Where are the queer bars/places?

Submitted by ravenclaw188 t3_10nrnq9 in boston

I’ve been in Boston for a few months and I haven’t found any queer spots. I swear there are more gay bars in the center of nowhere than in Boston. Is Boston just super straight?

Update: THANK YOU ALL

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ftmthrow t1_j6agbt3 wrote

Club Cafe, Cathedral Station, Legacy, Alley Bar, Trophy Room, Midway, Diesel Cafe. 5/7 of those mostly cater to gay men, the queer women’s scene isn’t great. Boston isn’t “super straight,” we just don’t have a huge nightlife scene, gay or otherwise.

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ravenclaw188 OP t1_j6anwon wrote

Aw yeah I’m a queer woman

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ftmthrow t1_j6arz7s wrote

I see from your post history that you’re in your early 20’s — try Queeraoke at Midway, it’s definitely mostly younger queer women.

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ravenclaw188 OP t1_j6bwefi wrote

Awesome, thanks

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AsHighAsTonyTheTiger t1_j6dzeha wrote

Drag shows at Laugh Boston are curated to all LGBTQ and straight crowds. Might be worth a Sunday brunch there, I had a great time going to a show!

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brufleth t1_j6ezjvg wrote

Drag/burlesque shows at Crystal Ballroom are another nice option.

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Selfeducation t1_j6bb8l5 wrote

What you are looking for is this event called sapphic night that happens in allston, google it

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elevenTsix t1_j6ewv6e wrote

Sapphic night happened at House of Blues in Fenway last night!

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catknitski t1_j6bczhm wrote

Cathedral station is closing.

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ftmthrow t1_j6bqrio wrote

True, but I don’t think we have a date yet? Still alive and well for now, was there last night and it was packed for RPDR.

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slowbar1 t1_j6akzf9 wrote

It’s not that Boston is super straight it’s that our social scene sucks overall.

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wallet535 t1_j6asalf wrote

Maybe the new nightlife czar from the Wu administration will help?

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Digitaltwinn t1_j6e4n9s wrote

Can we put an name on this czar? Have they even been hired yet?

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GarlVinlandSaga t1_j6ehfky wrote

I think it's Brian Piccini, who owns Dbar, Boston Chops and Deuxave.

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Roszo21 t1_j6et00u wrote

Ah yes, because the issue with Boston's nightlife is that it's not white, corporate, and expensive enough. What an uninspired choice.

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GarlVinlandSaga t1_j6ewo71 wrote

I actually just looked, and it's not confirmed! The article linked below my comment just used a picture of Piccini, so I perhaps mistakenly just assumed it was him.

Another problem with Boston night life is that the T barely runs past midnight.

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abhikavi t1_j6aw69r wrote

>I swear there are more gay bars in the center of nowhere than in Boston.

Yeah, this has been my experience.

I think part of it is that in Boston, you're generally safe walking down the street holding hands with your girlfriend. There's less closeting in general, and I think that builds less of a need to have "that one space" where you can be yourself, because it's nbd to be yourself in front of your neighbors/coworkers/etc.

The downside, obviously, is how the hell do you find that girlfriend to hold hands with if there's no gathering space where all the queer women are meeting? (Online dating. Ugh. I'm sorry.)

I also think Boston's lack of a night scene in general is a big factor. (Although I've lived in smaller areas with things like lesbian coffee shops, lack of nightlife hardly explains lack of a queer coffee shop... maybe that was just special though?)

It's not a non-existant scene. There are queer bars and clubs, and they usually offer ladies' nights, and I've been. It's just.... well like you said, I've lived in way smaller shittier areas with less stuff at all that still managed to have more of a queer scene than Boston, and that just feels ridiculous. But try the ladies' nights out? Maybe one of them will be your jam.

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Maxpowr9 t1_j6csqgj wrote

The lack of a real gayborhood in Boston is gonna kill the scene. South End is about as close as it gets and even, it's meh. Most other big cities have a few blocks where you can hit all the LGBT+ establishments, making them easier to patronize. That isn't the case in Boston.

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youknowitwont t1_j6c5yot wrote

Maybe it's because of my experiences with homophobia in school while younger, but I still feel supremely awkward even walking down the street with my partner. Let alone holding hands or kissing. Idk why but it still feels like there are people out there who would have a problem with it, even in Boston.

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roxykell t1_j6ah3ii wrote

The queer scene sucks. There are orgs trying to create events and opportunities for queer people to gather though so the hope is that it’s on the up and up!

