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TheReal_AlphaPatriot t1_j6ljxfw wrote

Yes, but MY keyboard has MY colony-forming units of bacteria that came from MY hands and I already have a good relationship with that bacteria. There’s nothing that’s going to kill me.

But it really grosses me out to use someone else’s keyboard. Or phone.

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wanawanka t1_j6lvr3x wrote

Seriously. Same with the whole flushing the toilet is like setting off a poop bomb in your bathroom. But like, if these were ACTUAL problems wouldnt we all be dying of dysentery and the plague?

Just wash your hands before you fingerbang strangers' mouths, and don't...hold your mouth over the toilet bowl when you flush like ur collecting snowflakes and I think we're all gonna just keep living our lives.

Edit: I'm not a doctor. This is speculation. But I just think there are more dangerous sources of disease.

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RussianTrumpOff2Jail t1_j6nb4c4 wrote

>and don't...hold your mouth over the toilet bowl when you flush like ur collecting snowflakes

On the toilet rn, will try to remember this.

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Shuggaloaf t1_j6nmpq7 wrote

How'd it go?

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ArchaKun t1_j6noqvm wrote

He's dead, Jim.

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Shuggaloaf t1_j6nte9c wrote

He died as he lived, by boldly going where no man has gone before.

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Tru-Queer t1_j6npebu wrote

Well ya see he hit the bowl with such force his log bounced out of the toilet and he choked to death. Talk about a way to go.

Smooth move, Exlax.

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nrfx t1_j6lm7pv wrote

Other people's keyboards are one of the grossest things I can think of.

Everyone seen that picture of the communal Fleshlight at burning man yeah?

Same energy.

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hobbitdude13 t1_j6lo27f wrote

>communal fleshlight

That is an unholy combination of words.

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DanishWonder t1_j6mlk7l wrote

Yep. That link is staying blue.

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Slinkyfest2005 t1_j6n7np9 wrote

It's pretty tame. Pretty sure it was just an art install designed to dredge horror in the mind of folks as opposed to an actual public toy.

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[deleted] t1_j6mi8cq wrote

Well what's your nickname huh? No one gets to pick theirs you know

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Starkrall t1_j6o6137 wrote

I saw a gamertag the other night that puts all cursed phrases to shame: DaughterMilker

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LowLeftMarksman t1_j6lms14 wrote

Ex fucking scuse me? Communal fleshlight?

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Mr_Yuker t1_j6ltkfk wrote

Yes it's for the community... Don't try to take it home with you sir

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peepeedog t1_j6lounb wrote

How else are you going to get aids by jacking off?

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Xszit t1_j6lmsmn wrote

The dirtiest place in the office is the top of the hand sanitizer pump.

Nobody touches the sanitizer pump because they have clean hands and I've never seen anyone sanitize the pump after they do their hands.

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I_wont_argue t1_j6mdw8t wrote

Do you just pump the sanitizer on your one hand and not sanitize the hand you used to press the pump or what ? You literally sanitize your hand 5 seconds later so it does not matter what you touched just before that.

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[deleted] t1_j6mibcm wrote

You wanna use my bar of soap after I rim with it?

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fml_ianal t1_j6mtqx2 wrote

You press the sanitizer dispenser with your asshole?!

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Daftworks t1_j6lz0v0 wrote

That's why our office has those automatic dispensers

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Lecanoscopy t1_j6me8gw wrote

Ha ha I do. I work with kids. Sanitize all the things.

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ShameSpearofPain t1_j6lmdnl wrote

Using one of those compressed air canisters to clean out the keys of a shared keyboard is so disgusting.

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shibaninja t1_j6lp0df wrote

Thank you for reminding me of that.. aaaand I'm done redditing for the day..

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jcozzy27 t1_j6m5rzv wrote

Can just imagine the sign shop taking this order holy shit!

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Mr_Yuker t1_j6ltgbz wrote

I've been dragging my balls across your keyboard for years at this point

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BCProgramming t1_j6lx2nu wrote

It's just me here, and my keyboard bacteria. Relationships will be difficult, but not impossible.

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technicalityNDBO t1_j6mzcdl wrote

Exactly. The bacteria got onto your keyboard from your hands. The same hands you'd use to rub your eyes, or pick a popcorn kernel out of your teeth.

It's just a stigma like with saliva. We spend all day swallowing our own saliva. But if we spit into a glass and drank it out of there, it would be gross for some reason.

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ChiggaOG t1_j6lpvfo wrote

Bet you didn't know it probably contains a colony of staphylococcus and streptococcus bacteria.

