29 year old male here, at the title implies. Where do single people in there 20s & 30s meet each other?. Not really into the Bar & Club scene. My interests are pretty nerdy, I like Anime, Movies, Music and Video Games. I've been trying to get into the small goth scene in Maine but it mostly seems like its just clubs. It seems like to me there is a lack of third places in Maine (IMO). Dating apps are horrible and haven't worked for me. (Small note here, I have lived in Maine my whole life).
Comments
PumaGranite t1_je32t0b wrote
Can confirm, currently in the Maine/Massachusetts reproductive cycle, my Massachusetts mate and I will marry in Maine and then we will be planning the return up the great river I95 to spawn in the next few years or so. This maintains the state’s genetic diversity.
wannaseemycellar t1_je2fym4 wrote
Can confirm I grew up in Massachusetts and have mated with a native Mainer. We moved to maine together to spawn.
[deleted] OP t1_je2y60o wrote
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benevolentmaster111 t1_je29q4v wrote
I really hope this is satire.
OP, please do not take dating advice from this person.
AnUnderratedComment t1_je2uefa wrote
I mean, having lived in both Maine and Mass for multiple years, his comment is relatively in line with what I experienced.
What part are you concerned about? I’m pretty sure OP will know that the egg laying thing was most likely a joke.
[deleted] OP t1_je2w9dp wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_je2ynz0 wrote
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benevolentmaster111 t1_je30sp3 wrote
Yes, you're right. It's close to impossible for a straight male in Maine to find a partner without either moving to Mass or lying about their interests.
Creepy pickup artist shit is the best.
AnUnderratedComment t1_je32orx wrote
Pretty sure developing new interests was the suggestion, not lying about fake ones.
Is that right?
Anyway, do you live in Maine? Most folks I know there bitch about this issue all the time. They’d all get a good laugh out of the guy’s comment. Mainers have very thick skin and as a group tend to enjoy pretty rough humor. Not sure why you are taking it so hard.
benevolentmaster111 t1_je33inv wrote
Dude, I am stoned AF trolling Reddit.
Very well apparently.
AnUnderratedComment t1_je33rlv wrote
And I am stoned AF cruising Reddit looking for folks to aimlessly argue with.
Hope to catch you again on another thread sometime. Have a good night.
demalo t1_je4fj1o wrote
Stoned and looking for a fight? I think they’re doing something wrong.
dirtydayboy t1_je4jjfr wrote
My man is smoking PCP
benevolentmaster111 t1_je3433v wrote
You too man.
lrappin t1_je2ldwi wrote
Totally agreed. Lie to ladies so they'll hook up with you? Wtf
raynedanser t1_je33kfy wrote
Wow. You think that's all women are into?
flylikemusic t1_je3zl17 wrote
Also farmers markets
raynedanser t1_je4gsrk wrote
That's one of the best ideas yet.
demalo t1_je4f5vq wrote
So op doesn’t have to argue, “some examples” was said. Please offer other examples, it will help elevate the conversation. I know woman who enjoy movies, are foodies, fishing, hiking, etc.
raynedanser t1_je4gk3b wrote
Exactly. Fishing. Hiking. Four wheeling. Back packing. Camping. I also know women that weld and do body work and are mechanics.
Maybe try suggesting things with a bit more variety than the old fashioned, "traditional" women hobbies? Broaden those ideas too.
ilikefishwaytoomuch t1_je4eusy wrote
WOW
[deleted] OP t1_je0x3pb wrote
Interesting view, I'll keep that mind.
leenleen23 t1_je1zast wrote
Bruh what? No, go fishing, camping, ride some motorized outdoor vehicle. Go out to eat, go out and socialize in general. Women like men who like to go do shit not be stuck inside all the time.
HedsyZebsy t1_je25ypp wrote
Did I miss the last womens meeting, where we synchronized our periods AND our dating preferences?
leenleen23 t1_je27db8 wrote
I believe baking and slaughtering our enemies are still up for debate.
benevolentmaster111 t1_je29v2x wrote
Right?
