Tifu by deleting my boyfriends pokemon scarlet saves

Submitted by Bee-Banana t3_117rlac in tifu

Tifu by deleting my boyfriends pokemon scarlet saves.

*****UPDATE: Bf and I had spoken last night and he's calmed right now. He informed me that he's more upset about the way I went about telling him - with panic and stress- than the action.

He told me if I waited till he got home, made sure he ate and then sat him down and said "I don't want to scare you, but your pokemon save is gone and I can't get it back." He would have responded differently. It was a 'Tip of the iceberg' situation.

He still didn't want to talk about solutions, so I just let him vent about his trip and I suppose we will get to that later. I plan to delete my save as well because I wouldn't want to play without him (seeing as I only played with the intent of it being with him).

A bit upsetting that people assumed our relationship was on the line over this. I never predicted that to be the case, as him and I have an extremely healthy relationship.

I would also like to state that my apology to him never included that I had autism, but just fully admitting my mistake and apologizing and trying to fix it.

Remember that relationship dynamics look different for everyone, and be kinder to your autistic friends next time.

Thanks

Context: my bf (m31) and I (f27) both have individual switches and we buy games to play together. Since my bf is on a trip back home, I had 2 friends over and got ready to play Mario party, only to notice when I picked up the switch from my dock- with my joycons attached- it had a couple different games downloaded on it and my bfs account logged into it. Assuming, once again that this was my switch, knowing I haven't touched it in over a month, I assumed he had put his account and a couple games on my switch to play on our other tv.

I have autism, and get easily frustrated when changes are made without communications to me, so I asked my friend if I could remove his user from "my" switch. (Assuming his was still on "HIS" switch with his joycons) And my friend promptly showed me how. I didn't double think on it, I just deleted it. It was only after I went to switch the joycons that I realized "his" was actually mine and I had fucked up.

Not wanting to lie or wait, my friends agreed I needed to tell him. So I called him, panicked and apologetic, and he was extremely and justifiably upset. Turns out he was already having a horrible experience on his trip and my panicked call and stress and news made everything 10x worse.

Obviously panicked, I immediately re-logged into the correct switch with his account info and went through his backups, and luckily every other game he had cloud backups turned on. I was able to save all the rest of his game content except for pokemon scarlet. There is no backups for the game, and absolutely no way to recover the data (we tried every single online solution)

At this point, bf has hung up on me and was very very upset in messages.

He "will never play the game again" "140 hours wasted. All shinies gone" "Never playing pokemon again."

I tried to say I'd give him alot of my pokemon, all his favorites to make up for it but he did not budge.

I'm heartbroken over what I did, and I can't look at his switch or Pokemon without feeling absolutely sick.

I basically ruined one of the main things we bonded over in our relationships because I'm to R to think before doing a dumb thing. I would never have done it if I knew it would delete his data.

And now I'm worried I destroyed our relationship over my dumb decision.

TL;DR I mixed up our switches because joycons and docks were switched and thought he put his profile on mine, so I deleted it without knowing it contained his main switch data and deleted his pokemon scarlet character completely by accident.

UPDATE ABOVE*

64

Comments

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Whane17 t1_j9ey2fm wrote

As a heavy gamer for the last 20years with a thousand of games on my Steam account alone I can honestly say if your relationship comes crashing down over a single save file it wasn't going to make it anyway.

Over the years my girls done me dirty a few times by accident and that's the thing to remember. An accident can't undo the love you had unless it wasn't real in the first place.

132

grauwulf7 t1_j9g39mh wrote

I screenshot this comment so I can come back to it later. A game is only a game, but the memories and love shared (with or without a game) is truly worth more. Well stated.

19

Noritzu t1_j9gavco wrote

This here. My wife and kids have deleted countless save files, destroyed multiple consoles (young kids), etc. life goes on.

Does he have every right to be upset? Absolutely.

If it ends a relationship however, that relationship wasn’t worth saving.

11

Little_Cook t1_jacxt81 wrote

My kids haven’t destroyed a console (yet). They did drop one controller which had drift afterwards but I got it repaired under warranty.

What consoles did they destroy?

1

Noritzu t1_jad1i5z wrote

I’ve lost a switch and a Wii U. My Wii U was broke when my son was around 3. The switch was a few years later.

