Submitted by bwaredapenguin t3_122xlas in nottheonion
Comments
DanFuckingSchneider t1_jdscicj wrote
A bomb is only the second worst thing you can put in a jar of peanut butter in public.
HarlanCulpepper t1_jdsd4rd wrote
I just want to know who just can't bear to travel without peanut butter.
machina99 t1_jdsd97u wrote
But what about if I want some peanut butter to dip my apple slices? And even on a sandwich that raises the question - what if I have more than 3.4 oz on a single sandwich? I'm team amorphous solid when it comes to PB
Bobodahobo010101 t1_jdsdraq wrote
I wouldn't call it a gas or necessarily a solid, so maybe i agree with them.
MoistAttitude t1_jdsfbgb wrote
Pitch is a liquid, and peanut butter is much less viscous than that so sure.
Ahab_Ali t1_jdsgbvo wrote
I run marathons and always pack peanut butter so I do not have to worry about finding some at my destination. It is part of a traditional race day breakfast.
The TSA had been restricting peanut butter container size for quite a while--I guess it was just unofficially until now.
Edit: I package it in multiple 2oz condiment "to go" containers.
nuadusp t1_jdsjkp3 wrote
why just not allow oils and emulsions
patienceisfun2018 t1_jdsldx9 wrote
I have stringent dietary restrictions and peanut butter is one of my favorite travel foods. Obviously, there are always alternatives, but classifying it as a liquid is stupid and another example of the security theater bullshit they put us through.
justabill71 t1_jdslpnp wrote
Fetlocks_Glistening t1_jdsm1xe wrote
Sounds like a charged topic, so could be plasma?
lufecaep t1_jdsmco9 wrote
I wonder what would happen if you spread it onto a sheet of wax paper then rolled it up? I'm sure half the TSA agents would let it pass in the jar anyway.
texanfan20 t1_jdspx4x wrote
Now the shops behind security are going to stock peanut butter and charge $20 a jar.
Scutshakes t1_jdt0zb4 wrote
There is a YouTube channel called "What's My Line?", it is a channel that archives and uploads episodes of the old panel show of the same name. The famous John Charles Daly hosts this game show where a celebrity panel interrogates the subject on what their profession is, kind of like a game of 20 questions. Sometimes they blindfold themselves to bring in guest celebrities (like Jack Benny and Groucho Marx) and they have to guess who they are talking to.
My memory is a little hazy as this has been some years, but I believe one person had worked as like a mustard taste tester, or worked in a mustard factory, or was an officiant for mustard marriages. I don't remember. But when the panel asked "Is what you [work with] a liquid or a solid?", the subject looked confused. The famous John Charles Daly, in all his grace, wisdom, and good nature, took the subject in for a private deliberation, and very confidently announced that the mustard was a SOLID OBJECT, which of course derailed the entire subsequent line of questioning to an inevitable failure.
For as much as I respect and love the famous John Charles Daly, I will never forgive him for this, and I've never watched another episode since. Peanut butter, a liquid? Maybe. I admit I am not smart enough to argue for or against this. There are better qualified people for it. But MUSTARD? That I have to shake up and squeeze out of a bottle? That I can easily spread over my bologna sandwich in the back of a limousine? I will never agree to call it a solid. Maybe you do, maybe you will side with the famous John Charles Daly purely on the trust he has built with you. But he's not fooling me, and I'm not afraid to look dumb enough to argue against him.
cpancoast t1_jdt1slc wrote
I think glass is technically a liquid, right?
VanDenBroeck t1_jdt2ddj wrote
“The agency says peanut butter fits its definition of liquid, which it declares as something with no definite shape that takes the shape of its container.”
That could also define a gas.
But my question is why does peanut butter take the shape of the jar? Is it because it is forced to under pressure during the manufacturing process?
If I scoop out a large portion with a tablespoon, does it fill the spoon like a liquid and the excess run out?
If I scoop out a bunch of it and dump it in a measuring cup, does it uniformly fill the cup by seeking a level like water would?
