Hi u/SoundlessScream I do have a book coming out autumn 2023! It's a workbook about doing solo IFS.

I'll be gathering an inside circle book launch team. If you want to join it, and get an early copy of the book to review, you can join my email list where I'll announce when the launch team is open https://seekdeeply.com/

Hi u/NoLandscape9327,

About the person "here right now typing this" - YES, you can treat that as the Regular You and you start the solo IFS from there. The Regular You is just whoever you are right now as long as you're not blended with one part that has tunnel vision. (Again, the Regular You is more of a mixture of parts)

Regarding

>"I'm currently afraid to do IFS haphazardly due to overwhelm, but I also am confused how to move forward and address this fear when I also am getting in my own way trying to keep track of the process to ensure I don't trip a wire and become overwhelmed. I'm aware that I exist doing this right now and I don't know what to do about it, because to not do it could mean blindly walking on a bomb."

That's a good place to start, but I would emphasize that the solo IFS journaling is a dialogue. So if you were talking to someone inside, how would you express that?

You could also check if that fear about doing IFS haphazardly would be willing to talk directly to you.

Like: "What are you afraid will happen if we get overwhelmed?"

It might not be willing to do that, in which case you'll be at least partially blended with it, which is a fine place to start.

Just remember that you're arriving at this solo IFS space to talk to what's inside. To meet another. To dialogue. To connect.

The unique thing about IFS is clients don't have to share the personal details with the therapist. The therapist is there to guide, and the client can keep the personal info to themselves. It's pretty unique to have this be possible in therapy, as you'd imagine.

Does that answer help?

Great question, u/b00jum. I did a quick scan of Google Scholar and don't see any published research, unfortunately. There are some general articles on the topic if you want to simply Google.

Hi u/RevolutionaryOwl8087 I appreciate your question.

Re. hands-on-options of recordings, do you mean IFS-specific?

Ok, and do you mean IFS-specific?

Gotcha, u/Wrapworks. I don't know of video recorded demos where such somatic expression is visible. I'm curious, what do you imagine it would do for you if you did find some demos like that?

Hi u/Significant_Diet_474 these are questions many people have, and they're important.

It really depends. Of course we'd need to know what you mean by "benefit." Does that mean generally "feeling better"? Working with an entrenched issue? Dealing with something relatively minor? Having foundational changes?

In my experience, most people feel a benefit after one session.

IFS can be very intellectually satisfying as it often provides us a window into why we've been doing certain things (read: why parts have done what they've done). Hence the immediate relief.

However, after the novelty wears off, there's more variation in how much benefits different clients get. After all, the satisfaction of insight doesn't necessarily correlate to true healing.

One of the problems with IFS is we can get distracted by those big insights - and even by the genuinely moving connections with parts - and not realize that on the deep level we're not changing if IFS is our only tool. The best way I can explain this is that IFS is like doing a renovation in your house (the house = you). It can be really satisfying to renovate part of a room, different rooms, etcetera. It can change our quality of life. But if the foundation of the house is not sound, there's a major problem.

I've found that something additional is needed: a framework through which to identify the foundational issues in a person. Because otherwise, we might have IFS session after IFS session (every single one meaningful and tear-wrenching and big-feeling) and be working with endless numbers of parts, but missing the main stuff.

So in those cases, IMO no amount of pure IFS sessions (when there's parts talk the entire time) might be enough if the person were looking for real foundational change.

I work with people who are seeking that Big Prize: becoming who they really are. My process combines IFS and Jungian analysis and takes 1-2 years.

In terms of knowing if it's right for you, I'd say trying a session would be the truest way to tell.

How's this land with you?

Beautiuful u/ECU_BSN. It sounds like you and Nelly have quite a mutually trusting relationship.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with everyone.

Hello back, u/TylerJWhit!

1. Re. avoiding retraumatization with solo IFS, see my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nym68/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Lmk if you have more questions around that.
2. I've not worked with anyone formally diagnosed with DID, although I have in-person witnessed another IFS therapist working with such a client who generously allowed therapists-in-training to observe. Typically with IFS, the person will be aware of what each of their parts have said in an IFS session. But with DID, the person will not necessarily be aware of such. DID involves a high level of polarization between parts, a distinct Self-Like part being in charge, and parts blending fully with the person (such that there is no space for Self at all, as I explain regarding the "Regular You" here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nv7yc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) There can also be a quality of rigidity of parts in contrast to a more harmonious system, in which there is more dynamism and parts might meld in and out of particular forms (Ex. a part met in one session might not appear in the same recognizable form in another session, and that's okay!) Regarding integration, I don't have a particular stance, but I'll say that IFS says that DID is an extreme form of a natural inner dynamic. Therefore, the path to healing in IFS would be applicable to DID.
3. As with any social psychological phenomenon, the detrimental effects of social media are complex. I don't have a set of general thoughts to share because I don't specialize in this. But if you want to ask a more specific question about social media and mental health, you're welcome to.

