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Some0neAwesome t1_j8n9a5g wrote

"It's the opening line to Bulwer-Lytton's 1830 novel, 'Paul Clifford', about a highway robber during the French Revolution."

For those who are too lazy to read the article.

1,197

AudibleNod t1_j8n9zst wrote

A Dark and Stormy is a cocktail with ginger beer, dark rum and lime wedge.

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YramAL t1_j8na3ne wrote

Snoopy wrote that. What are you talking about??

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AgentElman t1_j8naep4 wrote

Okay, that sentence is terrible. I've wondered because "It was a dark and stormy night" by itself is a good sentence to open with.

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SliceMcNuts t1_j8nagi4 wrote

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times . . .

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Logondo t1_j8ncjcy wrote

It was a dark and stormy night, and the captain said to the first mate: “first mate, tell me a story”, and this is the story he said:

It was a dark and stormy night, and the captain said to the first mate: “first mate, tell me a story”, and this is the story he said:

It was a dark and stormy night…

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cox_ph t1_j8ncn76 wrote

Is anyone else bothered by the use of both a semicolon and an em dash in this sentence, or is it just me?

−4

Landlubber77 t1_j8ncwg3 wrote

>...which blew my fancy little nips off the tips of my tits and did there make me spontaneously explode at my loins with an ejaculate so frothy it would cause the ocean's waves to turn green with envy.

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UtahUtopia t1_j8nd2hd wrote

I never understood the problem. I have had bright stormy nights and dark stormy nights. It’s not redundant.

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mossgard007 t1_j8ne56j wrote

This was the inspiration for "The Studdley Luckler Chonicles - Tales of the World's Greatest Defective. "It was dark. So dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face."

A hilarious adventure story of a guy who stumbles into becoming a private detective and solving gunrunning, government overthrowing, Chinese opium dealer crimes. Sarcasm and irony abound.

The second novel- The Search for Big Ben involves locating a British spy for MI-6 who has run off to deep, dark Africa to locate a lost diamond mine and discovers a secret German base where "anti-gravitational flying devices" are being developed (diesel powered chunks of flying iron that burn fuel and smoke like trains)

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IDK_Maybe_ t1_j8nfhwq wrote

For some reason I always thought wrinkle in time was the first book

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Bearded_Pip t1_j8ng3ow wrote

No wonder Snoopy stoped there. That’s a long intro.

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bolanrox t1_j8ng4vx wrote

Replying to mossgard007 (#1,818,718)

> This was the inspiration for "The Studdley Luckler Chonicles - Tales of the World's Greatest Defective. "It was dark. So dark you couldn't see your hand in front of your face."

then you were probably eaten by a Grue

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KillingHalfAnHour t1_j8ngthz wrote

That line from the Five Iron Frenzy song makes more sense to me now

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Mister-Grumpy t1_j8nh8jp wrote

Raymond Chandler

It's a Raymond Chandler evening

At the end of someone's day

And I'm standing in my pocket

And I'm slowly turning grey

I remember what I told you

But I can't remember why

And the yellow leaves are falling

In a spiral from the sky

There's a body on the railings

That I can't identify

And I'd like to reassure you

But I'm not that kind of guy

It's a Raymond Chandler evening

And the pavements are all wet

And I'm lurking in the shadows

Because it hasn't happened...

...yet.

~Robyn Hitchcock

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TheCloudFestival t1_j8nn8z8 wrote

Replying to myeff (#1,818,745)

Not only is the opening 'line' bad, but the book is essentially unreadable. It was written in the style of the time, which was a loose collection of several page long run-on sentences.

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themeatbridge t1_j8nrfyb wrote

Replying to jusmellow (#1,818,807)

This is a gold mine.

The 2021 winner in the Children's category:

>Despite an exhaustive search, rescuers were unable to locate young Christopher Robin in the Hundred Acre Wood before hypothermia took him, and the animals he once called friends descended upon his corpse like a silly old bear upon a pot of hunny.

>Paul Kollas, Orlando, FL

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themeatbridge t1_j8nrnh5 wrote

Replying to UtahUtopia (#1,818,632)

>It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

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ADDeviant-again t1_j8nrsln wrote

Replying to UtahUtopia (#1,818,632)

That clause isn't bad. It became famous for how bad the rest of the novel was, becoming a literary in-joke.

Bulwer-Lytton wrote incredibly long, convoluted sentences. His rambling metaphors often seem like he wrote himself into a corner for three paragraphs, then ended them abruptly. His stories are full of heavy-handed philosophy and on-the-nose comparisons. His prose is invariably grandiose.

