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RabidBeaverLake t1_j9bowvw wrote

If you don't want it publicly revealed, never tell anyone.

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seamustheseagull t1_j9ejz3d wrote

This. And you know there are people you trust very strongly with secrets, but you never know under what circumstances they might reveal it to someone else.

I learned from a very young age to keep information to myself because my mother is incapable of keeping secrets to the point of defiance. Nothing I or my siblings told her was kept secret, we all knew about each others' business in short order. She has always insisted this is a good thing and secrets are bad (and yes, she has no secrets either...), but I know now in hindsight why this was an awful policy.

So some of us learned to never say anything.

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epi_glowworm t1_j9g3n5t wrote

Silence is golden. Besides, sharing secrets is very intimate.

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Neon-Nina t1_j9g5kwb wrote

Why I don’t tell my mom anything anymore lol took me a long time but I finally learned.

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dekenmeester t1_j9es4do wrote

You need better friends

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RabidBeaverLake t1_j9exf2u wrote

That's quite a presumptive statement. Was I speaking from personal experience? There's no way for you to know!

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chrisd93 t1_j9evk8b wrote

Tbh I wish I played real life like I do with RPGs with variable endings based on your decisions and conversations with npcs

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AGripInVan t1_j9f9qi1 wrote

My life would have gone a lot better if i had Skyrim-options of communication. I realize naturally I would antagonize. But in the game, friendliness was the obvious choice.

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WhoGivestoFox t1_j9bp03l wrote

Two people can keep a secret, if one is dead

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Zumvault t1_j9ch112 wrote

That never made sense to me, the RIGHT one has to be dead.

The second someone dies every secret they ever had starts getting out and around cause there isn't any consequence now.

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AdolescenceOfP1 t1_j9g8nll wrote

Yep. But it's worse: There's no guarantee the first one won't blab either. They both might have learned the secret together at the same time (say, they come across buried treasure). Two people can keep a secret if they're both dead.

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Rodarte500 t1_j9do6tk wrote

Had this playing in my head all day!!!!

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OwlrageousJones t1_j9dtfjx wrote

Got a secret, can you keep it, swear this one you'll save? Gotta lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave~

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boooor t1_j9c9ek3 wrote

Never speak to anyone at work. Grunt and growl if someone tries to speak to you.

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peachee007 t1_j9dv71n wrote

Hissing is another great deterrent to conversation.

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isendingtheworld t1_j9efaxw wrote

No, tell them all slightly different fake personal details and see which one becomes most popular. Keep em busy.

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Content_Annual_7230 t1_j9g1vjo wrote

I actually had a boss who used to spread rumors about himself to see how far and fast they would spread. It was pretty funny tbh. Probably because I got to be in on the secret.

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PDM420 t1_j9ctexi wrote

I have a really hard time comprehending how people can spend so much time and energy socializing with co-workers they secretly despise, while acting super friendly towards one another, and then bitching about said co-workers around their back the first chance they get.

I have co-workers who literally the only thing they do all day is complain. The place of works sucks, the boss it terrible, all the co-workers except us here in this room are bums, etc.

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BodomDeth t1_j9drcvf wrote

They’re creating their own reality show because they’re bored and their lives suck. Not everywhere is like this

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Zen_Coyote t1_j9dtums wrote

I was the only male in an all-female department. The amount of whispering going on all day long sounded like steam escaping.

And, yes, they were all a bunch of backstabbing phoneys.

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brokeneyes_ t1_j9ga2pt wrote

I (male) work in a department that is predominantly female (less so now than it was when I was first hired). When I first started, one of the women there told me they were so glad that the manager was hiring more men, because most men don’t participate in the drama the way many women do, and it tones the whole thing down to make it less of a problem.

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obsidiankaleidoscope t1_j9gdodz wrote

I just left a factory job, because my coworkers were too gossipy and backstabbing. I was the only female in my department. I often got blamed for “ratting” on my coworkers, even though I never complained about a single thing. One guy made up lies about me and triangulated a few of my other coworkers against me simply just because i wouldn’t flirt with him (he’s married and i wasn’t attracted to him). It’s definitely not just a female thing.

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goghfigure t1_j9eb0do wrote

Mostly it’s when people I already don’t like come up to me and I don’t want to get written up for being rude and “creating a hostile work environment” for ignoring them.

