TIFU by going on the worst date (& almost ending up in bed with a hooker)

Submitted by cheeryglitter26 t3_125r6x9 in tifu

So, this all happened last night and I'm still trying to process it. I met this guy, let's call him "Chad," on a dating app a few weeks ago. We've been chatting and he seemed nice enough, so we decided to go on a date. Little did I know how much of a disaster it would turn out to be.

Chad and I agreed to meet at this trendy sushi place downtown. He showed up a few minutes late, looking like he just rolled out of bed, in a wrinkled shirt and sweatpants (strike one). But, I tried to look past that and give him a chance. We sat down and started chatting, and he began to show off by ordering a bunch of expensive sushi rolls that neither of us could pronounce. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I played along because I didn't want to be rude.

As the night went on, Chad started to get more obnoxious. He told me about his "successful" startup and kept hinting that he had loads of money. I'm not the type to be impressed by that kind of thing, so I tried to steer the conversation towards more interesting topics. However, Chad just wouldn't let it go.

Finally, we finished dinner and Chad suggested we go back to his place for a nightcap. I wasn't super into the idea, but I thought, "What the hell? Maybe he'll be better in a more relaxed setting." Boy, was I wrong.

We got to his apartment, which was honestly pretty nice, but it didn't take long for things to get weird. As soon as we walked in, Chad said he had a "surprise" for me. I nervously laughed it off, thinking he was joking. But then, he led me into his bedroom, and there she was – a HOOKER, lying on his bed, dressed in lingerie and looking like she was expecting us.

I froze, completely shocked and confused. Chad, with a smug grin on his face, said that he wanted to try "spicing things up". My god.

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe this guy actually thought I would be into this. I mean, I'm all for open-mindedness, but this was definitely NOT what I signed up for.

The poor woman on the bed looked just as uncomfortable as I did. We exchanged awkward glances and I could tell she wanted out just as much as I did. I turned to Chad and told him, in no uncertain terms, that this was NOT happening and that I was leaving immediately. He tried to play it off like it was just a joke, but it was pretty clear he was dead serious.

I grabbed my purse and hightailed it out of there, leaving Chad and the hooker behind. I felt terrible for her, but I just couldn't deal with the situation any longer.

So, that's my TIFU story. I thought I was going on a normal date, but instead, I ended up in an awkward, horrifying situation that I'll probably never forget. I'm definitely going to be more careful when using dating apps from now on. FML.

TL;DR: Went on a date with a guy who thought it would be a good idea to surprise me with a hooker in his bed after dinner. Ended up leaving in shock and embarrassment.

1,236

Comments

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Ragnarotico t1_je5p8p6 wrote

This Chad must be a really good looking guy. I can't imagine showing up to a date late, with dog shit appearance and in literal sweatpants, spend the entire time being obnoxious and talking about myself and still have a girl want to come back to my apartment afterwards.

Edit: not just any date, but a FIRST date. And also this Chad paid for a hooker to wait for him in his apartment for hours while he was on this date... so that when he came back he could have a threesome.

gif

2,700

AmbienNicoleSmith t1_je5u3n9 wrote

I think the use of “Chad” as the example name gave it away.

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binkies03 t1_je6mqo7 wrote

It's not like his name was Giga. I see no issues

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IGetHighAndAdoptDogs t1_je7hmuj wrote

When you try to set up a 3 way, with a hooker, on a first date…

I think the Giga is implied.

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DaveJC_thevoices t1_je7huiy wrote

speaking of names, just want to upvote all your comments because of your username alone. That is one of the best puns i've ever laid eyes on.

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LegendaryRed t1_je68qbl wrote

That's because this is just someone's imagination for karma

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MrMinigrow t1_je6gvmq wrote

As are 99% of the posts on here and on r/amitheasshole. I keep telling myself I'll unfollow these subs but some of the stories are very amusing

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PlsNope t1_je6pk8l wrote

This sub is even worse AITA. Half of the posts here are weird fetish stuff or bizarre sex fantasies.

