Submitted by dubdoll t3_125i0vz in LifeProTips
My 34 year old sister has been single the majority of her adult life and for the past five years has been very firm on not wanting children.
She began a relationship with a great guy 9 months ago and is now constantly bombarded by her friends asking her if she does want kids now. Her answer is still a solid no.
Some people don’t want to have children and that is completely acceptable, it’s nobodies business but their own.
Please also don’t mention it to people with existing children. I have 1 child and cannot have anymore and get asked all the time when we’re having #2. Never. It’s very painful to get this question asked by complete strangers all the time.
Just don’t ask people about their fertility.
I hadn't thought of this before. Sending love 💛
We’re over 2 years into our fertility journey with our second kid. It blows my mind the number of people who think it’s okay to tell us “your daughter is getting old, you should really think about giving her a brother or sister”. Mind your own damn business!
We had our daughter 10 months ago and people began hassling us on when we were going to have another after 1 month. I've started asking people if they're going to push the baby out of their vagina.
The fudgecake people even have to do with anyone's homely, internal, personal, super personal matters? People are dumb. If anyone would ask me a question like that I'll not spare them any respect and go ballisitic with my tongue.
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This is good wisdom
>not when they look pregnant
faaaaarrrrk we've all been there, so embarrassing/s
The world needs more people like you 💕
Family planning is NEVER anybody's business except the family that is doing the planning. I never even asked my own sister, I let her tell me when she became pregnant 4 yrs into her marriage, at age 36.
You can ask, just don't be upset when my list of reasons takes the rest of the day to explore.
Thank you!
Wife and I are, always been, and always will be childfree. How hard is it to just say okay when someone says they don't want kids. It's really irritating when someone says "oh you'll change your mind, or there's still time, or it'll be different when it's yours, or you never know". Yes, I do know, I've never wanted to or even thought being a parent would be cool, enjoyable, or something I want.
ALSO, maybe they haven't had a kid or don't want kids because they actually can't have them, and the comments about how they can change their mind could be really hurtful.
Exactly!
My sister said her friends were saying all those things and almost trying to convince her why she should want them. It’s not the 1950s anymore, if a person doesn’t want kids, they don’t have to have them.
It wasn't appropriate to ask in the 50's either but people will do what they do.
Oh yeah for sure. But it was basically assumed that that’s what you would do as a woman.
Can I stop paying taxes too if I don't want to? Who cares about the long term consequences for the rest of society as a whole, right? After all, my own ego is the highest authority there is, and absolutely NO ONE has any right to hold any expectations to my behavior or decisions...
I salute you. I’ve seen too many parents that, in retrospect, hadn’t really thought through if they REALLY wanted kids or not.
I feel like the only reason they ask is because misery loves company. Look, children are nice and fun, but there are many moments where they are just too frustrating, especially when you are not ready. It seems that they ask because they have someone to vent about their kids.
Maternal mortality/morbidity is a serious issue that most don't consider. We're constantly hit with depictions of childbirths where nothing goes wrong in tv/shows/books, etc. The reality, is that there are a lot of cases where things go wrong, or where women know up front they have conditions where even trying to carry a baby full term could pose a risk to their life.
So this subject matter could be a sensitive point for medical reasons, not even just a financial or social pressure reason.
Wife and I used to get comments like this all the time. We’re both only children and never had the desire to have kids. Got tired of hearing the comments and one time someone asked why we didn’t (and I had been thinking about putting it this way for a while just to see what would happen) I just blurted out “..cause we fucking hate kids.” Let me tell you how quick that conversation ended. No like malice towards the person asking, just a “I don’t even like other people’s kids, why would I want my own”. Funny thing was, the people asking laughed, said “fair enough” and that was that. Try it sometime, it’s hilarious because most people are expecting some sort of well it wasn’t the right time, or something about finances, etc. The DO NOT expect that answer.
I’m a woman, and I don’t get the question too often, not sure why. But when I do, and I say No, I really love it when they (usually complete strangers) say:
“Oh, just wait until you hit 30. Your biological clock will start ticking then, and you will change your mind.”