Instagrams to follow events:

  • @sapphicnightss if you are femme/Nb
  • @lgbtqnightlifeevents
  • @gaymafiaboston does queer events at legacy (serve Thursdays has drag queens)

Other places

  • Dbar in Dorchester
  • Dorchester brewing co
  • midway cafe in JP
  • alley bar
  • Jacques (drag shows @8pm and 10pm)

There’s plenty of queer people but Boston is not as supportive as it likes to think it is. Sorry you got downvoted for asking

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DoodMonkey t1_j6aw5fv wrote

The Manray when it re-opens, which is soon. https://www.boston.com/culture/entertainment/2023/01/13/manray-cambridge-night-club-central-square/

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TakenOverByBots t1_j6d7l9a wrote

Yes, Thursday nights are called Campus and it is specifically for the LGBTQ community. You would be amongst friends the other nights too.

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Digitaltwinn t1_j6e46us wrote

I went to Heroes last night and it was great! Not an explicitly queer night like Campus but the crowd was about half LGBTQ from what I could tell.

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theungod t1_j6exxep wrote

It opened last week. If you can handle scene drama it'll probably be fine.

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DoodMonkey t1_j6iide1 wrote

There's always drama in the Boston club scene, gotta roll with the punches.

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flowerflourpowah t1_j6ah6qx wrote

I’m here to add Blend and dbar to the list. They’re a few blocks distance from each other. Blend has an amazing vibe and crowd on Saturday nights

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GarlVinlandSaga t1_j6ehogk wrote

Also it's not an explicitly gay restaurant/bar, but Harp + Bard is in the same neighborhood and is very gay.

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clairegardner23 t1_j6b6s2d wrote

Outside of Boston but Trina’s Starlight Lounge in Somerville!

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yepmek t1_j6b6ybq wrote

Ritzy East in Watertown- trans and queer woman owned and great vibes

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daveroyals t1_j6bhefc wrote

Any other trans bars or clubs you know of?

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[deleted] t1_j6butsg wrote

[removed]

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youknowitwont t1_j6c60ye wrote

Are you implying that being trans is a fad?

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DanieXJ t1_j6d52x2 wrote

Nope, I'm saying that trans/non-binary is where the money is these days. The only place, especially in MA.

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bloatedleech t1_j6au9kp wrote

Look up Goblin Hole and BLOWW for 2 regular queer themed live performance events. Sapphic Saturdays at Vera's in union Square. Also regular Boudoir nights at union Square tavern.

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morrowgirl t1_j6i30o1 wrote

The drag/burlesque/etc scene in Boston is SO fun and creative. Earlier this month I went to Drag me to Candyland at the Crystal Ballroom, which was a candyland themed drag show. It did not disappoint and was very affordable.

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michael_scarn_21 t1_j6ahmgc wrote

Boston has a shit queer scene for the size of the city. Fact.

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SparkDBowles t1_j6akwin wrote

Boston has a shite everything scene for the size of the city. It’s become a very stay home and next city.

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dirtyoldmikegza t1_j6amr4m wrote

They made Boston lame as fuck about 20 years ago on purpose. It's got plenty of gays.. it's not that it's that everything is lame now..

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ravenclaw188 OP t1_j6ao1v8 wrote

Yeah I haven’t had much fun in Boston so far :/ I’m 23 and was hoping there would be more of a young party scene

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dirtyoldmikegza t1_j6ap0gw wrote

Sorry...if it was 1997 you'd have plenty of places to go, gay or not. Place used to be pretty live but it's pretty crap now. They shut down a lot of places, drove out anything that wasn't yuppy bullshit. If I ruled the world I'd do something to change it because you'd think with the amount of colleges you could sustain it.

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mtmsm t1_j6d079k wrote

I just learned that ManRay nightclub in Central Square just reopened in a new location after closing in 2005. It’s more goth than queer specifically, but they say they’ll have LGBTQ-friendly themed nights. I’m glad it’s back - the articles about its closing lamented Central losing its “funk.”

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fakecrimesleep t1_j6d74fc wrote

Welcome to post pandemic Boston where the places that are still open are hanging by a thread. If you want parties you need to make some friends that throw them in warehouses

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mari815 t1_j6bfpp5 wrote

This is super true.

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dirtyoldmikegza t1_j6bqcnu wrote

I wish I was fibbing, but the Boston I grew up in was awesome..with some warts..but pretty fun none the less.

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BettyWhitesBigTits t1_j6bkjfl wrote

Ive been a bartender in LGBTQ establishments for 30+ years in Boston and other places. I will catch shit for this but it needs to be said. The reason for the complete lack of Lesbian spaces is because Lesbians ruin them.

Lesbians in general do not drink like men. They may order one drink and sip on it for the evening. They are also shitty tippers. They might tip a quarter on a drink if you're lucky. How is a bar or bar staff supposed to stay alive under those terms?

Lesbians also fight way more than gay men so there is the hassle of dealing with the police, the licensing board and insurance. Ever wonder why club cafe uses plastic cups........?

Back in the day there used to be more pickup trucks in Randolph Country Club than a Ford dealership. At the end of the night the "ladies" would be beating the crap out of each other before making up and moving in with each other the next day.