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Mimogger t1_je7ff19 wrote

just get banned by a 12 year old moderator and you're good

11

TheApocalyticOne t1_je6ad84 wrote

You underestimate how much people ignore when someone is hot

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Tacitus_AMP t1_je6wwgn wrote

That's the life pro tip here: date ugly people. Everything hinges on their personalities.

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PyrocumulusLightning t1_je7oprb wrote

Hot guys usually suck in bed anyway. Nerds put the effort in

When two hot people try to hook up, do they both just lie there waiting for the other person to do all the work?

OMG, that's what the hooker was for!

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pravis t1_je76crv wrote

Sounds like they read the post from the other day about a date almost turning into a threesome when the guy had a surprise girl waiting in the bedroom.

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BadDogEDN t1_je5qo6u wrote

It's ok he was at least 6'6" 😆 I'm sure if he had a white van she would at least given him the benefit of the doubt /s

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avt1983 t1_je6jusy wrote

Why didn’t he just get two hookers

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Onespokeovertheline t1_je78tqz wrote

He's bored of doing that. He was spicing up his routine by adding a "deep emotional connection" with OP

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Redhook420 t1_je6qkjw wrote

And this is how we know this is a made up post. A real hooker would have called her pimp up robbed his place while he was gone.

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beyonddisbelief t1_je79swy wrote

All the strikes and she still went home with him, Chad must be quite the looker. No wonder none of us regular Joes are getting matches on apps.

But how did the OP determine the other woman was a hooker as opposed to another date he double booked with before their date and just got out of bed from? If he looked that good that random threesomes seems like a normal thing to him, like Samantha Jones’ vacation neighbor in the SATC movie, he’s probably not paying for sex.

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ViolatorOfVirgins t1_je7cndq wrote

whatever you all say about him, he did dream high. i'd be dreaming about the lonely bj somewhere behind the bin, but he planned the proper threesome.

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Avaragan t1_je7gpaa wrote

Or how depressing it is that people can’t say no to situations they aren’t comfortable with.

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nottom420 t1_je5phr1 wrote

This reads like AI generated karma farming

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Frozen_Bart t1_je5w2hu wrote

This sounds like a story from like a day or two ago with almost the same plot, I just don't remember the sushi.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_je61ep1 wrote

I agree, I remember a version of this story. I think it might have been on r/twoxchromosomes

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authenticsmoothjazz t1_je650u5 wrote

Yeah, it's this one

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/124y3fg/how_come_you_didnt_wear_one_of_those_skirts_from

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CassYavoo t1_je65z1f wrote

It's nothing like that story. Did you link the wrong one?

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Sugarbean29 t1_je6amf6 wrote

It was probably meant to be this one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/124mzey/guy_sets_up_date_arrive_to_surprise_threesome_or/

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cyankitten t1_je71pbc wrote

Yep. I IMMEDIATELY thought of that. I HOPE OP is not telling the truth, it’s scary to think of ONE guy doing this let alone two! I did have someone try it but fortunately he told me on the phone so I noped out of that. I’m SO glad it didn’t get to the point of going back and seeing her.

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Drink_in_Philly t1_je6p4a6 wrote

I thought the same but the profile seems legit. I feel like if someone told me 50% of all long text reddit posts were from the same ai chatbot I would not be shocked, something makes all text sort of sound similar here. I have to fight my cynicism all the time. Especially the TIFU posts, they all sound like a template is used.

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Unfair_Ability3977 t1_je7304a wrote

I ended up writing it off as their writing "voice," but their posts are odd. They never address a person directly, just the subject of the discussion.

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KoolKev1 t1_je7o0rz wrote

I'm starting to pick up on these too. If the punctuation is absolutely perfect and the sentences are written in perfect English it is probably AI written.

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CreepyEntertainer t1_je5gmeu wrote

Have to wonder if he was having sex with her before he showed up to the date.

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mbub16 t1_je5zcu9 wrote

I have a feeling you may be 100% correct.