Source: Me; eating food right at my desk with my bare hands after touching my keyboard to get a canker sore a few days later. Also, I have gotten a sore throat.

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Devil_May_Kare t1_j6m6ugj wrote

A few percent of people are asymptomatic carriers of MRSA in their skin microbiome. MRSA can kill if a few things go wrong at once. It usually sits there being dormant or causing transient infections like pimples, because Staphylococcus aureus gonna S. aureus, but it can sometimes get into your soft tissue and lungs and blood and then kill you if not adequately treated (and adequate treatment is hard because MRSA is immune to a lot of our favorite antibiotics).

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Tankeverket t1_j6ml02a wrote

In/on/over ear headphones, keyboard, mouse, hats/caps, phone

These are very gross and my top 5 most gross things that you can use that aren't yours

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jooes t1_j6m5e10 wrote

Phones especially, people bring those everywhere.

Plenty of people jerk off to internet porn, phone in one hand, dick/vagina in the other. Your phone is covered in all sorts of bodily fluids. Maybe you wash your hands (and that's a big maybe), but you're not washing your phone.

Literally everybody brings their phone into the bathroom. Everybody surfs the web while they're taking a shit. Your hands are covered in god knows what, and then they put the phone down on the nasty-ass fucking counter, wash their hands (hopefully), and immediately pick it back up again. Why bother washing your hands if you're not going to wash your phone?

People bring them into the kitchen to follow recipes. Cut some chicken, scroll to the next step, wash hands maybe, dice some onions, scroll to the next step...

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WastefulWatcher t1_j6mekpa wrote

I literally wash my phone. Why not? It’s waterproof to that degree anyway.

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Dragmire800 t1_j6oc12s wrote

For $1 million, I’d eat my own shit, but I wouldn’t eat a stranger’s shit

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RedSonGamble t1_j6lmdcl wrote

Or toilet.

But yea just like you won’t get sick from ingesting your own feces. (Except in very rare/specific situations) Basically if it comes from you it’s fine to ingest.

And yes you can take this statement to the extreme and be like well if that’s only what you live off of it will kill you. Sure. But that’s not what I mean.

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SaulsAll t1_j6ljvut wrote

Which colonies are forming? Want to guess how many CFU are on your face? In your mouth? It's not the number, it's the type.

>recommends washing your hands regularly (and properly)

This is the proper take-away.

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Mr_Yuker t1_j6ltq32 wrote

No... Just periodically rub your balls with your hand to clean them off... The testicles germ colonies will battle and win against any competing colony

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jfpbookworm t1_j6lihqp wrote

Because most people clean their toilet seats from time to time.

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Jyel t1_j6mj7qc wrote

I clean my keyboard from time to time:(

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CTRL1_ALT2_DEL3 t1_j6ms3ou wrote

I know it's time to clean mine when the glass of wine tilts right over it, bridging? parts of the PCB and randomly activating keys. Luckily this happens about every fortnight, so my keebee is mostly squeaky clean.

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Declanmar t1_j6lqulh wrote

More importantly, people clean their toilets with bleach, which kills everything.

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throwawayfghtyu t1_j6n96w4 wrote

Porcelain is also an excellent material for anti-bacterial properties

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Brain_Hawk t1_j6lju24 wrote

There is a huge tendency to compare things to how dirty a toilet seat is, but your average toilet seat is pretty clean. We don't generally poop on them, if we do pay on them pee is pretty sterile anyway, and for the most part people tend to clean their toilets fairly often. When's the last time you disinfected your keyboard? Some of you will say yesterday, but some of you will say never. I might also say never.

There's some Lysol wipes right next to me but I'm too busy right now

:p

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Daftworks t1_j6lz7e6 wrote

Cleaning a keyboard is also quite a bit of tedious work. Especially if you have a lot of "debris" in there

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SomeIndividual1 t1_j6ma7e8 wrote

shit is full of bacterial, when you flush your shit, shit bacterial get all over the toilet sit

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Rich4477 t1_j6m4ruf wrote

I worked in a food plant with the cfu swab tester. the sole of my boot was far cleaner than the shared computer mouse.

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Devil_May_Kare t1_j6m4bv6 wrote

The probiotic supplement I deliberately ingested this evening has something like 10,000,000,000 CFU. CFUs are not equivalent to dirt.

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Bloka2au t1_j6llhuz wrote

What an unhelpful comparison.