I haven't worked in a place that caters to women in many many years. Its not just a Boston thing. Its a nationwide thing.

The 21 Lesbian bars left in the USA

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tacknosaddle t1_j6bvuvn wrote

>They are also shitty tippers.

It was a lesbian friend in the service industry who first told me the line, "The difference between a lesbian and a canoe is that sometimes a canoe tips."

She hated going out to eat or for drinks with a group of lesbian women because she was either mortified at how badly they tipped or felt obligated to go to the bathroom and surreptitiously slip a cash tip to the server to bring the total to an appropriate amount (which could kick her share up considerably).

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Born_Ad_4826 t1_j6fr6op wrote

Intersectional oppression = low pay = bad tips.

It’s not poor morals/manners…librarians and art teachers, while lovely human beings, are also terrible tippers (source: worked as a waitress at a restaurant that served mostly conventions. The librarian/art teacher conventions were much nicer than the dentists/cardiac surgeons, but they tipped like crap.

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BettyWhitesBigTits t1_j6k454j wrote

> Intersectional oppression

Yes, because every lesbian is low paid and oppressed.

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tacknosaddle t1_j6gavvb wrote

I waited tables long enough to also have people who were very nice and just gushed to me about how great the service was leave a 10% tip or less. Fortunately they would generally be one table out of an entire shift so it didn't really sting too bad overall. I'd imagine that it would be a lot worse dealing with a convention crowd where it happens across most tables.

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More-Professional587 t1_j6an2jz wrote

Temptation Tuesdays at Hans in Allston!! It’s a huge miss, they have gay nights on Tuesdays. The lighting is way better then any of the other clubs, and smaller space, for actual conversation. I’m livid. No cover before 11pm. I mean what else you want sis??

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LIATG t1_j6azdk7 wrote

the queer nightlife here has become largely event based. Sapphic Saturdays is tonight, but sold out as far as I can tell. LGBTQ Nightlife Events organizes a lot of events (particularly sapphic ones) in the area and is currently working on building a new queer bar. additionally, Queeraoke is a beloved local fixture and Club Cafe tends to have a few nights for the ladies here and there

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Leather_Positive6646 t1_j6bevl6 wrote

@enterthebudoir on instagram

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princesskittyglitter t1_j6cxhgy wrote

Can't believe I had to scroll this far down for this, this is the best queer thing in the city and it's annoying how many people are like there's no queer scene here. Like no you aren't looking hard enough!!!

Even if boudoir isn't doing a party a lot of that crew does explicitly queer events ALL THE TIME

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wallet535 t1_j6bpisv wrote

Gay sports are huge in Boston, everything from billiards to kickball to bowling. Just another thing to maybe check out.

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whatsabrooin t1_j6c13or wrote

Yeah my friend met most of her lesbian friends through a flag football league. I think I've seen some local DND/tabletop RPG groups as well for the less sports-inclined.

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youknowitwont t1_j6c69vy wrote

Don't forget rugby (source: gay friend is on a local gay rugby team)

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Stirling-Newberry t1_j6agrfg wrote

Your joking right?

Club Cafe

Jacque's Cabaret

Midway Cafe

The Alley Bar

among others...

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ravenclaw188 OP t1_j6ao4ui wrote

I’ve heard club cafe a few times here, I’ll check it out!

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Staple_Sauce t1_j6bwlt2 wrote

Before the pandemic I worked for an organization that did queer nightlife events in Boston. I haven't been going out as much since I shacked up (and covid) but your best bets are going to be sapphicnights or lesbiannightlife events. Queeraoke at Midway in JP has always been popular with queer women but it's on Thursday nights. Someone else mentioned DeLux which I haven't actually been to but now I'm curious about that one.

Club Cafe caters strongly to cis gay men so if you're looking for other women, that'll be tricky. Still fun to go dance though, and I feel like with so many other spaces closing it might be a more mixed crowd than it used to be.

Outside of nightlife, you'll see the most queer women in JP, and also Davis Square and Union Square.

It's a rite of passage to go to "baby dyke weekend" in P-Town, which is Memorial Day weekend. Definitely find some friends and check that out. If you're looking for a hookup, you'll find it haha. If you don't go to that, Zolita and Fletcher are both performing at Boston Calling this year so that'll draw a sapphic crowd too. There's also Women's Week (also P-Town) in October. Farther out, Providence RI, Ogunquit ME, and Portland ME are also popular weekend trips for queer women in the area.

Personally, I love Salem (MA). Not really for nightlife, but queer energy is definitely dominant there. I feel like a ton of the queer women and trans people in Boston end up leaving for Salem once they hit 30.

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IAmRyan2049 t1_j6ag0hc wrote

There were more a few years ago but they’re not extinct. Search the Reddit and a couple will pop up.