The TSA is a ridiculous bunch of nitwits.
shannyleigh87 t1_jdt2t81 wrote
My 3 year old legitimately refused to eat anything that isn’t snack food, except for peanut butter. He went on a two day eating strike over a green bean. I don’t want to deal with that when I’m traveling, I’d rather just bring the peanut butter.
SmurfsNeverDie t1_jdt49o5 wrote
They are probably talking about kirkland peanut butter.
grudginglyadmitted t1_jdt6e5j wrote
my sister has tons of food allergies and just recently had to beg TSA to let her keep her jar of jam (that plus some bread was her only meal for the 14+ hour travel day). If you guys end up on a flight together I bet you can make a great pb and j
Sharing_Violation t1_jdt8ejt wrote
I was on a flight once where they announced at the gate that someone on the flight was deadly allergic to peanuts and they would confiscate all peanut butter and related to make sure it was sealed... the amount of protest...
Me, I'm sitting there like... who is bringing peanutbutter on planes??...
So maybe it's common?
Wooba99 t1_jdt8etd wrote
It's so silly. Several years ago I was flying to Canada via London. I had half a jar of nutella in my bag. No issues for the first flight, but it was taken from me in London. I was transiting and hadn't even left the terminal!
AurumArgenteus t1_jdtbwgd wrote
If it were a literal bomb, there's at least a 90% chance they'd let it through.
Reyemreden t1_jdtch15 wrote
We already have peanut butter in a tube, I guess they could make travel sizes too.
Christovir t1_jdtdiyu wrote
TSA has been enforcing this for 10+ years when they made me throw out my peanut butter. They also took my “gel” insoles.
Yearofthehoneybadger t1_jdteinx wrote
Well if peanut butter is a liquid, then butter is a liquid.
eXecute_bit t1_jdtfjw1 wrote
Ok, you're right... the third worst thing, then.
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdtg9ie wrote
Former screener here: peanut butter is approximately the same density as C4 when viewed on TSA’s X-ray screens. It sets off a false alarm on the automated bomb detection software, and the X-ray can’t see through it. You can hide whatever you want inside a peanut butter jar and it will be hidden from the X-ray operator (within certain size limitations).
They didn’t ban it for no reason.
i_like_concrete t1_jdtgifp wrote
Non-Newtonian fluid.
eXecute_bit t1_jdtgk5w wrote
Peanut butter is a non-Newtonian fluid.
> a liquid with non-constant viscosity
eXecute_bit t1_jdtgnx1 wrote
Glass is an amorphous solid.
cpancoast t1_jdtgszi wrote
Ah, I was close!
eXecute_bit t1_jdth0ti wrote
Close enough for government work!
ba-dum tsss
valomorn t1_jdtjnc9 wrote
I'm gonna be the annoying "AAActually" guy here and point out that the term liquid can include many substances that are far more viscous than even peanut butter, to the point of appearing solid.
There's a whole ongoing experiment where a form of naturally occuring asphalt has been left to drip, it has only done so 9 times since 1930 and is for this reason still considered a liquid despite seeming so solid at room temp it can be shattered with a forceful enough blow.
BaltimoreBadger23 t1_jdtjxgf wrote
This screams Lifetime Summer Movie.
Radingod123 t1_jdtlay2 wrote
I wanna know who is making bombs out of it.
HorseGestapo t1_jdtlpqc wrote
So, why not just put it in your checked baggage?
Ahab_Ali t1_jdtlrnv wrote
I do not check baggage.
StephanXX t1_jdtm21n wrote
Better yet. Why not shut down a multi-billion dollar jobs program that has no record of actually preventing a single incident.
HorseGestapo t1_jdtm3y0 wrote
Oh you're one of those...
If you refuse to check a bag I don't think you have much ground to complain about what you're allowed to carry on, especially when it isn't an immediate necessity.
Ahab_Ali t1_jdtm8ey wrote
??? Who is complaining?
ryanCrypt t1_jdtnafj wrote
Maybe he doesn't carry much. Doesn't make him a "type of person". He didn't say he "refused". Only his tendency. He wasn't complaining.
ryanCrypt t1_jdtnog0 wrote
I don't agree or disagree with this discussion, but thanks for reasoning.