"Oh you're into video games? No woman will like you"
leenleen23 t1_je2ckmt wrote
The issue is the douche replying with "women's interests."
benevolentmaster111 t1_je2don3 wrote
Oh I got that.
larbar44 t1_je2rhyw wrote
You are right.
[deleted] OP t1_je1znhq wrote
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MrFittsworth t1_je2hw9i wrote
That last paragraph has to be a bit right? You don't actually believe that crap.
EasternMaine t1_je3h1rk wrote
I would say would confidence that most Mainers don't go to massachusetts to get married. The vast majority of people outside of Portland end up with someone that went to their high school, just like most of rural america.
demalo t1_je4fduf wrote
It sounds cliche, but most people can find someone to love within 50 miles of where they live. It’s not a hard rule, or fair one, but it’s a consistent one.
greenglasstree t1_je6kf8u wrote
This only works if you are the same socioeconomic class, religion, political ideology, ethnic group, and sexual orientation as most people around you.
AGstacker1978 t1_je0lxrr wrote
Wessie’s Den Arcade and pinball bar in Westbrook has a monthly Goth meet up called darkness at the den.
Also they are planning to have speed dating at some point in the near future.
[deleted] OP t1_je0wivb wrote
Interesting, never heard of this place. Thanks.
Delicious_Rabbit4425 t1_je1apul wrote
Right on! Thanks for this tip!
Itchy-Hat-1528 t1_je35nh0 wrote
Do you have to be goth to go to this meetup?
AGstacker1978 t1_je38d9e wrote
Don’t think so. I was in there once and there were quite a few different people there. They have Facebook and Instagram so you can follow them.
DontXpectCompnsation t1_je01ugm wrote
Dating apps are horrible, especially in Maine.
Its advice I'm sure you've heard a million time but just keep doing what you're already doing. Make an effort to hang out with people who share the same interests as you, don't make the primary goal to meet someone, just enjoy yourself with people you like hanging with.
[deleted] OP t1_je0ddmg wrote
Thank you and yeah I've used dating apps for years and for some reason in Maine. Its very rough, I've gotten more matches outside the state of Maine than in the state of Maine for some reason. Yes, I have definitely heard the same thing a million times but I haven't really tried any of the suggestions yet, Video Games is my number 1 hobby. So, I normally stay home and play with my friends. Which makes it hard to meet people.
DontXpectCompnsation t1_je10imm wrote
This is relatable and unfortunately there aren't any gaming cafes in Maine that I know of. Keep games as the #1 but start branching out real slowly. Are you a big nerd? Theres a huge LARP group called Mystwood that meets regularly and they are some amazing people. It'll get you out in a nature and definitely meet some people.
Coffee-FlavoredSweat t1_je1gw4w wrote
Does the quality of people on the apps change depending on which app you use?
A decade ago I knew a girl who used to look for guys on POF and all she ever found were total losers.
I was pretty serious about finding a real relationship, so between Match and eHarmony, I paid for a year subscription to eHarmony. Ended up meeting the person I married within the first 2 months.
MrFittsworth t1_je2i0gk wrote
I met my fiance on tinder. Dating apps aren't that bad if you are mildly socially aware and can engage in anything more than small talk with a stranger
DontXpectCompnsation t1_je53iov wrote
I met my wife of tinder lol. But I don't look back on the swiping with any kind of fondness. I actually had already stopped swiping to preserve my mental health and my now wife messaged me out of the blue after I swiped on her long before she did me.
When it goes well its nice to look back and say its not too bad but I had so many weird, uncomfortable situations before I met my wife. I had a girl try to aggressively to set me up with gay friend because I had a "gay vibe" Or another girl who pretty much opened with a story of her sexual assault. Its out there.