So I’m SOL when it comes to who I socialize with

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why_tf_x t1_j9dewie wrote

That's why I never say shit at work, coworkers I don't like? Haven't said anything. Drama I was told? Not a chance I'm saying a damn thing. My coworker dipping early? Not my problem. Someone acting sus? Not my problem. I'm there to do a job and once my time is up I'm done and I leave, I'll play nice and make 'friends' but by no means do I trust anyone in that place

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darkest_irish_lass t1_j9dmkko wrote

Absolutely. Unless you want to test the waters with someone. Offer them a little tidbit and see where it pops up.

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xstrike0 t1_j9dnms0 wrote

Yep I do this in a new workplace. Controlled releases of harmless information to see where it goes.

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_Dry_View_ t1_j9eujyc wrote

Harmless usually means no juicy. No juicy gossips aren't going anywhere, noone wants to talk about them. You have to offer them some real bait to see what happens.

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sirsmiley t1_j9exo9r wrote

For example that you're packing nine inches all the time and your pants are always uncomfortable.

Give it one business day and everyone gives you bizarre looks at your waist level.

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starsfavoritebook t1_j9f291v wrote

Not true. I told someone at work where my parents moved from and heard it from someone else three hours later. They don’t care. It will spread.

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why_tf_x t1_j9dpf3g wrote

Yeah that's what I'm doing where I am, I told one person about my insomnia, I go back in Wednesday let's see how well that goes

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frogger2504 t1_j9eyv9s wrote

>Drama I was told? Not a chance I'm saying a damn thing.

I fucking love my workplace drama. I work at a bar, so it's all alcohol/party fueled shit like "Jane got drunk and fucked Alice's boyfriend", "Bob had to kick Peter out for having sex in the bathrooms again", "Sarah's new boyfriend is the DILF regular" just absolute high-school level shenanigans between 20-40 year olds. It's like my own personal TV drama. But, I never stir the pot. I've never told anyone anything else I've heard. I'm also married and don't drink, so I've never been involved in any of it either. As a result, everyone trusts me with their drama, and I get even more of it. It's great, and I highly recommend keeping your mouth shut when it comes to workplace drama.

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why_tf_x t1_j9fyfb3 wrote

Yeah with anything I'm told I don't say shit but some of it is real funny

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heyiambob t1_j9etbta wrote

Should reframe as never say bad shit. It’s great to praise people at work and in life generally

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rotating_pebble t1_j9e8tnp wrote

Thank you, I’m glad to see there are others like us out there. I now have a strict rule of no phatic communication and no eye contact while on the clock. Initially it began out of a bit of awkwardness on my part, but after sitting to one side (for the better part of a decade) and listening to some of the absolute dross these phillistinian pigs come out with, I am in actuality glad that I maintain my self-imposed isolation. It’s always refreshing to see people do exist like me out in this crazy, funny thing we call “Earth”.

Take care brother… and remember, never change… for ANYONE.

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dudeab1des t1_j9c85rw wrote

Another reason why not to date co-workers as well

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willowalloy t1_j9crdfz wrote

What do you mean? I am about to do that

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Impressive-Ad5629 t1_j9csh3f wrote

Only date a coworker if you’re sure you can handle the repercussions if you break things off. Mixing emotions in a professional environment is not always a safe idea.

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heavyarmszero t1_j9cxyck wrote

If it's a big company with multiple divisions/offices it's not that big of a deal. But if you will be dating someone from the same division as you, that's gonna be really problematic.

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special_kitty t1_j9cxfdw wrote

There's an expression, don't dip your pen in company ink.

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peachee007 t1_j9dvaoo wrote

Another saying….don’t get your bread and meat in the same place.

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_Dry_View_ t1_j9euu1a wrote

There's a saying in Spain about the same: don't put you penis in the place where you have your pot.

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Alpha_Sluttlefish t1_j9dujh7 wrote

If you decide to date a coworker, you have to also decide that the potential relationship is more important to you than your job. It's do-able, but much more likely to lead to drama than most new relationships. If things go wrong, one or both of you may need to leave. It's a bigger deal if you have a long-term career with the company, less so if it's a casual job and you won't have trouble finding other work if necessary.

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Rare_Basil_243 t1_j9dto85 wrote

"You don't shit where you eat." If you split and it's not amicable, prepare for your job to suck bad now.

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Noreallyimacat t1_j9f7jgb wrote

I shit at home and I eat at home. Do other people not do that??

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Ex-zaviera t1_j9irisy wrote

Don't get your meat where you get your bread.

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DarkMoS t1_j9enylq wrote

Don’t shit where you eat, if the relationship goes sour can you keep working in a serene environment?

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SarcasticDevil t1_j9ex0qt wrote

Bah just do it if you want to, ignore all the naysayers. There aren't really any rules to this and none of these people know your situation.

Also most people in this thread can barely even comprehend speaking to a coworker, let alone dating and banging one

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FeralBaby7 t1_j9bqc8n wrote

Yes and yes. There are no friends when it comes to secrets you don't want known.

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Select_Action_6065 t1_j9bqtif wrote

Also, if someone in your office tells you something just keep it to yourself.

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CPS2 t1_j9eveq4 wrote

But that guy who's been here for 10 years and never been promoted is sleeping with that new girl she's totally sleeping her way to the bottom I can't even imagine why anyone would do that if they weren't both on drugs (they are both on drugs)

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Hungry-Let-9172 t1_j9df9m3 wrote

Coworkers are not your friend, they are fellow hostages.

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willowalloy t1_j9bqfsp wrote

And if you're going to talk about someone behind their back imagine them standing right in front of you

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MET1 t1_j9e2kwt wrote

I tested a co-worker once - I told them that when I have vacation time I like to sit in the park and paint. Not something I have done and never told anyone else. A few weeks later my director mentioned something about how I could not rely on sitting in the park and painting as an occupation. Lesson learned.

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aminbae t1_j9ed4zw wrote

you should have told your director that whomever told them that is not to be trusted as you told them in secrecy

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ForceOfAHorse t1_j9eikqa wrote

Do you really think that some random fact like that is supposed to be "a secret"? If you told me that you like to paint in the park I wouldn't think it's some kind of a big secret.

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marisolm9 t1_j9eucoe wrote

The lessons being their coworker blabs any personal info on their coworkers to boss and the boss, apparently, weaponizes this info.

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ForceOfAHorse t1_j9f0vvf wrote

Oh no, people talk to each other!

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marisolm9 t1_j9fwil8 wrote

The point here, and of this whole post, being... watch what you say to others, especially people you work with.

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aminbae t1_j9kj0ep wrote

true but you want your and their boss to think said person is a blabber mouth

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ForceOfAHorse t1_j9kjvw8 wrote

Why would I want that? Am I some kind of spy whose job is to sabotage the company and turn people against each other?

It's just innocent small talk and you act like they sold out your mother to nazi collaborators. Jeez...

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Slimsaiyan t1_j9edhud wrote

His boss seems like an asshole so fuck him

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MET1 t1_j9gwsej wrote

He was a jerk.

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Slimsaiyan t1_j9h4al6 wrote

Honestly I wouldn't doubt sitting in a popular park and drawing for people would make okay money if you're good , its nice to have a physical thing for a memory

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MET1 t1_j9h6vwi wrote

It's incredibly hard to earn a living in the arts. The coworker was trying to stir up some trouble by suggesting I was on the verge of quitting.

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PeanutNo7337 t1_j9fu7g8 wrote

This isn’t something I would think of as a big secret. Should I be talking about you when you’re not there? No. However, what if I mentioned it in context, such as, “You like to paint? I heard so-and-so likes to paint, you should see if they want to discuss.” No harmful intent whatsoever. Doesn’t that change the situation slightly?

Your director’s comment is just weird. Why should they care what you do on your vacation time?

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MET1 t1_j9gxkjj wrote

Then there are some who would use anything as a way to get an advantage - for that coworker it would not have been impossible to have the conversation go something like this: "oh, well MET1 wants to quit and become a painter so can I get some training to take over that position". See how that works?

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Rickyspanish33 t1_j9daloq wrote

And just know the ones that ask you to keep their secrets are the first one to tell yours

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atxntfb t1_j9ejcq4 wrote

Like the one who would often say "Just between you and me...", it would be bewtween her and everyone.

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obsidiankaleidoscope t1_j9ge5f2 wrote

I learned that the hard way! I was loyal to her and she was slowly triangulating others against me.

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stiff_muffins t1_j9bmhdn wrote

So god damn true. Learned this pro tip the hard way.

