You can look at different jobs and openings currently it won't hurt anything. But as it seems you know the grass isn't always greener on the other side. There you may take an increase in pay but what else will you get with a different company that y don't know about yet? I considered taking a different job with a 40% raise. But after interviews and talking with different people there I decided it's not worth going to a more restrictive company. As you said your boss is very flexible. I think you'll have a hard time finding that again.

You’re making a quarter million a year or so it sounds like so I don’t see what the problem is other than possibly a lack of budgeting

While it may be worth a look, you really can't put a price tag on that kind of flexibility, especially when your kids are young. It sounds like at least one of them has special needs as well, making the flexibility even more necessary and valuable. I would probably wait until they are in full-day school to consider a job that doesn't promise the same schedule. Remind your husband that he CAN do the higher paying, less flexible job because you are there to handle the kids' needs.

I would hold onto your job for dear life right now. You guys should budget. The flexibility is great. I’m sure you could make more money elsewhere for a lot more hours and a lot less flexibility. Can your husband take kids to appointments? This seems like a scenario where it makes sense for you to partner and he makes the greater money so you can do the higher amount of childcare duties. Once kids are older in around five years have the conversation again. Or ask for a raise at some point?

Very true! I am considering looking once they are all in school. I love the flexibility.

Regardless of what a family grosses, it's important to a lot of people to be paid what they're worth.

Always worth doing a budget audit, especially for the new year, but 3 kids, med-high COL adds up.

This is what I think too. And making even $20k more isn’t worth loosing that flexibility to me, at least at this stage of my life.

It never hurts to look. You have a job you seem to be happy with, you can be picky. Interviews can help you find out of the companies you work for are as flexible as you need.

In 2021 we made $180 gross. We are not even close to $250k this year. The market adjustment occurred in Oct, so it’s only been 2.5 months of that.

Likely we will be around $210 gross for 2022.

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This seems like a dream situation. You can always make more money, but that always come at a price and even then you may feel like oh i wish we could save more. I would absolutely just stay at your current job in your situation. That is just my two cents.

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worth looking for a higher paying job? i think that question is totally up to you. with your current finances and maxing out the 401k annually, you're doing fine. but if you have the motivation to look for a better job, there's nothing wrong with that!

Do you have supplemental time for another job or gig to help make a little extra to help reach your goals?

We do budget, meticulously. I don’t follow your point that my spouse should take the kids to appointments and I should do more childcare duties? The kids are in full time daycare and before/aftercare. That is about $3,100/mo.

Per the 1.85 times comment I put you husband at $160,000 and you at $87,000 for a household income of $247,000

Is that correct?

I do not have kids but I think the flexibility is worthy staying another 2-4 years. They are only small once and you guys are already essentially at $250k.

No, he makes 1.85 what I make not including overtime or profit sharing.

He makes $140k as of mid October 2022. Prior to that he made $125.

2023 is what matters and you’ll be making very close to 250k. That’s 40k extra to spend towards your upgrades and 529s

You can put a price tag on it actually, and they are by being under compensated compared to market rate. The decision is whether that’s worth it or not. To me, it is.

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Got it. Still as a household the income is over $200k so I would think financially there is minimal stress over providing in terms of quality of life.

I’m in the capital of CA and median household income here is only $85k so even by expensive CA standards your household is fine at over $200k.

2 years until the 3 years old are 5 will pass by so fast I’d thinking hanging onto the flexibility especially with a special needs child with an IEP would be worth it.

My household without kids it at 140k and we net $7k so I would think with $200k and 3 dependents your net would be like $11k and per Zillow I saw rents are about $3K so I presume your mortgage is under that.

Only you can truly decide if more money now is worth giving up the flexibility. I personally would not money isn’t everything.

Presumably childcare is a lot right now ( my guess is $3k based on there being 3) but in 2 years it should go down right?

I wish! I used to freelance when we had just 1 kid, that is how I paid off my student loans and we saved to purchase a home. But right now with 3 young kids and a full time job I don’t have extra bandwidth to take something else on.