1

briefly_mysterious t1_j9e65o9 wrote

I understand that you made a mistake. You say you get frustrated when changes are made without communicating to you, however, why would you rashly delete anyways? Why wouldn’t you ask your bf first if he had used your Switch for any particular reason? There wouldn’t be any other way for the data to show up on your Switch since stuff doesn’t just appear on them for no reason, so I find it somewhat inconsiderate to just so readily delete it without figuring out why it was there first. Next time, try to pause for awhile before acting. I understand why he is so upset. I would be very upset too if all of my Violet data got deleted from my Switch like that. It would feel like I wasted a huge chunk of my time and hard work for nothing. He shouldn’t stay mad at you forever, but he totally has a right to be upset.

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tomsaiyuk t1_j9ek49m wrote

You had time to check for sure, you didn't and sorta blamed autism.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ekkn0 wrote

When discussing it with him, I did not at all bring up my autism.

A rough summary of what I said to him was "I made a huge mistake and I am so sorry. I thought you did something to my switch because the joycons and docs were switched and -friend- showed me how to remove the profile. But I realized it was your switch when it was too late because I saw my game saves weren't on there and checked the other one. Your pokemon saves are gone. I'm so so sorry."

Then it was a follow up of "I googled it and I recovered your game saves of everything except scarlet. I'm so sorry, I'll transfer you my ghost pokemon and shinies, or I'll delete mine. Please don't hate me".

My mention of autism in the post is for context. He is aware I'm autistic

Autism is a very important piece of info because neurotypical people don't understand the physical and mental pain we feel to certain stimulants.

−77

tomsaiyuk t1_j9elg6q wrote

Once again, you had time to check which switch you had "his" or "yours" you chose not too and one reason you gave was a side effect of your autism.

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Foxrex t1_j9f3pmn wrote

NT or just judgemental?

What is it like to be perfect?

−43

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9elou2 wrote

All I explained was my autism made me become really uncomfortable and frustrated I never said it made me do anything. I fully admitted it was my mistake to make in the post.

Also, our switches have extremely distinct features. My joycons are completely different looking and so is my dock Theyre even connected to different tvs in the same room

−55

IiteraIIy t1_j9h259r wrote

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. The way other ND folks seem to be the only ones able to actually understand what you're trying to say while everyone else is just downvote bombing you is really telling.

1

mbanson t1_j9hemm8 wrote

Man I don't have autism and I'm still shocked as to why the hell people are downvoting all of the comments from ND people. Its not like any one of the ND comments is worded in an assholeish way or completely disregarding the bfs feelings or justifying the OPs behaviour. They are simply showing an understanding as to why the OP did what they did.

It's kinda depressing to see how many jokes about having autism are made on reddit, yet how utterly unempathetic or understanding the plurality of users seem to be.

3

IiteraIIy t1_j9iemrb wrote

I honestly have a feeling that if OP had never brought up the fact they were autistic at all, people would be significantly less judgmental. I've seen posts with fuck-ups severely worse than this and no one gives them this hard of a time about their mistake.

−1

RandomActsOfKidneys t1_j9gqouj wrote

Ignore them. They won't understand. Mistakes happen when emotions are high and we start to get overloaded. Rational choices aren't made and you did your best to fix the situation. You're doing the best you can and I'm proud of you. 💕

−1

Verone272 t1_j9eoq02 wrote

I’m autistic too and I feel you 🥹 We do make lots of clumsy mistakes that’s a fact

−32

Bryonpokemon t1_j9dccau wrote

Aslong as it wasn’t mal-intent, he’ll get over it. He was just angry and speaking in the heat of the moment. Just gotta let him cool off and take some time, and keep apologizing so he knows you didnt mean it would be my advice

29

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9dctd4 wrote

Every time I keep apologizing or trying to make up for it (aka: saying I'll trade and breed pokemon for him, or even that I'll grind on his account for him till he gets back, or even completely restart mine too) he gets madder and tells me to "fing drop it"

−21

Trouble_in_Mind t1_j9dkkdw wrote

Let me put it this way - I have a tendency to over-apologize or try to push solutions for a problem when I perceive there is one.

This horribly frustrates some of my friends. Often, my insistence is only making the situation worse and more stressful.

Stop messaging him about it for now. If he's really having a bad trip, stressing further over the Pokemon thing isn't going to help. You can talk about it when he gets back, and that'll be okay.

You've already offered to give him Pokemon, which is nice, but I know some people aren't down for that. I appreciate you gave the suggestion that you could also reset and the two of you can start over fresh together.

