
lol you most certainly can.
They are sold as "novelty toys", just like crackpipes/bongs/etc. are sold in many gas stations as "novelty tobacco glassware".
The only thing "illegal" is advertising sex toys from the road as "sex toys", and at this point I doubt anyone would be convicted of it once a judge rules it unconstitutional as it blatantly is.
GreenAnder t1_j1ryje2 wrote
Free trade we can believe in
nzdennis t1_j1s0ktw wrote
Most of them were used for the stadium during the pandemic
defusted t1_j1r4kik wrote
Oh thank God!
trolleyproblems t1_j1rm5cc wrote
Those football stadia aren't gonna fill themselves.
tenkensmile t1_j1rp0mr wrote
Cool cool cool
moviestim t1_j1s79gt wrote
Can’t wait for bring your doll to work day.
sts916 t1_j1sa94s wrote
R/uplifting news
anengineerandacat t1_j1sc7qr wrote
That is like... a really really bad sex doll, had the uh... interesting experience at a convention to bump into like a "modern" one and like if you had just enough booze in ya you would 100% think it was another person and supposedly they aren't that "expensive" either from talking to the owner.
You can get like a JAV modeled one for like 1.8k-2.2k; likely cheaper than an escort and far more re-usable.
defqon_39 t1_j1tv5e0 wrote
>Yea but I still wouldn't want to buy one second-hand or used -- for obvious reasons ....
Miserable_Site_850 t1_j1sfwyu wrote
Well thank you sex doll God, there really is a god...
TimmyStark_IronGuy t1_j1srx6j wrote
FINALLY
50shadesofjiggyfly t1_j1stble wrote
let me be the first to say, IT'S ABOUT TIME!
TossPowerTrap t1_j1suf0e wrote
"A man needs something when he ain't got nothing to hang onto"
36-3 t1_j1tl8hh wrote
That will depress the domestic sex doll industry
GrievousInflux t1_j1v1m7c wrote
Is no one going to acknowledge the sex doll sitting on a chair next to the government official? Just me?
guy30000 t1_j1r5qec wrote
Great! I'll finally be allowed in
The_Lions_eye t1_j1r8hzx wrote
That'll help their disastrously low birth rate...lol
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[deleted] t1_j1rl4hk wrote
[deleted]
Veraciraptor7 t1_j1s82ok wrote
Was this just a trade issue to boost the domestic doll industry?
[deleted] t1_j1sd5ma wrote
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Happypappy007 t1_j1srkfv wrote
The domestic producers must be crushed.🤦🏽♂️
Calm_Palpitation_558 t1_j1t81so wrote
Thank God!
laz21 t1_j1tj3u1 wrote
Top seller is the sucky fucky bukkake chucky model
[deleted] t1_j1tmdps wrote
[removed]
kitnb t1_j1trriw wrote
So much cooming 😳
Beautiful_Gate3184 t1_j1r0b7w wrote
A Christmas miracle!!
Neurocor t1_j1rqfxv wrote
Meanwhile the sale of single cucumbers are skyrocketting globally
KimBulgogi t1_j1qy2u9 wrote
Can they just legalize weed already. Everyone there wants to try it anyways
wewhomustnotbenamed t1_j1t6k4z wrote
People in that region has really ugly history with drugs. It still view very negatively and i don't think it Will change anytime soon.
mabhatter t1_j1tyqjy wrote
It's like drugs were forcibly pushed by a private corporation to destabilize the local government and create a dependent populace that was easily controlled and abused for 200 years.
Conscious-Charity915 t1_j1qhes7 wrote
They just do not make a decent sex doll FOR women.
LordOfTheStrings8 t1_j1qk0j9 wrote
Aren't there lots of sex dolls with penises?
Glum-Lavishness-4485 t1_j1sjj02 wrote
The problem is the realistic dolls for women tend to be too heavy for women to transport comfortably so they can’t quite use them as much as they might help.
LordOfTheStrings8 t1_j1slx87 wrote
Transport them... where?
AightlmmaHead0ut t1_j1sqav4 wrote
To the overnight place with the besties
ivan-slimer t1_j1qmmp9 wrote
Yea, but not for women.
LordOfTheStrings8 t1_j1qnvdf wrote
Yes there are. Literally Google sex doll for women. I just did and it took me 30 seconds to find some.
ivan-slimer t1_j1r5bwd wrote
In the US maybe
HeyMrBusiness t1_j1syu26 wrote
Being as like half of the ones here are imported anyway I think you can get over it and pay shipping
Falconflyer75 t1_j1rfyvk wrote
At the risk of sounding gross, I’m honestly surprised there isn’t a market for it,
women already get a ton of satisfaction from vibrators (usually more than they get out of the real thing)
U figure a sex doll with a vibrator attached would be basically unstoppable (u get the feeling of a body wrapped around u plus the…stimulation)
ivan-slimer t1_j1rh1jz wrote
Because we can’t suspend our understanding of reality the way men can. Guys go nuts over fake boobies, girls want to be known, seen and heard. Fake plastic arms doesn’t do that.
Vibrators are tools for masturbation, that’s completely different that replacing a mate with molded plastic.
Christofsky3 t1_j1rnkk1 wrote
Er Guys want to be known seen and heard too lol, dudes aren’t going for dolls if they don’t have to
Falconflyer75 t1_j1ru7ba wrote
That’s just it though, tone of women use vibrators for masterbation and like it, would a doll being used in a way I described not be something they’d be interested in?
It really should appeal to the same market as the vibrator market from my pov
TheyCallMeQBert t1_j1s6oev wrote
Just because you haven't been hugged since your mom died doesn't mean the rest of us don't need non-sexual physical intimacy.
[deleted] t1_j1sehz5 wrote
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Sensitive_Roof5158 t1_j1rzsx8 wrote
I know I can't prove this, but I'm sure women would prefer a plain dildo as opposed to a dildo with an entire male doll connected to it. Just mentally picturing this.
Conscious-Charity915 t1_j1sj8rh wrote
A sex doll for women would be very interactive because women really enjoy audio and scenarios, and I think men do too.
[deleted] t1_j1r1x89 wrote
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ztreHdrahciR t1_j1q1og0 wrote
They were previously protecting the domestic sex doll industry