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lochlainn t1_j7ix60v wrote

I chaperoned one of my kids' field trips there last year.

It's impressively large, and if you're into industrial goings-on, it's pretty interesting.

Short feature list: Extremely seismically and temperature stable, miles and miles of roads, railroad access, server farms out the ass, a strategic national cheese stockpile, and millions of eggs, plus a lot of unmarked buildings holding everything from paper records to the Ark of the Covenant, for all that anybody knows.

Oh, and they have to rent one part, the land under 65 is owned by the government, and the facility is on both sides of the highway.

TL;DR: Underground warehouses, if you're into that.

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formiscontent t1_j7iz4dk wrote

So for the record, the cheese is still there? Did you get to see it?

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lochlainn t1_j7izyvj wrote

No, we got to see the organic eggs. There were only a couple million of them. The facility could hold tens of millions, IRRC.

You haven't lived until you've seen the equipment to stack pallets of eggs on racks 30ft high.

I don't think they let the public into the cheese repository. You have to go downwind of the Kraft plant to verify the actual existence of said cheese.

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pjcanfield8 t1_j7j6x9m wrote

You’re making the logistics/storage/transport nut inside me go crazy right now lol. I know the underground has become a recent national fascination but I’ve been so fixated on it ever since I moved here a decade ago. Plus I got to run on top of it for 4 years in a row for cross country meets that were hosted by Springfield Catholic. The stupid cheese cave just has such a special place in my heart lmao

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lochlainn t1_j7j9v7q wrote

Join the Secret society deep in the heart of the Kraft bureaucracy, and one day, you too may be able to throw back the doors of the holiest of holies, the might cheese vault!

Seriously though, working cold storage sucks balls and they probably frown on taking a sample.

Or they have a cheese fountain in the breakroom, I dunno, I'm not a prophet.

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lochlainn t1_j7j9yxb wrote

Edit: and yeah, I get that logistics/transport thing. So many moving parts and people in so many different places.

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pjcanfield8 t1_j7je1bd wrote

Exactly you get what I mean. I know at the the end of the day it’s all just boxes and numbers being shifted around but it’s still amazing to me that humans have managed to utilize technology and computers to the fullest in the 21st century to move millions of boxes from one city to the other other side their country in under 24 hours with a pretty high rate of accuracy. The rapid rise of consumption and globalization that ties in with that is a bit unnerving (just due to the shear amount of CO2 emitted from cargo ships and planes let alone the manufacturing process). But at the end of the day like I said, it’s just cool that as a species we’ve come together to collaborate on these colossal boats or complex logistics chains to make everyday life happen. Really what it comes down to is that It’s the people I love not the billionaires reaping the profits off the backs of all our hard work. Sorry for the tangent.

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Low_Tourist t1_j7olkwo wrote

Our company imports some goods from China, and we generally use air freight. Once it gets loaded, it arrives from the factory to our offices in about 72 hours. It's nuts.

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Creepingdeath444 t1_j7jryxi wrote

If you want to go down there and just drive around, you can. Go down the Kearney entrance, there is an intercom right before you go in, hit the button. Security is going to answer, they usually just say something like "Underground Security" or "which building are you going to?". It really doesn't matter what the guard says, just say "Going to building 9" (you can use other buildings too, but that is just the building I go to the most so I say that) and they'll open the gate.

You obviously can't go inside any of the warehouses, but you can sort of just drive around down there if you want. Going later in the afternoon is probably easier because there is less trucks down there so there is less you have to watch out for. It's pretty cool to just look at imo.

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pjcanfield8 t1_j7kuwpc wrote

Oh no shit? I figured you had to have some proof that you have business/reason to be down there. I didn’t realize security was the lax, I might just have to check it out myself

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Creepingdeath444 t1_j7kx12f wrote

Nah, they're pretty chill. I go down there at least 2-3x a week for work stuff. I've never had to give a reason for going down there past "going to building [x]". Hell, you may get lucky and they might just buzz you in without ever saying anything.

