TIFU by telling a guy I always check him out

Submitted by myotheracct_is7yo t3_1244ysi in tifu

I just got home from work today and spotted a contractor working on my apartment building. This is the second time I’ve seen him around here, and last time I thought he looked familiar. So tonight I asked him what his name was, because I work in a pharmacy and I wondered if he was one of our patients. Turned out he is one of the regulars. I told him my name and said, “I’m always checking you out.” He replied, “yeah, same here.” I meant, I’m the cashier always checking out/ringing up his prescriptions for him. But now he thinks I was hitting on him, and he is likely to follow suit next time I see him at the pharmacy. Oh crap.

TL;DR I ran into a customer outside of work, told him I always check him out, he said same, but I meant ringing up his purchases.

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suagtforutube t1_jdycdr4 wrote

You know what you should so, start flirting with him, date him and then marry him, have kids, grow old and then in your death bed, tell him you weren't really checking him out.

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Totally-NotAMurderer t1_jdye29j wrote

The best pranks are the long hauls

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gustofwindddance t1_jdyh43u wrote

The long con

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offspring515 t1_jdzazos wrote

Ask him for one last kiss. When he leans in whisper in his ear "Do you have your rewards card with you today?"

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SeanyD72 t1_je0f9m5 wrote

And have like seven children with him... just to throw him off the scent.

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D_Razu t1_je0u5uj wrote

This reminds me of those romantic stories of that plot twist-

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Easttexassingle t1_je1gdzh wrote

She needs to make sure it ain’t Valtrex, Herpes Meds, he’s picking up before she does this though. LOL

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Bojax22 t1_je1zh2t wrote

3 years into a happy marriage...

...freeze, Im a cop

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cyclops32 t1_je3tqnv wrote

Ask for his phone number as to not be completely creepy, and then give him a call. He will be checking you out, and you’ll will be ringing him up.

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Lem0n_Lem0n t1_jdzdzak wrote

OP is a guy..

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Funkymonk761 t1_jdzl8sx wrote

Guys can get married.

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Lem0n_Lem0n t1_jdzn1u6 wrote

But what about the 'having kids' part??

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picklesTommyPickles t1_jdzng9m wrote

Many ways for two men to have kids. Off the top of my head, adoption and theft are readily available options.

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Lem0n_Lem0n t1_jdznkyv wrote

Theft ??

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Lofter1 t1_jdzq5m7 wrote

yes, theft. like, you see a kid, you take it home without paying for it.

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A-Dolahans-hat t1_jdzwyv5 wrote

Wait, you can do that? They always chase me away from the school and playgrounds

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Nailbomb85 t1_je0q4oq wrote

It's GTA rules, It's only illegal if you get caught.

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illarionds t1_je092nj wrote

Come on, OP is a cashier. They're not going to go for that!

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Gheauxst t1_je0rn2l wrote

They don't want you to know this, but the kids are free

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Lofter1 t1_je0u0a8 wrote

THATS WHY THE PARENTS NEVER CHASED AFTER ME! I thought my stealth level was just 100

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdybtr8 wrote

It will be hilarious when he goes to the pharmacy next and in addition to his prescriptions, he buys extra large condoms then asks if you want to go for coffee after your shift

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dietbongwater t1_jdynmx3 wrote

See you gotta do it with class, if he had a magnum condom poking out of his wallet when he goes to pay, he’s in the clear

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leafshaker t1_jdznj9e wrote

Then you know to avoid at all costs, because that dude doesn't know how condoms work. Do not store in wallets!

Edit to add: they can tear from walking and pressure. Microtears may not be visible to the eye

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Caveman108 t1_jdz2xbk wrote

She should just tell him: “Oh honey, those won’t fit on mine.”

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VegQuaker t1_jdzc1os wrote

I once confused a guy for someone else and said, "hey asshole, didn't know you would be here!"

Dated him for 3 years

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Stevarooni t1_jdym5s3 wrote

I wouldn't say that you F'd Up. You said something awkward, and either he understood and flirted with you jokingly, or he misunderstood and you can put the brakes on subtly if he turns on the heat. It'll be okay.

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Half_burnt_skunk t1_jdyuu76 wrote

That's not a fuck up. Sounds to me like the start of a good friendship or more.

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nsk_nyc t1_jdz0c9u wrote

Ah, after reading so much toxic crap online. It is nice to see a wholesome post like this.

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Half_burnt_skunk t1_jdz2iq9 wrote

It's just reality. There is nothing wrong with bonding with people. We all should embrace those that we gravitate towards.