St3phiroth t1_jdtoslm wrote
I almost always pack peanut butter, PBJ sandwich, or nuts for plane trips. It's a really great, shelf-stable source of protein and fats which makes it a really great travel food when you can't bring a cooler/ice pack.
Obviously I would keep it sealed if someone on the plane was allergic though. I'm not an AH.
[deleted] t1_jdtt780 wrote
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Desert_Avalanche t1_jdtvtrc wrote
You stand in a millimeter wave imaging machine.
Your bag goes through an x-ray machine.
herronasaurus_rex t1_jdtx0qo wrote
I’ve had this same issue but with toothpaste - a paste is not a liquid!
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdtxe6e wrote
Then why does it say X-ray on the side, on the monitor, in the manual, and in the training?
RotisserieChicken007 t1_jdu19fz wrote
if they really wanted to ban it they should just have done so without giving a silly reason like it's a liquid.
Airrows t1_jdu3e2q wrote
SlackerKey t1_jdu3vzp wrote
I would invite TSA to drink a pint of peanut butter, then.
SilasX t1_jdu47u8 wrote
If they comment on the Frosty from Wendy’s … God help them.
SilasX t1_jdu48xw wrote
Jim Hopper from Stranger Things.
harpejjist t1_jdu695g wrote
Peanut butter can stand in a lump. So not enough of a liquid. But also, I dare them to try and drink it
DuePomegranate t1_jdu7nwp wrote
The rule was always about liquids and gels. Or to be more anal,
>Any liquid, aerosol, gel, cream or paste
https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/liquids-rule
My understanding is that the "liquid" explosives that airlines are afraid of are often quite viscous and more like gels or putties (or peanut butter) than water.
The TSA media person is just doing a terrible job of explaining the rationale. They could just have said that peanut butter is a paste and that's restricted.
SpencerWS t1_jdu9hdr wrote
Actually they’re completely right. Also, the bigger issue is that you can mix chemicals in there that make it dangerous or can be distilled into powder later.
[deleted] t1_jdudpdy wrote
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CavScout81 t1_jdudsi6 wrote
A few years ago the TSA stole my cheese spread because they said it was a liquid.
Fuck the TSA!
[deleted] t1_jdudu7s wrote
K4m30 t1_jdufx8a wrote
Seems like the definition of a fluid ifnyou ask me, but what do I know, I'm no scienceoligist.
Ghosttalker96 t1_jdujlwv wrote
You are not only allowed to take peanuts, they even hand them out on board.
Ghosttalker96 t1_jdujodu wrote
I can however confirm that it does not taste the same.
Ghosttalker96 t1_jdujr8h wrote
Aren't they now removing the liquid restrictions entirely as they create a lot of delays during safety checks and don't bring any benefit for security in the first place?
Larkson9999 t1_jdun09q wrote
Isn't peanut butter a fairly easy item to procure upon arrival?
antiquemule t1_jduomrd wrote
Not very helpful. Most gels, pastes and other gloop are non-Newtonian and they do not all behave like peanut butter.
To be precise, it is a yield stress fluid, which means that when pushed a little bit, it acts like a solid, whereas when pushed a lot, it flows like a liquid. The (fuzzily defined) amount of push separating the two states is called the yield stress.
RuneanPrincess t1_jdur3u6 wrote
A gas has no definite volume either.
[deleted] t1_jdurq32 wrote
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RotisserieChicken007 t1_jdust15 wrote
Maybe say that it confuses luggage scanners and slows down the security check?
shruggedbeware t1_jduth6p wrote
I love this title so so much.
Cerrida82 t1_jduvfxv wrote
So are Magic: the Gathering cards, apparently. We got stopped because they found solid, rectangular shapes in our suitcases. Explosives? Nope, just our MtG decks.
psgrue t1_jduxvcb wrote
Some millimeters wave back
ErieSpirit t1_jduxvxj wrote
The TSA rule has always included liquids, gels, pastes, creams, and aerosols.