Congratulations u/juicyonacadillac on getting into an L1 training!

I have to say it feels odd to give straight-up advice since I always want to help people find their own answer, but since you asked I'll give a direct answer🙃

My biggest tip would be to focus on what you've already identified: your own personal experience with IFS. That's the biggest teacher. Whatever you experience while working with your own parts will become your own "training manual" you can draw on any time you're doing IFS with clients. And it'll keep growing.

If I were giving myself advice about L1, I'd say: Don't worry so much about getting the pieces of information, let it more wash over you and become a part of you. This will help you internalize it on a deep level, which becomes lasting.

Luckily you will have lots of opportunities to experience IFS in your own system in the L1 training, as a big part of the process involves taking the "client" role with your fellow trainees.

BTW - I'm assisting a Level 1 IFS training that begins tomorrow, is that the one you'll be in?👐

Hi u/Pastel_Purkinje. Nice question.

Severe trauma requires a clinician who is specially trained in trauma, and I've chosen not to specialize in that.

My focus instead is helping people individuate: helping people become who they really are. I'm working on the border between thriving and functioning. (Rather than the border of functioning and surviving.) This border, too, requires a specialized set of training for someone to become an excellent therapist.

Because I so deeply respect the importance of having qualified support for trauma, I don't offer myself for dealing with actively life-disrupting trauma.

Well put, u/squipple.

u/holdemhigh815 I'll add that I don't recommend doing solo IFS if you feel like you might get overwhelmed and flooded. The last thing we want is this to be a negative experience for you.

Assessing whether solo IFS is right for you involves seeing how supported you feel - do you have access to a therapist you can bring the material that arises in a solo session to, if needed? Are you dealing with big unresolved trauma? How stable do you feel in your life in general?

For my mastermind program Soul-Led IFS, in which people get 1-on-1 guidance from me in learning how to do IFS on themselves, I specify it's designed for adults grounded in at least one realm of adult life (family, home, or work). (This is the program: https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind)

Thanks u/ECU_BSN 😄

In the professional realm, I officially trained in 2011 to 2012, so that makes it over 10 years.

This is pretty unusual, as back then hardly anyone knew about Internal Family Systems. The vast majority of IFS therapists have trained in the last few years.

Living and working with IFS for years has changed my relationship to it and understanding of it to be much more nuanced. At the beginning, I thought it was the Holy Grail of healing. Now I understand it can be a central tool, but it's not the answer in every case. (Not everything is a nail needing a hammer!)

As a client, I was introduced to IFS in my early 20s. So it's been a personal tool for quite a long time.

Hi u/NoLandscape9327 thanks for the thoughtful question.

I'm hearing two questions - lmk if this is correct:

1. As an atheist, how can you handle containment with solo IFS? (Re. asking that which is greater than us to contain us)
2. Whether to allow whatever arises to arise, almost like a free-for-all, given that this feels it'd lead to overwhelm

Re. #1:

[Edit: I want to add this is a really good question and I'm glad you brought it up. I can imagine why you felt disappointed by the "greater than you" prompt]

First, you don't have to believe in G-d to believe there's something greater that you.

Second, you don't have to believe there's something greater than you to make the invitation. I'm curious: If you went ahead and asked something greater than you (going through the motions), even while knowing you don't believe in that, what could that be like?

When we make this invitation, we humble ourselves and name our own inability to contain ourselves as a separate entity (Ex. therapist) would. This is a symbolic act which communicates through layers of the psyche. It's a willingness and acknowledgement that we're not "in charge" in a managerial way.

How is this for you to consider?

On a related tangent, I wouldn't say I believe what happens in IFS is literally true. I don't know if it's true or not. All I know for sure is is it's shown to be a useful metaphor and tool that functions. I don't really care if it's literally true or not. I'm agnostic regarding the literalness of IFS. But for me, it's besides the point.

For #2:

Great question. So what we're actually going for in solo IFS is to be the Regular You. I don't know your name, let's pretend it's Lee. So in solo IFS, we'd want the Regular Lee to be showing up. This is distinct from Self, and it's distinct from parts. It's basically who you are in regular day-to-day life, your normal state of consciousness, when you're not blended with one part. Don't overthink it. It's just you, the person you feel you are, the person who will close the journal after your session and move on with your day.