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DionFW t1_je6it1w wrote

It's like when you tell a cab to keep the meter running when you run into a store.

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Okilurknomore t1_je5sxqt wrote

Having a terrible date with a slob in public? Maybe going back to his place will be better? Is this a serious thought process that a real life person had??

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Bedbouncer t1_je6dom1 wrote

>But, I tried to look past that and give him a chance
>
>but I played along because I didn't want to be rude.
>
>I wasn't super into the idea, but I thought, "What the hell?

"i didn't really want a threesome with a random prostitute, but I was like I've come this far already, maybe it will help him relax...."

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SilasDG t1_je6xxcs wrote

>I'm not the type to be impressed by that kind of thing

Doubt.

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cyankitten t1_je71u2y wrote

A lot of women and girls ARE SUPER conditioned into “mustn’t be rude” yes it’s a thing.

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Cl0udSurfer t1_je73dm1 wrote

Thats still a far throw from going back to a guys place on a first date when you already werent really feeling it. That just seems dumb and dangerous in my opinion

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cyankitten t1_je73qox wrote

Yes. You are right. I was going to say maybe they thought something would change. I wouldn’t have done it. For eg I had a date so boring once I literally DID consider running away out the bathroom (of the pub!) window. And he said “they have hotel rooms here” and I just thought NO WAY.

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nightowl_i t1_je648zi wrote

Ikr, why would anyone hope the person will get "better" on a first date ! He must be really good looking or OP just wanted to see how rich he is.....

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Howie_Due t1_je60rb4 wrote

This is pretty unbelievable. How would a sex worker have access to his apartment for 2+ hours in advance? And on top of that agree to sit around and wait? I’m calling BS

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insomniahag t1_je66flq wrote

It's copied from a twoxchromosomes post from yesterday. It's almost the exact same story, except in the original the woman waiting back in the room was not a sex worker.

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Howie_Due t1_je66o5d wrote

Damn, bots are really fucking up reddit more and more lately.

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brokenthumb11 t1_je63r5f wrote

And on top of that, look like she was feeling uncomfortable? That's what she does for a living. Total BS.

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TravisJungroth t1_je7a86h wrote

Sex workers are still people and can be visibly uncomfortable. A surprise threesome where the other person is obviously not into would easily be a weird situation. I also think this story was BS but that was one of the most believable parts.

I mean, I’m a software engineer and I’d probably look visibly uncomfortable in a meeting if one of the clients didn’t seem into it.

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sharkeat t1_je5l08s wrote

If he wanted to try “spicing things up” are you positive that was a hooker and not a current partner of his. Otherwise how can you spice up something that hasn’t happened yet.

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bigjaymck t1_je6i7v7 wrote

I was thinking the same thing. If he's single, it would have been more cost effective to hire two hookers for a threesome rather than paying that one for an extra hour or two to wait while you go on a date, try and get her back to your apartment, and then try to talk her into it. If they're hookers, just get two and take care of business.

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sharkeat t1_je6q5eu wrote

I don’t know the accounting on hookers, but I do know that it would not be wise to leave one alone in your apartment for 2 hours.

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budispro t1_je5rbma wrote

Damn this the second Reddit post I’ve read this week about guy surprising his date w/ a threesome lol

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silkruins t1_je5tzpq wrote

Same. I don't know if this is just a coincidence or something else.

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ImDirkDiggler t1_je5mi6n wrote

I’m sure Chads money has no influence on you going home with him even after the date went horrible jerk off motion

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PlsNope t1_je6mpud wrote

Incel fanfiction. "Chad" shows up wearing sweatpants and setting off nothing but red flags the entire date and this "woman" still goes home with him anyways to presumably initiate sex sometime later. Also this sex worker was just sitting there the entire date just waiting? Was she on the clock then?

Sure, buddy, time to log off the library computer.