Ya you already have a perfect setup where you are and the flexibility to adjust your schedule accordingly. Why mess that up?? When you start a new job the employer is going to keep an on on how your budget your time and how many times you leave work. When the kids grow up and become adults they aren’t going look back and say gee I wish we had an extra bathroom or a nicer kitchen or a newer mini can. They are going to say mom was always there to greet us when we got home from school . Mom always took us to our game and always cheered us on. This are memories that will last a lift time for your kids. Maybe in 5 or 10 years when your kids are older go out and consider that . To me you have a perfect life

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If you do end up finding another job, can you put in a good word for me with your current employer? That flexibility sounds amazing

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This is really more of a lifestyle question. Do you work to live or live to work? Keep your eyes open for new opportunities just be very selective knowing what is important to you. Could you offset your work schedules to reduce or eliminate childcare costs? Shop daycare vs nanny vs Au Pair.

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We have a small 1,789 sf home with 1.5 bathrooms and 3 bedrooms. 2 bedrooms are very small. We do not have enough room for an au pair, we did look into it.

My daughter is in Kindergarten and my twin boys are in preschool. A nanny is $20-25 per hour here.

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i get paid 19 an hour and would kill for 35, but dont mind me, im just complaining on your thread

Number one, a reminder that there will never be enough money, period. Even when you are making more money, you’ll always want more on top of that.

Everyone’s situation is different, but you have to balance your current flexibility with your current pay. You’ve pointed that out clearly and that flexibility at your children’s ages are priceless. But again, it comes back to, there is never enough money.

I think we all benefit when there is an end game in sight. For example, you want to retire at age 60 with ~$100k a year, you’ll need ~$2.5m. What do you need between now and then to get there? You want to remodel your home in 3-5 years, how much is that, and what do you need to do to get there? You want to have a college fund, how much and how?

Once you have these buckets, you can assign your income these tasks and, based on your budget, you can see whether you are on track or come up short. That will determine how much more income you’ll need and thus look for a higher paying job, etc.

But until there is a vision, you’ll never land on “when is enough?”.

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Can I just ask what you and your wife do that you make so much and are fully remote?

This was very helpful, thank you! I think you are right, it never feels like enough. We took our first family vacation this year a 1.5 hour drive away for 3 days, we budgeted for it but it was still more than I planned on! We have savings goals in Mint to get to a 6mo emergency fund, retirement, house renovations and saving for college for all 3 kids. It just never feels like enough. And our food budget has increased with inflation this year.

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I am the wife, we both had in person jobs in NYC, but in 2018 my husband’s company asked if anyone wanted to go remote. He had been there for 11 years and everything he does is computer based. He volunteered (we were looking to get out of the city, our daughter was 9mo old then). When I told my small company I was leaving because we were moving several states away the owner asked if I wanted to work remotely. That was almost 5 years ago.

My husband works in e-learning/training for a large hospital group, I wear many hats for a small lighting manufacturing company. We both have niche careers.

Sounds like you’ve got a really good deal. You might have a look to see what’s out there, but don’t rush. The childcare costs are only for another couple of years.

So there is a plateau when it comes to salary and happiness and that plateau is around $75,000 -$100,000 depending on where you are living. Even in an expensive market like New York where you used to live making more than $100, 000 generally speaking will not increase happiness. It sounds like your job comes with alot of flexibility and benefits. So if you are looking for more money to receive more satisfaction I would caustion you are unlikely to find it. However, if you are looking for more work satisfaction or a new challenge, you may find it, however, you may not find the same flexibility and ability to spend time with your young family.

Best time to look for a job is when you don’t need one. You hold all the cards.

That said, sounds like you have a sweet set up. There is pretty much NO amount of money you could pay me to return to office at this point, or for more responsibilities/ stress. I have a toddler and currently pregnant, so work life balance and flexibility are my top priorities. If you can find the same set up that pays more, great! If it’s more money for more stress I would pass.

It would be helpful to have a full or budget to understand where your funds are going because from the description you should have plenty to take care of all of the extras you’re talking about. It does sound like you’re saving an excess for retirement, so that is a place you could cut back. Also childcare cost will likely go down once the kids are in school full-time and with the flexibility you have at your job would you be able to pick them up and have them at home until you’re off work?

With your ability to do overtime you could also target bringing home an extra $1,000 - $1,500 a month for savings and 529s.

But I agree with others it doesn’t sound worth it to leave your job now but maybe in a few years.