And if he doesn't go for any of those, that needs to be okay. It won't be easy and you'll likely still want to "fix" it...but that isn't always the answer. You two can play more games together. ❤️

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OrphanSkate3124 t1_j9dly6w wrote

Let him be then, stop bringing it up. Give him space to breathe and think, or you’re only going to make things worse. Destroying something someone spent a lot of time on and was planning on spending a lot more is brutal, and what you are doing now is trying to assuage your own guilt at what you’ve done to make YOU feel better, not help him

46

nobervu t1_j9earnw wrote

Stop mentioning it / bringing it up unless he does. He said he doesn't want to talk about it, but you keep shoving it in his face.

Yes, he has a right to be pissed. Most likely he'll eventually get over it, but you continuously bringing up just because you feel guilty is making it worse. Stop.
If he valued your relationship he will get over it pretty quickly, but that's not going to happen if you -keep bring it up-.

16

AConcernedParent t1_j9dhdl3 wrote

Just give him space for now. He’s not having a good time on his trip but he will calm down. It’s just a game. My brother has deleted a few saves of mine in the past and I just let enough time go by where I forgot and then replayed the games in question. Don’t beat yourself up too hard pal.

11

CrossXFir3 t1_j9f5gtq wrote

Then drop it. Sometimes bringing it up, even if you really are sorry isn't the correct way to handle the situation. He may simply not want to think about it.

7

SkyrimIsForTheNerds t1_j9fcz9d wrote

Good gravy, listen to your damn boyfriend instead of thinking you know better what he wants than he does. You bringing it up constantly is just reopening the wound for him and of course he’s getting mad again. Give him time to mourn the time he’s wasted on the game before he realizes the time he’s really wasted has been in this relationship.

4

to7m t1_j9i4d0s wrote

This style of apology would seem to be actively breaking a boundary he's trying to set. If the apology is actively making the recipient feel bad, then stop!

2

Pinball-Gizzard t1_j9derl4 wrote

Put it this way, if he's the kind of guy who doesn't get over an honest mistake then you've got a bigger issue afoot.

−6

Any-Individual-4046 t1_j9h0vq3 wrote

i read the update where you said:

> A bit upsetting that people assumed our relationship was on the line over this. I never predicted that to be the case, as him and I have an extremely healthy relationship.

but earlier you did say

> And now I'm worried I destroyed our relationship over my dumb decision.

doesn't it mean that you also thought your relationship would be over?

27

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9h5vlv wrote

In writing that post, I was very distraught because I hurt someone I loved. I believe I exposed a deep fear that combatted my logic. Logically, I knew I mattered more to him than that. However on the illogical reactive side, My reaction was out of fear of his anger response, and hanging up on me. This isn't something he regularly does. It was another shock.

(Would also note that I'm not afraid because of him. He isn't scary and never intends to be scary, but I do fear the emotion anger in general).

Tl;Dr my brain wasn't being logical and I was typing out of emotions, ignoring obvious truths such as the healthiness of our relationship

−7

SavageRengar t1_j9g3usc wrote

I dont know if this will work in this case, but have you tried the menu screen method? While in the home screen of Scarlet/Violet, press B, X and Down on the d-pad at the same time. This pulls up an emergency save that the game does in the background. Usually used after crashes. Hopefully it works for you.

14

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9gq31p wrote

I did try :( unfortunately because the profile was deleted and readded, it started the game up like a brand new game, and there was no previous saves to load.

2

cheesemcpuff t1_j9edn8c wrote

I've had over 1.5k hours over two pokemon games stolen from me when I was younger, was I upset? Yes. Did I get over it? Yes.

If you truly enjoy a game you'll just do it all again.

6

Enorats t1_j9g0z08 wrote

To be honest, as someone who plays a heck of a lot of games and has been single for many years..

I can't think of a single save file I wouldn't happily trade for a relationship with someone I like. Heck, take em all.

Maybe I just don't get that attached to progress in a video game, but at the end of the day I really don't value them all that much.

5

kindaB1Gdeal t1_j9g42pj wrote

I’ll trade you some shinies if you decide to start his account again.

4

TRAFALGAR_D_Law_ t1_j9gt5to wrote

As a couple you guys will have many obstacles, fights and miscommunications. Everyone make mistakes. Relationships are all about having patience and forgiveness. Can't expect your partner to be perfect. He may sulk a bit but he should get over it pretty soon. If he can't get over a saved file then I don't see you guys working out at all in the long run.

