Submitted by riverjack_ t3_z2sbm9 in Jokes
"Table for twenty-six, please."
"There's only thirteen of you."
"Yes, but we all like to sit on the same side."
Comments
SometimesStable t1_ixi3vls wrote
Holy shit, that’s a good one.
stillnotking t1_ixiarwj wrote
Judas: "Hey Jesus, you coming to the last supper?"
Jesus: "The what?"
Judas: "I mean the supper, are you coming to the supper?"
jordantask t1_ixilp1v wrote
“Hey everyone dinner’s on Judas tonight. The Romans gave him 30 pieces of silver.”
mpdukes15 t1_ixjdv9v wrote
It was the Sanhedrin, not the Romans.
BlindsightBlue t1_ixjgz1g wrote
Just supper with the fellas.
Klutzy_Albatross_528 t1_ixji3ss wrote
Gold hahah
mojoman718 t1_ixjorms wrote
This is actually much better as a 0lain old joke than the meme.
Doschupacabras t1_ixjp31q wrote
I laughed
Terrible_Special_877 t1_ixjqovt wrote
Pathetic
Gabriel_Collins t1_ixjucni wrote
Robin Williams RIP
vacationrefunder9 t1_ixjucx6 wrote
Maitre d: "OK, I'll do it for you this time, but only this time."
Judas: "Not a problem."
CorgisDie t1_ixjuo0n wrote
Easily one of the greatest comedians of all time.
supacrispy t1_ixjuyck wrote
Easily the greatest comedian of all time.
FTFY
Glorified_sidehoe t1_ixjv00a wrote
read it in his voice :(
CorgisDie t1_ixjv53y wrote
I only say that because George Carlin and Redd Foxx also lived.
jimmysnaps t1_ixjvun7 wrote
supacrispy t1_ixjvvtw wrote
Oh dont get me wrong, they are in the pantheon of comedy gods. But I think Robin Williams is the Zeus of them all.
chowching t1_ixjz8u4 wrote
Romanes eunt domus!
Odd_Adhesiveness4804 t1_ixjzf44 wrote
And jesus said I bet I can feed all thirteen of you for less than a fiver
roominating237 t1_ixk3wnd wrote
Romani ite domum!
broken_neck_broken t1_ixk46mr wrote
People called Romanes, they go to the house?
[deleted] t1_ixk4mbq wrote
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TheStatMan2 t1_ixk77df wrote
... but he's getting a bit handsy and playing loose with the wet kisses.
cherryhilljawnz t1_ixk784t wrote
Roman could be pronounced ramen
TicoCR16 t1_ixk7hpf wrote
I don’t get it
burningburnerbern t1_ixk7sld wrote
Sorry to be that guy but can someone explain?
CorgisDie t1_ixk814p wrote
It was a joke Robin Williams made back in 2003, in his stand-up special, Live On Broadway.
JayColtMartin t1_ixk8719 wrote
I think you missed the joke
Copper_Tree t1_ixk8f66 wrote
I think you did
buddycheesus t1_ixk8jfi wrote
That’s stupid
classless_classic t1_ixk8lmb wrote
The painting of the last supper, they are all sitting on one side of a very long table, that could in theory seat 26 people.This painting
%2FThe-Last-Supper-Restored-Da-Vinci_32x16-5c5e3d3946e0fb000127c86f.jpg&cdnurl=https%3A%2F%2Fth.bing.com%2Fth%2Fid%2FR.db108ca8f9484cd0054c1e75f40fde94%3Frik%3DaP%252fGLL%252bYDGUEFA%26pid%3DImgRaw%26r%3D0&exph=2000&expw=3556&q=last+supper+image&simid=608038868516626301&form=IRPRST&ck=1802A7FE8796AD50049D48180AF4A671&selectedindex=8&pc=APPL&vt=4&sim=11){kind=link}
JayColtMartin t1_ixk8vop wrote
Wow that's quite the claim! Personally I'm not really sure how he compares to all the comedians that were around before recording devices, anr the ones who arent from earth, so I'll just have to take your word for it
diggitygiggitycee t1_ixk902z wrote
Well, when you let a man buy you dinner, what do you expect?