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culturedgoat t1_je7on9n wrote

I thought it was sus when they mentioned he ordered “a bunch of expensive sushi rolls that neither of us could pronounce”. Sushi rolls are a western modification of sushi (they’re referred to as “California rolls” in Japan). They don’t have difficult names. Even if they refer to the ingredients by their Japanese names (“ikura”, “maguro”, etc.), nothing is hard to pronounce.

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KasukeSadiki t1_je63aoh wrote

Inspired by a recent post on Two X-Chromosomes methinks

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PseudoKirby t1_je5ztqe wrote

someone splain me how this "hooker" got into his apartment before he and her showed up?

what if it was just his sister?

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fliguana t1_je5fdxq wrote

You were his plan A.

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garry4321 t1_je5lzfl wrote

I moreso got the feeling that the HOOKER was plan A since no one actually ends up going home with him, and the real suprise was that someone actually said yes. Then he had a conundrum of having his Hooker ready after expecting the usual rejection, and having to try and explain the situation to OP who was the unicorn who said yes.

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rdrunner_74 t1_je5vbgx wrote

Hookers on standby in your place while you are out and dining is risky... and expensive

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SilverandCold1x t1_je70axm wrote

Man, why do people gotta make shit up for karma? I’m sure you have at least one true story that’s good enough.

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Indy997 t1_je70iyu wrote

Never go in the house on the first date :)

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cyankitten t1_je734nt wrote

⬆️ That is an EXCELLENT rule to follow, people

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Gavica t1_je6ma1s wrote

Things that didn’t happen for $100 Alex

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TuckerCarlsonsOhface t1_je6tpke wrote

Yeah, because the natural reaction to a terrible date asking to back to his place is to accept the offer.

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pixel293 t1_je6ejgb wrote

I'm finding this all hard to believe. How did you know she was a hooker? Would someone really leave a hooker in their "nice" apartment while they go out on a date? How exactly do you try to impress your date by ordering expensive stuff you can't pronounce?

Sorry about the stereotyping, my guess is a hooker would be as reliable as leaving a random stranger in your house when you go out for an unspecified amount of time. I guess if he knew this hooker really well there wouldn't be that risk.

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culturedgoat t1_je7pd01 wrote

How could anyone find the names of sushi rolls hard to pronounce?

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pilsrups t1_je6y0tg wrote

Please implement a rule where you leave on strike one immediately

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speculatrix t1_je5i580 wrote

The big question is, did Chad pay his share of the restaurant bill? That sushi sounded expensive.

Only a bit /s

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notaliberal2021 t1_je5sxx5 wrote

How could he want to spice things up that had not even happened yet to go unspiced. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he?

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whatproblems t1_je61r6s wrote

spicing things up with a hooker on the first date? what?

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newpinkbunnyslippers t1_je6aw5z wrote

I could maybe get it if this was a complete stranger, but you'd been chatting for a while.
Like, what kind of vibes are you putting out that made him think you'd go for this?

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i_despise_among_us t1_je6g5qg wrote

Damn you really got chat gpt workin overtime on this one huh

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0x474f44 t1_je6p8s6 wrote

I’m fairly certain ChatGPT wouldn’t have written a story about a woman not liking the date but going back to his place regardless

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OccamsPlasticSpork t1_je6i8vy wrote

Is the OP a man or woman? This sounds like it was written by a dude, which would actually make the story better.

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Asylum308 t1_je6k2z9 wrote

What was Chads view on Huey Lewis and the news ?

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Demonic_Toaster t1_je6n1vn wrote

Isnt this a repost of some girl going on a tinder date with a guy and he tries to surprise gangbang on her? i could have sworn i read this yesterday.

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cyankitten t1_je72uob wrote

No, he tried the surprise other woman and THEN when she was not happy and noped out, over text he suggested a gangbang. (The one you read yesterday)

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ElDeguello66 t1_je6o2b8 wrote

I have to return some videotapes

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logri t1_je6pf7f wrote

So wait... was she just alone in his apartment the entire time? That is absolutely unhinged.