It is your fault as you did not double check but it is hardly a big issue at all. He is old enough to get you did not do it intentionally.

3

InverseRatio t1_j9gvjp4 wrote

It's really awful that the Pokémon Company refuses to allow users to back up their Pokémon saves, allowing things like this to happen. They should know how attached we get to our Pokémon and how painful it can be to lose them like this.

3

KhmerCrops t1_j9gn5sx wrote

It'll take time for him to get over it. It'll be a high probability he won't play scarlet anymore.

2

TheDeadlySquid t1_j9h6518 wrote

I wish I knew what that meant, but I’m old and out of touch.

2

kkwers t1_j9fm8fl wrote

maybe you can delete your own save and start from beginning with him

1

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9gq8qj wrote

That was my plan, but he keeps saying he won't ever play it again and that suggestion made him mad

1

GoddessOfPotato t1_j9g8s9u wrote

Wait, did you delete the game data or the save data? Those are two different things. If you just deleted the game data, all that has to be done is a re-download. The save file saves on the system but Pokémon doesn't have cloud backup so looking there wouldn't help.

1

Contank t1_j9gkbql wrote

Saves on switches are tied to the profile. OP deleted the profile so all of the profiles local saves for every game will have gone with it

2

GreenEyedTrombonist t1_j9gbvsf wrote

Can you get a skin for his Switch from one of his favorite games (maybe not pokemon though)? Probably a good idea going forward to make sure this doesn't happen again.

He's upset right now, exacerbated by already having a bad trip, and is wallowing. You f'ed up, but if your relationship is otherwise strong he will likely forgive if the apology and efforts to make amends are sincere.

1

Arashi5 t1_j9gl43s wrote

OP, if your boyfriend ever goes get into Pokémon again, suggest he keep rare Pokémon like shinies in Pokémon Home when possible. Home is cloud storage so even if you delete his profile the Pokémon will still be there. I have collectively spent over a thousand hours in Pokémon games and keep my living dex, shinies, event Pokémon, etc. all in Home to prevent this exact situation from happening. Unfortunately, Pokémon Home isn't available for Pokémon Scarlet yet, so there was nothing that could be done in this situation. Home connection is coming this Spring, just in time for him to start the game again if he chooses.

The good side of that is that he didn't trade his beloved or now impossible to obtain Pokémon from past games to Scarlet because it's not possible to do that yet. There's really nothing you deleted from his game that cannot be obtained again, though if he had a lot of shinies and had a complete dex it'll probably take another hundred hours to get back to that point. I can't blame him for not wanting to dedicate that much time to redoing what he's already done.

Pokémon games are some of the few games that do not allow cloud saves on Switch because they don't want people to be able to clone Pokémon/get multiples of rare Pokémon. So if the profile gets deleted, the save file is gone. There's no fix for this unfortunately.

As someone else who is autistic, I'd recommend you step back and take a deep breath next time a change is bothering you. It can be tough to get over the impulsive response to reject change but putting up with things in your life changing is part of being in a relationship. Even if he did put a profile on your Switch, it's really not the end of the world, and not something that needed to be deleted without talking to him first.

1

Salindurthas t1_j9gybl3 wrote

When I was a kid, I borrowed a friend's copy of Pokemon Snap.

He told me not to overwrite his save (duh), so I played through the game only pausing and not turning off the console.

The problem was when I beat the game this way, and it autosaved at the end!

He was not impressed.

1

XTJ7 t1_j9hwn1u wrote

Also: maybe just pause playing Pokemon for some time until he caught up with his game, assuming he feels like playing it again. I would probably not want to start over for some time, but it depends on the game and my mood. However, if my partner deleted her save, that wouldn't make me feel any better at all. There is no reason to that :)

1

workthrowaway314159 t1_j9j8gxn wrote

> I plan to delete my save as well because I wouldn't want to play without him (seeing as I only played with the intent of it being with him).

Don't do that, just shelf the game. Maybe you can contine playing with him in some time, once you have some distance from the current situation.
If I was him it would feel like you are punishing yourself for his response, which might make the situation even worse.

1

MaxChaplin t1_j9u6pt2 wrote

If the 140 hours have been rendered wasted by the deletion of the save file, they were already being wasted while he was playing the game.