The Regular You is a mixture of parts all swirled together in your consciousness. The key difference is that you're not blended with one part, because when that happens, when one part is behind the wheel, there is no room for anything else - aka no room for Self. When you're in the Regular You, there is space, and it makes it possible for Self to get in naturally as the solo session progresses. Without striving to have Self come.

Not only is the Regular You the only state from which we can really approach authentic parts work on ourselves, but it's also the bridge between IFS work and your regular life.

So as you become comfortable with the concept of being able to meet your parts from the Regular You - knowing that you don't have to be in that altered state of Self - it becomes easier to be in contact with these parts in day-to-day life. And that means that you can access IFS more easily. You won't need to pull out an official session just to connect inside.

Now, if you're in the Regular You and you're allowing yourself to respond authentically to what arises, that means that if you start to feel overwhelmed by things, you'd respond accordingly. You could say (write) things like:

- "This feels too big"

- "I'm feeling overwhelmed"

Etc.

Of course if your inner compass (that sense of knowing) indicates it's right for you to stop the session early, you can do that!

But in addition, when material from other parts feels overwhelming, we can ask those parts to turn down the intensity. We can also explain our concerns. Everything that happens in a real conversation can happen here.

How is this? Lmk if you have more questions.

Hi u/txmsh3r, I answered a similar question here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n446s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Check that out and lmk if you have more questions!

u/Remote_Comment2941 I love this question.

There are some fundamental differences between the Jungian approach and IFS. I work with the Jungian approach as a robust framework, and IFS as an invaluable tool / technique to deploy within that framework.

A central tenent of the Jungian approach is forming a respectfully collaborative relationship with our unconscious. To do this, we must listen to the unconscious, and Jung identified two major tools for this: dreams, and active imagination. However, he barely defined active imagination and few people know of the practice.

IFS solves that problem.

IFS provides a clear way to do active imagination. It provides a learnable and reliable pathway into the dimension of psyche, the dimension of our parts.

This is how IFS can be an invaluable addition to Jungian analysis.

One of the pitfalls of IFS, however, is that if it's not wielded with the correct attitude it can cause harm. It's very important we approach parts work with an attitude of respect that our unconscious has the right to keep some material in the darkness. We must respect the mystery.

IFS is a powerful shamanic tool and must be used with respect.

IFS can become a weapon if we use it to try to bludgeon our unconscious into showing things it's not ready to, or if we try to manipulate our parts.

This boils down to it being very important that we identify our Self-Like Parts.

I've gotten a little off-track from your question, but hope this helps!

(Note: You can learn about Self-Like Parts here: https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ and join a free workshop for identifying yours here: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

Deep questions, u/thinkandlive!

Let's start with the easiest first 😝

- Do you believe that each of us has something like a calling/soul path or is it "just" choice and learning enough and getting good at something no matter what it is?

IFS says that each of our parts has its own unique essence, which is IMO a way of acknowledging the unique spark and soul-quality in each part.

To answer more fully, let's look at the Jungian approach. Jungian analysis says - and I believe this to be true as well - that each of us is here for a reason. We are here to get closer and closer to wholeness, to becoming who we really are. This soul path process is called individuation. And what that individuated person is like will be different for each of us. (Just as an "individuated" dandelion will look totally different from an "individuated" snapdragon flower.) And it will depend on where and when we were born, and the life circumstances that come our way.

This view says that the greater Self calls us to our unique path of individuation, and it is up to us to willingly follow or to get dragged there, kicking and getting scraped up along the way. It's up to us to learn how to hear, accurately interpret, and choose how to respond to the call of Self. (We are not meant to simply roll over and automatically do what Self is proposing - that would be blind following which is just as problematic as totally ignoring Self.) BTW the Jungian understanding of Self is different from the IFS Self.

Part of the process of individuation process involves developing all 8 of our functions: Thinking, Feeling, Intuition and Sensation (each can be introverted or extraverted).

We are born with easy access to some of these functions, and a much more difficult time accessing others. That is something we don't get to choose. The functions that are our natural home will always be our natural home. However, we can develop the other functions and in fact we must in order to individuate. (For example, think of a stereotypical engineer type who desperately needs to learn how to live not just from logic but also from feeling) Jung calls this typology and it is the basis of personality psychology ... but most personality tests have strayed very, very far from Jung's work.