If there's a chemistry/natural bond, regardless of labels of relationship, you should embrace that natural connection.

One of my favorite people in life (47f) is now my (42m) "lesbian wifey." I'm a straight male, and she is dedicated lesbian. However, we connected and have one of the healthiest relationships. I just purchased 2 acres in Oregon and we are fixing it up together.

There's something raw and natural when you gravitate towards other humans. I adore my lesbian "wifey" more than most people. We both know there's no sexual tension, so we are open and honest with each other about everything! We do Friday party nights, and Sunday pajamas and cuddle movie days. It warms my soul.

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GsTSaien t1_jdz5vu4 wrote

That sounds lovely, I am very happy you have that bond; sadly for many of us being flirted with by a stranger does not lead to feelings of safety and bonding :c

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Half_burnt_skunk t1_jdz6oy7 wrote

I totally understand. It's not always flirting, though. It could be someone just being genuine.

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BeneficialName9863 t1_jdzkcwj wrote

One of my best friends is a lesbian, I fell for her before I knew but now i do, I don't feel rejected. What stays with me is that she was that lovely a person who to me without wanting anything from me.

I've got straight female friends where we have zero sexual tension too though, seeing them naked would be like walking in on my sister or cousin. That connection is definitely separate from sex to me, I've always been dragged away from a party or event by someone I just met because I was too dense to get the hint rather than relationships.

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Veggdyret t1_jdz0qc5 wrote

You have heard of this thing when the server says "enjoy your meal" and people answer with "you too"and think about it for the rest of the night? Sure this wasn't one of them?

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azlan194 t1_jdzq78u wrote

Ikr. At my work cafeteria, whenever the lady rings me up, she will follow up with "have a nice day", of course I will respond with, "Thanks, you too." But occasionally, she would say, "Enjoy your meal," and I would respond without thinking, "Thanks, you too."

I think she is doing it on purpose to have a lol with people.

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Cassereddit t1_je14uju wrote

I did that in an Irish pub a while ago.

My solution was to turn it into a running gag every time I'm there.

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GFlair t1_jdzzrh7 wrote

This is me with see you later. And then I'm like... I will never see this person again wtf am I even saying. Or worse when you catch yourself saying it midway through and it's like cya la...bye.

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FG88_NR t1_jdyq8dt wrote

Just play it off. Next time you see him at work, joke and say "hey, see, always checking you out."

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nsk_nyc t1_jdz08z0 wrote

Yup. I was thinking of a way to play it off, and this is definitely the way. It'll definitely make him think or set up a bit of a defense, in case he accepts the 'invitation'. That is of course if you're not interested. Or could add a nice story for the future.

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HollowVoices t1_jdz377v wrote

I was once shopping around Walmart, and an employee followed me around a few aisles with some product. I tried to be funny and asked if she was stalking me.

She replied with: "Just these papertowels."

Well played

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HaikuBotStalksMe t1_je16aoa wrote

Her, weeks later: "wait, what if he didn't say 'stockin meat' and he actually said 'stalking me'? Damn it, Julie."

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PokePounder t1_jdzvlk6 wrote

I was in line behind a bread delivery guy at a coffee shop once. When he was ordering, the cashier pointed out that he had a price tag stuck to his shirt. She playfully asked “what are you worth?” He was caught off guard, and was looking over his shirt trying to find the tag, and he reads it and answers “A date.” (It was not a price sticker but a best-before sticker). The cashier brightens up and cheerfully replies “Really?!” It was pretty painful watching him backpedal that one.

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SpiritTalker t1_jdy20a5 wrote

Insert Joey, "How YOU doing'?"

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lambofgun t1_jdxvh9p wrote

"dad? hey! whats up! i have great news. remember how you said i should just get out there and test the waters?! and that its ok to move on and that janice wouldve wanted me to be happy? well, guess what...!?"

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drkchld13 t1_jdzqypq wrote

Next time at the check out, say something like here we are checking you out again. That should connect and cover the situation.

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PMmeHOPEplease t1_jdzbjov wrote

Woosh. He knew what you meant and is just quick to respond with wit.

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Dzyu t1_jdzsrjj wrote

I assume you wanted to type "wit" as in a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humour and not "whit" as in a very small part or amount.

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AtomicFi t1_je0dzsa wrote

“… did I really say ‘same here’? How the fuck am I supposed to check her out if I don’t even work there; what register would I use? Dumbass, she’s probably laughing at me right now.”