Playing a game is not labor or an artistic endeavour. The only purpose of gaming is to enjoy the moment. The feeling of progress and gradual collection of badges is an illusion that exists to serve the momentary enjoyment.

Your BF lost nothing of value. By weaning him off this game, you did him a favor.

1

nisaral_3 t1_j9dgqqi wrote

I know what that all the lost progress means. All the shinies. Since i play on switch too.. but it was clearly an honest mistake... He should eventually get over it..

0

[deleted] t1_j9diou9 wrote

[deleted]

−1

Fit_Lingonberry_9497 t1_j9djrez wrote

Yeah, because you wouldn't be upset over someone wasting all the time you put into something you love. If he stays upset, then I could see it being a problem

4

tosser1579 t1_j9gam94 wrote

This is on you. I wouldn't want to redo that much time into a pokemon game again. Fortunately, bribery has a way of fixing thing so pretty much be prepared to eat 140 hours of 'misery' to pay him back.

He gets to pick all the restarants for a while, go see his choice of movies, be extra nice to him. If he loves you, he'll eventually forgive you. I know I did when my wife sold my Final Fantasy II and III in box, plus my in box Chrono Trigger, for 15 dollars at a yard sale.

−1

Nemoch t1_j9ghs72 wrote

Oh no, I’m sorry for your loss.

1

mbanson t1_j9hfi6k wrote

Tbh this sounds kind of toxic, especially in the OPs case where it was an honest mistake, they felt incredibly bad about it, were honest and upfront about what happened, and are genuinely trying to fix things.

Maybe in your wife's case its a little harder to forgive right away seeing as its not exactly a spur of the moment action fueled by emotions. Its one thing to have the hurt/anger/frustration to last a while, but to not forgive them within like, 24 hours assuming you guys talked openly and dealt with the feelings involved? Seems messed up.

1

tosser1579 t1_j9i0fy2 wrote

This is a very hopeful view of human interaction. My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating, they just don't come up anymore.

If you could forgive something like this in less than 24 hours, you wouldn't have that significant of a reaction to its loss. There are few things in my life that merit getting bent out of shape over, and none of them are currently possessions. 130 hours of life and memories are a lot to this guy, and I don't even have 100 hours on any game save I'm currently playing. I have a book I'm working on that I'd be upset if it got deleted, but I have that worked backed up in triplicate so if there is a problem it is mine.

You break something someone loves you gotta pay for it, one way or another. Frankly, you don't want a partner that lets you walk over them like this without any repercussions. That's unhealthy. Forgiveness is well and good, but you have to see that the other partner is genuine and their acts and behavior go a long way to demonstrating that. Actual forgiveness takes time. If you see genuine remorse, that time can be shorter, but to forgive another who's done nothing to change their behavior is foolish.

My wife sold my childhood and some rare games I was keeping in a locked box for that she had to find. I forgave her in a few weeks, 20+ years ago.

The trick is you want actual forgiveness, not claimed forgiveness. Saying I forgive you is easy to someone you don't interact with often. Its harder when it is someone who you interact with frequently. A bit of claimed forgiveness will fester, and make the relationship harder. You are seeking the words "I forgive you" but in my experience those will be thrown back in someone's face unless they actually mean it.

−1

mbanson t1_j9i1cwc wrote

>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating

Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship.

I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal.

I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.

1

tosser1579 t1_j9i2dvb wrote

I see. I'm using it in the psychological sense of actually forgiving someone, and you are just lying to make the other person happy. That's super unhealthy.

−1

mbanson t1_j9i3a1g wrote

That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.

1

tosser1579 t1_j9i9hed wrote

Your explanation is lying with extra steps so you can self rationalize.

−1

mbanson t1_j9i9l31 wrote

Lmao no it's not but I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand nuance and healthy relationships based on your previous comments. Have a nice life :)

1

Joka0451 t1_j9j028l wrote

Manchild. Just game dudes, chill out and go touch grass. I love gaming myself but this is a childish and immature reaction to something that really does not matter.

−1

iloveembig t1_j9dj7fx wrote

I mean... You're still alive. You are still alive, right?

−2

AdamMartinez88 t1_j9gbkw0 wrote

Don’t over think it, he’ll just have to start a new, it’ll be fun and exciting. Maybe this new gf wont delete his game saves.

−2

Foxrex t1_j9f3u11 wrote

Do you want to make this right?

You better play his game in his account for like 150-200+ hours.