Not to mention my wife and I matched during the pandemic which what when everyone, even "normal" people were on Tinder.
MrFittsworth t1_je55iih wrote
I had a lot of really positive experiences on tinder. I got my dog through a connection where we remained friends. I got a new car because a girl I was seeing at the time had a sibling selling hers cheap. I've wound up in really inexpensive apartments due to parters, and like I said, my fiance.
Tinder is like most things, you get back what you give. Sure there were some awkward days, but typically that happens even at work or just existing anyway. It's not nearly as bad as it seems at face value imo.
eb0livia t1_je6oo46 wrote
This is true for anywhere you meet people, some people are just weird/creepy. when you’re actively going on more dates and only are meeting other people looking for dates statistically speaking, it’s going to happen more frequently. Just make sure you’re using the app like anything else safely, not inviting anyone to your house, meeting anyone in private, or catching a ride with anyone.
eb0livia t1_je2f0yb wrote
I met my partner of 3.5 years on tinder 🤷♀️ to each their own
Jim_stugots t1_je4kqky wrote
Married to a nice women I met on tinder as well. You just gotta keep trying!
curtludwig t1_je216lr wrote
>Its advice I'm sure you've heard a million time but just keep doing what you're already doing.
Doing what you've been doing will keep providing the results you've been getting. If those aren't what you want then you need to try something else...
Edit: Perhaps you meant "keep being who you are" or to put it another way "To thine own self be true". So don't go out and pretend you are something you aren't.
Seyword t1_je0423b wrote
Arcadia. People like anime and games there.
Another option is to get a dog and go on frequent walks where people congregate. Even though I’m married I usually end up talking with other dog owners if I’m walking my pups through a park or something. Dog parks can also be a good place to start up a conversation.
[deleted] OP t1_je0e8fc wrote
Thank you for your suggestion, I'm not into going to Bars but I love arcades like Round 1. I've heard Arcadia is a cool place to go, I don't go to Portland often. I'm more of a cat person.
montel555 t1_je0mm62 wrote
Look man, if you don’t give new things a try, things aren’t going to change. Seems like you’re shooting down everything that’s out of your current comfort zone. But your comfort zone isn’t giving you what you want.
If you’re not willing to go to a social place with friendly people with interests that match yours, I really don’t know what to tell you.
[deleted] OP t1_je0wlf7 wrote
Fair point
mtb-dude-man t1_je02bsb wrote
Honestly, do shared hobbies in clubs where there will be single women, and don’t be too weird if the vibe isn’t right. A lot of anime / table game hobbies usually have women that are taken, because their boyfriends/husbands get them interested in it.
A lot of Women move to / live in Maine to do hiking, biking, Skiing (AT/XC), other light active sports, etc socially to maintain relationships. When I’m out on the trails, it’s usually a large group of women with 1-2 dudes. I hardly ever see a group of chads broing out unless it’s at a mountain bike park.
A lot of Men move to / live in Maine for isolation. Ice fishing, hunting, ATVing, things that require low social interaction. This is a growing problem, because it impacts how people interact in towns and cities. As their social skills deteriorate, they don’t question their incompatibility with others but question others inability to align with the man’s needs.
That type of clash will always leave each sex thinking “why can’t I find a partner?” If women are only swiping through camo wearing fish pics or men wearing all black with katanas.
[deleted] OP t1_je0dtt0 wrote
Thank you for you suggestion, unfortunately I am not into skiing and or hiking. My hobbies/interests are almost all indoor activities. Which makes it hard for me to meet people. It seems like Maine mostly has outdoor activities and that is what its known for. You sound mostly correct about the dynamic going on in Maine besides Southern Maine.