Everything you shared and how you shared it points to the fact that you enjoy the perks of your job and there are nonnegotiables that you would likely not find in another job. (Flexibility, ability to see your kids) Speaking as another mom, your kids are young. Enjoy your time with them. You won’t regret staying at this job but you could regret leaving for another job that will probably take away these benefits and potentially add on stress!

Thank you!! This is my plan.

Normally I'd say "Yes, of course look for a higher paying job!!" but based on everything you said...but after reading your whole story I would say you should stay put. It sounds like you have the perfect situation for someone who has three young children. I'd honestly consider staying there as long as possible given their level of flexibility to allow you to work and attend to the needs of your children.

This keeps you from paying for childcare or using sick days to take kids to appointments. Your boss sounds literally amazing, like a boss most people would dream of having.

It sounds like you’re happy where you are, are you really willing to sacrifice your happiness for an extension on your house?

I won’t pile on with what others have said, but why does your spouse think you need to change jobs?

I think you means 8 hours of OT a week and you have out your average pay of $35.7/hr with OT differential included from the math (assuming a differential exists). That isn’t terrible, but if you’re working 8 hours of OT a day, that’s terrible. It doesn’t sound flexible at all as that’s 80 hours a week. And at $87k a year, the math doesn’t work.

I understand the point about the plateau but $100k is just not it for HCOL/VHCOL areas. Here in SF Bay Area, rent for a 3bd can easily be over $3k (mortgage likely as much or more), and OP said childcare, though temporary, is $3100/mo. So that’s $73k+ already without accounting for any other expenses, savings, etc. at all. Bringing in $200k versus $100k for example would make a world of difference in quality of life and financial security.

I wish I could work from home but my job requires I work on a secured network. My wife works from home and homeschools our daughter. My job covers all health, dental and vision, and I’m not even close to maxing retirement for 401k or IRA. You’ve got a young family and I can’t say enough that having the flexibility your current boss allows you is something you may not find. Money might be nice, but that flexibility loss will absolutely cause issues your husband isn’t considering. Y’all have it pretty sweet, I wish I could work from home and be with my kids more but I’ve got a decent job with great benefits.

I think you'd have to make a lot more money to make up for a loss in flexibility.

Could you find a job that is as flexible and pays more? Maybe, but it's really hard to know what the working environment is like until you actually work somewhere (unless you know someone well who already works there).

If you do leave, make sure you leave on good terms, so you could always return if you want to in the future.

I’m in a similar position. My job is so flexible, I work 100% from home and have been able to keep my kid home with me so far (we did move my mom down so she can watch him when I need as he’s getting older). I do travel regularly, but I have excellent benefits and good pay. Could I make more? Absolutely, but it’d require far more responsibility, almost definitely I’d have to be in the office, etc. It’s a tough spot, but right now I choose the benefits and flexibility

If I were you I’d probably not change. I’m kind of in the same boat, small company unlimited over time, basically leave whenever I want and still get paid. Could I make way more? Probably but at the same time the stress level is so low and Im pretty comfortable so it’s a basically a no brainer for me.

We have three kids as well, and what we’ve found works is having one parent focus on earnings and one on flexibility. The flexibility really is invaluable, especially if a new role would likely mean travel. If he wants to bring more money in, that’s on him—and I’m saying that as the higher earner.

So I don't know if the $4k and 1 year of payments left on our minivan means:

1.) I have $4k left on the minivan and it'll take me 1 year to pay it off; or

2.) I have $4k left (on something else) and ,in addition to that, 1 year of payments ($352/month) left on the minivan.

Once you've got the monthly minivan payment paid off, take that $352 and put it in you vacation fund; house remodel fund; kids' activities fund; 529 fund; activities for adults fund, etc. Ditto with the $3.1k childcare fund. When one kid needs less it, move it over to one of the above mentioned funds or another. Ex.: So when the 5-year-old's after-school care costs go down from $1k/month to $500/month, move the $500 to 1-2 fund or more.

As others have stated, I would not give up that flexibility with young kids. Update your resume every six months, so when they're in middle school, you can pursue a job with less flexibility and more money.

Quick math says that if you grossed $87k last year, you logged about 200 hours of OT total. With the ability to work unlimited overtime without approval, your better bet is probably to bump that from the ~4 hours/week to 10 or so. That would gross you another $15k/yr and still maintain almost all of the flexibility you have now.