Stuff like that.

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EmbraceableYew t1_j8nsbps wrote

This is from Edward Bulwer-Lytton. It is too bad that this seems to be mainly what he is remembered for.

He was a 19th-century English novelist, dandy, and politician. He was friends with and served with Benjamin Disraeli, another dandy/writer/ politician (and ultimately prime minister). EBL was colonial secretary . Pelham was a popular novel of his. Also The Last Days of Pompeii, among many, many others.

If I am not mistaken, ELB would get elected by explaining that under no circumstances should anyone ever vote for him.

It was a different time. I might be mixing him up with someone else on this point.

Anyway, he was an interesting and eccentric fellow.

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Some0neAwesome t1_j8nsfho wrote

Replying to TheCloudFestival (#1,819,477)

I read quite a few books from this era when I was in high school to try to expand my understanding of how the population perceived the world and how that affected common behaviors that have since gone to the wayside. You are absolutely right about the writing style. I was getting marked down for run-on sentences constantly on my assignments because the writing style rubbed off on me. To this day, I still have a habit of writing long, run-on sentences. That, or I overcorrect and end up with short and blunt sentences.

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Some0neAwesome t1_j8ntn1f wrote

Replying to jusmellow (#1,818,807)

I could probably submit something worth the read.

John looked down at his undesirable toast, cooked unevenly on the upper right corner, enough to trigger a looming sense of irritation stemming from the service workers inherent lack of pride in their presentation, as he wondered to himself whether or not the butter had successfully penetrated that specific piece of his crispy warm bread. It had not, but John was too lacking in courage, or spineless, as some would say, to bring attention to his utter disappointment in his toast, so he chose to eat it as-is, while wondering what a life of courage and assertiveness would be like. These were the type of questions that led John down a very dangerous path.

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ADiestlTrain t1_j8ntxiz wrote

It might be terrible, but there's not many people on this thread that will ever writing anything half so enduring.

Awful ≠ Forgettable

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TheCheshireCody t1_j8nwxle wrote

Replying to cox_ph (#1,818,597)

The two can be used interchangeably to a degree, but an em-dash more effectively serves as an interjection into a sentence. Usually that interjection is sandwiched between two parts of the sentence, but it doesn't have to be.

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nymphodorka t1_j8nxaml wrote

It's also the first line to A Wrinkle in Time. Obviously much later.

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sanfran_girl t1_j8o1fyl wrote

Replying to YramAL (#1,818,418)

Now I have that song stuck in my head. 😁

“Sometimes we writers take hours Finding exactly the right word It, it, it, it It was a dark and stormy morning Packed, flat, trite It was a dark and stormy evening It was a dark and stormy night Night, right!”

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DiogenesOfDope t1_j8o2uaj wrote

I figure alot of things start with that. It's a very basic description

1

Mister-Grumpy t1_j8o9hej wrote

Replying to sanfran_girl (#1,820,738)

Where did you first learn the poem?

Back in the mid 90s I got really into The Crow and poetry and I remember this poem was in the graphic novel comic book of The Crow and it hit like a ton of bricks.

1

Looking4DomTop t1_j8odeip wrote

Yeah, a lot of books from the 19th century weren’t known for their brevity.

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dylancatlow OP t1_j8oeaoo wrote

I think what makes it such an iconic sentence is that it's so perfectly lacking in originality that all share equally in the embarrassment that if not for its author, those words might have been theirs. All that separates him from the rest of us is that when creativity was refusing to make an appearance at the desired moment, he wanted the world to know it too.

0

DJDevon3 t1_j8oer70 wrote

"You just listen to listen to the ol' Porkchop Express and take his advice on a dark and stormy night alright. When some wild-eyed 8 foot tall maniac grabs your neck taps the back of your favorite head up against a bar room wall and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if you've paid your dues. You just stare that big sucker right back in the eye and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that. Have you paid your dues Jack? Yes sir the check is in the mail." ~ Jack Burton

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Vogon-Poetry-Slam t1_j8ojfdi wrote

Replying to jusmellow (#1,818,807)

2010 Grand Prize Winner:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

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nickeypants t1_j8oll45 wrote

Replying to Logondo (#1,818,588)

Once upon a time there was a Giant. The Giant squeezed Jack and said, "Tell me a better storey or I'll grind your bones to make my bread. And when your storey is finished, I'll grind your bones to make my bread anyway! HO, Ho, Ho!" The Giant laughed an ugly laugh. Jack thought, 'He'll kill me if I do, he'll kill me if I dont. There's only one way to get out of this.' Jack cleared his throat, and then began his story.