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Old-Fox-3027 t1_je6r1bh wrote

Trendy sushi restaurant? Is this from the early 90’s?

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Jtw981 t1_je705wx wrote

Vaguely similar to a post I read yesterday about a guy who invited a girl over for a surprise threesome...

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capta1npryce t1_je7o2is wrote

Real American Psycho vibes coming from this one.

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kosmonautinVT t1_je5slb3 wrote

Goddamn

Can a person develop the confidence to setup a hooker back at ones apartment for a first date while wearing sweats -- or do you have to be born with it?

On the plus side you have a "first date story" that you can probably carry with you for the rest of your life without topping

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[deleted] t1_je65csm wrote

[deleted]

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tool1992x2 t1_je69xhj wrote

It's a bad ripoff of a recent post from r/twoxchromosomes

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0x474f44 t1_je6peio wrote

Hm? The story in no way makes the prostitute or sex work in general look bad

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SergeantBLAMmo t1_je65t1l wrote

Don't just look at it: eat iiiit 💪🪓🪓🪓

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Dizsmo t1_je69rj3 wrote

Don't feel bad for the hooker,they could have been working at Walmart like anybody else

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Notonmybingocard2022 t1_je6baxp wrote

It's like that scene in Taxi Driver where Bickle takes his date to a movie and to her shock it was a porno...except this is so much worse.

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AnotherRandomHero t1_je6fn57 wrote

I really want the retelling of this from the hookers perspective. This is probably comedic gold

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JoeErving t1_je6lb30 wrote

Is this like a common thing now...?

This is the second post I have seen today about going on a date and having a surprise threesome planned at home.

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pokekyo12 t1_je6pm84 wrote

How could that ever be a joke when he had clearly ordered a hooker, arranged her to wait at his place while he went on his date ?

2

herrbdog t1_je6z8vm wrote

i hope the poor escort is okay

chad sounds creepy

"Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it"

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Crazy_Gremlin t1_je723h9 wrote

I don’t think you fucked up, the world just decided to sprinkle some shit onto your fortune. Also, sorry that happened to you. I hope your day is better.

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SuperRusso t1_je7m2a6 wrote

If this is real then you're not too very bright...

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NorCalAthlete t1_je7p0ti wrote

I swear I just read this story on 2X from someone else…

EDIT

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Anon419420 t1_je7r94a wrote

This dude must’ve been drop dead gorgeous, or this is complete BS. And honestly, I’d believe either.

2

Mr007McDiddles t1_je5slpi wrote

Omit everything after paragraph 5 and write your own ending here:

1

thr0aty0gurt t1_je675df wrote

Dude must be really good looking for you to go back to his place after as shitty of a date he was.

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elbandidoP t1_je69pg1 wrote

Patrick (Chad) Bateman: that's a very expensive glass of Chardonnay you're NOT drinking there. It isn't poisoned.

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MJ50inMD t1_je6c267 wrote

I wonder if he didn't expect you to come back when he set it up, then rolled with it when you did. Bizarre.

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quezlar t1_je6e2ik wrote

sounds like american psycho

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Murfiano t1_je6sgr9 wrote

Pretty telling op hasn’t responded to anyone with proof or a response

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evando2006 t1_je6xfyw wrote

How the fuck does a guy like this get a date when I rarely get a response on dating apps

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nirad t1_je6y0zq wrote

Chad should have known that this is strictly a third date move.

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muttbutter t1_je6ztwt wrote

Wow I can’t even get matches lol

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cyankitten t1_je731x0 wrote

I can’t even get dates! When I tried online dating most of it was just guys asking to hook up when I actually wanted to go on dates (& hopefully find love) and my profile & pix were modest as fuck!

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muttbutter t1_je7fvg1 wrote

I’ve never asked to hook up. I try to make a genuine comment and just don’t get a response if I do match. I’ve had two dates in five years of swiping and both didn’t look like their pics. But that’s what I get for looking for love online lol

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VAdogdude t1_je73ulr wrote

Is anybody else thinking; "Maybe a hooker, but maybe not."