Longshot_45 t1_jduz5ii wrote
In another post someone noted that some machines are actually calibrated/tested using peanut butter and honey as they mimic the consistency of certain explosives they are looking for.
Longshot_45 t1_jduzdv5 wrote
Ah, the guy who tried to smuggle a handgun through TSA in a jar of peanut butter makes more sense now.
VanDenBroeck t1_jdv0a4b wrote
No one is making bombs out of peanut butter. Peanut butter is THE bomb.
man-vs-spider t1_jdv0ekw wrote
Regardless of if it’s actually a “liquid”, it’s properties are those that security would be looking out for in explosives. So doesn’t sound too stupid to me (since we already have restrictions for liquids in general)
man-vs-spider t1_jdv11aa wrote
This is a pretty thin defence, pastes are typically liquids with solid suspensions and behave like liquids when large enough forces are applied.
You may disagree with the general TSA guidelines, but given that liquids are restricted, it is consistent that things similar to liquids are also restricted
man-vs-spider t1_jdv12ih wrote
Let’s have a pint of pitch
ElGuapo315 t1_jdv1yka wrote
But the stupidity is that if you freeze peanut butter it's suddenly ok.
VanDenBroeck t1_jdv25cs wrote
I have never carried a jar of peanut butter on a plane. I have however carried: bags of peanuts, peanut butter sandwiches, and peanut butter fudge. Now, peanut butter is in a state that is between peanuts and peanut butter fudge. So… it seems that this transitional phase of matter matters to the TSA. They are anti trans. /s
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdv4g3p wrote
Uh… you think increasing the density of the item that’s too dense will convince TSA to let it in baggage?
ElGuapo315 t1_jdv4t24 wrote
TSA: You have to dump out that water.
Also TSA: Ice cubes? You're good to go!
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdv4vyi wrote
I can see that. The coating on the cards and the type of paper stock probably make for a nice organic looking orange brick on the X-ray, like a brick of Semtex
Ahelex t1_jdv516r wrote
Maybe it's an explosion deck?
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdv5gjd wrote
Hah! That’s hilariously amazing. New one to me. Edit: after some thought… one reason you can’t have water is because there are explosive components that look very similar to water. But they don’t freeze. So if your water is frozen then it can’t be a liquid component of an ied.
DeepTh0tt t1_jdv5gnk wrote
It's a paste. Unless you melt it, you can't pour it. You don't need to melt a liquid to pour it.
28463719174636 t1_jdv83dd wrote
I'm gonna bring a block of tar and break their minds.
penguished t1_jdvayio wrote
So what you're saying is they paid through the nose for shitty tech with problems like that, that haven't been fixed, and so the ultimate solution is ban peanut butter. Wonderful work.
curlyhairlad t1_jdvcctq wrote
I’ve played enough Arkham City to know about explosive gel
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdvchy5 wrote
No…. I’m saying That the laws of physics don’t allow us to distinguish between the two substances.
It’s like when men look at two things that appear to be the same shade of yellow, but really they are different shades of yellow. (Men are less able to discern differences between shades of yellow than 1/3rd of women who have more yellow cones in their eyes)
Sciguystfm t1_jdvf5uc wrote
The entire agency exists for no reason my dude
Sciguystfm t1_jdvfh0z wrote
Unless you're bringing more than a week of outfits or you need to bring so much stuff that you can't fit it in a carry on, why would anyone choose to pay the extra money to check a bag
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdvfzxv wrote
I understand your point, but you’re grossly overstating it. Hijacking used to be commonplace in the 70s & 80s. Then 9/11 obviously happened and TSA was obviously created in reaction to that, so there are obviously reasons. Whether those reasons justify the existence of TSA is a different discussion tho
Sciguystfm t1_jdvouq7 wrote
I mean the reason was entirely security theater.
Locking, reinforced cabin doors and air marshals prevent another 9/11, banning toothpaste does not.
There's zero evidence the TSA has stopped a single terror attack, and on top of that they fail their own internal red team tests 95% of the time
--___- t1_jdvqjuk wrote
We travelled to Israel with jar of peanut butter in checked luggage. As it happened, the kids liked the food and we didn’t use it.
When at the airport for our return home, Israel security pulled our bag aside, rummaged through and asked us about the peanut butter. They let it go back in the bag.
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdvrxle wrote
They are the most expensive home security window sticker ever. While they haven’t actively prevented terrorist actions, their mere presence may have been sufficient to make terrorists seek softer targets. Unfortunately, that’s hardly something we can measure or quantify
penguished t1_jdvs6qx wrote
Technology isn't men though. It's meant to be doing things we can't on its own. With how powerful stuff like AI analysis is getting, they should find better solutions.
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdvued3 wrote
I would personally prefer my tax dollars not be spent on upgrading these systems, antiquated tho they might be. We haven’t had a plane blown up or hijacked in over 20 years
Cerrida82 t1_jdw6fz9 wrote
There were a lot of red cards!
FellowConspirator t1_jdw90ur wrote
Was it a fireball deck? That would explain it.
mazzimar7 t1_jdw982f wrote
The have "paste" as a qualifier under the liquid category. Peanut butter is definitely a paste.
Wa-da-ta-mybaby-te t1_jdwauqy wrote
Lol this is a common method to smuggle a little weed.
GiraffeOnABicycle t1_jdwdha7 wrote
Paging Hank Green
hypnos_surf t1_jdwfibv wrote
The whole concept of no liquids is ridiculous.
StillSundayDrunk t1_jdwkatz wrote
Also, imagine if they smeared Mr. Ed's gums with C4 to get him to "talk" on the show. Instant tragedy.
LarYungmann t1_jdwkc1m wrote
I think Muck is a closer definition.
gtrocks555 t1_jdwli7f wrote
Got stopped for a card game in a box with “sharp edges” too. I didn’t even open it though, they just took it out, saw it was a card game and told me why it was flagged and let me be
Callinon t1_jdwo8zj wrote
Forgive me for saying so but it sounds like this machine isn't very reliable. If it's routinely mistaking cards for bombs and peanut butter for homemade explosives, that feels like a very high false positive rate to me.
Maybe instead of banning everything in sight, it'd be better to fix the machine?
ButtMustard t1_jdwoa49 wrote
Why are you bringing peanut butter on an airplane?
Callinon t1_jdwol5z wrote
It's ok, the bullets were coated with jelly. So it all balanced out.
harge008 t1_jdwp9ot wrote
My cousin brought fireworks back from South America without tripping any TSA checkpoints. Seems legit.
Mrsum10ne t1_jdwq61i wrote
Not to agree with or defend their assetry, but if I’m remembering correctly gases are fluids. They aren’t liquid though. All (most?) liquids are fluids, not all fluids are liquids. And maybe peanut butter is like pitch. It just takes forever for it to flow. If they would’ve called it a fluid they may be technically right.
burrito-disciple t1_jdwrrfk wrote
>You can hide whatever you want inside a peanut butter jar and it will be hidden from the X-ray operator
Can confirm, I used to live with a guy who smuggled drugs all over the country via US mail just by sticking things inside peanut butter jars.
Eventually got caught, but not because of how he shipped things.
texasdeafdogs t1_jdws4lt wrote
I definitely packed some my last flight. The hotel was fairly remote and pricey. I don't eat much so I wanted to not waste $ on the hotel food.
Poguemohon t1_jdwsrnf wrote
Idk why you're getting downvoted? You're literally talking about the shit Ralph Nader proposed before 9/11.
Ketheres t1_jdwu6cg wrote
>this machine isn't very reliable
Because it isn't. It's practically all about theatrics to make people feel safer in a post-9/11 society.
Eruionmel t1_jdwuida wrote
>it'd be better to fix the machine?
Oh thank god, someone finally suggested it. We assume you have ideas on how better to literally see through solid objects? If you'll head right this way, our R&D team would love to get started on your plan...
Ketheres t1_jdwujix wrote
>But they don’t freeze.
