TIFU by telling my bf I want a lap dance

Submitted by hellopoppyskit t3_11d5vfk in tifu

My boyfriend and I were talking and he told me about how he went to a strip club for one of his coworkers bachelor party before I met him. He told me that he got a lap dance but didn’t enjoy it 🤨. Anyway I jokingly told him that I wanna go to a male strip club, like thunder down under or something, so I could get a lap dance too. If he got to enjoy one I wanna enjoy one too! He got all huffy and puffy and started to look up male stripper moves so he could give me a lap dance cause he didn’t want magic mike dancing on me. Well you know the move where the guys like land on their hands and then essentially hump the floor? To the grind on me song? He wanted to try that with me laying on the floor so he could give me a lap dance, or I guess a body dance. So he made me lay on the floor and he was standing above me getting ready to grind on me. I wasn’t wary or anything because he’s a pretty strong guy and I thought he’d be able to hold him self up above me so he could go to town. I was wrong. He essentially just slammed down right on top of me, knocking the air from my lungs and almost squashing me to death. He weighs like 280 and I almost became a flat Stanley. I started panicking cause I couldn’t breath and he just asked “was that a bad lap dance?”

Don’t get a lap dance from my boyfriend.

TL;DR boyfriend gave me a lap dance and almost killed me

Edit-this conversation was all in good fun and we joke with each other all the time! My boyfriend knows I wouldn’t actually go and get a lap dance from a stripper, I wouldn’t do that to him

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Comments

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eggerrj87 t1_ja6w18g wrote

Your dude needs to not be so insecure. If it's ok for him to go to a strip club, it's ok for you to go see Thunder From Down Under or Chippendales. Both of which are a lot tamer than what goes on in most strip joints aimed at males.

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AllanfromWales1 t1_ja6zic9 wrote

> Don’t get a lap dance from my boyfriend.

I'm willing to give him a try, but then I'm a 280lb male too..

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blainooo t1_ja74mag wrote

It's not relationship advice but OP wants a male lapdance from a male stripper while in a relationship and his lapdance was out of one? Hello?

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Eldryanyyy t1_ja7d8mo wrote

This isn’t equivalence in lap dances. He can’t brag about getting one then get offended when you want one without looking like a massive hypocrite.

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HumanStruggle8295 t1_ja7fwg4 wrote

Replying to blainooo (#2,050,948)

Anyway I jokingly told him that I wanna go to a male strip club
Read : I'm going to a male strip club next time I have the occasion because it's not fair you had a good time before meeting me so I want that good time now even if we are in the relashionship* Also he said he didn't enjoy it and she instantly think he lies.
Girl's red flag fucking flying like a chinese's parade.

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nadzicle t1_ja7gyp1 wrote

  • deleted my original first paragraph because it was kind of dicky -

Can someone explain the downvotes on the valid comments (imo) about him being insecure? And I mean someone who did the downvoting because we can make assumptions about whoever’s downvoted as also being insecure but it doesn’t really give me their line of thinking. I’m kinda confused/curious and just would love to know.

It’s cute in a way that he thought he could just give you a lap dance and it would somehow work, but it’s also insecure of him in the sense of he doesn’t want some dude dancing on you. Idk if he actually said he was uncomfortable or anything, but I do wonder if it would have been fine if you’d said you wanted one from a woman. He could have handled the situation better for sure, but points for trying? I hope he apologised for knocking the air out of your lungs though, lol.

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AstonianSoldier t1_ja7i3dp wrote

So where do you two stand? Are you still planning to go pay to him some sex worker give you a lap dance or is this issue settled and closed?

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Achadel t1_ja7pbtg wrote

Replying to Eldryanyyy (#2,052,487)

Saying you got one before the relationship and didn’t even enjoy is a far cry from bragging about something. What even is there to brag about with a lapdance? The stripper is literally just doing her job, its like bragging about going through the checkout line.

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Mafro_Man t1_ja7t48j wrote

Replying to Capable-Site-301 (#2,055,743)

In what mental gymnastics world would you be fine with the idea of your partner getting sexually danced on by someone (that most likely will look far more attractive than you) of the opposite sex?

The harm is going against what ops partner wants, potentially causing a rift in their relationship.

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nadzicle t1_ja7thlr wrote

Replying to lostmindz (#2,055,279)

She said that it was a comment made in jest. I guess unless she decides to give us more context with his behaviour and her thoughts on it, we won’t know. Otherwise, yeah, both insecure.

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Mary_9 t1_ja80epx wrote

I don't know. Him crushing you like that when he didn't need to, sounds more like he was trying to passive aggressively punish you for asking about it. I would question what else he does to keep you in line.

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TheShark24 t1_ja87nns wrote

Upvote for Flat Stanley reference

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bubba7557 t1_ja8ck2n wrote

The number of posts in this sub lately with low key and blatant sex work shaming suggests to me this sub is filled with little kids these days. Your tifu's is more looking down your noses at sex work then anything else.

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SlabOmir t1_ja8mw9m wrote

You got what you deserve, your boyfriend told you he went to a strip club and DIDN'T enjoy the lap dance, so you told him you want to go to a strip club and get a lap dance. You're weird.

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hljoorbrandr t1_ja8oyf4 wrote

Both of you go to the strip club and get dances. Goodness it’s just fun not sex

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4_Legged_Duck t1_ja8tq1r wrote

Replying to Squigglepig52 (#2,059,061)

Two of my friends hadn't met each other but bumped into an elevator. One was a decade older than the other and is bit stodgy. The younger started singing this song then stepped off the elevator and said nothing. Having my stodgy friend whine about about the young @#$^ in the elevator who sang this only to run into him a few moments later was absolutely priceless and a fun memory.

But outside of that one memory? Fuck this song with a sideways pineapple. I'm right there with you

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bros402 t1_ja8z21b wrote

hell yeah, flat stanley reference

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Sterling-Marksman t1_ja9478r wrote

>he told me he got a lap dance but didnt enjoy it.

>if he got to enjoy one i want to enjoy one too!

Are you stupid

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brattywafatty t1_ja9d8hv wrote

Why can't you both go get one that you both enjoy? And it not be a jealousy issue???

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Capable-Site-301 t1_ja9i75r wrote

Replying to JimmyLocks (#2,072,224)

I looked at a few. Seems the big issue is someone in the relationship promised not to go to a strip club but kept going but tried to cover it up.

So the issue is lying, which is much more serious than getting a lapdance.

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Capable-Site-301 t1_ja9ik4f wrote

Replying to JimmyLocks (#2,072,353)

Same reason they don't want their SO drinking too much or watching porn, or gambling? They personally don't like it, for whatever reason.

Not everyone thinks like that.

EDIT: Read the responses here. Most of them say going to a strip club is not a big issue, but the lying is. And the wife admitted she didn't want her husband going because she's just insecure (which, I suspect, is true of most of the people in this thread downvoting me and acting like going to a strip club is some kind of unpardonable sin, when it's realy just all in good fun.).

https://community.babycenter.com/post/a68981065/would-you-divorce-over-strip-clubs

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ang3lic0w t1_jaa72i7 wrote

Proud of you both for trying something new! ❤️🥳

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IamMooz t1_jaa7tez wrote

> Don’t get a lap dance from my boyfriend.

Was literally about to, but now I can't... Thanks OP!

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pckldpr t1_jaa80gk wrote

Actually I think you just found out your bf is gay. What man doesn't enjoy a lap dance?

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