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EyeOk389 t1_j7j34ri wrote

I've seen it. A warehouse full of cardboard cylinders filled wit cheese. Some have "Jarome" written on them. I would tell my brother to get "Jarome Cheese".... good times

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Dbol504 t1_j7ilm7s wrote

It’s not as cool or interesting as you think.

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Hardly_at_Work t1_j7j0jga wrote

Really? I toured it a few years back for a work thing and it was pretty cool. I had to wear a light jacket and it was the middle of July.

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name-isnt-important t1_j7il8nm wrote

Picture a warehouse facility but underground. What would you like to know? The Ehrlen Group owners and operators, are not at all secretive about it.

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Casual-Gamer25 t1_j7iqufi wrote

Conspiracy theorist milk it like crazy

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XzallionTheRed t1_j7lg3vu wrote

yep its the most bland basic thing it could be which for some reason attracts conspiracy nuts MORE.

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dannyjbixby t1_j7itx88 wrote

It’s…a big system of storage warehouses…that’s pretty much all there is to it. And no natural light.

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EyeOk389 t1_j7j3cg4 wrote

There's one area that has natural light. It's where the crusher once was.. it's just a giant open hole now.

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Creepingdeath444 t1_j7js2v5 wrote

I forgot about that part one day. I had my sun-roof open and it had rained the day before. Water was still coming from that opening and I drove right under it getting water all in my car. Not a lot, but enough to make me question my intelligence.

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Cthepo t1_j7ipn3b wrote

It's a pretty poorly kept secret that it's where the Springfield elite host their Tuesday orgies. Other than that, cheese.

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TurtleSoup58 t1_j7it45j wrote

I’ve been going to the underground for Tuesday night orgy. Glad the word is getting out!

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FatigueVVV t1_j7j5yai wrote

I've showed up every Thursday for the past three months to an empty room!

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TurtleSoup58 t1_j7j61zv wrote

Wrong T. Thursdays is Top Thursdays. See you tomorrow!

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Miserable_Figure7876 t1_j7issyr wrote

I was under the impression that the Tuesday orgies were hosted at Vantage Rooftop Bar on the top of the Vandivort Hotel. The logo is an all-seeing eye, after all.

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GundleFly t1_j7itrop wrote

A “scenic” view of downtown Springfield! Look at all the rusty HVAC!

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Cold417 t1_j7td8iv wrote

Sir, that'll be $12 for your Busch Light.

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XzallionTheRed t1_j7lghb8 wrote

I doubt anywhere in Springfield holds orgies.

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Ipuncholdpeople t1_j7tc5c0 wrote

Springfield has (or at least used to have) a pretty wild swinger scene and a decent amount of orgies actually lol

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XzallionTheRed t1_j7uga8c wrote

I have seen the pinapples but the number of people that don't know what that means has made that basically useless.

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evqnmchl t1_j7is4wz wrote

There's a 5k down there or at least there used to be

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toxcrusadr t1_j7muqe2 wrote

Did they serve up a big block of cheese after? Cause I would totally run a race like that.

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417SKCFAN t1_j7imqf5 wrote

It’s a nightmare to get down there in ice/snow

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Dizzy-Assignment-591 t1_j7iy6sk wrote

there’s warehouses, and cheese. but something a lot of people don’t know, there’s a ton of servers for some local businesses in there. with the underground being a lower temperature, and being enclosed in rock, it’s easier to control the climate and humidity to ensure those servers last a long time

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Maleficent_Price5346 t1_j7iw02l wrote

Bunch of companies have storage and server rooms down there. Coxhealth has their main warehouse down there, other than cavernous ceilings and a literal Underground Railroad it’s kinda ho hum

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charliebatutis t1_j7lgeoy wrote

The company I work for rents space in the data center down there. I've been on several tours. The data center is unique and impressive. I'm in IT so I prolly get more excited about data centers than most. The fact that it is so well protected because its underground and the temperature is consistent makes the facility unique.