−6

idhdbd55 t1_j9di2y6 wrote

He'll live

−7

santasmosh t1_j9ecz0o wrote

Sometimes i wish i would go home and find out my gamesave file was deleted accidentally by someone i love more than my game file and shinies.

​

I suck at regulating/managing my disappointments too. But if I was your boyfriend, I'd still be hundreds of times lucky coming home to you.

−10

Verone272 t1_j9ep1j9 wrote

Aww that is so sweet 🥹

−3

santasmosh t1_j9hwlk6 wrote

Dunno why were being downvoted but maybe they think im hitting on you. Which im totally not btw.

Seen your update and im glad youu two communicated well afterwards. Managing stress (wc he got from your call) and disappointments are tough for some people, and I am proud of you two for talking it out.

0

yll0m0t t1_j9fjnee wrote

You're definitely not the asshole.

Your BF is the asshole here for flying off the handle over a game. You handled it the right way and told him the truth.

If this happened to me, I wouldn't be annoyed with my partner because shit like this happens.

−18

AtGamesEnd t1_j9hr1ag wrote

You wouldn’t be annoyed if something you cared about was just gone because of carelessness? Of course you get over it but humans have a right to be upset. This seriously makes me think you’ve never had an actual relationship with someone

1

yll0m0t t1_j9ipt26 wrote

Its just a game lol. Add to that the girl has got something up with her, the boyfriend needs to be more understanding.

I've been together with my wife for 14 years actually.

0

AtGamesEnd t1_j9iwzld wrote

Of course it’s going to cool down, but being mad upon first revelation is a normal human reaction. It detailed that the boyfriend was in the middle of something else stressful, and the response kind of pushed him over the edge. It also went on to sound like the guy has cooled off literally the next morning and is just trying to put it behind them, but OP wants to do something to try to make it up to him. I totally understand not wanting to start over in a game you have 140+ hours in, that’s normal. It sounds like he forgave her and she simply just still feels guilty and wants to do something that would make it up to him

Congrats on you and your wife being together for so long btw. No ill will on my end, just a different interpretation of the situation and what is a normal response to this specifically

1

justenskinner t1_j9fw5sl wrote

Your 31 year old boyfriend is acting worse than a 13 year old kid. Just saying.

−22

babygodzilla69420 t1_j9gbo6j wrote

You sound like a twat

6

justenskinner t1_j9giz72 wrote

I’d never speak to my wife the way that man decided to react about a video game. A mistake was made, but his reaction shows his maturity level and priorities pretty clearly.

−3

babygodzilla69420 t1_j9h2lmi wrote

His reaction is understandable considering 140 hours went into that data, and applied context. Get over yourself. Go never speak to your wife like that lol

2

AtGamesEnd t1_j9hqtd3 wrote

Ignore what it’s about, and just focus on the fact a careless action that impacted something he cares about. He’s allowed to be upset, just as you’d be allowed to be upset. You’re so focused on the fact that it’s a game and you don’t care about games that you’re entirely missing the point

1

RRoyale57 t1_j9f5108 wrote

30 year olds arguing about pokemon. 12 year old me is disappoint.

−29

rockstarpirate47 t1_j9ev74r wrote

You did him a favor . that shit is for children

−39

AtGamesEnd t1_j9hqgug wrote

God forbid people have hobbies that don’t align with yours, asshole

3

MajestaHazel t1_j9dwnnw wrote

What a man child.

−50

starwhal3000 t1_j9dywu1 wrote

Doesn't matter what the hobby is... he's reacting to the thoughtless nature of the accident that was born out of a spiteful action. She was angry and lashed out by deleting his profile, and has just done more harm than intended.

21

Bee-Banana OP t1_j9e1i68 wrote

I had never intended to do any harm We agreed upon getting the switches that mine would be specially for my games. Thus why I assumed he had done that without asking

−8

starwhal3000 t1_j9e1yzt wrote

And you wanted to lash out because there was 'change'. Did you even notice if there was a second profile on the Switch? I doubt you cared, because you were angry at him for using your Switch.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9e30tn wrote

Deleting my comment because it's useless to stress on a problem that cannot be fixed. I already feel like garbage, and have tried absolutely everything possible to fix the mistake I made. I cannot do anything except wait for him to cool off and give him space till he gets home

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starwhal3000 t1_j9e9qk5 wrote

There is no explanation required, but at the end of the day it was an action you took out of anger/frustration. Not for one second did you stop to check for a second profile (yours) before deleting his, unless you had a profile on his Switch even though he's not allowed to have one on yours.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ea0ty wrote

I had a profile on his switch because it was the first one I bought, mainly because he was interested in it for him to play and was 2 years old before I could finally justify buying another so we could play games together. He never got around to removing my old profile.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9eacd0 wrote

But the instant you think he has a profile on yours it's time to get rid of it, eh?