I skimmed the comments so I apologize if this is a duplicate question….are you happy at your job? With everything you’ve laid out it seems like staying is worthwhile to keep the flexibility. As a single mom I can say this for me would be worth staying IF I was happy in my role.

Don't count on the school picking up a parents' slack totally. Unless they've been in daycare/preschool since two-years old, those kids are going to be sick a minimum of twice a month. And, if they were like mine, they would stagger they days they had to stay home.

You will be surprised how many sick days you will have to sacrifice in order to pick them up from school and run them to doctor's appointments. They can't go back to school until fever free, either.

Don't do it. The return to an office would not be worth it unless 1) you have a nanny or a GMa ready to step in and/or 2) a husband who can take all that time off his WFH situation - for three kids. All the time. Don't forget your added expenses like clothes, dry cleaning, gas, car maintenance, and just the unpaid labor of a daily commute.

I know it isn't the point of this post, might even get me banned for saying so, but you are god damn lucky to have such a high wage.

I make $9 an hour and I would kill for that wage.

I mean VPN exists for a reason. No doubt there can be other reasons you can't work from home or it's more nuanced than secured network but if is just, "we need you on our secured network", that's crap.

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Sounds like you guys are doing fine— and have perfect flexibility for your family. Contribute less to retirement if you need more cash.

It’s not able to VPN because of the security required. Can’t really go into much more than that.

My advice would be to look at adding a contract or second job to your situation. Check out /r/overemployed

I would kill for that level of flexibility.

It also seems like you are a valued and respected member of the team and that the company wants to keep you happy and keep you around.

I won’t stick around for much, but I would stick around for all that.

Flexibility is hugely valuable. I personally would recommend staying where you are, especially with kids that age & all the things that come up with them.

Since it seems like your family is comfortable financially I would highly recommend staying out & using the flexibility to take care of your kids.

Obviously retirement is important but if there’s a few things you’d like to do to the house maybe scale back the retirement savings temporarily.

fair enough

I would not invest much energy or effort into looking, can’t hurt I guess but sounds like you have the ideal setup already

It sounds like you're showing off just how good you have it, and I am very jealous. If you can, pay off the minivan. I think it unlikely that a year's worth of payments will put a dent in your overall financial health. I've also seen CDs that pay 4%+ on just 6 months, with rates going higher the longer they hold on to your money.

WFH with unlimited OT? That’s hard to beat if not unheard of. I have unlimited OT at work but I’m 100% on-site. It’s never a bad idea to look around but either way you seem to be in a good spot.

Heads up to keep an eye as you approach phase-out in qualification levels for your ROTH IRA. Based on your numbers and 1.85x ratio - your combined income appears to be about 248k gross. The AGI limits for married filers kicks in between 214k-228k: https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/roth-ira-contribution-limits

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Man, as a Maine native, I'm struggling to not unleash a tirade about the influx of transplants and their... uh, quirks.

I'll keep it civil and relevant: no, your job sounds great, and you risk making your life considerably more stressful if you leave for some meager payout. You're making more than like 90% of the people around you and your household income is probably in the top 1% of the state. Come on now.

Seems to me you wouldn't be much worse off just quitting the job altogether.

It never hurts to LOOK for a higher paying job. I try to interview at 3 different places per year, even when I'm not actually wanting a new job. It does a couple things for me:

1. Keeps me and my resume fresh on interviewing. I don't want to be in a situation where I lose my job, and haven't interviewed or updated my resume in 15 years.
2. Gives me an insight into what the market is looking to get from someone in my position. What can I change about what I do to be more effective/desirable?
3. If I receive an offer, it lets me know what the market rate is for what I do. I can then use that information to request a raise at review season, if it's reasonable.
4. It leaves me open to amazing opportunities that come my way. I got a a 28% pay raise to do an almost identical job, because I was open to the opportunity.

I’m wondering … have you calculated how much it costs you to work? How much does your employment contribute to the taxes you pay? If you didn’t work, would you still be in need of childcare? (I ask because, with your spouse working from home, you might have to have a quieter environment than 3 young kids will provide, especially in a small house). BTW, childcare doesn’t completely disappear once kids are in school. There are lots of days when kids aren’t in school and those breaks and summer can be very expensive.

