Well you know you can't stay with him, and in this place in general. It won't get better, so you need a way out.

Do I need to state the obvious? He doesn't value you enough, and takes you for granted.

Without proper respect for each other, and placing each other before your families relationship has no future. Well it has no future that isn't toxic.

He should defend you to his mother, express he is upset, and her behaviour is awful, and openly malicious.

Alternatively, if he really wants to ve able to stay where he is, the very least he should do is to admit to you how terrible his mother is.

If you want this relationship to survive you need to explain it to him, but he is likely to deflect.

Honestly what you really need is to move out of there, if he wants to be with, he needs to follow you in this. If you need sone time that us fine, pretend everything is fine, while already working to find other place to live.

This the advice you should listen to OP. He isn't as good partner as you think, if he is fine compromising your happiness for his ego.

First of all, those videos are delusional. They are selling simplification of reality where "they" (being women in this case) are the bad ones while you (men) are the good ones. Complete waste of your time.

Besides if you were to date a cheater, she would find a way to cheat regardless of your effort. Opportunity does not create cheaters, it only enables them. Conversely if she faithful, she will be so without your supervision as well.

Addressing alcohol issue. Yes getting dead drunk in bars/clubs can lead to many bad things, and cheating is far from the top of the list. However, it depends where would they go to, it's not every place is some pit full of predators. Not to mention they will be together in all girls group.

You have left her hanging and insecure about future. How she acted at that time is no indication, how she will act in relationship with you. Appreciate that you have her.

Move on from R, by cutting contact. Think about obvious giveaways she was manipulating you, and terrible in general.

Failure is for most people natural part of process of seeking their forever partner. Accept reality for what is, take some time as single to get over it, and start dating again.

S has as, you noticed, already moved on from you. Her relationship might fail at some point, but don't think it will necessarily mean she will want to immediately get with, in fact she might not want you anymore in general. Just don't take her affection for granted.

He is toxic, and unhinged. If someone decides to guilt trip you into staying with them it is big sign to really leave.

If someone is blackmailing with unaliving himself threats, you paradoxically need to run away immediately, and cut all contact. Are you willing to give up your life for him? If "no", then don't do it. If he devudes to unalive himself it us own choice, and you are in no wsy responsible for that.

The issue I imagine he has is that he suspects you can be hiding more. You have never confessed your cheating, so it is understandable.

There isn't a clear way forward, you can't prove absence of cheating by definition. He might decide to stay or not. If he does, he might never fully trust you again and want quite a few things from you that will be rather controlling.

You have been willing to accommodate to her constantly changing her mind only to be ditched like that.

Let emphasize, she does not want to spend her birthday with you, even though you have been willing to do whatever she wanted on it. I may be a petty man, but sometimes you should be petty. I think you should be upset.

>What should I do, I'm definitely not going to drive separate from her to meet her for her birthday and roll over like I feel like I have been for most other fights.

She does not respect, because you act like you do not mind being disrespected. That is how it works, if you do not respect yourself other people will not respect you either. I think you should break up.

Yeah right. You can't tolerate lies like that. I think you can see why she did that, actually.

You should leave her, unless you are fine with her cheating on you. Alternatively, if she gets really invested in staying with you tell her to block him on everything, no matter what impact it has on her job. After giving it a thought it's probably not enough, they still work together.

Better would be her quitting her job as well. Logic is, we know why she has done her deeds. I am of the opinion people can occasionally make wrong decisions and regret them. However, to ensure they do not repeat, such decision must have direct negative consequences.

XD

She tells you she loves you so much she will fuck that guy and only be faithful to you when you are around. Please, have some self respect.

I guess you do not mind being cheated on, actually? If you decide to stay I would check marriage laws regarding children in your country. You know, in France for example being not biological father to child does not mean anything you still are forced by law to be his "father".

Sounds like a terrible person. It does not matter whether he is cheating on you right now. At some point in future you will argue or be in a worse place in general. At that point he will go find somene else on the side.

Do not waste your life on him.

It can be possible if all sides are polyamorous. Pursuing other people when in relationship with monogamous person is just cheating.