Sounds like you're a bit selfish and spiteful, even though I 100% believe you didn't mean to delete his primary profile... you still deleted his profile out of spite. Who the hell won't let their partner have a profile on their Switch? gif

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9eb8kz wrote

I don't think you understand autism

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starwhal3000 t1_j9edj6z wrote

I think you're looking for an excuse. If you could handle sharing a Switch and having two accounts before, why can you suddenly not stand for him to have an account on the second Switch? Asking people to understand autism is one thing, blaming autism for being an asshole is another.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ee3cd wrote

I bought the switch for him and only made a profile on it to play one game, then it was his. I then bought one for myself FOR HIM for the sake of playing games together. I was upset because a change happened that I wasn't prepared for. I don't process change well. That's why I'm saying you do not understand autism. I never said what I didn't wasn't shitty But I never ever ever did it with malice and if I at all knew he had his game data on that switch, I would not have done it. I didn't even know how. My friend showed me. You think this is some twisted "I'll show him hahaha" but it was literally me reacting in discomfort wondering why my system wasn't the way I left it and looking for a quick fix to the painful itching feeling I got in my body over it.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9efinp wrote

No, I don't think it's a twisted "I'll show him hahaha", I think it's a "Why does he have an account on my Switch? Help me get rid of it, now." Which still makes it a selfish and petty act that led to a massive FU. Autism makes you have the reaction to the stimulus but you still chose what you were going to do next, you made the choice to delete it without speaking to him after assuming he was the one being thoughtless. You're blaming autism for your choice to be an asshole. Being frustrated and bothered by your boyfriend having a profile on your Switch was something you can't control, deleting his profile was a choice though.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9efly3 wrote

It was also a mistake And the overall consequence was an accident

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starwhal3000 t1_j9efr29 wrote

It wasn't a mistake though, you intentionally deleted a profile because you wanted it gone. It was an asshole move to delete it even if it was your Switch, considering you still have a profile on his.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9efvh1 wrote

A mistake is an action, decision or judgment that produces an unwanted or unintentional result. Be definition, I made a mistake.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9egut6 wrote

It was a selfish choice that led to a mistake. I'm sorry you suffer from autism and it causes those feelings, but you chose to delete that profile... and that's why I said it isn't right to blame autism for asshole choices. Autism put you in a bad place and that cannot be controlled, but what you chose to do there is on you. You're 27... gif

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9eimdi wrote

I never once said that nothing was on me, infact in my post I definitely put full blame on myself and angry at what I did.

You continue to ask how I didn't think, and I sat there for the entire day asking myself that same question. But you're going about this as if I had malice, which is inaccurate information that makes me feel very uncomfortable.

I would never do anything to hurt him, and if I did remove his account from my switch, I know that action would not hurt him. I know him. I even asked him.

But ultimately, he has calmed down now. He knows I had no Mal intent and was glad I recovered all other game data but is disappointed in our game loss. He is still adamant about not playing anymore, which is what makes me sad, as I said in my post was a major bonding experience for us. We both grew up loving the games.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ei3qe wrote

So, what I said is still correct though. I still made a mistake And the consequence was accidental. By telling me I did not make a mistake, I made a choice, you're implying that a mistake is not an action, but it is. You can't make a mistake without a choice.

An accident is not a choice I didn't mean to delete his data off his switch because I was unaware it was his.

I'm not denying the choice

I'm sad because I made a bad choice: a mistake And the consequence was accidentally deleting his game data, which made him angry.

He would not be angry if i genuinely deleted his profile off of my own switch, because that would not matter to him. He was angry that he lost progress on a game we played online together and bonded over, which ultimately hurts me too because I don't want to progress without him, as I only had fun with him.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9ejidn wrote

I can understand that, I was just meaning it comes across less of an accident when an inherently selfish conscious choice leads to an unintended consequence. I'm saying the choice to delete the profile immediately out of the discomfort and frustration is where you were the asshole. I have similar feelings about change and it leads to a lot of disagreements with my partner, but if one of those disagreements was born out of what feels like a spiteful act it'd be more difficult to get over.