If you're intrigued and want to know what your own natural gifts are, an excellent resources is the Gifts Compass Inventory which is based very closely on Jung's work: https://giftscompass.com/ (click on "take the GCI")

Ok, next questions!

- Is there a way to make good decision about difficult life choices like changing jobs etc when many parts have different opinions?

One of the most difficult things to do in life is "hold the tension" (another Jungian term). That is, to fully feel the impulse to go towards one choice (held by one part or a cluster of parts), and fully feel the opposite impulse to an opposing choice (held by an opposing part or cluster of parts), at the same time. WITHOUT taking action.

What typically happens is when we discipline ourselves to hold the tension between the opposites - instead of blending with a part and just going with its desires - then the "third solution" comes in. Jung calls this the transcendent function. It's a way forward that we could never have figured out, thought through, noodled out. It leads us out of seemingly neverending state of that tension.

So to your question, holding the tension helps us move forward in the right way for us.

IFS can be an excellent tool for helping us hold the tension. We can hold ourselves as the mediator or therapist, and the parts as the "clients."

Important note: For this to be effective, we need to truly listen to each part. NOT with the goal of solving - if we're doing that, we're in a Self-Like Part. YES do this with the goal of understanding.

One useful method is to apply the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) approach which is used for couples in conflict to our own parts. Basically, you bring both parts to a solo session. You let the parts know you're going to listen to both of them. Start with one part (Part A), asking it what it's afraid will happen if you don't go with its choice, and asking it to focus on what it feels when it imagines this outcome. Then let it know you're going to check with the other part (Part B). Ask Part B if it heard how Part A feels. Then give Part B the chance to answer the same questions, and check with Part A if it heard that.

That's it.

If it feels right and if the parts want it, you can encourage them to see if they can reach a compromise.

However, simply listening to the parts is often enough. The third solution then often emerges on its own, out of the unconscious.

If needed, you can rinse and repeat. And in the short term, if nothing else, letting the parts fully air their perspectives reduces the charge around the conflict.

Now your other question!

- What do you do in moments where you would need direct access beacuse there is no Self present but you cant reach anyone who know direct access? Like when you are pretty much fully blended with a part and it doesnt know how to unblend even though it wants to but its like it is the only "person" there in that moment?

This can be a good time to bring in the expressive arts. Any time we can externalize a part's experience - that is, take it out of our inner world and give it form in the external world - it changes the psychic material. Jungians would say it's an alchemical process and describe this process as as "transmutation." But we don't need fancy terminology to do it.

So if you're blended with a part, you can provide that part with a means of expression. If you're doing the solo IFS process with my audio guide, instead of journaling you can invite your part to express itself onto the page with art materials. (In my audio guide, I take you through ritual steps [OLD Steps] to contain the experience to avoid overwhelm.) This works with any art modality: music, movement or dance, etcetera. Journaling can also be a way: by putting down in black and white what the part feels, you're inherently acknowledging it's a part, and that creates a sliver of space that is not totally blended with the part.

Another option, which I've been wanting to create for a long time, is a choose-your-own-adventure video with a trusted therapist in which that therapist "leads" you (prerecorded, but you choose your responses) through various steps to try to unblend. If you like this option, stay tuned to my email list https://seekdeeply.com/ - when I create this I'll share it there.

But for now, I'd also suggest that it might not be as necessary to have Self present as you think. If we can simply make a window through which Self could enter, that can be enough. You could ask the part if it'd be willing to allow in a pinprick of Self-energy. If it says yes, just know that there is a tiny bit of space, and be open to allowing what happens to unfold.

Does that help?

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic I often find that family constellations work easily comes to mind for Dutch therapists and coaches when they hear about IFS. Obviously they are very different, but that can be handy starting ground as it's widely known in the culture and in a similar arena of shamanic healing as IFS.

Is there a particular quality of uneasiness you fear? (For example, are you afraid they'll think you're talking about dissociative identity disorder?)

Hi u/Wrapworks - first of all I want to affirm that your intense somatic experience is completely valid and many people I work with have something like this. That is, if I'm understanding what you're referring to. To be sure: Will you say more about what you mean by "somatic movements"? If you can give some examples that will help.

Interesting question. I have no professional experience with NLP. I'm afraid I'm only familiar with NLP from Wikipedia which calls it pseudoscientific, and anecdotally from an incredible therapist I worked with once who mentioned she loved NLP - but we never did it so I can't assess its efficacy in any way.

But in general, there are many approaches that recognize the natural multiplicity of the mind, and IFS overlaps with the stance that that's normal.