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Kn14 t1_j9bu8rl wrote

Story time…?

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stiff_muffins t1_j9bvbos wrote

Working exclusively with co worker on tons of projects. We got to know each other well. During lunch I dropped my guard, we shared a few personal items.

Later found out we run in similar friends groups, I was unaware until my phone popped off with tons of texts from a certain person in this group. Was not a great convo…it became a game of telephone booth with multiple people sharing a worse and worse version of the comment (which was exclusively about me).

Lesson learned. I keep everyone at arms length. No questions.

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BouncyDingo_7112 t1_j9d4zi2 wrote

Did you confront the coworker?

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stiff_muffins t1_j9d5x31 wrote

Yes. It was a candid, uncomfortable and necessary. We still work very well together but I consider this a learning experience.

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infusedpineapple t1_j9dffr6 wrote

How did you confront them?

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stiff_muffins t1_j9dkdxv wrote

A gentle text saying we need to talk, then a phone call solving the issue with a caveat we need to insure this doesn’t disrupt our work environment.

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infusedpineapple t1_j9ds94o wrote

How did you make it so it wasn’t attacking kind or that you came across as bigger person?

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stiff_muffins t1_j9dt8wr wrote

Just brought up what happened. What I told them was getting back to me, but with incorrect additions. Told them what I heard was from our mutual friend who they told earlier that day.

Asked if we could keep the conversation information private, get a clean slate and move past this and continue our fantastic work relationship.

Nothing accusatory, just facts. Receipts ready if needed. Thankfully we were on the same page.

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GiantMeatRobot t1_j9cusk8 wrote

"I really need to buy new slacks; these ones are too restrictive for my magnum dong."

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Triasmus t1_j9dbtqc wrote

Yep. I told my coworker I'm getting divorced...

Next thing I know, I've told everyone else, too!

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dameanne15 t1_j9e0z0m wrote

Stop telling people your business. Some people talk to you so they can talk about you. - Nipsey Hussle

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_SCHULTZY_ t1_j9e31ig wrote

I use my coworkers as carrier pigeons to take my suggestions and comments to management because I know they can't keep a secret. It's kind of fun to say a thing here and watch it come out of someone else's mouth over there.

I use to have a coworker who always thought she was slick hiding behind the corner listening to conversations and then running right to the supervisor and telling them what she heard. She never figured out that she heard exactly what I wanted her and the supervisor to hear. We played this game for years.

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Salt_and_Peppery t1_j9dmd5l wrote

People WILL repeat it especially if it is strategically advantageous FOR THEM.

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yutfree t1_j9dtbwm wrote

Picture all of your coworkers as microphones. Tell them nothing that can be used against you because there's always someone who will pass along and embellish things you say.

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SethikTollin7 t1_j9c7tv3 wrote

Feel free to troll.

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GForceHangover t1_j9d6a3l wrote

This is the real lesson; if you want everyone at work to hear something, make it juicy and tell it to a gossip. Everyone will know within the week. Use it to your advantage.

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cheapcardsandpacks t1_j9d6hv4 wrote

Can you give an example

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Septopuss7 t1_j9frfow wrote

I let slip that I put 75% of every paycheck into savings so that I can quit my job whenever I see fit. (Zero debt, no kids, no bills except the basics). When I first started I also told them that the reason I left my last job was because they treated me like garbage, and I decided to never work a shitty job again, and I'd quit at the drop of a hat if they started jerking me around...

This job still jerks me around, but they look REAL nervous when they do it. I'm not lying, I really do have several thousands of dollars, probably 5 months of living expenses, saved up, and I will quit so fast it'll make their butt cheeks clap.

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Toothfairy51 t1_j9horvh wrote

I worked with a woman named Kirby. We used to say, tell-a-phone, tell-a-gram, tell-a-kirby. Lol

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DrabDonut t1_j9dorlw wrote

I tell coworkers different gossip to see who I can trust.

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UsualAnybody1807 t1_j9dy9gd wrote

Absolutely! This is so important, and same with HR - only tell them things if you absolutely have to, they are there to protect the corporation, not help you.

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The_Buttsex_Man t1_j9buyyr wrote

I wish I'd known that before I'd told old Mrs. Horngus about my crapping problem. Now the whole office calls me "Jimmy Sharter."