Sylentskye t1_je142hn wrote
If your existing hobbies aren’t helping you, try expanding and doing something new. Go take some evening courses or art workshops, for example. Or join a book club. Or learn how to dye yarn and crochet/knit. Volunteer for local food pantries or non-profits.
braisedlobster t1_je0xmkt wrote
It might be worth looking into discord communities for the games you like to play! I haven’t poked around much but maybe there’s a Maine gamers server or something that you could connect with people on that have common ground with you
[deleted] OP t1_je0yesq wrote
Interesting, thank you for letting me know. I will look into this.
ztriple3 t1_je0mzd1 wrote
Volunteer your time to non profits whose work interests you to expand your social network
blainemoore t1_je10ogz wrote
I met my wife through running; you don't seem interested in that so I don't have a lot else to suggest that hasn't already been shot down.
As mentioned, Maine is an outdoors kinda place; most of the singles I've met have been out in group runs. Make friends, meet their friends, hopefully one will be cute and single and interested.
Poopy_McPoop_Face t1_je2ib0s wrote
I've been thinking about giving this a try. Not just to find a romantic partner, but also for the active community aspect. Are there any open running groups you'd suggest?
blainemoore t1_je2kcnw wrote
There are a lot, depending where you live.
If you are midcoast to southern Maine, the Maine Track Club has regular runs and is the largest club in the state.
If you are fast, Dirigo has weekly runs. You do need to run fast enough to meet standards to join.
If you enjoy trails, Trail Monster Running usually has at least two group runs a week. Anybody is welcome to join TMR runs even if they aren't a member. Runs vary in location.
From the end of May through the end of August, the Weekly Back Cove 5k Series in Portland is every Wednesday night at 6pm. You pay once whether you run one race or all 14 (so keep your bib) and it's a good size crowd without being so huge you get lost, 150-250/wk. (Disclaimer: I'm one of the race directors for the series.)
Those are the groups in most involved with. There are others, you can search the rrca.org website for other clubs in the state, especially if you aren't in the Portland area. Crow Athletics, Thick Quad Squad, Eden Athletics, I know Portland has a regular Pub Run group, and I think Bangor might too?
Poopy_McPoop_Face t1_je30o6w wrote
Thanks for these ideas! I should have specified that I'm in the Portland area, but willing to drive a bit. I'll likely start checking out these groups this summer and see how it goes.
blainemoore t1_je31qfr wrote
I used to live in Portland; other than the back cove series I don't get there too often anymore.
My recommendations:
- Join the TMR email list, every Wednesday am email goes out with anything trail related for the next week (runs, races, challenges, etc.) There's a Facebook group as well, but the email has more regular info about upcoming runs.
- Join the MTC Facebook group. There's an email list too, but more ad hoc runs are organized through Facebook and it's a good spot to ask.
- Sign up for back cove... Not that I'm biased about that one... :)
I've heard good things about the pub runs if that is your thing, but they started after I left town and I haven't joined them.
Fleet Feet on marginal way is also a great resource; they have a paid run club and training programs for specific races that's another great resource for meeting people regularly. I used to help coach their program back when it was still Maine Running Company (stopped coaching almost a decade ago) but I'm still in touch with them regularly through the back cove series.
Antnee83 t1_je03xle wrote
I really have nothing to add as a happily married dude, but just to say that I really feel for people that have to deal with the whole dating app scene. From an outsider looking in, it looks awful and I would have no clue how to navigate it.
[deleted] OP t1_je0ec0p wrote
I appreciate your support, thank you. Its rough in 2023.
Successful_Border321 t1_je0tqf6 wrote
Its always been rough for folks unwilling to analyze their own behavior and make a change.
[deleted] OP t1_je0wgh0 wrote
Fair point
DidDunMegasploded t1_je0xftq wrote
I had a roomie who tried out Tinder. Got 3 boyfriends, all of them either cheated on her or dumped her, and then one day she magically up and declared to me that she was bisexual now because "women are better than men, they won't cheat on you".
I didn't have the heart to tell her. I really didn't. Last I heard she went to college in Florida and got a boyfriend (jury's out on whether she did it through a dating site or not) but who knows what happened to him.