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Wolverkeen t1_j7ixz3l wrote

The cheese storage room smells like cheese.

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QuarterInchSocket t1_j7iytt5 wrote

Not really. Smells like truck exhaust.

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Wolverkeen t1_j7iz36f wrote

True...I guess the whole place smells like exhaust, so I should say: The cheese room smells like truck exhaust AND a little bit like cheese.

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QuarterInchSocket t1_j7iyq7k wrote

I worked there in a place called KBC, one of the many underground buildings down there. Literally just means “Kraft Bulk Cheese”, but it’s not actually owned by Kraft. I worked there for 6 months and it was a stupid job. The place was kinda cool to drive around in for a minute. It’s huge. But it’s full of semis and exhaust.

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Zealous_ideas-17 t1_j7j1l27 wrote

The Springfield underground is a massive cheese storage facility.

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mm201201 t1_j7jdsiq wrote

There's a huge data storage facility down there. At the time that I worked down there St. John's had a huge off site facility located there.

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Anthony6253 t1_j7jyitn wrote

I would do anything to go down there and tour it or drive around. Any advice?

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RaulSalas t1_j7ktp4x wrote

How do I enter the Springfield underground’s

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BanTheGovernment t1_j7lc6h0 wrote

I know there's a document storage place down there who as not returned my phone calls yet... :S.

There's a pretty nice datacenter down there too with surprisingly affordable rates for rack space too!

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Bogeyman72 t1_j7j3neg wrote

Don’t forget the highway salt

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EyeOk389 t1_j7j3ses wrote

I worked there for awhile, installing pin bolts to ensure that the ceiling didn't let loose and destroy whatever was unlucky enough to be under the collapse. 101 baby!

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Guardias t1_j7j4b99 wrote

It was fun to ride a bike in.

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howiemia t1_j7j77oi wrote

Excuse me, who cut the cheese?

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psylosyren t1_j7j7zz2 wrote

Too many underpaid workers definitely moved the cheese.

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Riyeko t1_j7j7m7r wrote

It's dusty and damp at the same time.

It smells like deep earth.

Don't stare into the dark.

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my_monkeys_fly t1_j7j7rdx wrote

I used to clean an office down there, it smells like diesel fumes and is grimey, there is a filth in the air. I thought the train tracks were cool though

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CuriousLapine t1_j7kvpr6 wrote

Used to work in a production facility there. The novelty wore off quickly. Is there something in particular you’re curious about?

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TheFirstZigloo t1_j7kw0x9 wrote

It's filled with ghosts. Just warehouses full of ghosts.

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cammykol t1_j7kzk92 wrote

I've had to go down there a few times to pick up computer equipment it is of the most insane places I think I've ever been!

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minfold t1_j7m699a wrote

Strategic point for the illuminati obv

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trentevo t1_j7n8pp5 wrote

I worked there for a while. Not that exciting honestly.

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Cooldude588 t1_j7ngf0w wrote

Heard the Springfield Three were once buried there i don’t believe it.

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recetas-and-shit t1_j7rgw25 wrote

There’s a video from a truck driver on YouTube if you search

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bill_hilly t1_j7vn2ho wrote

It's where the aliens live

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Robodie t1_j8wqrty wrote

I used to work there and that was the most awesome place. Not the job - that was only tolerable because of the location. I tell you, going in everyday knowing exactly what kind of weather to plan for...so none at all, except for "cool"...was fantastic.

It's surprisingly bigger than you'd (probably) think, even if you picture it to be huge. Surprised me everyday. Semis look small driving through the tunnels. There's main roads, side roads, signs with directions, me driving around lost because shitty directions on signs, the occasional traffic jam...okay, so you might pass a few semis and maybe a handful of cars on your way to wherever...train tracks, parking lots, and at least one raging bitch that is probably still working alone.

It was awesome, but nothing is THAT awesome.

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