I ask these questions because, if I were in your situation, I’d lean toward working less, not more. I wouldn’t take the OT given the bonus package. I’d lean toward straight salary plus profit sharing. That way, if you work less than 40-hours but get your job done, it doesn’t matter to your cash flow. You can take your reduced stress level and put that toward household money management and quality of life issues.

As for the house, keep in mind I’ve raised 5 kids to adulthood, your 3 bd, 1.5 ba, 1700 sq ft is fine until the kids are around age 12. Before then, I’d predict you might move to a more suitable house rather than remodel.

So, priorities:

• Emergency fund. Aim for 6 months of regular monthly expenses (including daycare).

• Debt pay-off except the mortgage. Reduce unnecessary expenses.

• Save for another used vehicle.

• Fund retirement.

• Aim to have one stay-at-home parent by the time the oldest child is 12. At that point, childcare ends and the middle school / teenagers truly need their parents around. If you can only choose one time in childhood when you don’t work, the time between 12 and 18 is the most critical.

This is my feeling, I’m comfortable where I am right now and not looking for more responsibility at the moment.

He thinks I could make more money.

I mean I make that wage for 8 hours per day and any time over that is paid a 1.5x my wage. My base wage is as stated above.

You guys are killing it so I don’t understand the question?

Portland, Maine is not a med-high COL area. It below average COL. OP needs a budget and realistic life expectations. There's nothing in OP's post that says how much they are being paid compared to market value. Considering their absolutely huge perks, they've got total compensation close to $100,000 (they have 5 weeks PTO, so I'd estimate it's actually more than $100,000 total compensation).

Edit: I misread my source- Maine is overall lower than average. Portland is slightly above average. In 2018 when OP moved there, it was about average, maybe slightly above. Unless they bought their home in the last 12 months, they very likely made out like bandits buying a home using NYC salaries.

COL is not the problem for OP. They're making HCOL salaries and living in at WORST a medium cost of living area.

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Thank you for this perspective! I too look at it that I have the flexible job and he has the higher earning job.

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Regarding the minivan, #1, we have 12 months left on the loan.

Your job offers you an absolutely incredible amount of flexibility and PTO (compared to average Americans). If you like the work, you could use some of that free time and flexibility to find other ways to save/"make" money. Couponing, budgeting, deal hunting. Things like travel deals, maximizing your credit card points or loyalty points, etc. You could essentially be getting 5-10% return on every purchase you make in a year or buying the things you would be buying anyway but always at a discount.

$8,557.15 in overtime for 2022, 159 hours

My kids have been in full time daycare since they were 12 weeks old. I’m quite familiar with keeping them home when sick.

My husband thinks I can find another full time fully remote job that pays me more money.

Yes I realize that. I also have over 20 years of experience and I have a masters degree.

I'm so tired of children being the woman's responsibility. This is why my two adult (one married, one engaged) children are NOT having children.

Does it cost to look?

Combined gross is 210k for 2022. All our pretax deductions keep us under the limit. 401k, 403b, dependent care FSA, medical FSA, dental, vision & health.

Great idea! We do shop at the cheaper grocery store and I take all the hand me down toys & clothes/shoes/outerwear items for my kids

Where did you get that Portland isn’t a med COL area? Housing is 29% higher than average across the country.

https://www.payscale.com/cost-of-living-calculator/Maine-Portland

Als, look at this table for 2 working adults with 3 kids

https://livingwage.mit.edu/metros/38860

The best advice anyone will ever give you is this:

“It doesn’t hurt to send resumes.”

You got a good thing right now, and that’s good. But there is no way you or anyone else can know if you have the best. So send out resumes. It doesn’t take very long to update a resume, and send them out.

If a place looks good, and you get an interview, by all means take it. Then ask all the questions you need. The easiest time to find a job is when you already have a job you don’t mind staying at.

And maybe you find out that it is as hard to find a job in your industry as you expect, which will give you a greater sense of feeling about your current job.

I would not sacrifice the flexibility and your job might pay you more in a few years.

Side note: I started to sell stock options this year kind of as a side hustle (there is a learning curve but I think it went well). Our household is similar, we max our retirement and with expenses it’s hard to have “extra” that can go to other things (without decreasing amount going into retirement). This is what motivated me to try and find a side hustle.

I grew up in Maine

Unless y'all's mortgage is nuts, you don't like your job, or you just happen upon something wonderful... Why screw with what works?