I love grinning at them and going:
“I’m 33 already, I think my clock might be busted.”
I suspect the same thing will happen once I hit my 40’s, and people will shift to “Before you know it, you’re 40, and it’ll be too late! That’s when the panic will start to set in!”
I got shite genes, but the one thing we got right, is visible aging. I mean, we all die long before the national average, but whatever. And we don’t even make pretty corpses, because of the bad genes fucking us up in our final years. But at least we look younger for longer!
I saw a great video on social media called “What If We Talked To People With Kids The Way We Talk To Childless People” and it had the person asking questions like “what if you change your mind but it’s too late and now they’re just living in your house?”… “How are you going to take care of yourself when you’re old and have no money left cause you spent it on kids?”… “I know you guys say that now, but if your partner changes their mind later would you be willing to out the kid up for adoption?”…. Really shows how dumb these interrogations of child-free people really are.
Feels good to know that I am not the only person who is going through this, thank you for sharing your experience kind stranger.
>How hard is it to just say okay when someone says they don't want kids.
Hard, because I consider it to be completely deranged and destroying our future piece by piece.
Are you actually serious? 😂😂
Actually got asked once: “But if you don’t want kids, then why did you get married??”
Uh…”B-because we love each other and want to build a life together. Isn’t that why you got married?”
Smh.
I figured it was so if either partner ended up in the hospital the other would be able to visit and make medical decisions. I’m sure there are other spousal privileges that a piece of paper grants but I don’t know offhand what they might be.
Tax benefits in certain countries :p
They are actually huge. In addition to being a health proxy without having to verify tons of paperwork, and taxes, inheritance is important on many levels. Stepped up cost basis on real estate. Claiming on higher earner’s social security. Not having to fight off other family members for your own stuff.
Build a life together?! See you DO want children! /s
This is exactly what my MIL asked when we told her we were engaged.
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No most people get married because they have children or the relationship is dying? If you’re in a healthy relationship why spend all that money just to prove what was already proven you guys love each other.
Lmao. My husband and I spent 100 bucks on a marriage license and now we are legally considered family for medical/ insurance purposes. If we plan to live together long term, why wouldn't we do that? We get to file our taxes jointly and when one of us is in the hospital, the other has the right to visit or even to make decisions if necessary.
We don't even slightly want kids.
What's this about spending a lot of money to prove something?
to be fair, marriage is not matter whether you want to have kids together or build a life together. It is just a waste of money and putting unnecessary pressure on the couple. I have been single for all my life (27), and even though I wish to have a Life time partner, I feel stressed whenever thinking about getting marriage
Eloping is a stress free and as cheap as you want to make it way to tie the knot. Our 'wedding' cost like £400 in total and made life a ton easier when it comes to visas etc (have a tendency to move around a lot).
The thought of a big wedding terrified the both of us 😂
Same here. My fiance proposed last year and it only took me 6 months to have a breakdown and say I never want a wedding or to be married on paper. I (27F) don't see it as something that benefits me in any way that using a lawyer to gain some of the legal privileges can't also benefit me.
People just have a hard time understanding that not everybody wants/needs kids. We own a dog and that is already a hassle when going on holidays or wanting to sleep in. Can't imagine having to be responsible for another human being. People who want that in their lives, sure, go for it. Just don't feel the need to convince others.
Lol so many trips missed because of dogs... Mine have severe separation issues we are workign on and until just this last few months I could not leave them alone.
Kids are 10x worse, have to watch them little buggers 24/7 for years ;)
I have two dogs and the latest they let me sleep in is 8:30 if I’m lucky. I also had both as puppies and hated the 3 am puppy potty breaks during potty training enough to say I’ll never get a puppy again.
Babies and kids are so much harder than puppies. Why would I want a kid if I barely made it through the puppy months.
I love my dogs so much but seriously, puppy training is exhausting!
how is this a life pro tip? This is just manners.
You'd be shocked at how many people do not possess these.