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jimmybwana t1_j9cfvda wrote

Name and comment check out if you’re the butt fun receiver I guess.

1

Prose4256 t1_j9dnfkp wrote

100% accurate, it's best to keep things professional at work, you can't trust anyone.

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turtleheadmaker t1_j9drhpw wrote

In reverse, if you want something known then tell them "in confidence" and it will be spread.

"Don't share but I just turned down a big opportunity because I love this team."

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ElizaPlume212 t1_j9e1ilt wrote

But...if you want the boss to know something but don't want to be associated with it (or risk being the messenger that got killed), tell the boss's tush-kisser. I was told early on by friends in the departmen5t to be very careful what I said to Laurie or within her hearing.

"But... if you want Sue [2nd in command] to know something, tell it to Laurie. It will get to Dick [department head] before 5."

Laurie would relay it to Sue, who loved gossip of any kind, as a dung beetle loves dung. We knew by the next morning Big Dick (as he called himself) would have a plan in place that made him look like gold.. These were the 80s. No email, no cell phones, not even beepers. Just Laurie.

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heartandmarrow t1_j9e9nuw wrote

Also try complimenting people behind their back. They’ll know.

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DaddyOhMy t1_j9ect9h wrote

I made a blanket rule not to friend anyone I work with on Facebook even people are good friends who I hang out with outside of the office. While I trust them, I don't want to risk the trickle down of someone at work I don't like seeing something stupid I post.

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brazosandbosque t1_j9erxju wrote

Just getting burned because of this. This person was nice to me and I opened up a little to them. Well, I went to vague book to vague and even though I thought I could trust this person they still tried to take it to management. I didn’t peg that coworker to be a snitch like that, but that’s what I get for thinking it was safe to vent about a coworker we BOTH are tried of babysitting. I didn’t call anyone any rude names just talked about me feelings of frustration. My work is pretty messy so when coworker one was snitching on me, coworker 2 came running to me snitching on coworker one…

Edit: I just wanna also say I didn’t dox any of my coworker’s info or say where I worked in the post.

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Searchingforgoodnews t1_j9cz4mr wrote

It depends on the coworker, I has coworkers that I would trust with my deepest secrets.

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GuitarFingerer t1_j9ds9pf wrote

It's a dog eat dog world in a lot of places. People can be savages

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SHDighan t1_j9d0whn wrote

This is just a basic life tip, not a pro tip.

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cheapcardsandpacks t1_j9d7e94 wrote

How are coworkers suppose to know they're not suppose to share what you told them

0

np3est8x t1_j9du4rc wrote

Anything you say will be used against you.

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watuphoss t1_j9f5ans wrote

I'm not saying this is in all industries, but if you are a dude in a mainly lady work environment, there are potentially many group chats that will occasionally mention you. If one day you notice nearly everyone being avoidant, that might have something to do with it.

Just show up, keep your head down, and do the job.

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Basic-Ideal OP t1_j9f5pry wrote

Mannn I feel this! I am the only dude outta 20 person department! To add to this comment , you will also hear way to much info about their husbands and also alot about they way woman and men’s views are different in a lot of ways then we realize!

0

watuphoss t1_j9f6sw5 wrote

Been in mainly lady dominated fields all of my life. The amount of times I was sexually harassed with a gaggle of laughs from the crowd is annoying. But that is besides the point. I am glad I got a glimpse of it though, because now I know what to expect and hope for out of a relationship.

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hwpfl wrote

yes.. reverse sexism is real lol.. don't believe the hype but also don't fall for the easy traps laid to snare the mouse ;-)

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watuphoss t1_j9khipz wrote

Haha, I've been using, "don't shit where you eat," for ages. I like the mouse one.

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weissmanhyperion t1_j9cyui2 wrote

I shoved a whole bag of jellybeans up mah ass

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avalondreamer t1_j9dn5cr wrote

Same with friends and family members. Trust no one.

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Fav0 t1_j9er233 wrote

Idk if I am too European for this corperate American "don't trust anyone" but in all the years that I am working now (like 18) I have not once worked at a store where people were not legit friends, liked each other and hung out with another

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space_is_noisy t1_j9f8wx9 wrote

Same. I quite like my coworkers. I've only had one boss who you had to be careful about what you told her, but that was one person. And that was many years ago. But maybe I'm just lucky.