^(Once upon a time there was a Giant. The Giant squeezed Jack and said, "Tell me a better storey or I'll grind your bones to make my bread. And when your storey is finished, I'll grind your bones to make my bread anyway! HO, Ho, Ho!" The Giant laughed an ugly laugh. Jack thought, 'He'll kill me if I do, he'll kill me if I don't. There's only one way to get out of this.' Jack cleared his throat, and then began his story.)

^(Once upon a time...)

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IndigoMichigan t1_j8oni62 wrote

Replying to AgentElman (#1,818,433)

If he cut out the middle and put:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, checked by violent gusts of wind which swept up the streets of London".....etc.

I feel that keeps the sentence more lean.

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Bonneville865 t1_j8oss3s wrote

Thanks to OP, I now know that the novel didn’t end after the opening phrase.

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Ferec t1_j8our7m wrote

Replying to Some0neAwesome (#1,819,918)

I suspect you've probably heard the Gary Provost quote before but I always think of it when i worry about sentence length. There's nothing wrong with long or short sentences. You just have to vary them. I think English teachers forget that sometimes.

Anyway, for anyone not familiar with the quote...

>This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

100

Bonneville865 t1_j8ovady wrote

Replying to dylancatlow (#1,822,894)

I mean, it's a semicolon, so you could fairly easily replace that with a period and have the rest of the sentence play out.

And I'm not sure what you mean by giving it a different meaning. The rest of the sentence just further describes the storminess (and darkness) of the night.

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bokononon t1_j8p2etw wrote

Replying to Ferec (#1,822,917)

I suspect you've probably read Alexander Pope's similar lesson on writing :-) --

True ease in writing comes from art, not chance,
As those move easiest who have learned to dance.
'Tis not enough no harshness gives offense,
The sound must seem an echo to the sense:
Soft is the strain when Zephyr gently blows,
And the smooth stream in smoother numbers flows;
But when loud surges lash the sounding shore,
The hoarse, rough verse should like the torrent roar;
When Ajax strives some rock's vast weight to throw,
The line too labors, and the words move slow;
Not so, when swift Camilla scours the plain,
Flies o'er the unbending corn, and skims along the main.
Hear how Timotheus' varied lays surprise,
And bid alternate passions fall and rise!

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bokononon t1_j8p30cc wrote

Replying to jusmellow (#1,818,807)

″The countdown stalled at T-Minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first female ape to go up into space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakeably - the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career,″

  • Martha Simpson of Glastonbury, Conn, 1985 Grand Winner
228

dylancatlow OP t1_j8p5yte wrote

Replying to Bonneville865 (#1,822,957)

Semicolons aren't interchangeable with periods, otherwise we wouldn't bother with them. What they accomplish often could be easily inferred from the context anyway, but ambiguity of that sort can be jarring and unpoetic. If what followed the semicolon was not equally terrible, the sentence might have been salvageable.

−3

NaClslug t1_j8p6c1g wrote

I think I can sill remember Snoopy's version: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a door slammed. The maid screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon."

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Possible_Day_6343 t1_j8p7nm7 wrote

It was a dark and stormy night The toilet light was dim There was a crash and then a splash Oh no he’s fallen in

1

vlouisefed t1_j8pe0p0 wrote

I would ask my father to tell me a story and sometimes he would laugh and say... "It was a dark and stormy night, and the wind began to blow... and the Captain said 'Popeye tell us a story' and Popeye said " it was a dark and stormy night and the wind began to blow....." over and over and over and over.. until I begged him to stop.

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Smithers66 t1_j8pm5h7 wrote

Made famous by Snoopy via Charles Schulz.

2

jadnich t1_j8pmhmn wrote

It also opens A Wrinkle in Time

1

BDMac2 t1_j8pqgwb wrote

Replying to EmbraceableYew (#1,819,905)

His most impactful piece of writing is probably Vril, the Power of the Coming Race, a story about mystical beings who live inside the Earth. Theosophists such as Helena Blavatsky accepted this book as part of the secret occult truth of the world. Theosophists ideas about the “root races” such as the “Aryans” led to a lot of Nazi beliefs. So strange how a proto-science fiction book anonymously published in 1871 can help lead to one of the most brutal regimes in the history of the world.