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Radiobandit t1_j6ov4zy wrote

Right? Guaranteed 99/100 people would still (Rightfully) choose to eat something that fell on their keyboard over something that sat on their toilet seat.

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kupuwhakawhiti t1_j6lz2h5 wrote

Ok, I’ll spend most of my working hours on a keyboard and you can spend yours fingering a toilet seat. We’ll see who gets sick first.

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SniffUmaMuffins t1_j6lis62 wrote

People should stop pooping on their keyboards

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picado t1_j6liw9b wrote

Great, now I'm anxious about the keypads at the grocery.

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dam_sharks_mother t1_j6ly76j wrote

Apple Pay w watch or phone. I refuse to touch those things, disgusting.

0

I_wont_argue t1_j6mixv4 wrote

Same here, I also refuse to touch anything from apple, it's disgusting.

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MPFX3000 t1_j6ljkew wrote

Well yeah I don’t pick my nose while I’m taking a dump, I do it while writing emails

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fargmania t1_j6nlyuh wrote

Please define "dirtier". I'm fairly sure that bacteria is on just about everything on earth. I'm made up of several pounds of bacteria right now... and this is not just normal but healthy.

If a toilet seat is covered with e.coli, monkeypox and streptococcus... I'm going to be more concerned about that than how many of them there are. The type of microcritters you are likely dealing with... matters.

Lastly... I don't know anyone who has fallen ill from using a keyboard. Or for going to the toilet, for that matter. Unless you are immune-compromised, and you don't engage in basic hygiene... you are probably going to be fine.

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5spd4wd t1_j6lybao wrote

At least once a week I turn my keyboard upside down and give it a few raps on the desk to dislodge anything stuck between the keys. Then I wipe it thoroughly with Clorox disinfecting wipes. So my computer keyboard is not anywhere close to those bacteria numbers. No one's needs to be.

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ronflair t1_j6lzpm7 wrote

I bet my yogurt also has more CFU than a public toilet seat. But my yogurt also is far less likely to give me monkey pox.

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Warboss17 t1_j6ly1bk wrote

Idk, all my coworkers arent taking turns taking a shit on my keyboard

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Joshudan t1_j6lojam wrote

Sure, but I don't eat sandwiches over my toilet seat!

well, except that one time...

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iskin t1_j6lons3 wrote

Why would you eat over the toilet seat when there is a perfectly good table attached to the toilet?

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Joshudan t1_j6ngh5v wrote

lol, I never thought of that! Genius!

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Drugsarefordrugs t1_j6ly3qm wrote

From a laptop-user perspective, how can I operationalize this info so that my keyboard can be more sanitary?

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egres_svk t1_j6pae9i wrote

Wash hands before using it, don't eat or snack while working. Does wonders.

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V6Ga t1_j6np1xa wrote

172*20,589=3,541,308

Jus' saying.

I think your calculator has a virus.

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Gandalf32 t1_j6ns98a wrote

See, working in IT, and after touching countless other's keyboards, I gotta admit I rarely get sick. Doesn't bother me at all.

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Picolete t1_j6ohjzu wrote

I still dont understand what some people do over their laptops to get them so dirty

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Gandalf32 t1_j6ombvj wrote

I've seen it all, coffee spills, dog food, soda, alcohol, you name it. They just treat their keyboards like an extension to their placemat on the dinner table I guess.

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JumpyButterscotch t1_j6lmyd1 wrote

Wait til you hear about kid toys in the dentist office!

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I_wont_argue t1_j6mj77u wrote

>Wait til you hear about kids toys in the dentist office!

FTFY.

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BinaryRhyme t1_j6lnmyx wrote

... likewise your kitchen washcloth. ;)

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lakshmananlm t1_j6lozvq wrote

And this is why we have healthy immune systems.

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Foghorner t1_j6lp913 wrote

It’s not in the seat because it’s on everyone ass cheeks

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RDMvb6 t1_j6lponl wrote

But no sweaty fat men have sat on my keyboard. If you had to lick one of them, I’d still rather lick a keyboard.

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OneSidedDice t1_j6lzg85 wrote

I got it from the Control key

It jumped right up

And grabbed my meat

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Ginge00 t1_j6m36mp wrote

This is why I take my keyboard home at night rather than using the supplied ones. Also mines worth several hundred dollars.

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thorpie88 t1_j6m5s2a wrote

There's only seven keys we need to use on the keyboard and they are far cleaner than the rest because of it. It's annoying when someone wipes the sawdust off as I can remember the inputs at first

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stenmarkv t1_j6mbcx3 wrote

Isn't this because people don't clean their keyboards regularly?