Sometimes people are just angry at someone for doing xyz and then they post it as Life Pro Tip by typing don’t do xyz.
While that is true this one is a pretty common issue, there are a lot of people that don't seem to be able to be keep their opinions about having kids to themselves even after being told by someone they don't want kids. My partner and I don't want kids and have both heard the "you'll change your mind" etc etc many, many times from many different people from both close friends and family and acquaintances. And when we say no we don't want kids we often still get condescending responses like people know ourselves better than we do.
My partner gets the worst of it since she's the one that would actually be having them. I feel like this one is a proper LPT, a lot of people out there need to hear it.
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It’s hilarious when you realize OP is essentially saying “You know what makes me a professional at life? I don’t ask people if they want kids. You’re welcome.”
Totally agree! But - some (too many) people think "It'S jUsT sMaLl TaLk" 🙄 instead of a very personal decision/situation that is none of their business
That’s pretty much the majority of posts in this sub now. “I experienced something I didn’t like, so now I’m going to tell people not to do the thing I didn’t like and pretend it’s a life pro tip.”
This is an anti-life tip.
Replace 'children' with 'degree' when responding. "Oh when are you getting your degree. You will never regret it and it is never too late". Of course this all happens in my head. But maybe someone else can use this tip.
Or tattoo.
"When are you getting a tattoo? Everyone has tattoos. And it's not too late, you can still get one. And you'll never regret having tattoos. And it really isn't as painful as you think. I know so many people with tattoos and they're so happy."
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When people ask me why I don't want kids, I tell them the same reasons I don't want to move to Ohio. I've never had interest in Ohio, I've never wanted to live in Ohio, especially for the next 18-20 years, while I don't have anything against Ohio, necessarily, I don't really like it, and I'm not going to move to Ohio just because other people want me to/think I should.
On top of that, there are quite a few people that are unable to bear/have children. So bringing that up constantly could be a sore subject
Having raised several (awesome) kids, I can say that I totally understand not wanting to.
It’s a TON of work, financial drain, emotional drain, relationship strain, etc, for a couple decades.
I’m glad I have a bunch of cool kids (adults) to hang out with. But I’m also a little sad I didn’t get to travel more, or experience more museums/shows/beaches/etc.
It’s a trade-off. I don’t regret my choice, and I understand the child free appeal, but it’s nobody’s fucking business either way.
Absolutely! My eldest is 5, and that’s when she really decided she didn’t want kids lol she saw how hard of a job it is, even though it is rewarding.
While I would love my kids to have cousins I would never, ever ask her if she now wants kids and I absolutely understand why she doesn’t want children.
Isn't five a little young to be making a decision of that magnitude.
/s
This has nothing to do with what you've said.
I just wanted to say I like your username.
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My theory is that so many people didn’t want kids either, but society made them believe they had to or else they were selfish for wanting a life dedicated only to themselves instead of kids. And now when they see people making the choice they wish they had made, they get upset that they were “forced” to take a family role to not upset the societal status quo that they didn’t necessarily want and are now a bit jealous to see the life they could have been having. I say “forced” not because someone directly forced them to get married and have kids, but the societal pressure to make a good family and a good Christian home always has kids.
My mom would always hit me with the usual “oh, I didn’t want kids when I was your age either, but you’ll change your mind.” whenever I said I never wanted kids. My mom used to be outgoing, loved playing sports, going motorcycle riding, having out with her best friend (her husband) and other college friends. Then she had kids and “had to sell the motorcycle, played way less sports and didn’t get to hang out with friends as often because she was taking care of her kids full time at home while my dad was going to school full time still to be a medical doctor.
Personally, her parenting skills were pretty gross, very rough for me at least being the youngest of her kids. But I have always had the impression that she would have been such a happier person if she hadn’t traded in her life for what society told her she had to do to be a good wife and person.
I would much rather my mother had not had me at all because she seemed to resent motherhood when presented with the idea that others didn’t have to choose it based on other people’s perception.
I've always known I didn't want kids. My parents and friends both know I don't want any. It's other people that don't believe me when it's brought up.