TheStatMan2 t1_ixk9d4w wrote
I would argue that I was sending out signals by demanding he pay for my 11 other buddies as well, but he wouldn't take the hint. He's on about hanging around "until the cock's crow" but I'm gonna get Pete to try to get rid of him. Although Pete's pretending not to know me...
I asked Thomas if he thought Judas was behaving normally. "I doubt it", he replied.
berkeleyjake t1_ixk9uf7 wrote
I wonder what the corkage fee would be for that.
sriracha4przdnt t1_ixkauis wrote
If this is satire, you're doing it so right.
wead4 t1_ixkaxjq wrote
*13 waters, no ice
Xak_Ev01v3d t1_ixkcjah wrote
You only need a table for 24 if you’re sitting 11 people on one side, and 1 person at either end.
I don’t care about your “ok but the OP is talking about them all sitting on one side, not at the ends” argument. First of all, the actual painting clearly shows 2 men sitting at the ends of the table. Second, that would still be a table for 28, not 26.
dgrimone t1_ixkd3eq wrote
Zeus, by which means? While the leader/king/ruler of the Greek god's he was also the worst at maintaining fidelity. While married to his sister he produced many offspring with others (some not even in human form).
JaniSensei t1_ixkdcfx wrote
I think I did
tazzietiger66 t1_ixkdj12 wrote
Waiter "do you want water or wine ?"
Jesus "what is cheaper?"
Waiter " water is free , wine is 3 shekels"
Jesus " water is fine , I will do the rest "
icepyrox t1_ixkdraa wrote
Also needed to keep one side clear for the after dinner party
marless2 t1_ixkep0t wrote
sriracha4przdnt t1_ixketlo wrote
I hear what you're saying. I also think of Rodney Dangerfield and Mitch Hedburd among the greats too.
Dunge0nMast0r t1_ixkews0 wrote
Fus roh dah!
PBmeup t1_ixkfdzs wrote
Who’s Joe? I thought it was Jesus.
Homework-Cultural t1_ixkfrch wrote
History of the World: Part 1 join us next time for Hitler on Ice. Watch Jews in Space. And the greatest joke of the entire movie...... no part 2.
Changingchains t1_ixkg6iy wrote
Yea, but you always get a bigger table so you can spread out. Isn’t that what Jesus is gesturing for…..telling the guys to spread out?
Snoo_53364 t1_ixkiolk wrote
Why you all talking about Joe Mama jokes?
GeronimoSTN t1_ixkiswt wrote
nailed it.
wyntah0 t1_ixkitnk wrote
Good. Now write it 100 times to make sure you remember.
reindezvous8 t1_ixkj1e6 wrote
come on! theyre just taking a group pic!
Here_for_my-Pleasure t1_ixkj1lt wrote
HA!
roominating237 t1_ixkj27b wrote
Or I'll cut your balls off.
beeucancallmepickle t1_ixkkm96 wrote
Source Robin Williams live on Broadway
SweetJonesJunior t1_ixkl694 wrote
IAmFireIAmDeathq t1_ixkl92x wrote
He’s mocking Judas for asking, because he knows it’s Judas that will betray him.
andrewavax t1_ixklev1 wrote
I will turn that water into wine!
No you don't Jesus you cheap bastard, you can buy a round like everyone else.
orangesfwr t1_ixklnl6 wrote
Frankincense lol
pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixkmp7a wrote
Wouldn't it be 28?
Reasonable_Highway35 t1_ixkmweq wrote
That joke is older than him but he owns it for sure.
Apprehensive-Newt415 t1_ixknhgi wrote
r/UnexpectedMontyPython
missiledefender t1_ixknl1e wrote
Tables can take many shapes. “Bench for 26” would work better.
Wiki_pedo t1_ixko5hb wrote
I think we were hoping for an explanation of the punchline and joke, not where to get (as in, watch) the joke.