1

lawlianne t1_j9egkao wrote

Can confirm. I was telling a particular office colleague about how I learnt various music instruments during my childhood. That same week, my Director asked if I could be arrowed/relied on to volunteer to perform for a music event. Like wtf.

That’s the last fucking time I’m telling that colleague anything like that.

3

joyamazingpinoy t1_j9el30b wrote

Yes, this is good, and I practice this. I tend to be more honest and open about everything and I would want people to know more, not less. Other people are usually the ones who tell me that I shouldn't tell certain things to other people.

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punkwalrus t1_j9ensu8 wrote

It's a good way to disseminate information that can't be made official, though. Gossip will spread faster than memos. Sadly, it's prone to alterations depending on the tellers narrative. Plus, people make up stuff all the time. There's a general "group think" that's hard to manage, and secrets just get broken by some deductive reasoning PLUS the unreliable narrative. So you could be close lipped and just get shit found out because now you're a puzzle they want to solve and then spin for their own agendas.

One of my friends is a woman who is socially awkward. She is kind, and wants to do a good job. But frequently gets fucked over by catty office workers. Often by pretending to be her friend and then just using her (to get secrets, for example) until she's all spent up, and then she becomes the scapegoat until she quits. It's weird because I have worked with her and I know she's amazingly talented with a modicum of support, but women just fuck her over again and again, because being a mildly autistic woman just irritates the fuck out of neurotypical women.

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tanman729 t1_j9et6cr wrote

"Can i tell you a secret bob? Sometimes its really difficult living with a 12inch cock"

2

jma7400 t1_j9ewspq wrote

Don’t form relationships with other co workers because they are all out to get you and screw you over.

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Dixiereaper75 t1_j9ewurf wrote

I learned very quickly to not tell mine anything, buncha loud mouth horse thieves.

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gritzbo t1_j9ewzu9 wrote

Always watch what you say at work and also beware of other employees who potentially may not like you and be causing issues for you behind the scenes. Happened to me at end of my career. I was way too naive. Don't let it happen to you. Best not to have work friends or if you do be very selective.

2

MurderDoneRight t1_j9ex84f wrote

Yeah, I casually mentioned I was thinking about moving to a coworker and it somehow got to my boss who thought it was great because they were planning to "reorganize" a couple month later so I pretty much set myself up to be fired...

2

inpantspro t1_j9eyn4y wrote

Never tell my mother anything you don't want her brother and sisters to know. She might not share your medical history, but she probably will.

(I don't care that she does. If you do care about people knowing your diagnosis, don't tell her)

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hwy3n wrote

yes.. that is a good observation.. i only tell my mother things i want my siblings to know. she's not a bad person just not great at keeping secrets

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kerrwashere t1_j9eziqg wrote

They are not your friends lol. Beat this into your head unless you want to learn the hard way

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series_hybrid t1_j9f1o0a wrote

Actually, the right thing to do is to tell a coworker a carefully-crafted lie, and then make them promise to never tell anyone.

Once it gets out and around the office, you will know for certain that they can't be trusted, and you can tell them that when they ask for personal information in the future.

2

gotpointsgoing t1_j9f8lxz wrote

When will people learn that you don't make friends at work. That's only a place where you make money. It isn't a place to make friends. Too many people have thought they had friends at work, only to find out, their so called friends, are the ones taking behind their back.

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hwfez wrote

indeed. business is business. think of it as crew... it works for me

1

Francespantses t1_j9f9bio wrote

I’ll have to remember that at my next job lol. Currently I am fucked if someone decides they don’t like me anymore

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hw8rx wrote

blimey.. come back swinging.. always.. metaphorically of course it works. don't get involved in gossip, as said above, let your results tell the story and only tell the best stories.. another one of mine is when i made a croche pillow for my mum when was 8-) then another day i'll tell the counter story that she left me when i was 4. so people understand i can do good things even if i've been mistreated.. some people laugh but i know it's because they're weak and strong people get it. good luck

1

Francespantses t1_j9hx9lb wrote

Hmm I got lost partway through your comment but it felt positive haha thank you!

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theflapogon16 t1_j9j2upb wrote

You can have friends at work but the moment that bus come around to run someone over and it’s either you or them they will pick you most of the time.