Thank you for this.
We happily childfree people don’t ask people who want to have children “are you sure?” and we sure as hell don’t ask people with children “did you change your mind?” or even more mean, whilst a child is acting up, “do you still like having kids now?” or “have you changed your mind now?”.
The decision to have or not to have children is deeply personal and is no one’s business. Let people be who they are.
Its a pro tip to not annoy the shit out of someone?
It needs to be because this happens to child-free people all the damn time
Absolutely agree with this LPT. People need to respect others' decisions and boundaries, especially when it comes to personal topics like having children. It's important to support your friend's choices and remember that happiness and fulfillment can be achieved in many different ways. Pressuring someone or constantly asking them the same question can create unnecessary stress and make them feel invalidated. Just be there for your friend, regardless of their choices, and let them live their life the way they want to.
People are jelly and want others to have to do what they did. That's why.
Yep. I get that from a lot of old people. "You dont want to get married and have kids? Oh youll change your mind." No the fuck i wont sharon. Im not paying 8k after insurance to have my body torn apart or cut open and then never get a moments peace for a large portion of my life.
In America, $8k would be a low figure too lol. I think we paid $12k and the original bill was $40-50k. This is pre-COVID so I imagine it is worse now.
Key thing is after insurance. It really depends on the hospital and the company, But your probably right. Apparently a CT scan in the ER alone costs 6k.
That was my after-insurance cost ($12k). The $40k-$50k was pre-insurance.
>Nah I ain't cream pieing the bitch
That'll shut grandma up.
I'm 31 and never wanted children and still don't, my partner even had a vasectomy! But no, people still asks us because a vasectomy is reversable...
I've even thought about getting hysterectomy myself after many abortion bans were instated. I haven't thought because it seems like it's more of a process for women to have it then men to have a vasectomy.
As someone that’s going to be a dad soon, after 7 years of IVF. I will never ask someone why they aren’t having kids. It was tough when I would tell someone I was married, and their first question was “so when are the kids coming” or “why don’t you have kids yet?” And it was hard explaining that having kids naturally is almost impossible for some of us and it’s not that easy to talk about.
I'm very tall. We are solidly child free.
The amount of people (read: boomers) I've had come up to me and my GF and exclaim "wow you're gonna make some tall babies!" Is downright fucking creepy.
I swear parents only start pressuring their friends because they want them suffering right alongside them. If it was so amazing and fulfilling, they wouldn't be trying to talk their friends into it, they'd be with their kids unable to pull themselves away because, again, it's so amazing and fulfilling.
Because people thought she changed her mind once she started dating?
I get not doing this to strangers/ coworkers, but do you all really have such limited relationships with your friends that you can't discuss inportant aspects of each others lives?
"I don't want kids."
Ok. waits 20 minutes Hey, have you changed your mind about kids yet?
"Still no"
Ok waits 20 more minutes How about now?
I think getting in a relationship has a significant enough chance of changing a person's desire to have a kid where it can't be compared to just 20 minutes.
Maybe you need better friends?
And maybe you need to realize that nobody is about to cut off contract with their family because one auntie is nosy
Did I say you need better FRIENDS, or you need to cut off contact with your family?
Seriously. The principle behind this “tip” is, apparently, don’t talk to your friends about personal things.
I agree with the whole “I don’t like when family members try and pressure me into having kids” sentiment, but this is just going way too far.
The post implies they haven’t asked about kids in years, and are only bringing it up because a big milestone in their life has happened.
I don't think I agree that not asking (or "not being able to ask") indicates a poor relationship. I think what would indicate a poor relationship would be needing to ask, and/or feeling like if you didn't have the information somehow you weren't worthy, as opposed to the person just not considering it your business.
edit to clarify: by "needing", I mean feeling the need to... Not that they aren't volunteering the info without you asking
I don't want kids. Everyone tells me I'm gonna change my mind when I'm older. I'm 36. It's hella annoying and stupid 😒
I think it's good to let these people get a clear, concise response that is the emotional equivalent to them touching a hot stove. Protecting them from embarrassment never teaches them to stop this antisocial behavior - not just with you, but with other people. We need to make this prying just as socially taboo as casual questions about your sex life.