You guys have a pretty good household income even in a HCOL area and are already meeting all obligations and recommended savings. Changing jobs and stressing yourself out seems worthless unless you hit the job jackpot.

I quit my job to be a stay at home dad. It's pretty great but only one kid so far. If your husband keeps pressing you about jobs and you don't want to hear it, float the SAHM idea.

I would not be looking for a different job.

I grew up in Maine, left to get an education and returned to raise my family after years of experience in a city that had lots of opportunities to gain experience in my niche field.

Why is that?

If you are happy with the pay, then don’t waste your current opportunity to spend time with family and enjoy that flexible schedule. Unless your situation changes to a paycheck-to-paycheck anxiety raising level, you should hold on to the current job as long as possible.

People that don’t have flexibility are (likely not going to get it in their current job) looking for jobs that offer some modicum of flexibility. Think this through, have a heart to heart and keep your options open.

That flexibility is hard to beat and means more time with your kids and living a life outside of work. If you stay with that company and continue to do great as you’re already doing I’m sure they’ll treat you fairly as the company grows. Hope that helps!

I’m thinking of switching career paths or at least a side job so if y’all have any openings please let me know! I’d love to work from home!

Great point!

What type of work do you do? Sounds like you have a solid set up and I’d think it’d be harder to find a better gig than you have right now

What makes your husband think he knows so much about your career options and earning potential? He works for a much larger organization, of course there is more money available for him and others in his profession.

You have found a unicorn job-a small business that pays well, treats you good and is flexible. If you decided to be a road dog, husband will have to pick up the slack with the kids.

What do you do for a living out of curiosity?

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And perhaps you can BUT fully remote doesn't mean flexible.

What is your niche field?

You don’t know what’s out there until you try. Higher paying jobs don’t mean less flexible. From my experience, lower paying jobs have worst work environment in most cases

Ah, so you already know the drill. Then, go for a fully remote job as long as your husband is down for doing at least his 50%. It sounds doable - unless you were commuting to an office every day.

Go through the mental exercise with your husband of what could be done to eliminate or drastically reduce daycare. Get creative and use your work flexibility. One could start work early the other start work late. Break your day into a morning and evening shift to get your hours in. Put some hours in and Saturday and Sunday to offset shorter work days. Have a babysitter/nanny come in for a few hours a day to help if needed. Getting rid of daycare would add 37K to you bottom line. You would need greater than a 40% pay raise to make that 37K.

It is an awful idea to make so many changes to your house, just buy another one. Yes you should look for a new job if you feel you need money. At least understand the market so you know.

Maybe I’m bad at math. Do you work 80 hrs a week and call that flexible? That’s like $185k gross, but last year you made $87k. Did you mean $187k but dropped off your most significant figure?

Ah, well good job not being a part of the Maine brain drain then. I went to USM which was certainly one of the decisions I've ever made.

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Who do you work for? Id like to apply ty

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Thanks for these points!

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We are a 7 person small business and I am the owners right hand person. I wear many hats, I’m a product specialist but I also quote & close the sale, manage the project through the shop, I’m the direct customer contact and customer support. I also work with specifiers to select the best product for their project. I advise on product development and am kept in the loop on company finances. I’ve been doing this job since 2014 and have grown with the company which was started around 2010.

Thank you for this, yes I think I have a good gig.

We are a 7 person small business and I am the owners right hand person. I wear many hats, I’m a product specialist but I also quote & close the sale, manage the project through the shop, I’m the direct customer contact and customer support. I also work with specifiers to select the best product for their project. I advise on product development and am kept in the loop on company finances. I’ve been doing this job since 2014 and have grown with the company which was started around 2010.

Very true, his job is not as flexible as mine but he is also fully remote.

Specification lighting manufacturing

Thanks!

But what kind of socialization/schooling would my children get without daycare? Getting creative is great for babies and toddlers, but in February my twins will be 4 years old. I’m September they will start preK at their current daycare (private, no public preK here).

Not to mention both boys receive speech therapy services at school now, through Early Intervention. There is currently a shortage of providers, so they would not receive services if I took them out of daycare/school.

Well done! Hard to complain once you get to the point where you zone out of eligibility, but for sure something to watch for (just happened to me over the past few years).

I would also add something as someone with kids in full-day school. The appointments, doctor visits, illnesses, and general need for flexibility will still be there. It's honestly priceless to have flexibility until they are grown and fully self sufficient.

