You shouldn't get engaged to anyone after only six months in, even if your sparks are so big they're catching the roof on fire.

You also shouldn't get engaged if you're not truly.happy with the way the relationship makes you feel and you're eager to feel that way forever.

Please stop seeing this old man who rapes you, insults you, treats you like garbage, and is trying to trap you with a pregnancy

Everything about this is horrifying. If you're telling the truth, then you should realize that your "relationship" situation is so awful, on so many levels, that it's very hard to believe it's real.

Please stop seeing this old man who rapes you*, insults you, treats you like garbage, and is trying to trap you with a pregnancy

*Even if you consent to start having sex with him, it becomes rape when he knows that you are unhappy and want to stop and he continues anyway.

Why was she more capable of taking care of the kid with what was available in the house, than you were?

"Sorry, no time to talk, have a good one."

So you're complaining that they treat you like a child, while also saying that you can't be expected to go act like an adult without them holding your hand.

Literally, Google (and YouTube, and Reddit) can get you through this. Look up how to get a car or get insurance or rent an apartment or anything else. Read at least a few articles and watch some videos. Then go do it.

Pretty sure what's happening here is that he just wants to be married for some reason, which is why he asked someone he barely knows and doesn't want to put any money or effort into the wedding.

He's not going to put any more effort into the marriage, either. This is not a real thing, this is him checking off a box.

You say he's a good person but you don't know who he really is. In part because you just met him and in part because he's been trying to convince you to marry him. (And even then he couldn't be bothered to get you a Valentine's Day gift? This is him at his best, dude.)

He's not trying to get citizenship, is he? That's just the most obvious ulterior motive for going through the motions of a wedding.

You can't make him not want to treat you like garbage. If you're choosing to stay with someone who's going to treat you like garbage, that's the choice you're making.

If you knew that none of the stuff that bothers you about him was going to change, would you be excited about spending your life with him?

When you have "sought advice" from other people, was it about the issue ("I am upset about X") or was it about fighting with your wife about the issue ("I am upset that Wife disagrees with me about X or won't do what I want her to do about X")? What kind of advice did you receive? Was it helpful? Was it more helpful than talking to your wife about your feelings?

Decide that you don't want a marriage like that, and make it clear to him that if that's what he wants, you will make other plans.

And he's telling you he isn't going to talk about it or acknowledge what's going on. So are you going to sit there and accept being treated like garbage?

He is abusive and he is not going to change. Your children are being damaged by growing up in this environment. You need to make a plan and leave.

Since what he says is meaningless, stop paying attention to it. What do you want to do about the fact that he's treating you like shit?

You should decide whether you want to build a life with someone who chooses not to work while you pay his bills, and then insults you for it. I don't know why the answer would be yes.

Stop telling yourself that this struggle is worth it because maybe someday he'll have steady work and then he'll be a completely different person.

You're just propping this guy up and nursing his emotions while you shut up about your feelings and your offense at his shitty and insulting attitude. He doesn't appreciate you; he uses you as a punching bag to relieve his own shame instead of actually doing anything about it, like getting a job that may not be his first fucking choice.

If you aren't currently in therapy focusing on why you see it as your job to "fix" this jerk by letting him treat you like garbage, start ASAP.

I am really curious where she even got that "joke" from, because I'm a decade older than her and even to me it's antiquated. A thought I have is that she and her friend may have picked it up from some show or video that was using it ironically and they don't even realize the original context. I would start by asking her where she heard it, and then explain why you found it so offensive.

He doesn't respect you. He thinks he's entitled to have you do whatever he wants. He does not consider you an equal partner whose feelings are as important as his. The reason he's dating someone so much younger than himself is that he can treat you like this and you'll accept it instead of having the confidence to demand respect.

Don't date people who are mean to you.

She doesn't like you. She doesn't care about your feelings. Why are you choosing to be with someone like that?

Jesus Christ. There is no universe where you should continue to live your life to take care of a man 40 years older than you who would rather be homeless than get a job. Accept that he is not your responsibility, figure out the best plan for yourself, and get a divorce. This is never going to get better for you. He is manipulative and selfish.

He sounds like a jerk who likes telling you what to do and making you feel bad.

He could change in the way you want. He could also go to law school. Or decide to move to France. Do you want to make decisions based on the possibility of things that seem to have no realistic chance of happening? If you stay with him for five years and this hasn't changed, will you be glad you waited around just to see if it would?

Okay, do you want to keep going through that over and over?

What makes you think he's interested in "working on it"?