Antnee83 t1_je0yvx4 wrote
Yeah I can't speak to the quality of people you meet. I met my wife (10... 11?) years ago on OKCupid. Completely different world now.
Casually looking at the stuff that gets posted to r/tinder, it seems like you have to walk such a ridiculous tightrope right out of the gate. Some people want straight sexting right away, some people don't, and all of them want just the most bangin original pickup lines...
Seems exhausting.
Murky-Appearance5071 t1_je1hf7h wrote
I met my bf on tinder and we've been together for a few years. I think it depends on what you put out for info. I was pretty adamant I was looking for serious and then went on a few different dates until I found my bf. However being a woman it's much easier to get men on tinder than vice versa
DoodGuyBub t1_je0e7to wrote
Family reunions
Itchy-Hat-1528 t1_je36e53 wrote
Yessah. Where the family tree is a phone pole.
metalandmeeples t1_je0ggwp wrote
It's crazy that "Hot or Not" evolved into modern dating once smartphones became mainstream.
Dizzyluffy t1_je0orjm wrote
Let’s just hope the “Rate my Poo” formula doesn’t also make a resurgence lol
Gullivors-Travails t1_je0tpw8 wrote
Do what you love and you will find them there. You seem a little picky to try something new outside your comfort zone.
Slimslade33 t1_je399a4 wrote
I've been doing what I love my entire life... Where they at??
[deleted] OP t1_je0wo8j wrote
You are 100% correct.
Ok_Olive9438 t1_je0x2xg wrote
If you like the cozy indoor life, get to your local library, volunteer, get to know the librarians. They know who likes to stay in to read, and might even know who might be single. And even if they don't, libraries are excellent places to be, and many could use a helping hand. Maybe start a book club or movie night for mud season, when even the most avid hikers tend to take a break.
cepheus42 t1_je03li5 wrote
Is the Meetup app still a thing, or has that died away? I met my wife through hiking. A friend I know from work met her on hikes and kayaking trips using Meetup and introduced us on another hike.
mtb-dude-man t1_je03wia wrote
Facebook groups largely overtook that market
cepheus42 t1_je08arp wrote
Fucking Facebook. Should have know. It's ruined more good shit than it ever created.
[deleted] OP t1_je0dzyu wrote
Thank you, I've looked into meet up and was thinking about it but haven't found a group I'm interested in joining then. I haven't looked into Facebook groups at all.
curtludwig t1_je20ybv wrote
Reddit is full of "I stay home all the time but find it hard to meet people, why is that?"
You gotta get out to places where people might actually be. Look for clubs or other activity groups in your area.
I like board gaming. Back when I traveled a lot for work I'd search the city I was in to find their local board gaming group. 70% or better of the cities I went to had one that was meeting when I was there. Usually in a restaurant or library. Meet up, play some games, meet some people, it was fun. I made some friends who I've kept up with for years now.
Volunteering is a good way to meet people too, the library is always looking for volunteers.
Join a charitable organization. A friend of mine is in the Lions club, they raise money for lots of different charities. I helped with one of their fund raisers and met a whole bunch of people. It can be a good way to meet folks in your town...
LibriBot t1_je2g2ci wrote
If you know or work with well-meaning older ladies, let them know that you are looking to find a nice girl. Older ladies love to play at matchmaking and can usually find you a daughter, granddaughter, niece, friend of someone from church, etc. who would be perfect for you. It worked out for both of my male cousins who are both very shy.
Itchy-Hat-1528 t1_je36vc3 wrote
Or forget the girl and go with the older ladies.
HAMMERMAIN73 t1_je0pifp wrote
Love that you bring up the third place I'm going to explain for others as a way of also answering you.