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic what a wonderful question. And yes, I am passionate about rigorous and careful learning. When you say trustworthy resources to check out, do you mean for IFS in particular, or more generally about healing? Or do you have something else in mind?

I'm glad you asked this central question, u/GeneralDelay812!

IFS therapy is a method for healing that says it's natural to have many different "parts" (like sub-personalities) inside of us*. It also says that every single adult has Self - a core that is deeply wise, caring, and the ideal inner healer which can help all these different parts.

*These parts are either Exiles (the most vulnerable, wounded parts of us which carry the deepest inner pain) or Protectors (which can be further identified as Managers or Firefighters.

IFS provides a clear roadmap for how to get into Self, build relationships with our different parts, and ultimately heal them. This frees our own natural qualities to develop and mature as they were meant to, as they would have if they'd not been warped or suppressed because of trauma. Our real essence gets to come to the surface and we get to feel more and more like our true selves.

You can get a 1-minute explanation, a 5-minute explanation and a full-on detailed explanation here: https://seekdeeply.com/what-is-ifs-therapy-introduction-to-the-internal-family-systems-model-by-richard-c-schwartz-blog-post/

IFS is one of the fastest-growing therapies and it's becoming wildly popular across the globe. People seem to recognize IFS is different, it brings something unique that most other psychological approaches don't. A lot of people become extremely excited when they learn about IFS. Why is that?

In my opinion, the x factor of IFS boils down to two things:

1. IFS synthesizes the more traditional scientific psychological approach with a shamanic approach. This gives people access to the ancient human technology of our shamanic heritage in a way that's accepted by popular culture (Ex. it's "normal" to see a therapist, at least in many segments of society; experiences like depression are validated as "real" and given medical diagnoses)
2. IFS can bring results and big insights relatively quickly, and this is naturally very exciting for people

Re. books for self IFS therapy, you can check out my answer here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8mxq55/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi u/bohanmyl. There are a few ways to get started, and the right way for you depends on your comfort with being in the unknown.

If you're up for taking a little leap, to trying IFS without "knowing" with certainty how to do it: I'd recommend listening to my free IFS audio guide - http://seekdeeply.com/free There's a beautiful workbook there as well which will help you get set up. All you need to do is carve out some private time for yourself, get a pen and journal, and follow the audio guide.

A lot of people love the experience and find it very meaningful.

However, some people want step-by-step instructions every step of the way. The good news: You can find those in Bonnie Weiss's workbook https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Workbook-Exercise-Book-Process/dp/0984392742 or Jay Earley's overview of self-therapy https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777 or more general guidance in Dick Schwartz's No Bad Parts: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681 . The not-so-good news: Many people find applying the classic IFS process to themselves not very effective over the long term. (I explain why here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8my2u5/?context=3)

Lasting healing with IFS requires trusting your inner system and being led by Self. And if we're following a manual every step of the way, we're not trusting our systems. We're following a manual and, more often than not, manufacturing something that resembles Self.

But it's perfectly ok to start with detailed guidance as long as you know that in order to make solo IFS a lifelong healing tool, you'll eventually need to spread your wings and leap into trusting yourself.

My own workbook all about solo IFS is coming out autumn 2023! If you want to join my inner circle launch team (and get an early copy), you can join my email list to get an invite: https://seekdeeply.com/

Hi u/cocotab, great question.

I know how frustrating it can be trying to find an IFS therapist. Hopefully as more and more get trained this situation will change.

To answer your question, it depends.

Occasionally a part will be so ready to unburden that it will happen almost spontaneously, without any guidance needed. All that you'd have to do is set the conditions to consciously connect with the part, and then the spontaneous unburdening would naturally occur.

Some people are able to do unburdenings with solo IFS. That said, to do IFS on yourself in a deeply authentic way, it's important not to try to manage the process to try to make it resemble a traditional unburdening done in classic IFS. But that's okay. If we're really attuned and our system feels safe to unburden, we'll be centering the Exile, and the Exile will tell us what it needs to heal / unburden. In short, unburdenings in solo IFS might not look like traditional unburdenings.

However, for the most part: My answer is usually No. Unburdenings typically require such presence of Self that it's usually necessary to have a therapist facilitate.

If I am working on a big issue and know I need to unburden, I would book a session with an IFS therapist to do so. I've also heard that Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS, says the same for himself.

The good news is if self-led IFS feels like a fit for you, you can do everything else on your own, then seek an IFS therapist just for that final portion.

Sidenote: Are you aware that many IFS therapists work online? The official IFS directory can be a useful place to find them https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners