Now we're off on a tangent. You se(,)cant you?

Or adding them? I refuse to drink in my new rec room. I won't give in to my addition.

Why was the commercial fisherman struggling financially?

Because he had a triple net lease, maybe?

Why was the professional sperm donor struggling romantically?

Because he didn't want to work at home, maybe?

I don't know. So sue me like Gwyneth Paltrow.

Is that why prospective male teachers are not encouraged to develop good grooming habits?

I like the way you think ahead.

That's the sensible way to meet your goals in life: revise your goals as needed.

Didn't Archimedes really say, "Yo momma so fat, give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall still not be able to move her fat ass"?

Lucky you didn't use one of the ball cleaners they have on golf courses.

Coffin boffin?

That joke was probably written in long hand.

It's what makes family mealtime togetherness so important.

Makes that "til death do us part' thing a bit more ominous.

Little Billy sure is precocious.

Not very good camouflage, but still scary.

Like the reference, but points off for spelling. It's Itt. (Shows up in lots of crosswords.)

After all these Bad jokes I need a bath.

You can't comb them, but can you shave them?

On the rocks.

Thank you for your service. I'm with you. I like "shitgibbon".

Is this CDC approved?

I'm surprised Hank would need so long to come up with the cash. Usually janitors clean up.

Maybe it was Hank that was long.

Sorry.

They just let you do it when you're a celebrity.

Do gay birdwatchers look at nuthatches? Not that there's anything wrong with that.