He's more than likely not ending a relationship over this, it'd probably need to be a pattern of behaviour before it got that serious... or he was looking for a reason to leave. But in this situation, I'd want to know why you needed to delete the profile immediately, as it affects nothing considering yours has never affected his Switch, instead of just playing with your friends on your profile until you could speak to him about why he would make changes without discussing it with you since it's a known issue. how to delete a profile.

But this entire engagement was due to me saying you deleting the profile was thoughtless and spiteful. If change were the issue, not having 2 profiles on your Switch after 2 years would've been uncomfortable, but you never created a second profile for your Switch... but the moment you see 2 profiles you're immediately compelled to learn how to delete it. That indicates something more than change bothered you.

​

ETA I'm glad it worked out for the most part. Autism affects you in unexpected ways sometimes, but you can't blame autism for conscious reactions. You knew you were deleting a profile. This was a situation where you just didn't pay attention during a kneejerk reaction.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ekxlo wrote

I would also like to point out that I never mentioned my autism to him when I called and told him. I 100% spent the entire conversation apologizing and taking full ownership, and trying to see if I could fix it. Autism was mentioned in this post for context.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9elu2p wrote

Fair enough, I just hate seeing autism blamed for so much. It's the new ADD, many are on the spectrum and self diagnosing. So as I said many messages ago, there's no explanation needed... it was a careless act born out of a selfish need to appease a feeling, because the profile existing was ultimately inconsequential... unlike missing scissors. You acknowledge this, it sucks, and life goes on.

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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9ek0lo wrote

This is a lack of understanding of autism.

I get frustrated by inconsistencies If I always but scissors in one spot, and I go to find them and they're not there, it means someone besides me moved them and I won't be able to complete a task in full.

If my boyfriend watches a zombie show on my Netflix profile instead of his profile (because we share a sub) then that means my algorithm is going to change into something I don't like, and that will stress me out.

I think you're implying that I don't like sharing, which is also a major autism trait, and is correct. But it isn't a matter of selfishness. I would rather purchase someone the exact same thing I own than have them use/eat/have my thing/food/item. Selfishness would be "you don't get this at all". Autism is "I want you to also enjoy this so here it is, for you, but this is mine because It needs to be the way I structure it, okay? But you do whatever you want to yours."

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starwhal3000 t1_j9ektac wrote

No I understand that, I'm saying you're blaming your inability to pay attention to what you're doing (the fact you didn't double check before deleting a profile) on autism and that should be embarrassing for you and anyone else suffering from autism who puts thought into their reactions from stimuli. The idea of 'selfishness' comes from you needing it gone before you can continue playing with your 2 visiting friends, and can't even spare a second thought.

Autism made you uncomfortable and frustrated with it being there, but being an asshole made you thoughtlessly delete it without double checking. I've said I understand why you were put off by seeing it there, and I've said why I thought you were thoughtless and reacted out of that anger/frustration... you're just not understanding.

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autistic_strega t1_j9e4a83 wrote

I'm sorry that you're getting hate here. Some of these people clearly don't understand autism.

You made an honest mistake, and if he loves you he'll get over it.

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Zedsaid t1_j9e363b wrote

You are assuming malice. She had to ask if she could remove data, she didn’t do it on purpose.

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starwhal3000 t1_j9e9dpn wrote

It was done on purpose. It could've easily been ignored and swapped to her profile to play until she could speak to him, but was caught up in deleting the profile for being there to begin with.

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Arashi5 t1_j9gkkj0 wrote

I'm a woman and I'd be devastated if anyone deleted a Pokémon save file of mine. This isn't some gamer manchild fit, that's hours and hours of dedication.

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AtGamesEnd t1_j9hqaq4 wrote

God forbid something happens to something y out care about. No need to be such an asshole

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AHarmles t1_j9dsy2n wrote

140 hours is not that much.. just find another game to get into. I have easily 1000+ days logged into world of warcraft. Gd. Web3 couldn't come sooner. One day all those shinies will just be in your crypto wallet as a nft. Not a dumb ass save Nintendo or Sony can ban you out of your account/ save.

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nobervu t1_j9eaxhv wrote

Initially, I thought "I'd hate to think how much free time you have on your hands daily if 140 hours isn't that much to you." But then I read how many days you have in WoW and everything cleared up.

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