There are quick responses that hopefully train them - through embarrassment - not to pry, like:
"The answer to that question is immensely painful for me. Please never bring it up again."
"Wow. Why would you think such a private issue is your concern?"
"That's off limits. Let's change the subject: what are you planting in the garden this year?"
Literally, I’ve known since I was like 11/12 i don’t want children. I’ve been dating a guy and about to move in with him so we had the talk and he also doesn’t want children. I was telling my best friend how good it feels to be on the same page with someone I’m getting more serious with and she goes “we’ll keep your mind open to changing” .. like no this is why we had the convo before moving in because it is not changing
Thanks. I'm almost 30, partner almost 40. I would absolutely love if everyone and their brother stopped asking us if we changed our minds, and reminding us that we're "running out of time."
I agree 100%
There are so many reasons for not wanting children, many of them are personal health reasons that people do not want to discuss with others. It is often hard to deal with this personally and having others question you about it can be very hard.
My Uncle and his wife decided to not have children due to a large chance of severe genetic issues. I have known a few people that will remain childless, I don't know why, it's none of my business if they are not sharing.
Excellent LPT:
To add to this...If a person or a couple has one child, don't nag them about if/when they are going to have a second. I know couples who chose to have one and feel pressured by family/friends to disclose their plans to provide the child with a sibling...In some cases it's a financial thing, or a fertility thing, or the first one was so tough, they aren't sure they want to do it again. The constant questions as the first one becomes 3,4,5 years old can be tough.
LPT: Mind your own fucking business. If they volunteer some information, they've invited you to chat about that.
Note: This is not pregnancy/children specific
As someone who’s child free and still incessantly asked this for 3+ years with no end in sight, THANK YOU
It’s very invasive and honestly just weird.
The basic human behavior tips are so strange to me.
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If they want to tell you more they will.
Man, I feel for those from cultures where invasive questions about children are just common place.
LPT: People need to mind their own business.
Then why do people care so much when someone avoids taxes or operates an illegal enterprise?
Thank you! As a childfree person I can attest that being harassed about having kids is incredibly annoying. It’s not anyone’s business. Each person has to make the decision that’s best for them!
And to add to this, if someone tells you they don't want children, don't tell them that they'll change their mind some day. As a 30 yr old woman in a long term, committed relationship, I've grown quite sick of the number of people (especially other women) who have told me I'll change my mind some day or that if I do happen to get pregnant that it'll make me think differently about it. No, just no. At this point, I've had two IUDs for a total of 8 years. My current one will be replaced this summer for another 5 year one if I can't find a child-free friendly doctor to give me a permanent option. And if I can't, I'll just try again when the next one comes out. And if I do get pregnant, I will get an abortion. It's as simple as that. I make enough money to handle whatever obstacles that may pop up given the current trend in pro-life legislation. I have no qualms about getting it done, getting pregnant would not change my mind about it, it's no different to me than any other necessary outpatient medical procedure.
Sorry that became a bit of a rant, I've just become more and more irked about the whole thing recently because it happens so frequently. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an ablation soon so I can make people uncomfortable when I tell them about it as a response.
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Marriage is the other one. Within a month of dating my first girlfriend all my stupid married/engaged friends started saying “you’re next herr herr herr”. Yeah righto.
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I’d never ask someone, anyone, not even my own kids - about their kid plans.
I literally don’t care. It never even enters my mind.
My sister always told me she didn’t want to have kids so I was shocked when she and her husband announced her pregnancy. Granted she told me this in college and I never asked her again lol. Anyway I’m a very happy uncle now.
Lol, If they are my friend I would ask them anything I feel comfortable asking them.
Your friend should be comfortable enough to tell their friends how they feel.
Her friends should then respect the request.
If this doesn't happen then there is a boundary issue and I would question if they were actually my friends.
Imo shitty life pro tip.
