As a 40+ year old queer woman, my experience is that it's gotten worse. Granted, I did notice a big drop off after turning 40, but changes to dating apps in that time seem to have gotten worse. I didn't really get a lot of engagement on Hinge to start with so that's about the same, but Bumble made a similar paywall change and I definitely noticed a big drop off in matches after that. Okcupid just keeps getting worse too. It used to be ok for a dating app, but the changes towards more of a swipe app have made it pretty useless. I don't think a lot of people use it any more.

Did you accidentally turn into a man? (Since that sounds like the experience of most men on the apps, if that).

But seriously - it's probably some impact from more effort to monetize users by reducing non-paid features. But I haven't heard of any app coming to take Hinge's place quite yet.

Also:

• If you're looking for conservatives/moderates/libertarians, maybe more of them have left the area since Trump left
• Is your profile actually that good? (unclear face shots (sunglasses, mask), no full body shot, prompts that limit who might be interested in you/make you look bad... maybe have a guy friend review or submit on a dating subreddit)
• It's possible you've just hit a weird dating age range for women in the area (feel like I've seen late 20s women complain about dc in the past), or you're looking for a weird age range for whoever you're interested in

Years ago I paid for the one time Bumble premium fee, and it's barely worth having it take up space on my phone these days.

Meet someone in person

Wait until you're 35, it's even worse!

Seriously, I totally agree with you. Thinking about moving, tbh.

Are you not getting any likes? Or do you not like the likes you’re getting?

Either way, OLD is nothing compared to actual human interaction.

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You have discovered aging. Fewer men will be interested in you because you're 27 rather than 22.

I am describing other people's preferences.

Also 27F here and recently reactivated my Hinge account. I’ve had similar results, but I’m also looking in a specific religious demographic. Most of the guys I’d be interested in reaching out to are consistently in my “standouts” (hello paywall), and haven’t had a match yet. I’ve heard it gets better the longer you keep the app active and interact with it semi regularly, so maybe hang in there?

People tend to swipe on people they find attractive.

Sometimes you’ll run into people who are into you, sometimes you won’t. I don’t think it’s a DC thing.

It’s a little unfair to say you’ve had bad luck on an app for roughly 30 days therefore dating as a whole in the city is terrible and has never been worse. When I did OLD I would get 30-60 day stretches with little action. Then one random weekend a slew of quality matches would show up in my inbox.

What search parameters are you using? What’s your age range? Try tinkering with those and see what happens.

You are getting older and men typically go for someone younger

28F and it's the same as it ever was for me. Hinge is kind of weird though and has never been like Tinder/Bumble for me where you get a million likes a day but obviously they have a low like limit.

I've also found winter to be slow time for dating. Things pick up a ton when spring/summer come around.

> A few years ago I was getting around 8-10 likes a day. It’s super weird! No major changes in my appearance over time, just gotten older.

how many years ago is "a few"? ive met plenty of women who i eventually discovered used photos that were only a year or two old and they looked clearly worse in person

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She's 27 not 38

I think this may be it honestly. I used to get a ton of matches and get less this year no major differences in my appearance either but I’m no longer 23 :(

I’ve found the standouts come to your regular stack the next day or two so look out for them there!

The good news is that there's a large cohort of other people aging in tandem with you, and the people who would only match with you because you were 23 aren't the best long-term prospects anyway.

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Men and women have different desirability curves on these apps. Women's goes down while men's goes up as we age. My experience as a nearly 40 year old male was amazing compared to what I had in my twenties.

Eta, funny to see downvotes for factual statements. The OLD sites release data sometimes. Don't like truth, cover you eyes and move on.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/

That’s not an age thing, it’s a photo filter thing.

these photos were not filtered

Isn’t there just fewer single people in their late 20s compared to early 20s?

True, I met a great man (finally) on the apps. Happy I didn’t meet him at 23, I was a mess back then!

Bc online is the only way to date

This. But like you said, the matches she gets now at 27 will likely be more serious than those of a 22 year old.

You’re going to get less matches than when you were 22, but the matches you do get will be more serious.

The way the apps work is you get the most attention (because your profile is shown more to others) immediately after joining it. So if your first few days (really first 24 hours) is underwhelming… well buckle up.

As a married guy who is literally twice your age hearing people say it’s an age thing really blows my mind. Could it be a function of the age of the people who use the app?

Most creepers will prefer as young as possible.

What this person is looking for May be moving more quickly in the serious direction than the average man around her age. Men in their mid thirties and up that are looking for someone serious will probably be less likely to be looking for a 27 year old the greater their age gets. Men in their late 20s/early 30s entering their first marriage at a high rate, and mostly exiting dating for a time.

I feel like it’s maybe a weird age demographically for women to date here

It's all about quality not quantity, just focus on the people and don't worry about matches per day...

Lol. Welcome to getting older. Youre no longer the hot fun 22 year old.

As a mid 40s guy it gets worse for dating.

No offense intended to anyone, I guess your are right. I prefer people closer to my own age. Mentoring/helping someone younger is satisfying but that’s really very different than dating/partnering. I guess what I’m trying to say is 27 is super-young and there’s a lot of good dating/partnering years ahead. At least I think so. My happiness quotient went up every year since my early 20’s! Supposedly most people’s does.