Her right now: See Post

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TheMelv t1_je072r9 wrote

"yeah, same here" really sounds more like when the ticket taker says "enjoy the movie" and you say "thanks, you too." Needs more context, did he smile back or something? Dudes are generally not subtle, probably have nothing to worry about.

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only_because_I_can t1_je0haez wrote

I had a good looking contractor working on the apartment complex I lived in several years ago. He would carve "arrowheads" made of glass and leave them on my patio table for me to find.

I thought it was very sweet and gave me the confidence to speak to him when I saw him one day. I thanked him for the "gifts" and gushed about how talented and thoughtful he was.

He tipped his hat and said, "My wife tells me that all the time."

Ugh. Definitely read him incorrectly. I was very embarrassed.

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SteveBored t1_je1ki0m wrote

Kinda understandable mistake though.

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only_because_I_can t1_je1v51b wrote

Thanks.

I mean, he wasn't wearing a ring and definitely wasn't shy. It was easy to assume... things.

But, I won't break the girls' code and won't be a mistress.

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Dizzman1 t1_je0oiyq wrote

You didn't answer an important question... Is he someone you'd like to "check out"?

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myotheracct_is7yo OP t1_je21p2u wrote

Ha, it’s kind of cringe. He’s always nice, not bad looking, but he’s a big flirt and I always ignore the flirtations at work. I don’t know if he’s someone I would date. Maybe?!

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Dizzman1 t1_je21w7w wrote

then it's a win! you have avenues to kill it, move on it, or strong it along to make up your mind! 👍😂

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MrHyde87 t1_je0v21b wrote

When wording actually matters.

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BMcCJ t1_je13mt4 wrote

I think he knew what you meant!

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Gordon_Explosion t1_je033ls wrote

Oh shit, honest and open communication accidently happened. Run.

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usually00 t1_je08jwe wrote

You are living our romcom dreams. Let us know how it goes.

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FastProcess t1_je0brvs wrote

When he does come to the pharmacy, make sure you tell him "ok, let me get your prescription and I'll check you out".

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person6450719ne t1_je0fv54 wrote

Most guys check out most of the girls out so it not a big deal

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No_Key_4335 t1_je0itl9 wrote

3 other possibilities:

1.) It was one of those instinctual things where people respond similarly without thinking about what they heard (ex. Saying “you too” in response to things that don’t make sense when you think about it).

2.) He did misinterpret what you meant but he’s not actually interested and just said “same here” to be polite instead of rude (did he ask you for your number, snap, etc. after you said you checked him out? If not, this scenario could be the case). In this case, he might act like nothing happened the next time he comes to the pharmacy for his meds.

3.) He meant that, yes, he’s always checking himself out as well (man is really in love with himself).

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NearbyCamera69 t1_je0yv00 wrote

He’s probably being cheeky…. sometimes the case with a contractor.

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GuyD427 t1_je116tp wrote

Maybe use “ringing you up” next time so you don’t get hopes up!

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klughless t1_je140b8 wrote

I work in a pharmacy. I try to avoid patients at all costs. I would have never done what you did

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myotheracct_is7yo OP t1_je216yv wrote

It was bugging me that he looked familiar. But yes, as soon as the exchange occurred, I was like, shit, he knows where I live now, too! Doh!

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WaffleEnema t1_je1mocc wrote

This should be in r/maybegotsomeonethrutheweek

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mfomatratzen t1_je26eky wrote

Coming this season in the Hallmark Channel: Checking you out, with gwyneth paltrow and Channing Tatum.

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coolthesejets t1_je2mljy wrote

This will improve his mood for the next 10 years.

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MsChrisRI t1_je0mb8p wrote

Odds are he’ll do nothing at the pharmacy aside from being amused by this convo. If not, tell him the truth. Then ask him to co-write a buddy comedy screenplay based on this misunderstanding.

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b4dt0ny t1_je23eqg wrote

Next thing you know… he’s going to show up at the counter with Magnum condoms when he gets his next refill and ask you to ring him up

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kylefn t1_je2ob7d wrote

The important thing is… is he cute?

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VivelaVendetta t1_je072ii wrote

There's a reddit sub, discord or even Facebook groups for almost any and everything online. You just have to find your people.

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Psycheau t1_je0yokt wrote

There's this function built in to your brain, it's called pre-ejit mode, if you use it you can listen to what you are about to say, then decide to say it differently before making a fool of yourself. Try it out some time, works great.

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6byfour t1_je1cdna wrote

See if he’ll try to get you pregnant

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Chair_Toaster t1_je03rh0 wrote

You crossed a line and creeped on him. Hope he’s okay.

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