Even in a fantastic neighborhood with a mortgage at 2.5%?? To get something bigger we would be looking at $850k in our town, not even in our neighborhood. Home prices have increased drastically in our area in the past 5 years.

> We pay $352/mo at 3.9%

Ahh, I saw this, but it is for your van. In that case, I’d say use your equity to finance the addition, don’t waste any time.

As for the job, understand the market

I work approx 42-44 hours a week. Every hour per day over 8 hours per day is paid at 1.5x my base rate.

So if I work 10 hours for 2 days and then 3 days at 7 hours I get paid for 37 reg hours and 4 hours of overtime.

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I’ve never thought of it in this way specifically but this is exactly why our situation works. My husband makes 2x as much as I do but my job is way more flexible. I can always take time away to go pick up sick kiddo, run to doctors appointments, go to school activities etc. I can take last minute PTO. I can request off PTO and run into the negative if I don’t have enough saved up. I can definitely make more if I change companies but I would definitely lose this flexibility.

It comes down to a lifestyle choice. You have to decide if paying for daycare works best for you and understand the financial impact on the household. There are parent groups and homeschool resources for socialization if that is a priority for you. You could also research what homeschool parents do for preK to see if you can find a solution for your situation. Contact Early Intervention to see if there are any other options for speech therapy. Check with your health insurance to see if they will cover the therapy costs. The other option is tell your husband you are happy with the way things are and we can revisit this when the kids are full time in school.

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It doesn’t hurt to look around in my opinion.

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It sounds like you value time and flexibility more than additional money. Overall there seems to be more to lose (flexibility and time) than gain (money) by switching jobs. You could always look but here’s my advice as someone who took more pay with less flexibility. Be extremely open and upfront about what you want, this is as much a part of interviewing and negotiation as the salary. Explain what’s important to you as far as flexibility, and if you take the job, hold them to it.

When recruiters contact me there’s two things that I find out before having a conversation, what’s the pay and what’s the flexibility/PTO like, they like to stretch the truth but it at least saves us both some trouble.

P.S. You hit on the marginal utility of money, it’s a good economic concept to be familiar with. Essentially, the 99th to 100th bite of dessert is minimally better, but that first bite is wonderful. The $20,000 more won’t make a big difference if you already make 250-300k, but if you only make $10,000, $20,000 more is a massive improvement in your life.

We net 10k per month and our mortgage/taxes/insurance is $2205/mo. Daycare is $3090 (includes 2 at full time and 1 before/after care)

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Applying for jobs isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I do think you have a great situation right now, but it doesn’t hurt to keep your interview skills sharp, or even just make the connections with recruiters in case something did ever happen with your niche small business job you’d have an easier time finding a new one since you’ll know what’s actually available. Even if you get offered a job you interview for, you can always decline.

That said you do have a pretty good sounding situation right now, and your combined income is pretty high, it may be easier to review your budget again and see if there’s anywhere you can cut down on. If there really isn’t, then maybe just wait until your kids are a few years older and childcare costs are less, then you’ll have a lot more to save.

Look at the PTBSR (Pay to BS Ratio). Making less in a great situation can mean a happier you, and isn't that what it's all about?

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i can really only come at this from my own perspective. it seems like you are doing alright. consider what you want to save money for? to be secure enough to take time to spend with family etc? which this job allows already so thats worth something. if you think your vehicle would make it 3 years beyond being paid off, that time of no car payments might do it for the desired reno? that would be about 12 something thousand above and beyond.. and it sounds like you could get a signature loan for something like that. i think the journey and the destination are both important ya know. maybe the reno is more, i dont know what you guys are comfortable with etc, but my point is you will be +352 debt to income fairly soon. maybe that could help with the reno stuff.

Seems like a great set up. When your kids are older you can make more money. Being home and available for your children is an awesome benefit.

You are probably better off than 95% of the people in your age range, in terms of what your able to save towards retirement. Remember that most people don't even have $1000 in savings. Your probably putting away $1000/week towards retirement if your both maxing out your Roth IRA and your able to shuttle your kids around.

My wife left the workforce and stayed home (with our young children) for 7 years. She now works from home 30 hours a week. Very flexible. I'm still on track to retire by 50 with a pension and my 401k/Roth. Wouldn't change a thing.