You can freeze all matter if you get it cold enough, and stuff that's liquid in room temperature usually doesn't need to be really cold to be frozen solid. Stuff that looks like water when liquid might not look like water ice when solid though.
wereplant t1_jdwupsh wrote
I got stopped for having a book in my bag once.
DjuriWarface t1_jdwwv4b wrote
False positives are fine though. Mostly no harm done. False negatives are the concern. I realize the TSA is still not that effective but still.
Not being able to bring peanut butter through TSA is hardly going to affect anybody.
Sluggish0351 t1_jdwyyg2 wrote
This doesn't seem like a good excuse considering that there are devices that can sniff out C4, as it has a very distinct scent. There is literally no reason to believe that peanut butter is C4. If they actually cared about safety they would just invest in tools that identified actual threats instead of just making life harder for people traveling.
gulrurahof t1_jdwzj9n wrote
Only once?
skittlebog t1_jdx097u wrote
Glad my peanut butter cups made it through.
tauntingbob t1_jdx1gok wrote
Or perhaps they were frozen grape bullets?
Callinon t1_jdx31l7 wrote
Never travelled with very young children I take it?
tauntingbob t1_jdx3h36 wrote
The number of airplane hijackings was already in decline during the 90s and processes were already improving at airports around the world. Remembering that the TSA is a purely US production and doesn't represent the world, where most incidents happened. The world's airports have improved their processes and it's improved security a fair bit.
But ultimately the evidence is there, the TSA fails almost every test they're checked against by their own organisation. They're probably the least effective security force in the world, other than to frustrate people, they're good at that.
$8bn a year for an organisation who let through banned materials 70% of the time... https://www.forbes.com/sites/ellistalton/2019/01/28/is-the-tsa-really-necessary/
tomd65 t1_jdx4psw wrote
TSA Takes Snacks Away
LuvCilantro t1_jdx60nq wrote
You could always put it in your checked suitcase. It is quite plausible that the number of people who MUST travel with a jar of peanut butter in their carry on is small enough to not warrant an exception.
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxap5p wrote
They were designed to frustrate would-be terrorists, so it makes sense that they frustrate everyone else too
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxawhc wrote
Have you never shrink wrapped food before? It’s not all that complicated to package smelly materials so that they can’t be smelled. The X-ray is the device that can detect explosives almost perfectly
Callinon t1_jdxb4hv wrote
>You could always put it in your checked suitcase
Never travelled with very young children I take it?
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxb7th wrote
Riiiight, but the explosive slurries have such a low freezing temp that it would not stay frozen at room temperature long enough to get through security
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxbf6v wrote
False positives like crazy. That’s why there are still humans checking every bag the computer flags
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxboow wrote
Do your children only eat peanut butter with their fingers? Just make it into sandwiches, put it in crackers, dip the celery in it, or whatever it is you do with peanut butter BEFORE you pack it, and it will cruise through the xray
Cerrida82 t1_jdxds6f wrote
Sounds about right lol
Cerrida82 t1_jdxdvdw wrote
Sensible chuckle.gif
Callinon t1_jdxh6wu wrote
And failing 95% of the time.
hockeyh2opolo t1_jdxpxya wrote
Apparently so is cheddar cheese, got held up for a while with a block of white cheddar because it looked and scanned like c4
Harry_Gorilla t1_jdxu4mp wrote
Yes! Velveeta is even worse
Sluggish0351 t1_jdxv1xz wrote
Lol I used to work with C4. I have used the tech I am talking about. It can sense the scent of C4 on a person's hands that have been washed numerous times. It can detect it through packaging. C4 literally comes in plastic wrapping and is detected through it.
LuvCilantro t1_jdzww0x wrote
Many times :)
XenoskarSIMP t1_je9pqvn wrote
Are this many mofos taking peanut butter on planes? Like, "Okay, all packed for the trip. I got my sunblock, extra socks, some magazines to read... and, uh, my Peanut butter."
lufecaep t1_jdsajet wrote
So make your sandwich first. I brought several PB&Js through several countries not to long ago. The only people that seemed concerned with them was the group that is concerned with restricted foods. I actually had to pull them out of my bag and show them at a couple places.