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Al-Anda t1_j8pvi31 wrote

“Well, I love a rainy night.” -Eddie Rabbitt

1

Apostastrophe t1_j8pvzai wrote

Replying to myeff (#1,818,745)

The one about the woman doing some gardening reminiscing sexually seeing a “slug thrusting innocuously across the rhododendrons” about “planet Alderon and the alien who used to make love to [me]” is one of my favourite sentences in all of existence.

Every time I read I’m in pieces.

8

vixous t1_j8px8hb wrote

Replying to myeff (#1,818,745)

There’s also the Lyttle Lytton contest, where there’s the same prompt but a 25 word limit, which makes them funnier in my opinion. For example:

>Madison was a shy, awkward, inwardly beautiful teenaged girl just like you.

Or this:

>”Schlormp” went the knife as she plunged it into my heart, breaking it not only physically, but also emotionally, since I loved her.

They also have a found in the wild category, for other lines that would work for this but someone actually wrote somewhere:

> Her skin was pale, like a pale ale… but her hair was amber, like an amber ale.

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dlbpeon t1_j8pxgi5 wrote

It's a running Peanut's joke also. Everytime Snoopy starts writing with a typewriter on top of the doghouse, he starts out : "It was a dark and stormy night....."

8

Athomas16 t1_j8pytia wrote

Replying to Asphalt_Is_Stronk (#1,824,922)

It was only when the booming voice of the Sergeant-at-Arms rang out declaiming the surprising order for each and every member of the firing squad to shoot the Sergeant-at-Arms himself and then turn their rifles on each other, an order assiduously followed by the well-trained soldiers, that the cigarette-smoking, blindfolded Gerry Corker truly appreciated the seemingly endless hours his mother had denied him on the baseball field during his lonely childhood, instead sending him every afternoon to Crazy Barney’s School of Mimicry and Ventriloquism.

John Shafer, Tonbridge, Kent, UK

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SquareThings t1_j8pztbu wrote

The opening is famous because the book is legendarily terrible by the way

1

koiven t1_j8q1trc wrote

Replying to TatteredCarcosa (#1,825,830)

Well it has a parenthetical because its an aside and that's what parentheticals are for. Really it just reads like a typical 19th century sentence.

Writing was more ponderous back then

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RedditStrolls t1_j8qdudv wrote

Replying to IDontTrustGod (#1,825,866)

Let me check my email archives. But I'd love to caveat this by saying I write for a living and it's usually a lot better than what I'm about to share

Edit, my Lytton entry:

Warm, moist, pleased, Amaryllis snuggled further into the reaches of her bedding, spreading her legs uninhibitedly—muscle memory from when she used to welcome her lovers—she added her hands to the movement and the wetness woke her.

6

TatteredCarcosa t1_j8qfuf8 wrote

Replying to koiven (#1,826,196)

There's a reason this particular sentence has been remembered for its poor structure. I have read plenty of 19th century and earlier literature, being ponderous and long doesn't mean poorly structured or scattered.

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747ER t1_j8qi5y5 wrote

The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

4

changeseverything t1_j8qjqpw wrote

Replying to Logondo (#1,818,588)

My Dad used to tell me this one. His version was a bit more dramatic. It was a dark and stormy night, the wind blew and blew. The waves crashed against the boat, the mast creaked, the candle flickered and the captain said “aye mate, tell me a story” and the mate began. It was a dark and stormy night….

1

kaenneth t1_j8qlpnn wrote

Replying to myeff (#1,818,745)

“Dawn crept slowly over the sparkling emerald expanse of the country club golf course, trying in vain to remember where she had dropped her car keys.”

10

humancocainer t1_j8qstza wrote

Reminds me of when artistic simplification was illegal in Ankh-Morpork

1

grey_carbon t1_j8re28y wrote

"It was a cold and snowy day"

Mountains balais, Ustio

1

Key_Worth t1_j8reqlt wrote

All I can think of when I hear this opener is Snoopy toiling over his typewriter trying to begin his novel in a profound way.

1

flow_b t1_j8ryu4d wrote

I’m fairly certain it’s also how “A wrinkle in time” begins.

1

Solidsnakeerection t1_j8tctg4 wrote

It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning crashes and a new mother cries. Her placenta falls to the floor. The angel opens her eyes The confusion sets on before the doctor can even close the door. An old mother dies; her intentions fall to the floor. The angel closes her eyes. The confusion that was hers belongs now, to the baby down the hall.

1