It could be a couple of reasons but I think it could be the algorithm for dating apps tend to favor more active accounts. Also. there are ebbs and flows of match traffic, for example, you'll have days where there's several likes/matches and then it gets "dry" with no matches.This happens to everyone no matter how well your profile is.

I am (32M) and have dated women in their mid 30s. 27 is still young. Not everyone wants to date someone fresh out of college.

It's unfair and easy to blame a city for how difficult dating is in general. I would just say keep doing your thing and find ways to meet people outside of the apps.

I (F 41) had great luck on Hinge. Just be honest with what you’re looking for, and adjust your settings accordingly. I’d rather have one decent match a week than a ton of “likes” that won’t amount to anything.

Sadly, this is true. I’m (F) a lot older than you, so can say that every year past about 25 makes women increasingly invisible. Some changes are welcome, like being able to walk past construction sites without being catcalled. Other changes are less welcome, like feeling ashamed of my changing body.

Just keep trying on the apps and putting yourself out there, but also do things you really enjoy even if it doesn’t lead to partnering up, is my advice.

Didn’t a huge percent of the population move away during COVID?

Eh as a 29 year old dude, in a vacuum, I'd prefer 27 to 22

See this post every year

Objectively speaking, I could see 27 being a weird age for girls. You may be getting unjustly filtered out. 27 could be seen as too old for the college or just out of college crowd, but also seen as too young for the mid 30’s guy who’s never been married and finally ready to settle down.

Don’t internalize it, but number wise, who does 27 appeal to? It may have nothing to do with you but more to do with search filters.

Again, I’m just providing insight since you asked. I’m sure you’re a lovely person, and I remember how confusing OLD was (I met my wife there), and I know I would have appreciated honest answers.

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There's a great podcast series that examines how dating apps work and how they are constructed to NOT get you a permanent relationship. Stop relying on apps, and meet people in person through other means.

Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/land-of-the-giants/id1465767420

Don’t bother with Tinder (especially in the DMV). Smh

> Fewer men will be interested in you because you’re 27 rather than 22.

Leo, dog is that you?

Wish there were more 35 year old divorcees on the market personally 🤣

Those guys aging in tandem are still looking at the 23 year olds unfortunately.

It seems like the only people worthwhile are people that are divorced, but you have to catch them quick before they end up in another relationship. They went through the rinse cycle and came back out. 😂

I agree with this entirely. I remember being single at 28 after a 7 year relationship. I was so awkwardly aged for everyone. People in their early 20s saw me as old, people in their 30s saw me as too young for anything serious. People my own age where I lived were often grad students with little life experiences because all they'd done at that point was being in school, and we had nothing in common. I legitimately had a 22 year old call me a puma because I was like a "young cougar" at 28. I did not enjoy dating and often felt bad about myself.

In my 30s now and things are much better. 30-40 things even out a lot more, there are less extreme differences in lifestyle and maturity in this age range, so 30/39 is totally reasonable whereas 20/29 would have been a lot more weird.

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Some of them are, but not all of them. And this person's age has already filtered them out, so the problem is solved.

Yeah there is a sweet spot after they've processed through the divorce and are single. I was definitely a hot mess after mine, they need a year or two to figure themselves out and get over it.

Unless you're just looking for something casual, in which case they are a good catch. Definitely are not going to be locking you down.

It’s only a 5 year difference in which your appearance changes little, I don’t understand this

There are two factors. The first is that some men set filters to eliminate women above a certain age. The second is that these men may notice signs of aging that you don't.

Yea this is the exact scenario I’m thinking in my head. Young guys want to party and think she’s trying to get married, old guys want to settle down and not experience hangovers, and think she wants to party. Guys her own age are probably either in relationships or lack the same life experience because they’ve been focused on grad school or work.

I’d probably flat out put “young at heart and still ready to party” or “ready to avoid hangovers and find my partner” based on her goals. Atleast that would broaden her appeal to the target audience.

Men don’t even know how to put their socks in the laundry hamper or know that hanging sports memorabilia or flags on their walls are not consider interior design. You’re telling me they have the eye to spot the minor details of aging 5 years in your 20s? And that such minor details is enough to write a woman off? Give me a break.

Yes

@simply_soft it’s competitive out there, especially if you’re chasing what most 27 y/o single women are chasing… a charismatic good looking guy, in shape, no kids, over 6ft tall, makes 6 figures, and has his shit together… My advice to all singles- step up your game, adjust your dating preferences, and your expectations. Also try flirting irl. Good luck!

These must be the same dudes who go bald by 27

very few of them are. huge misperception IMO. like, do you think a 28-32 year old guy likes dating a a 22-23 year old? there's huge difference in life experiences between early and late 20s.

She's 27 not 22.

Yes. And many guys like cougars + MILFs

I wanna emphasize that second point. I'm a 31M and have seen what feels like 1 million of the same basic profiles and I don't wanna send a like and put effort in unless they seem to be more engaging. High quality prompt answers that give material to actually start a conversation are necessary imo. We're all more jaded in the age bracket tbh

Interesting. As a 26M I've been having a great experience lately.

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