After my prostate exam, my doctor had a grim face. Suddenly he stood up and left, almost running. Soon after, the nurse comes in, and utters the words that every man fears most in such a situation: "Who was that guy?"

UncleMark58 t1_jefxciu wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:48 PM

#2,543,994

Hear about the proctologist that had no friends, everyone he knew was an asshole.

ShortfallofAardvark t1_jeg0fuy wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:08 PM

#2,544,971

My doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my prostate. He couldn’t quite put finger on it.

DerRaumdenker t1_jeg1ey2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:15 PM

#2,545,272

I went to the doctor for an examination

"I think you should stop masturbating"

"Why doc?"

"Because I'm trying to examine you"

Minimum-Head-6593 t1_jeg3f8a wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:28 PM

#2,545,891

Replying to ShortfallofAardvark (#2,544,971)

The problem was right under his nose

[deleted] t1_jeg46nl wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:33 PM

#2,546,152

[deleted]

Vishwasm123 t1_jeg4ma8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:36 PM

#2,546,285

Doctor told me to Stop mastrubating.

He wants to examine me.

Major_Magazine8597 t1_jeg58j3 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:40 PM

#2,546,504

Replying to ztreHdrahciR (#2,541,833)

Assholes!

pog890 t1_jeg5g0y wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:42 PM

#2,546,595

I went for a prostate exam it went well right up to the moment I heard the doctor whispering “Could you hold my thumbs please?”

GhostShark t1_jeg8e78 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:01 PM

#2,547,568

I recently got in touch with my inner self.

I’m never buying cheap toilet paper again.

rascible t1_jeg9rqz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:11 PM

#2,548,029

Replying to Make_the_music_stop (#2,535,152)

Worst. Dentist. Ever.

Finrod_the_awesome t1_jegbkkf wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:23 PM

#2,548,592

The worst part of my exam was when I realized he had both hands on my shoulders.

Finrod_the_awesome t1_jegbtof wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:24 PM

#2,548,675

Replying to Behold_the_Turnip (#2,540,345)

My dentist joke that my wife and I both have a gag reflex. It took me awhile to remember that we don't have the same dentist.

Finrod_the_awesome t1_jegc4ox wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:26 PM

#2,548,773

Replying to Waitsfornoone (#2,534,271)

For me it was a van. Some of it was my fault. I have to stop taking candy and happy juice from strangers.

12altoids34 t1_jegcg4o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:28 PM

#2,548,873

Replying to Finrod_the_awesome (#2,548,773)

Hey, with medical cost being the way they are, you get your free medical exams wherever you can get them.

Finrod_the_awesome t1_jegcym0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:32 PM

#2,549,054

Replying to 12altoids34 (#2,548,873)

I just wish he didn't insist on a weekly follow-ups due to the history of cancer in my family. But he just wants what's best for me.

peter_the_martian t1_jegd9m5 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:34 PM

#2,549,179

Replying to Make_the_music_stop (#2,535,152)

I’d like a moment or two alone with this comment. Is that okay?

chippstero1 t1_jegdsfb wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:37 PM

#2,549,376

Replying to Finrod_the_awesome (#2,548,773)

N don't fall for the free wifi in the van trick either cuz he didn't even have free wifi fuckin liar I hate when ppl lie to me

jimmymcstinkypants t1_jege41g wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:39 PM

#2,549,497

Replying to ashamedprotein (#2,543,673)

As the doctor finished my prostate exam and the nurse entered the room, she said the 3 words you never want to hear: "Who was that?"

ahclem38 t1_jege9ef wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:40 PM

#2,549,548

My doctor told me I had the prostate of a thirty year old. I told him I swore I didn't know how it got there.

jmtbkr t1_jegff0j wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:48 PM

#2,549,967

After my last exam, I asked my doctor if he could remove his ring next exam. His answer was, “That’s not a ring, it was my wristwatch!”

Altruistic-Rip4364 t1_jegfjpl wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:49 PM

#2,550,012

Not sure how I feel about this. Can’t put my finger on it.