That could have been a submissive woman with a kink and dishonest narcissist. Either way, this may not be the first time he's done this and probably won't be the last.

If you're still around OP, I'd be interested in your take on the professional hooker or kinky amateur possibility.

1

reb678 t1_je77w4w wrote

You should’ve asked the hooker if she needed a ride to give her an excuse to leave also.

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Lahm0123 t1_je79c4b wrote

You would’ve paid for that.

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ReadRightRed99 t1_je7a2d7 wrote

This didn’t happen. People don’t leave hookers in their apartments when they go out because the hooker would steal everything in the apartment and her pimp would probably murder someone and leave the body there. No way this happened.

1

hotlavatube t1_je7dozw wrote

So... is the surprise hooker more of a 3rd date thing? Asking for a friend...

1

morycua t1_je7engv wrote

Yo sounds like Chad was making sure he got laid that night and he was successful with one of y'all.

1

eatthecheesefries t1_je7jijz wrote

“Chad and the Hooker” sounds like a new CBS sitcom.

1

Formal-Bat-6714 t1_je7me7f wrote

"I wanted to spice things up" .....on a first date

1

culturedgoat t1_je7p7lr wrote

> he began to show off by ordering a bunch of expensive sushi rolls that neither of us could pronounce.

What sushi rolls are difficult to pronounce exactly? Japanese is one of the most straightforward languages to transliterate into English syllables. Not to mention that “sushi rolls” are a western thing anyway.

1

PannusPunch t1_je7j61c wrote

Either you're an idiot for going back to his place after every red flag during the date or you just made up the story. Both mean that this story sucks.

0

bleekerboy t1_je7k4mi wrote

Fuckin asshole ruined it. Ruined a perfectly open minded lady into being scared shitless of future guys. What a fuckin twat and sorry you had to go through that. I as a man, do not claim his kind.

0

AutumnOnFire t1_je6whyg wrote

Well yeah, you went on a first date with a dude named "Chad."

Were there no warning signs prior to the date? Did y'all talk?

−1

PraiseTheWLAN t1_je71zvk wrote

What's wrong with shirt and sweatpants?

−1

ahympcasah t1_je7gsum wrote

Frankly this is what you get for going by looks in not only dating but in a dating app. Guys like this think they can get whatever they want with minimal effort because that’s exactly what the world has given them thanks to their looks—it’s the same with the hot women I’ve dated. Next time date a normal guy that’s reasonably attractive.

−1

BeautifullySublime t1_je5pnvj wrote

You really have to wonder what goes through these people’s heads. Like how did he see that going? He leaves a (presumable) hooker alone in his apartment while he goes on a date with a girl he barely knows from a dating app, tries to woo her with talk about his money and successful start up, then she’s so into him by the end of the date that she goes home with him and agrees to an impromptu threesome with a person she literally just met that moment?

It’s hard to believe that some people have an opinion of themselves that’s so high they assume other people will put themselves at significant risk just to please them.

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Howie_Due t1_je60w3t wrote

It’s hard to believe you believe a word of this

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BeautifullySublime t1_je6xch3 wrote

OP doesn’t have enough karma to assume she’s just lying for karma. So if you’re implying there’s some other motive for her to lie it’s gone over my head.

0

Howie_Due t1_je6xem4 wrote

OP is a bot

*just look at its comment history and range of subs participation in a short time. Typical bot

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BeautifullySublime t1_je6xwcr wrote

Hm, fair enough. Damn, you really can’t trust anything you read anymore

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Howie_Due t1_je7242a wrote

Yeah bots have been way more active recently it seems

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cyankitten t1_je72m1a wrote

I had a look after you said this 🏃‍♀️ and I think you’re right. I think they ARE a bot. 🤖

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__System__ t1_je5qak0 wrote

Not seeing the FU here. You definitely gave it your best shot! I'd like to think I am kind of wild but being surprised like that is beyond wrong and I would have felt very uncomfortable.

−4