I’m ancient so I don’t know the hot spots, but they’re out there for what it’s worth. Unfortunately there’s not a district

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IAmRyan2049 t1_j6agtrl wrote

As far as boston being “super straight” I don’t think it is. It just got over itself way ahead of other cities and normalized. That’s why it turned into “everyone is welcomed here” before queer spaces were the thing I like it but I also understand why one wouldn’t

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littlest_lemon t1_j6d0k4m wrote

Come to Xmortis nights at the Middle East! :) Lotsa queer goths

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tjaderb t1_j6effgd wrote

Somerville, Cambridge, and JP have much more queer spaces imo than Boston Proper. No exclusively queer spaces but a much higher concentration of queer people. My suggestions would be Bow Market in Union Square in Somerville, specifically Rebel Rebel wine bar. (It’s queer woman owned) they also have a sister restaurant Dear Annie between Harvard and Porter. Davis square also has a few bars/spaces that have queer events (Goblin Hole etc). There are also queer based comedy shows around the city.

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fakecrimesleep t1_j6d6wqb wrote

This post screams out as some one who has never heard of Jamaica plain.

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borisan t1_j6db7np wrote

Try out Ritcey East in Watertown! They have a monthly Tuesgay that's always a lot of fun! Amazing food and drinks too.

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maris262 t1_j6eyhpx wrote

There’s a new queer bar catering to queer women and non-binary folks called Dani’s queer bar which is going to open soon!! Sapphic nights on Instagram puts on fun events almost weekly too. Check them out!

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claimsnthings t1_j6cx9sd wrote

The internet killed off most lgbt clubs and bars.

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princesskittyglitter t1_j6cxr4j wrote

Boudoir has the best queer parties in the city, first Friday of every month at union tavern

@entertheboudoir

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CatCranky t1_j6dh0eq wrote

I was going to suggest club cafe but I see you are a woman. i have a male gay friend who likes it. But check out the new Manray

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Digitaltwinn t1_j6e3ywp wrote

I just went to Heroes at the newly opened ManRay in Cambridge and it was very queer. Definitely a growing lesbian scene there.

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elevenTsix t1_j6exfi1 wrote

Sapphic Nights are raising money for a new queer bar (just announced last night it’ll be somewhere on Boylston, I think? Don’t quote me) so that’ll be a nice new addition… I believe it’s opening in the next couple of months

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IAmRyan2049 t1_j6jajfb wrote

My random thoughts are that we don’t need a “safe space” so every bar is a gay bar. I don’t fully believe that but that’s what I’m being sold. That said, the other posters have provided gay bars. When I was young I found that Lynn had a few good ones where you could have casual sex without any effort.

This is of course dude-related, not sure about lesbian or trans related stuff. It was very segregated back in the day

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nestbt01 t1_j6edexx wrote

Boston is not lgbtq friendly. We must all leave.

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princesskittyglitter t1_j6cxvqw wrote

Ohhhh and @gaybashdboston on IG does queer focused concerts quarterly I think and their crowd skews very femme

I'm telling you the people here aren't trying hard enough

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vpe331 t1_j6e0xzs wrote

Do you live in a hole? They are everywhere.

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pillbinge t1_j6bb8vt wrote

You don’t need safe spaces if most places are safe.

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ravenclaw188 OP t1_j6bwa4s wrote

What? I’m just trying to get laid bro

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pillbinge t1_j6bxjl5 wrote

Nothing to do with what I said, or the situation you're talking about.

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BlocksAreGreat t1_j6bh82o wrote

There is something to be said for having queer community.

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pillbinge t1_j6bxi6q wrote

A community isn't defined or limited to a place you frequent to consume stuff. That's what hobbyists have. They're trying to meet other gay people, not play Warhammer 40k.

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Plenty_Strain_4199 t1_j6cywfr wrote

Also who are you to define what places are safe for other people??

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pillbinge t1_j6e7l4v wrote

I'm anyone else, who knows what safe is and isn't. This isn't a work of art where two people can walk away with five understandings lmao.

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Plenty_Strain_4199 t1_j6e85t8 wrote

well I disagree - what appears safe to a cis het man might not feel safe to a queer woman, what’s safe for a gay man may not feel safe for a NB person. Safety is a feeling not just a fact

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pillbinge t1_j6ej8g9 wrote

There's nothing to disagree with. Getting punched in the face isn't safe. Not getting punched in the face is safer. My neighborhood is safe, but if you asked me if I'd go down a particular alley at 2AM, I'd say I wouldn't. Safe isn't defined as being able to walk around an area naked without any threat of even staring.

One can feel unsafe but be completely safe. You see that in the modern day where people feel things are worse when they aren't.

One can feel unsafe and be safe, just as one can feel safe and be in total danger. That's just a cliché that can't be tackled. We're talking in the aggregate here, since we're on Reddit, and talking in general.

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