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg classified social spaces into an ordinal system. The First Place is the home, the Second is the workplace, the Third Place is a place of socializing and human connection. Rather than leave an exhaustive comment I'd recommend checking out the wikipedia page. Note the barriers to our generation in accessing a 3rd Place compared with age groups from other times. Capitalism in it's relentless drive to seek profit has commodified and in the process destroyed many Third Spaces of the past, the famous example being The Mall of the 90's (the same Mall which was already a commercial space). They have become too expensive or alienating in other ways. One particular strain comes from the culture and very person-hood of the young being split between reality (semi-ironically called 'meatspace') and cyberspaces like this. This space we share now is on the one hand more engaging and accessible then reality but is itself fraught with problems which often lead to shallow and/or dead end relationships or community which is insufficient compared to old models. The last 20 years have tested the corporate aspirations of Sony in its bid to claim cyberspace as the new Third Place and found it to be mostly a failure. Relationships sex and even friendships have continued to decline as depression has risen. In a context of mass alienation people like me have found meaning and community alongside others who understand these challenges by waging coordinated struggle against such forces. You may avoid such a confrontation but you will not avoid these barriers. The barriers I refer to are not impregnable, this is part of their design and function. Still, do not be shocked when you look at yourself in a few years and realize you are still outside.
[deleted] OP t1_je0q5bc wrote
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MikeLowrey305 t1_je14g2o wrote
What about people in their 40's? LOL
houndshmix t1_je1qfh9 wrote
Through friends and mutual acquaintances.
TheFangjangler t1_je0v5dy wrote
I found my wife on an online dating site. I lived alone on an island and she lived alone on a farm. Worked out for us!
PencillCat t1_je0fi4p wrote
I don't have much advice other than you're not alone in this struggle. Even finding friends is hard. I work from home, and most of my interests and hobbies are either indoors or niche, so it's a massive struggle to meet people in our age range with the same interests.
mykabelle t1_je0j5tt wrote
In bangor there’s a video game store that has weekly events game citadel it’s called
[deleted] OP t1_je0wxxd wrote
Neat, I have never heard of this place. Thanks.
mykabelle t1_je12m29 wrote
They have D&D, video game nights and maybe even anime nights
Cockatiel_Animations t1_je0r5lz wrote
I have been there a couple times, but somehow didn't know they had video games.
Pinatadeity t1_je1fbyy wrote
In my experience... They meet each other in the past. My wife is someone I met in college and only dated years later. That said, we never would have dated if we hadn't already met.
Dazzling-Love3733 t1_je1giwn wrote
I'm dating my sock
mushlilli t1_je1rlhl wrote
Volunteer. You meet people, you help people, you gain confidence in yourself from helping others. Some of the best people I’ve met have been through helping others. Look at it less as trying to meet other people and more as working on yourself.
Also become a regular somewhere. Coffee shop, bookstore, etc. become known as a friendly person and you will run into other friendly people. I personally rely on bookstores and gardening to meet other people. Both are non-threatening environments that people are usually open to having conversations in.
MainelyKahnt t1_je0ryc8 wrote
Enroll in local educational opportunities that interest you (usually towns mail out flyers periodically with the info). Volunteer your time at charitable organizations. Depending on your industry you could look into chamber of commerce events (Bangor has a chamber offshoot that caters specifically to young professionals and has periodic social events and recreational sports leagues). Look into the eSports scene as there are a few local organizations trying to get off the ground. Start going to local tcg shops for events that interest you (DnD, Warhammer, MTG, etc..)
Cockatiel_Animations t1_je0t0vb wrote
I can't seem to get any luck in Maine either. I was with a guy from Mass for two months, but me being the shy introvert I am broke it off because I barely knew the guy and all he wanted was sex even though I told him I was still very uncomfortable.
Dating apps only ever get me people from out of state, and I am not willing to drive that far for someone who I may or may not like.
