Alternatives to AA

Submitted by thebestbytina t3_zxuptj in washingtondc

I don’t know if this is an appropriate thread. I want to turn a page in my life but found AA to not be in alignment with my belief system (i.e. atheist). What are the alternatives here in the local area? I feel quite rundown.

Edit: Thanks so much for all the suggestions and help. I honestly hope others are able to turn a leaf and welcome the light in these opportunities. For me, it’s complicated. I went to a therapist 5 years ago after my trauma (emotionally abusive ex) who told me my dad was an alcoholic. Me getting treatment would be a flaw and devastate my dad. My dad is my world and I would rather spare him more heartache. I will call the Kolmac center in the morning. I won’t do it if they blame my parents. They are children of trauma due to Jim Crow laws in the south. They are doing the best they can. They truly are just emotionally abandoned children. It’s just too much to bear. On paper, life is perfect for me. But yet I still drink…

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fergiethefocus t1_j22g3ie wrote

SMART Recovery (www.smartrecovery.org). Plenty of meetings all over the DMV, both in-person and online.

Atheist in recovery here, SMART has been extremely helpful for me

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BansheeLoveTriangle t1_j22hell wrote

Couldn’t remember the name of it, but I think that’s the one I’ve heard mentioned when atheists want a non spiritual option

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fergiethefocus t1_j22hpfl wrote

SMART is more science-based, and also uses concepts from cognitive behaviour therapy, as well as rational emotive behaviour therapy

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kevin_from_illinois t1_j22mgv7 wrote

I can't refer any particular groups but I did want to offer my best wishes to you, OP. Seeking help demonstrates strength of character. If you haven't already, consider discussing your situation with family or friends who might be able to provide additional support. They want to see you conquer this, too.

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Mebo-000 t1_j22nq3l wrote

FWIW I consider myself an atheist yet have been sober in AA for over 8 years. I've never experienced any psuhback or conflict over that fact - especially in DC. If you want to chat DM me, I'm happy to help if I can.

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OldRooter_06 t1_j238g1h wrote

I'm also basically an atheist, and have been sober in AA since 2006

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fattnessmonster t1_j24e1ph wrote

DC recovery is great for this, so many meetings with like minded people. Everyone just wants each other to live well. Reach out if you need to OP

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jabroni26 t1_j23pkg0 wrote

Yeah, I am religious, but my first sponsor was an atheist. In DC meetings there's probably more open atheists than say, Baptists or Catholics.

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buggywool t1_j22w5qz wrote

No advice just want to wish you luck!

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hockeyjoker t1_j238174 wrote

I would really check out Kolmac Clinic - It is an absolute commitment in that it is intensive on intake, and, if you choose, there is a 2+ year process of group therapy.

Having tried AA, CBT, rehab, psych wards, etc. - this one sticks and provides an approach that includes everything from neuroscience to practical approaches to sobriety

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ImNotTheDeepState t1_j241at7 wrote

+1 for Kolmac. 10+ years booze-free over here and not involved in AA or other groups. The Kolmac approach simply worked for me.

Edit: Typo

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downward1526 t1_j22jpu0 wrote

Definintely find a meeting, and check out r/stopdrinking too. Good luck.

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DesaturatedRainbow t1_j23l2qa wrote

Good luck on your journey! We are cheering for you to find what you’re looking for.

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Knock_turnal t1_j23lf97 wrote

Depending on your insurance, I’d look into Kolmac. Their IOP program is really good. Currently transitioning out of it, but i wouldn’t be sober if it weren’t for them.

Also, good luck and you’re making the right choice!

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biglobstah t1_j23tkcl wrote

Maybe ask your doc about prescription Naltrexone. It's helped me very much

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adifferentvision t1_j24nzfp wrote

I got sober 16 years ago, here in DC, and at that time there was one "atheist" AA meeting but it didn't work for my work schedule, so I went to another random one that worked for my work schedule. (there may be more now, though) Though others who are atheist in this thread said their AA experience was okay, I found the meeting I went to overly jesus-y and couldn't go back.

I got sober with nothing but talk therapy, so I would suggest that if you don't do a formal program, you look into one-on-one therapy with a psychologist.

It took sheer brute force of will to push through those early months, but it's so worth it. For me the biggest benefit of doing it without AA is that I don't have to make/believe myself to be "powerless over alcohol". I wasn't then and I'm not now, and that's a direct result of doing it outside that system. And as a result, I can be around people drinking with no problem, still have a fairly normal social life, which is amazing.