FootballerWithRizz t1_jegfqpi wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:50 PM

#2,550,095

Without examining cause my step mom told him

hirschhalbe t1_jegh2bd wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:59 PM

#2,550,584

Replying to Altruistic-Rip4364 (#2,550,012)

Then you gotta try harder

Reddit_Jax t1_jeghduz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:02 PM

#2,550,684

Replying to Finrod_the_awesome (#2,549,054)

I'll bet you'd be happy with weekly follow-ups if he was a she.

BobT21 t1_jeghtyz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:05 PM

#2,550,840

One of my (at the time) very young nephews asked my also very young son why their Grandfather (my Dad) urinated so much. My son said "I think he has an enraged prostitute."

Altruistic-Rip4364 t1_jegi9o7 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:08 PM

#2,550,999

Replying to hirschhalbe (#2,550,584)

Lol. Or not trim my nails

salawow t1_jegikix wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:10 PM

#2,551,096

Doctor: Bend over please.

Doctor: Your rectum is very tight, i'll go a bit deeper.

Doctor: Do you feel it when i move my finger like this ?

Patient: Yes, it tickles a bit

Doctor: And now ?

Patient: Oh my, don't move so fast !

Doctor: Ok, i'm done, now i will pull my finger out.

Patient: So how is my prostate ?

Doctor: Your what ?

Patient: What ??

Doctor: What ?

thereaverofdarkness t1_jegjqfj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:18 PM

#2,551,529

Replying to Reddit_Jax (#2,550,684)

no

sunrisepicker t1_jegl6x6 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:28 PM

#2,552,114

Thumbs up

legends_never_die_1 t1_jeglhgu wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:30 PM

#2,552,217

Replying to beesadventure (#2,540,388)

Bahahah

07tartutic07 t1_jegm7dx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:35 PM

#2,552,525

Replying to sunrisepicker (#2,552,114)

I hope it was given outside and not while inside

legends_never_die_1 t1_jegmjbn wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:37 PM

#2,552,661

Replying to salawow (#2,551,096)

i would take that as a compliment

carlcast t1_jegmnbm wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:38 PM

#2,552,699

What a lovable asshole you are

Alaska_Jack t1_jegmy5a wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:40 PM

#2,552,820

Better first line:

My doctor told me he was concerned about my prostate.

CaptBilgeplug t1_jegn4xn wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:41 PM

#2,552,882

I thought I had the greatest proctologist ever. During my procedure, a nurse came in with a cold case of Bud Light.

The Doctor started yelling at her saying, “I said I need a butt light dammit, not a bud lite.”

I was able to grab a beer on her way out so I was good.

Henry-Moody t1_jegn58o wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:41 PM

#2,552,886

ok you got an exhaled sniff-laugh from me. that was good

ThePhantomPooper t1_jegndd1 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:43 PM

#2,552,988

Replying to DerRaumdenker (#2,545,272)

I like to say my female dentist when I tell this joke.

Astronopolis t1_jegnzxw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:47 PM

#2,553,217

Replying to thereaverofdarkness (#2,551,529)

Good “yes, and”

_HeyGFY_ t1_jegp2kw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:55 PM

#2,553,629

Replying to Finrod_the_awesome (#2,548,592)

That's what you get for seeing a proctologist named Phil McCracken

hardlyknower t1_jegr9s9 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:11 PM

#2,554,546

That’s nice. Bet it made your hole weak.

theroadlesstraversed t1_jegrnai wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:14 PM

#2,554,720

My doctor told me my prostate was healthy, I said that's great but I came here for a teeth cleaning.

anonymous_212 t1_jegsu3k wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:22 PM

#2,555,221

A guy came home from the doctors and told his wife that he was diagnosed with an enlarged prostate gland. He told her that the good news is that the doctor can treat without surgery by giving him a weekly prostate massage. His wife asked how much is that going to cost? The guy said $50. She said maybe I can give it to you so we can save the $200 a month, tell me how he does it. The husband said that’s a great idea. First I drop my pants, then I lean over the table, then he stands behind me, then he puts his right hand on my right shoulder and then he puts his left hand on my left shoulder, Hey! Wait a minute!