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I have an uncle & auntie, one of which never wanted to get married but wanted kids, the other wanted a marriage but never wanted to have kids. They ended up doing neither, I guess both technically "gave in" but in a different respect to what people would imagine. They seem happy enough, but I do think both would have made great parents.
This isn't a protip. Friends discuss things, even intimate things.
Starting to feel like LPT’s are mostly just people posting their pet peeves.
Had a collegue that said to me, someday u wil have childeren when u find a better wife.. seriously fuck that guy
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I don't want kids and never have. I don't mind people asking. I just am far louder and more animated when I go into my rant about my reasoning. Trust me. Your sister will shut them up if she wants to.
She may not be able to have kids and keeping it a secret as well.
Yeah my great aunt and uncle didn’t want kids and they never did and the bloodline ends with them.
It depends on why they previously told me they didn’t want kids. If they said “it’s because I’m single”, then I will certainly re-ask one time if their relationship status changes.
If they said “I hate kids”, then I have no reason to ever bring it back up.
In addition to "mind your own fucking business", which I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, I think the real LPT here is let the other person introduce and steer conversational topics about them.
That's the last subject anyone wants to hear.
The wife and I joked if people asked us when we're having kids at the wedding, I had some prepared responses like "well not in front of everyone", "you're not my type", and "do I need to call you when we make that decision or something?" Luckily no one did.
That's not something you change your mind on from meeting the right person. You meet the right person who also doesn't want kids. Making someone else change their mind about having kids when they don't in your relationship is not a healthy relationship.
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Ya, I've been through that. My wife and I were both against have any but were constantly asked if we were going to have children and are still asked the same stupid question from some people we meet even though we are in our 50's. We do both look much younger than our actual ages but it gets to be more than annoying answering the same question hundreds of times...
THANK YOU!!! That's what I'm saying! I hate bringing up the topic of kids with people because they are ALWAYS trying to convince me otherwise. 🙄 Even my best friend and therapist. Like no. I don't want my uterus stretched and have morning sickness and be carrying a child for months. I don't want to hear them cry at 3 am or I have to stop working to stay at home with them. My sis got 5 kids and that's a good enough excuse right there not to want any of my own. I'm just firm with what I want. And kids ain't one of them. Just respect the decision and let it go. 😤😤😤
I don’t want kids but if my wife does I’d be okay with it tbh
I’ve always wanted kids, and I found a partner that felt the same. Even with that, I had my first child in 2021, and he is my heart and soul, but these past two years have been some of the most challenging in my LIFE. If someone doesn’t want kids, absolutely more power to them, and they shouldn’t have kids, because I can’t imagine going through all this after never having wanted it in the first place. Being a parent is HARD and kudos to those people who have recognized that it’s not something they want. Everyone is entitled to choose how they live their lives, and having kids isn’t the only option to be happy!
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Agreed. Super dick move to ask this.
A lot of these life pro tips that gain traction here are just “never talk to anyone about anything ever”
If anything would make her double down on telling herself she doesn’t want kids, it’s asking her. It’s like asking someone why they don’t leave their abusive partner constantly.
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It's true, it's none of your business.
Also, on a side note, you need to establish with your SO if you want kids or not at the BEGINNING of the serious relationship.
Currently have a friend who doesn't want kids but their SO does. It really does break or make a relationship. Just figure it out EARLY and not later.
Great, that’s the 100th LPT about this, this week. Thanks again
I will just tell them they are single-handedly causing the demographic collapse of our people, stealing the future of younger generations, and should be heavily taxed and penalized.
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I took my husband's last name because I knew that if we do ever have kids, they'd automatically have his last name, and he didn't want to change his name to mine. Ever since then for every family gathering my brother would be asked when he's going to find a girl and have babies so he can "continue the family name."
He was 20 when I got married. He couldn't even legally drink yet and our dad and uncle expected him to have babies? This has been going on for nearly five years. He told our mom (our parents are divorced) how he feels almost pressured and he doesn't like it when they ask him that shit.