[deleted] OP t1_je0wv0t wrote
I completely understand, I got more matches outside the state of Maine. (For whatever reason).
hikerguy555 t1_je0zp9c wrote
Board game stores will often have regular events. Often it's playing specific board games, but I think there's sometimes some overlap more into the anime and video game realm. Specifically, I'm thinking of Diversions in Portland and Gamebox in Topsham, but I imagine it's a thing at other stores too
MaineBlonde t1_je13of0 wrote
Met my husband on Hinge in the middle of the pandemic. Don't let anyone tell you dating apps can't work.
z-eldapin t1_je1apyk wrote
I recently was told that there is a pinball bar and a video game bar in the Saco area. Haven't been yet but when I do check them out I will let you know!
GreboGuru t1_je1k5iv wrote
The one in Portland (Arcadia) is pretty cool, Trivia night on Thursdays!
ChronosVthousand t1_je2h0ya wrote
It's Silverball or something like that. I myself have been thinking about going there after work.
z-eldapin t1_je2lr01 wrote
I think you're right!
ComplexLeather986 t1_je2gsif wrote
Haven’t been to the new location on Congress in Portland but the old Arcadia, or “Barcadia”, was rad. I know you’re not into the bar scene but it’s a “bar” (former venue now) filled with tonnns of video games. From the earliest to the newest.
Someone correct me if the new spot isn’t representing the old spot, but I used to love that place.
nicoleeoliee t1_je2q1z2 wrote
Seconding this - can’t speak to the congress st location but the old spot was fantastic and they regularly host events/game nights/tournaments
Karen_Moody t1_je57lsg wrote
It's legit. The new space doesn't have the cramped charm that version 1.0 had, but it's still a cool spot where us live nerds get our drink and game on.
GarBagE_PaIL-FaiL t1_je2vzh4 wrote
Best advice I can give you is to try dating apps that make you pay. Not trying to be elitist in the slightest bit, but I have a handful of friends who successfully met their spouses on Eharmony.
bamboobable t1_je4mxws wrote
Doesn't help that Maine is basically a retirement community, young people have very little reason to stay there and there's only one decently urban city (Portland). I got 5 matches in 2 days while in Vermont vs like 2 in 6 months in Maine
clickinforchickens t1_je4n68z wrote
Where about a in Maine are you? In downtown Bangor there’s the Queen City Cinema Club, sounds like a place you’d enjoy. Board games, movies, video games, and nice nerdy people. I’m in my mid 20s and I agree, the social scene for our age group, especially if you’re introverted, is very challenging. I asked around about community spaces and a lot of people recommended church..
[deleted] OP t1_je053p2 wrote
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Eccentrically_loaded t1_je0rugx wrote
My wife and I found each other at a contra dance.
Ya just never know.
satanshark t1_je0x7bh wrote
Well, that's where you messed up, son, you can't go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place, a quiet place like a library, there's good women there; and 'erm, church, they're good girls. Or this place here, where I'm going tonight. The Black Awareness Rally. There's going to be some fine women there. Good, clean girls. That's where I'm going, shit.
anyodan8675 t1_je0znek wrote
At work or at church is how most people in rural Maine hook up. The old port in Portland has plenty of options for bars. They are not all meat markets.
[deleted] OP t1_je1edlx wrote
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Proteaceae t1_je1nx5p wrote
I really struggled in Portland as an early 20-something. Bars and clubs were places I would go with my friends and not really where I was in the space to find someone.
I was on the apps a lot but extremely picky about actually meeting up with people; there were a lot of frogs to sift through! I literally went on one app date ever, when I was 24, from Hinge, and we’ve now been together for over 6 years and married for a year and a half.
I’m sorry I don’t have any useful advice, but I will say it’s possible. But it sucks until you get there. The best way I can describe it is that the dating pool in Maine is very shallow: decent size with lots of options, but very few that are viable and right for any one person.
prehistoricdragon t1_je22q4l wrote
Have you tried using MeetUp? That's how we meet people whe. We first moved here. There's a surprisingly large number of active groups on there.