Practical-Day-6486 t1_ixkobve wrote
Jesus knew though
rificolona t1_ixkp5c4 wrote
I'm slow - what's the joke?
jorigkor t1_ixkpczo wrote
Well. Robin did do a lot of cocaine, so who knows what little Robin ended up in.
autistic-username t1_ixkphfq wrote
where'd you get 28 from?
mountaingoatgod t1_ixkpz70 wrote
13 on each side, 1 on each end
Xak_Ev01v3d t1_ixkq2ib wrote
If you can seat 13 on one side, that’s 13x2 plus 1 at the foot and 1 at the head… equals 28. Why are people bad at math.
autistic-username t1_ixkq8cc wrote
ah, i was thinking of one of those tables slide up against the walls that you see at restaurants and stuff, not an open table. Not necessarily bad at math!
Spankapotamus42 t1_ixkqg73 wrote
It's for the 'gram. O.G. influencers.
DARKMAYKR t1_ixkqswq wrote
Seriously overthinking a joke
Iamfabulous1735285 t1_ixkr6nz wrote
That's gonna be the last supper
Sptsjunkie t1_ixkryeu wrote
And that’s how restaurants in Jerusalem became the first to charge a corkage fee.
iam_alittlestitious t1_ixks1hu wrote
Restaurants don’t want you to know this one trick!
iong99 t1_ixks841 wrote
12 disciples + 1 Jesus x 2 = 26
pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixksa63 wrote
I know that, but how about the chairs at the ends?
The hypothetical table would be 13×1 right?
CrazyFanFicFan t1_ixksk8i wrote
It.. It says "Romans, go home"
Maleficent-Data-8392 t1_ixktq3d wrote
Oookaaay.... Peter, go out to the lake and get a fish. You'll find the money for the tab in it's mouth.
ShrewdGuitar472 t1_ixkurlq wrote
[deleted] t1_ixkva6m wrote
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TechnoRat63 t1_ixkvgom wrote
Caesar si viveret ad remum dareris.
iong99 t1_ixkvytb wrote
The painting “The Last Supper” depicts them all sitting on the same side of the table (all faces, no backs of heads) so they would need double the seats to facilitate this need
JesusWasATexan t1_ixkwygm wrote
Look up the famous painting called the Last Supper
Smileyface8156 t1_ixkx1j2 wrote
It’s a reference to a famous painting of the last supper where everyone is sitting on the same side, hence them needing a table of 26 chairs for 13 people.
lazernanes t1_ixkx8j6 wrote
Highly influential bunch
TheCookieMaster5 t1_ixkxrih wrote
The first line is something Jesus says during the “Last Supper.” The joke is that he’s mocking Judas for even asking, both knowing full well that Judas will be the one to betray him
Dinrik t1_ixl0h5z wrote
Right I know I assumed. But still why would they need 26 chairs on one side of the table? Or does it mean that they need a table that is made for 26 people? I think I finally got it on that second theory lol
burnur12 t1_ixl1pnu wrote
But that’s not how restaurants work. You don’t go into a restaurant and say, “Chairs for 4, please.”
PrudentDamage600 t1_ixl39eg wrote
At least there’s no corking fees.
phreaky76 t1_ixl3wz3 wrote
aph81 t1_ixl486i wrote
Irony is that Simon was Peter, and Peter betrayed Jesus (by denying him three times)
Ok-Feeling-9999 t1_ixl4gei wrote
It wasn't supposed to be the last supper.
Jesus grabbed the wine and said "drink from this for this is my blood" Then Jesus grabbed the bread and said " eat this for this is my body"
When Jesus started going for the mayonnaise thats when Judas said oh hell naw!
monkeydoodle64 t1_ixl4lwy wrote
Nailed him.
pokeboy626 t1_ixl4poa wrote
Family guy made this joke
Pkrudeboy t1_ixl4rst wrote
No it doesn’t. What’s Latin for Roman? Come on!
monkeydoodle64 t1_ixl4vlh wrote
Maybe jesus wanted to sit at the end but changed his mind
OneRealRomeo t1_ixl54hz wrote
We’ll have one piece of bread and a glass of wine please.
AngJlie t1_ixl65ot wrote
"Et tu Judas"
Tiger-Snark t1_ixl7koj wrote
Romanus!
Regthedog2021 t1_ixlb02t wrote
Jesus trip advisor review - this is definitely the last time I’m coming here
Didn’t like the service It made me cross
Rae-K t1_ixlbdvy wrote
I really want this to get 666 upvotes
Shevek99 t1_ixlbofv wrote
icespaz t1_ixlcqat wrote
You got.... Paid?