They do this mostly because I'm infertile in the "I would die if I got pregnant" kind of way. That doesn't mean that I can't have a biological child. It just means that we have less options, and those options are super expensive. I'm not even sure my child would count in their eyes because they'd have my husband's last name.
Not that it will ever happen. I'm almost positive if we ever have a kid, it'd be through adoption. I don't want to have a child inherit my blood disorder.
Just respond with, " I don't think we could ever become so desperate that we would need to make a child. If it ever got to that point I would sooner just visit a soup kitchen for food."
My daughter will be 37 this year. From the age of 16ish (babysitting age... she never did) she has said she doesn't like kids, doesn't ever want kids. And she never changed her mind. I got the point and never bugged her about it. But now I bug her about getting her tubes tied with all the weird abortion laws in this country.
The best reason to not want kids is to watch parents with their kids
I'm gonna keep asking
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That's the majority of posts on this sub. Personal anecdotes and opinions.
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Not really a LPT, people should just mind their own business. If someone want children, believe me, they gonna inform you. If not, well what does it matter then.
My LPT if people keep asking, just say "I do not know if I can get children" a fine line of being truth, and being awkward enough for most people to stop asking.
What if it’s multiple friends
Eh. If it's your friend I think it's fair game to ask. I've had tons of people in my life say they don't want kids and then once they've changed partners, they wanted kids.
I honestly don't think it should be an issue to ask in general if people want kids either. Humans have only made it this far because of our intelligence, curiosity, and reproduction. It's a simple yes or no question.
I think prying or attempting to change the person's mind is the issue. If someone says the don't want kids, that should be the end of it.
Or be a person who can state clearly they this needs to be left alone and that you aren't interested in kids so stop bringing it up.
Your suggestion is based on an assumed idea, the person being asked has the answer so man up and tell them to leave you the hell alone about children.
So, what did she say when you ask her?
Nah imma have to pick your brain, it’s too baffling to me. So baffling I forgot all the answers the last person I asked gave, so imma feel like this is the first time I’m hearing people say they don want kids. No judgement tho
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So whenever you ask someone a question, never ask them if they changed their mind. Bc?
I think it's still okay to ask. I mean, if they say no then don't be a jerk and push the issue. But if you don't ask then how will you know the answer?
LPT: You can ask whomever you want, whatever you want.
If you're really friends, every thing can be talked about.
There is a thought that people who don't have kids yet, are more open to the world, they are more adventurous and curious to life. This kind of people explore the world, and live for pleasure, for themselves mostly. But anyway, this should lead to parentship, if she is meant to leave a mark on this world, pass on wisdom and make some global things for the society.
I didn’t want kids when I was young and changed my mind once married. People also change. And young folks commonly don’t want kids and also commonly change their mind. I am against asking people if they want kids in general, but the question can seem as valid.
Live your truth. Ask them whatever you like.
Why? Why is it not ok to ask if someone changed their mind?
They rarely have and you’re not the only one pestering
The vast majority of women want children and most will have children, it’s not weird to expect it.
Statistically that's probably true about most women, and I would even agree it's not weird to expect it of most of the people you know.
IMO, what's weird, about this subject and others, is to have the audacity to feel entitled not even necessarily to an answer, but even to fielding the question uninvited.
>My 34 year old sister has been single the majority of her adult life and for the past five years has been very firm on not wanting children.
If she only started the whole "I don't want children" thing when she was 29 and was single most of her life, it does sound like a bit of a cope. "It's ok that I'm pushing 30, not married, and never had a real relationship, I never wanted kids anyways!"
Good advice. You need to walk on eggshells around these types.
Many of my friends that were single 10 years ago and were certain that they never want to have kids are now in relationships with kids or planning having kids.
These kind of discussions are only awkward when you make them awkward
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HelenEk7 t1_je4b133 wrote
I dont mention possible children at all when talking to people that dont have any. Not when they are single, not when they are married, not when they look pregnant, not even when knowing they are trying to have a baby. If they want to talk about it, they will bring it up. If not, its a subject better to avoid.