I don't work in private industry, but I imagine it's very competitive and the idea of climbing the latter is present. But opportunities will always be available down the road for those that are competent.

Aside from the great setup, once you leave to a new workplace, you don’t know who will be waiting for you there, assholes, backstabbers? At your current job you know all the players and how to deal with them.

You should never stop looking and networking. The best way to earn more money is to get another job.

I think you would trade off massive flexibility for any increase in salary and not necessarily find WFH. Sounds like you are in middle of nowhere-ish; so there is the potential of increasing driving which is fuel, maintenance, depreciation - this can all account for several thousands of dollars per year. You working from home is a benefit that saves on those items. Don't underestimate the ability to be home and what time spent commuting could better be spent doing.

If there isn't necessarily money for raises, look for other ways to be compensated; an increase in PTO or personal days, for example. Those have a value.

It sounds like you really have an ideal situation. For me, I'd need a significant, ridiculous raise to give up all those soft benefits. I don't think it is possible. But shop yourself and the market. If you like your job, get creative about extracting more value on good terms.

Looking - what about asking? I don't know what your relationship is with your boss, but if the company is doing well see if they could get you to 38 or 40. Three years ago I would've said go. I now have two kids and I understand the value of the flexibility and familiarity you have with your employer. That kind of thing means a lot. At a certain point, time with your young children is more valuable than any amount of money. It seems like your family is doing well. Your basic needs are met, and then some. In a couple of years childcare will come down if you're in public schools. Renovate then, perhaps. I understand the burdens of childcare all too well. Planning to redirect some that money to 529s when the time comes. Best of luck to you, I love the idea of living in that area of the country. It seems like an idyllic life.

It comes down to what is most important to you. You may have the opportunity to make more but at what cost to the life that you have grown accustomed? Being remote, having the ability to step away, these are things that are hard to put a price on? Additionally, if you believe in the company, the profit sharing should have the ability to allow for continued growth.

We are not young, almost 42 and almost 48.

One other note: a lot people that were hired to be remote are now being told they aren’t anymore.

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I would say look around and see what you get. You don't have to accept anything. Looks like money isn't an issue, so having the flexibility and security is probably the better option.

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4 weeks vacation is really difficult to get when you're new at a company

Hard to price tag that

MAYBE you can find another job, but with economic uncertainty looming, I'd stay out for sure.

If you did find another job there is good possibility that you will be replaced as it sounds like this type of job many moms would love. If things dont work out as you planned, it may not be possible to get your job back.

I just got that extra week this past year! Due to 10 years working for them.

Also, right now, OP is at a place where they can look and be picky. The best time to look for a job is when you have a job.

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Personally I take the approach of being comfortable or as comfortable as I can in a given job but never complacent, it's worth routinely taking a look at local job listing sites and potentially even getting in touch with a recruiter or headhunter if you have a specialized field and feel as if you've capped out your potential growth at a particular place of work.

Just stay searching and be transparent about your situation and wants in your new job, you never know what could be waiting out there to find.

You are paying 3100 a month in child care. Once school starts (as in the kids are old enough) you are going to get a 3100 a month raise for 9 months out of the year. I’m assuming you’ll need summer camp which is still expensive. I personally wouldn’t throw away a job I like when pinching pennys for a temporary expense (which child care is a 5 year per child temporary expense). Fwiw, we have similar incomes, and once daycare goes poof, you get a lot more breathing room in the budget.

You both work from home. Why do you need before and after care? My husband works from home and I occasionally do, but we put our kid on the bus and get her off the bus. She does her hw and gets a snack and plays while we finish work. She’s second grade, but we survived 2 years of full virtual prior with us both working. You could save money just by getting them on and off the bus yourselves.

As a parent of a 4 year old and 3 year old who has to travel ~20-40% for work, I can assure you that the flexibility you have has quite a lot of value. Sounds like your kids are perhaps near same age since you mention both having to attend IEPs and that you’re paying childcare and kids aren’t in school.

It definitely sounds like you could make more elsewhere. But I’d agree that it sounds like it would be easier to make that move in 1-3 years or whatever it is until kids are in full time school.

You’re not hurting for money, you’re saving plenty for retirement, and delaying a move to higher income a little longer (combined with no longer having daycare payments) will allow plenty of extra income to achieve your additional goals.

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