Ayuh-Nope t1_je271kq wrote
College hookups. And, if that doesn't work, a different state where she thinks your Maine accent is "cute."
PositiveInevitable39 t1_je293m0 wrote
Free lessons on Canoe dating -Friday night at the Old Town factory
katesheppard t1_je2d1ke wrote
If you live close to Portland, and you are up for volunteering, check out Mayo street arts. They often use volunteers to help with (evening/weekend) events. I am involved there, and I can say, it’s a lot of nerds - of the best kind. No intimidating art types there. Even if you are not interested in puppets, the adult humor puppet happy hour and puppet slam also had nerds and anime types. I can’t vouch for anyone’s gender preference, but I can promise you nerd types.
Sweet_Ad_4093 t1_je3im2b wrote
Redemption center, plasma center, and Micucci’s secret back room around noon.
Away-Reaction6061 t1_je3mpu8 wrote
Just wait till my mother drags my sister to the store to shop. My sister should be able to drive herself but won't. My mother everytime she sees another guy she will do everything she can to embarrass my sister.
ymmotvomit t1_je4jdst wrote
Personally? I’d volunteer at a worthy non-profit. You’ll meet other quality volunteers. Win-win
fontinaliscoaster t1_je4xj3o wrote
They meet in the middle, beneath that big Georgia pine.
flampadoodle t1_je6b9ip wrote
Community theater? If you aren't into acting, you can help backstage with set building, costume making, props. Or just join as stage crew to help change sets during the show.
Have you tried trivia night at bars? It's a very different atmosphere from regular bar nights. Go with friends, become a regular, and meet other groups of regulars. Your movie/music interests might make you good at trivia!
Kangabolic t1_je6f2pe wrote
The internet
ZingZongZaddy t1_je0sh5s wrote
As soon as you take the pressure off of yourself to find someone things have a way of working themselves out.
4low4low4low4low t1_je0zyim wrote
Myrtle street
AdmiralWackbar t1_je1xo69 wrote
I was told to find my wife before I graduated UMaine
Oniriggers t1_je2uxhx wrote
Bars. I’m hoping they allow for cannabis lounges, that will help with meeting people.
Frankiedafuter t1_je3403w wrote
I guess in Maine…
ckennedy0783 t1_je38jgf wrote
At the family reunion...
Sweet_Ad_4093 t1_je3itgg wrote
Oh, and once I met a guy while circling the Trader Joe’s parking lot waiting for a space to open.
Jeff_Albertson t1_je143mi wrote
Hard sayin' not knowin'
AlvisPelvis t1_je1m7np wrote
You butchered it.
FunkCrusader_ t1_je4ho1x wrote
Mainer men like to complain about the lack of women in our state. My wife is my best friend, smokin hot and grew up in Northeast Harbor. If I didn’t have her I wouldn’t have trouble meeting women. If you see a woman eyeballing you: introduce yourself, charm her for a couple minutes, and get her phone number. Make sure you have a business card to give her your number. Women in Maine do not like being broke in the winter. That card shows you have your stuff together. D&D is fine, my teenage boys love it! Some more adult hobbies will help though. We have a camper and freshwater fishing boat. I also take my girl to several rock concerts throughout each year. And stay out of the bars. That’s where losers hang out in this state.
greenglasstree t1_je0fj37 wrote
Mainers who are 18-35 generally move to Massachusetts to hookup, find relationships, and eventually marry. When they are ready to spawn they swim back to Maine and then lay eggs.
Also, I have many friends with interests similar to yours, and you gotta understand this: it will be inherently hard for straight men who like anime and video games to find a gf and it will be inherently easy for straight women who like the same things to find a bf due to gender demographics of these hobbies.
If you want to find a mate, keep your current hobbies, but *add new hobbies*, especially ones that are mostly done by straight women. For example: fashion, sewing, cosplay, knitting, crocheting, equestrian, animal rescue.