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thebestbytina OP t1_j25rnza wrote

I just don’t want my life defined as an alcoholic. I drink too much out of a traumatic experience 5 years ago and loneliness. I just need to accept it though.

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adifferentvision t1_j25yktz wrote

I think you don't have to have your life defined as an alcoholic. I think you have to recognize that right now it's not possible for you to drink in a way that's not problematic if you are to the point where you're feeling like you need to quit.

And I think it's absolutely reasonable to hope that at some point down the line when you've dealt with your trauma that you may be able to have a totally normal relationship with alcohol.

I think that's a benefit of doing it outside of the 12 step system, you get to define it. In the same way that you define your relationship to alcohol. Part of the reason why I did mine outside of the system was that I didn't want to have a relationship with alcohol that placed it as a danger in my life for the rest of my life. I didn't believe that I was powerless, and in fact when I quit drinking I kept alcohol in my house from that day forward. Even during the darkest hardest part of quitting I did not drink even though the alcohol was right there. That is not powerless. And I've been more than 16 years without having a relapse. I changed the way I related to alcohol. And it's not a danger for me to be around it or for me to be around people that are drinking... Because literally minute by minute, day by day, in those early days anytime the urge came up, I made a conscious decision to not drink. And I've never said to myself or anybody else that this is forever. Just that in this moment I am not going to drink.

More than 16 years later I still am not saying that I'm never going to drink again. But I don't drink right now. And it was a great decision for me. Lots and lots of really wonderful stuff happened once I got that in order.

For me, that was kind of the point of the whole thing, to prove that even though I was weak and I had an issue at that moment, I was in charge of whether I drank or not.

You know you best, and you know what you're capable of, and you know what your trauma is, so you know where the work is. So just do the work, and do it on your own terms. Define your sobriety and whatever way you want. And as you're going through this remember that this is about you taking the best care of yourself that you can.

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BoreasRiver1 t1_j23lffp wrote

That “higher power” in AA can be anything of value in your life. Family, you marriage or other important relationship, etc. AA is full of non-believers. Sober since 2015. Best of luck and a big virtual hug for trying.

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SmoothlyNeurotic t1_j24u4o9 wrote

This right here OP. I had similar reservations, but was able to put those aside thanks to a like minded sponsor and deciding what the “higher power” was on my terms.

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aurora4000 t1_j245m97 wrote

r/stopdrinking is a good sub

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jfenbaz t1_j246h7t wrote

Got about 5 years, in AA and don’t believe in any traditional religious stuff. Try it out, a lot of people in the rooms are the same way.

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artzbots t1_j24fyxl wrote

SMART recovery for sure, and the Kolmac Clinic bases its program off of SMART recovery ideas.

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fullmetaldreamboat t1_j26je6q wrote

Refuge Recovery and Dharma Recovery, not sure which or if both have chapters in DC. There is still a spiritual secular Buddhist component but there is not an emphasis on some concept of a hierarchical “Higher Power.”

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AlphaStormyFire t1_j270r2v wrote

Sober here. I was turned off by AA at first because of this and gave it another go about a month ago and was shockingly surprised about how many people are not actually Christian’s in AA. Reach out if you need someone to talk to :)

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messmaker523 t1_j2488ac wrote

Plenty of atheists in AA/NA. DM me if you want me to suggest a few groups in DC.

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zoom100000 t1_j2640ng wrote

Thank you for reaching out for help! Best of luck on your journey.

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Ancient_Gain1658 t1_j2417yc wrote

Wanted to echo what others have commented: AA and the principle of “higher power” does not have to be a god. Look more into this.

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neil_va t1_j25245w wrote

How long has it been a problem?

There have been some really promising studies using psychadelics to help with alcoholism you could also look into. (Do this legally and safely if you do it).

Also are you seeing a psychologist/therapist?

Good luck to you. Either way I suggest trying to develop as many healthy habits as you can around sleep & exercise, and STAY SOCIAL. Lots of studies seem to show that loneliness can really exaggerate addiction conditions. In general I just feel like you have to tackle the roots of the trauma causing addiction.

Please note that I'm not a medical professional and this is not medical advice.

If you ever want to join some non-drinking activities feel free to message me. I've cut alcohol out by about 90% for me (though i didn't have problems in the past, just don't like it anymore)

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thebestbytina OP t1_j25rb5n wrote

I had a traumatic episode 5 years ago and the habit grew. I’ve been to therapy but the habit lingers out of boredom and loneliness.

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