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mikefever90 t1_j6mcqym wrote

still not a good idea to eat out of a toilet bowl.

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Slurm818 t1_j6meuvv wrote

OP doesn’t clean their keyboard apparently

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Getdeded t1_j6mf7ft wrote

Your keyboard maybe. Alcohol in a spray bottle

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abby_normally t1_j6mfpb3 wrote

Now tell me how dirty my smartphone screen is.

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RyanNewhart t1_j6mgt5z wrote

LPT: Stop wiping your ass with your mousepad.

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demoran t1_j6mhwo9 wrote

And here I am, not caring about either. How am I even still alive?

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LiesInRuins t1_j6mjv3j wrote

I just tried typing with my toilet seat and it didn’t work.

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IssacHunt89 t1_j6ml11a wrote

Those are just numbers, nothing about the fact the different bacteria on the keyboard Vs toilet.

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d-signet t1_j6mlb77 wrote

You guys have separate keyboards and toilet seats?

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Clemen11 t1_j6mmq6e wrote

I read this, quietly got up, headed to my toilet, and brought back a pack of anti bacterial wipes

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shortercrust t1_j6mngcr wrote

I always think the toilet seat comparison is weird. How dirty is your toilet seat? The only thing that touches mine is my bum, which is pretty clean. It’s not like I smear poo all over it.

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made3 t1_j6mnwr6 wrote

I am honestly not sure why I shoud give a shit.

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I2eB6L t1_j6mvrxi wrote

One is dirty, one is shitty

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Beatless7 t1_j6mvvd8 wrote

Have you seen my toilet?

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kgyula t1_j6mxpjn wrote

I told you 9.58 million times don't exaggerate.

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gellenburg t1_j6n5ikz wrote

172 seems awfully low considering all the shit spray from the toilet that we're supposed to now be worried about. Or, maybe that was all actually bullshit and clickbait.

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BlackNosedOwl t1_j6n7h3l wrote

That is why I don't type where I eat.

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cote112 t1_j6n9epx wrote

I try to disinfectant wipe mine once a month.

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AltonIllinois t1_j6o5vj6 wrote

"How likely is either one to get you sick" is the only metric that counts.

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humblepotatopeeler t1_j6oduvy wrote

it's no surprise since u spend all day breathing on the thing.

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kurizma t1_j6oq4vn wrote

it's the quantity, but the quality.

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pewpewpewouch t1_j6ot7ff wrote

Wait until you find out about that waterbottle you have on your desk.

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Ethereal42 t1_j6oxpjs wrote

I was contemplating this the other day, your ass is perhaps the least touched and exposed part of your body, meaning a toilet seat cannot possibly be dirtier than a handle or keyboard etc

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Defiant_Dirt_31it3 t1_j6oyij5 wrote

Dear god don't flip over your keyboard... please or use a duster on it. Things come out that you don't want leaking.

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Siggi_pop t1_j6p251f wrote

Has anyone considered that toilet seats, regardless how close to bare anus, are generally very clean?

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According-Classic658 t1_j6pb35e wrote

I worked at a start-up. Dozens of people in a large dark room. Months went by using the assigned computer they gave me. The lights were turned on for the first time and the fucking filth that was on there. Stains all over it. The previous person that sat there ate a sandwich and a large piece of bread had been stuck under the space bar.

I found a new one in storage and lysol the fuck out of it.

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icanith t1_j6pgc0p wrote

When I think of dirty keyboards, I can't help but think of Gattaca.

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geo22717 t1_j6phiu3 wrote

not if you wash your hands bfore using it & wiping it down with alcohol every other week also wash ur phones every other day with soap & water, its not hard to be clean

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iskin t1_j6lov8p wrote

I clean my toilet seat with disinfectant before and after I use it. I clean my keyboard every morning with disinfectant before I start my work day. So I clean my toilet seat 2-6 times on a normal day and my keyboard once a day. Checks out.

1

SomeIndividual1 t1_j6mac7v wrote

Just remember, whenever you touch other people's phone, keyboard and mouse. there will be jizz on it, cause everyone crank it out

1

fuzzy9691 t1_j6mkhp6 wrote

I hate these stupid ‘factoids’.

Yeah, a toilet seat, a twenty dollar note, a phone, a door knob. Whatever.

It’s not the AMOUNT of bacteria that matters; it’s the type. Shithead.

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RedSonGamble t1_j6lmgn0 wrote

Wanna guess what the dirtiest part of the human body is? 🤗. Go on guess

0