You can't. Simply state you will be a monogamous marriage or will not be marriage at all. You can start divorce immediately, you suspect something us already going on.

Leave her. You should have done it long time ago. Why are you upset she is treating you like a doormat, when you do your best to convince it is indeed what you are.

I don't know, even when I was in countries with tipping culture, I like to pay the price I can see listed. If you want me to pay more, then raise the price instead of expecting charity.

Sort of? You see with smaller stuff I really think I should be free to be honest about things, if I can't that is a red flag. For example if I am supposed to go with them help to choose clothes I can just tell them they look good like a robot, but that is not the point. If I am actually engaged it means I will inevitably tell them they don't look good in some clothes, again if I can't do it without them having meltdown I will take as sign to run away.

As for feelings that I recognise/thoughts that are hyperbolic, inappropriate or just wrong I try to keep them to myself. If they are stupid thoughts I will get over them soon enough, if I can't do it it means I need to address them regardless of result. In your case you should have shared how you feel, but not in the way you have done it.

Now for me your complaint is just petty, she has fallen asleep even though it was appropriate to situation. It can happen to people, it has happened to me before. You should have just told her you wanted her to make you feel special on your birthday. Even better it's a conversation you should have had before this day and you could discuss your expectations then. You might find it strange, but it isn't from my standpoint. I really do not put much significance to my birthday or other such dates. Now it's fine if someone has their expectations about me, but it's really something I prefer to ask them beforehand. Including what things would they consider being good gift for them.

Communicate with her how you feel and how you would like for things to be going forward, do not get stuck on the past, it's just silly. Of course, if you have proper talk in advance and then your partner completely ignores them, then that is a red flag and you should leave.

He could leave no tip what so ever if it's a dealbreaker for you, he should leave you and look for someone more sane.

There are feelings you shouldn't share, but most them you should share with partner. It does not work well with some people. Unfortunately truth is your question has no one answer because answer varies from person to person.

There are people frustrated that their partner does not share their troubles and feelings, because they want to help them and fix issues that will never be fixed unless it is first adressed as being an issue.

It's fine for them to be friends and stay in contact. If you are still insecure ask your bf to organise it so you can meet his friend too. He might be hesitant worrrying you plan to be rude to his friend so you should assure it is just to help you get over your insecurity.

It might mean she wants to ear her cake and have it too. With current arrangement she doesn't need with your sexual compatibility issues while having you there in her life.

I think you shouldn't let this situation last too long. At some point you need push her to make decision whether she wants to get back or stay apart. If she would wish to stay apart you should distance yourself so that you can get over her and eventually find a serious partner for you.

You can't make a liar tell the truth. If you need confession to break things off then let me tell you, you will never get one. Just break up with her. You don't need to explain yourself to her, she doesn't deserve it.

Being fair to her fiance is fine and all l, but this advice is supposed to be in your interest. If( only if) you do want to pursue her I think you should do something that will make it clear to her. Leaving her with no choice, but either reciprocate your feelings or reject them. If she acts ambivalous then you should distance yourself letting her knows you aren't interested in being some side guy. If she does reciprocate as not be evil about it pressure her to make decision whether to get with you and leave her fiance or if she wants to stay with him than while also meddling with you then you need to run. In this case she is a hoe.

If she just rejects your feelings than disrance yourself from her. Things will be awkward, but there is no potential reward without potential risk.

Usually when your partner doesn't care about you you break up with him. You should have answered he should ditch his friends do what he promised.

You have enough sensibility to know he is shit partner, yet feel inclined to "apologise" to him for not being fine with that? You care far too much, perhaps in general. It doesn't matter he had toxic background if he has no intention of correting his ways. He doesn't even see his mistakes. You don't owe him anything. His problems are his own.

You also lack assertiveness. Have you ever told him upfront that he is acting in a toxic way and your behaviour is normal in relationship not his? Now, being his therapist in general is not what I would advice to you , or anyone else. With that said, not everyone can be changed with kind words alone. Sometimes you need to be both brutally blunt and consistent in your behaviour to make someone change. Again, it's not for you to do, it would be harrowing and traumatising experience.