Petshpboy17 t1_ixlemv8 wrote
Yes!!!!!! Lol
Economy_Cake2263 t1_ixlg15u wrote
Yeah but what about the other 13 chairs
MajorLobon69 t1_ixlg283 wrote
madroots2 t1_ixlh90x wrote
It was the jews, not sanhedrin, actually.
Shevek99 t1_ixlhgz8 wrote
Giotto was more reslistic than Leonardo
https://drrichardstemp.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/2020-07-12.png
jerryhallo t1_ixljngp wrote
They can’t stop you from ordering a steak with a glass of water!
DarthScotchy t1_ixlma67 wrote
Who asked or cares?
Clean-Willingness-28 t1_ixlmt2a wrote
and became the big M....the meal.....
Patio_Orangutan t1_ixlnt17 wrote
History of the World pt 1, Mel Brooks is a waiter at the last supper. Funny scene, this reminds me of it.
mizinamo t1_ixlpjzl wrote
callinoutretards t1_ixlpx84 wrote
28, counting the heads
Luked0g44O t1_ixlrjq6 wrote
Jesus walks into a motel, tosses three nails down onto the counter, and asks the manager: “Can you put me up for the night?”
Luked0g44O t1_ixlrqeb wrote
Buddy Hackett and Jonathan Winters.
andreworg t1_ixlt8cj wrote
Rombuttholes?
Mandopress53 t1_ixltt36 wrote
Whimsical-Hamster t1_ixlux2c wrote
Goes like?
BlissardII t1_ixlwabr wrote
Romani, ite domum
?
yeryva t1_ixm0myw wrote
No that is 14.... (12 disciples+1jesus) x2=26.... kids now a days don't know proper math 😝🤪
eaglewatch1945 t1_ixm5py0 wrote
This is no good. All I got is the backs.... Okay... Everybody wanna be in the picture, get up and go to the other side of the table.
s_k_a_r_t t1_ixm79vp wrote
cynicaljoe t1_ixmajk1 wrote
Simon and Peter are the same person
olddirtymurch t1_ixmbho0 wrote
They can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water!
BlueGillMan t1_ixmczuz wrote
And Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce bridged from the old vaudeville tradition to modern stand-up comedy.
Let’s go to the church bazar and see the two headed priest.
His Australian tour was cut short for being too vulgar.
He was tame compared to what we hear today.
Ekimklaw t1_ixmjf74 wrote
Your mom.
Acceptable-Junket-48 t1_ixmjmh0 wrote
There my contribution
DarthScotchy t1_ixmlgle wrote
She is atheist, and yo mama jokes and old now
Like yo mama, who was Hitlers art teacher
Ekimklaw t1_ixmna1f wrote
Yep, and she was Stalin’s piano teacher as well!
DarthScotchy t1_ixmndy2 wrote
My joke was that caused ww2 because she was so bad at doing shit
[deleted] t1_ixmnyjz wrote
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[deleted] t1_ixmo5a3 wrote
[deleted]
cherryhilljawnz t1_ixmo7fk wrote
Is there any other ramen?
[deleted] t1_ixmowuu wrote
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pdrpersonguy575 t1_ixn0ezh wrote
I just got it, I was trying to imagine a flat table until I understood that they don't need that many seats lol thanks
MajorLobon69 t1_ixn3b0o wrote
Hell no brother
Tw3lv3Th1rt33n t1_ixng0q8 wrote
All these G.O.A.T. comedians and no one mentions Pryor.
DocRogue2407 t1_ixno42i wrote
George Burns? 😍
According_Point7082 t1_ixnsvhf wrote
You know Simon and Peter are the same person
eganvay t1_ixor7h5 wrote
According to Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor was the king.
Rae-K t1_ixpikh6 wrote
I meant the Jesus comment that I was replying to, but thanks :)
Longjumping-Many4082 t1_ixq2a35 wrote
But what about Mary Magdelune? She was also in DaVinci's painting so 14x2=28...
Jose_Zueco t1_ixhvwyc wrote
LOL