I became friends with this dude at my work named Jakson, we hung out, played games together, even been to each others homes for a cookout or two! Then one day I get called into the office and was told I need to stop harassing him…… this shit came out of nowhere and I didn’t understand, I told my bosses I’ve never even contacted him outside of work except through the Xbox, everything else we’ve done has been planned here at work or via text where he texted me first. I had to go through and show them my text and everything just to keep my job. About 2 months go by and he comes over to my area asking why I’ve been avoiding him and I said “ you filed a HR complaint against for harassment, so I’m making sure I don’t bother you anymore “ and he told me he filed that just to have a excuse to avoid a write up….. assuming I’d understand.

No. You nearly cost me my job because you wanted to avoid a written warning , fuck that shit I’m out!

Now I don’t do anything with any coworkers unless I got a paper trail, I just got really lucky with him. Fool me once…. You won’t get a chance to do it again I promise

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keepthetips t1_j9bmbpv wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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g3bb t1_j9ehk1d wrote

This can also be used to your advantage/desire

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yourlocalpizzagay t1_j9ej4f9 wrote

Jokes on them i cant shut the hell up and tell everyone everything anyways

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kelsobjammin t1_j9ennav wrote

No one is a friend you met at a work place. Ever!

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[deleted] t1_j9enp7k wrote

Found this to be true as well.

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PennyKBurke t1_j9eqhh2 wrote

A secret is only Secret if NO ONE else knows!

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Erander t1_j9etudp wrote

3 can keep a secret if 2 are dead

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VerbotenVerb t1_j9evjjd wrote

I slept with a coworker my first week on the job. I told the guy I worked alongside. The next day, every employee knew. In my defense, I didn't know she was married.

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vandilx t1_j9fc36u wrote

This right here.

Workplaces always talk about being families. And it's an easy con to fall into since you spend so much of your waking hours at work.

The truth is, most people work at at-will jobs. At your company's will, they will terminate you without two weeks notice.

When given an option to choose you or themselves, your coworkers will always choose themselves to win even if that requires throwing you under the bus.

Never tell anyone your next move. Move in silence. Let people be amazed with your results and achievements.

Also, for the love of god, do not friend coworkers on social media. Whatever they see you post (and previously post) will be used against you, if it gains an advantage for them.

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thebipeds t1_j9fdpof wrote

Never trust anyone…

Oops, I’ve said to much.

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cooliovonhoolio t1_j9fvl5u wrote

Can confirm. I work with only one other guy. Told him something about my coworker and it seems like he found out instantly.

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Call_Me_Dack t1_j9g17ep wrote

To be honest . Most people at work call me a a-hole , damn right I ain’t here to talk to you I am here’s to make my money :D

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hvg75 wrote

fair play.. although can you come right back and call them a hole too? works for me ;-)

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SharkBait209 t1_j9h9zqo wrote

Yeah, work gossip is real. Another tip that goes along with this. Don't remember word for word but something like,

If someone at work is talking shit about others behind their back , assume they are talking shit about you too.

I learned about OPs tip about half a year ago, though it helped me in a positive way.

I was about to quit because I wanted(deserved) a raise because I wasn't making what I should've been.

I told two people exactly.. and then within that week, almost every other coworker confronted me about it, saying I hear you're quitting, and why and everything.

Then within about two weeks my boss comes to me saying the same, I hear you're quitting and then ask me why I was.

Talking went on and basically I got a pretty good raise out of it and decided to stay. I had previously inquired about making more money to him with no luck.

The fact that it took me almost quitting to get my raise is nonsense. Companies really don't wanna pay you shit, and give you the least they can.

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Randodude5412 t1_j9hdumn wrote

Absolutely true! Who's to say you won't have a future conflict with that 'friend', and they then use your secrets as ammunition to hurt you by spreading them to listening ears. The old saying 'Two people can keep a secret, as long as one of them is dead" is a truism, and for good reason.

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Street_Bed_5992 t1_j9hv7m1 wrote

i tell co workers i trust the good but 'real' stories about me.. usually with a comic or positive spin.. you know like when i got smashed at Ministry of Sound when it first opened in 1991.. i know everyone gossips so tell them the stories that make 'legends'.. sounds manipulative i know but my opinion is getting on at work is about positive engineering.. that's always better than negative engineering

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via_vendetta t1_j9kqssr wrote

Rule applies to anyone really

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