Do you have proof he owes you thousands?

Lawyer up?

Hell, even a bluff on a lawyer will strict fear.

"I have been talking to my lawyer, and he believes it will be best if we settle this out of the courts, we both would end up spending more money on lawyers than what you actually owe me. So if you want to go to court over this, fine by mine, just know that you will have lawyer fees on top of what you owe me"

A friend of mine pulled that card and it worked surprisingly.

But really.... is that a reason to stick around in a shit relationship?

Cold and harsh turkey.

Hey, I came to tell you we're breaking up today. This is not a discussion. I am letting you know that I don't want to be in this relationship anymore.

I am sorry, its nothing personal, but for me to express heal, I will be removing you from social media and blocking your number.

Thank you for the memories we shared, but this isn't a working for me.

Best of luck!

And you never look back.

r/relationship_advice has your back.

Take care now.

Yeah, fuck that noise.

He gave you an indication of subtle interest at a point.

Even though he is in a relationship, and protected by the "we're just friends" label.

I bet her attention feels good to him, even if it is on the smallest level possible.

>don't get your heart broken

Ooooh. She don't like you like you.

Yeah... that is no go in my book.

To me, that sounds like she is potentially jealous of you, and jealousy usually means one thing... Feelings.

Which your BF is either oblivious to, or kindling.

The waters spicy on this one.

Given this is a month old relationship. Might be best if you just go back to being friends.

Things like this tend to become reoccurring theme in relationships

• You're going to perceive it as a threat
• He's just going to side with her
• You're going to be battling your insecurities
• He will continue giving you reasons to be insecure
• You will always be uncomfortable with things

Realistically, the only path to resolution is you befriending her.

The alternative is find a different relationship where none of this is a factor. You can focus solely on the relationship, and not have to burden yourself with the potential upcoming drama.

I would have a tough time with that myself, GF living with a new guy friend and is protective over.

Wow. That's a hot take...

>He said it was because if he stopped asking for them I'd get suspicious that he was in a relationship.

He lied because he wanted to keep you around as a side piece...

I think for everyone involved, its best you go your seperate ways completely. Its obvious he cannot maintain a reletionship and have you as a friend if he is trying to solicit nudes out of you.

And the gf finding out a close friend turned out to be a FWB, never boils over well.

>when I know it’s going against what he wants because I hate confrontations

I am sorry, but you cannot be afraid of upsetting your partner.

Remember. This is YOUR reletionship as well. You have a right to your voice and having your opinion taken into consideration.

Your reletionship has to be constructed in a way that you agree with and also works for you.

If every time you try to address something that you don't like, and it results in him winning the 'conflict'... then you stop focusing on that independent issue, and start focusing on the lack of compromise and willingness to value your opinion.

If he refuses to work on his ability to compromise, then the reletionship is dysfunctional. You've been officially silenced in the reletionship, unequal power distribution.

The above issue is the more severe problem in your reletionship.

• My partner and I have had an on and off relationship for the last 5 years
• The house is 5 minutes from his job, it is about 2 hours from my job and friends/family
• I feel like I’m making a lot of sacrifices for us to live together
• I do all of the chores around the house such as laundry and dishes cleaning etc.
• He makes double my income
• He insists he also wants to split the rent 50-50 which I don’t feel is fair

Your reletionship has a lot of holes in it. Please postpone this idea for now:

>he bought an engagement ring, we will soon be engaged

You should be focusing on making your relationship something you're happy to exist in. Do not go into an engagement unhappy.

A ring isn't going to solve problems.

It's just locking you into the unhappiness.

Please correct these things and ensure the two of you are capable of understanding each-other and giving compromises.

Whats an open masterbating policy?

You're being used for sure.

Stop being accessible to him.

Tell him that you expect an emotional connection to go along with the physical interaction.

If he cannot sort himself out and deliver on actual dating. You're not interested in being his disposable fk buddy. You have a higher standard for yourself.

Why does he need to share that information with you? lol

That's my point.

Its an acquired skill that people can develop. And having a patient partner such as yourself will be really good.

As long as he is willing to try things out, doesn't feel like he's doing stuff he doesn't want to, you could almost fine tune your sex life exactly how you like it. Kind of an appealing thought actually, its a clean slate and yours to write on haha

I'd recommend keeping an eye on progression. If you feel like you're not getting anywhere sometimes.. then maybe that's all its going to become.

All you can do is take it one at a time and ensure their is progression.

Are you one of his first experiences or something?

You're you're already on the path to breaking up.

This will be main cause:

>Now that I’ve met him and our connection is so great, I wouldn’t imagine wanting to leave to go date other people because I feel as though I’ve met my person.

You don't see it now, but he just poisoned you.

If you try to patch this up, these thoughts will manifest into something worse: I am not good enough for him. He does not see me the same way I see him...My relationship does not mean the same to him... Those will eat away at you over time. He just punctured a hole in your connection.

You're right... breaks are pointless. You don't get to put the reletionship on pause, go fuck around, return and expect everything to go back to normal... it won't be.

Will his feelings ever go away until he explores it? Who knows... but we know that your feelings towards the reletionship and how you feel valued will be changed for the worse.

You will be develop resentment regarding this: I couldn't imagine anyone else because I feel that I met my person... For the reason because it exists for you, but not for him. He just revealed that you're not on the same page.

Well, you would would be ending a reletionship that someone invested their life into.

There is no real way to dodge the drama/complications... You just deal with it.

My best advice: Coach him during.

Tell him to do something and have a enthusiastic response to it. Most likely you have to take the lead on this one until he gets the hang of it.

Having a partner who tells you what to do VS being left to guess what they like.

Teach him, coach him. He will come around.

Everything has been going well until you started developing feelings for someone else?

Call it like it is: you're emotionally cheating right now.

Do you want your reletionship to continue or not? Its really that simple of a question.

Yes? Then stop interacting with this dam person.

No? Then break up your partner.

This is incredibly selfish:

>The only reason I don’t want to break up with my partner is all the drama that would come with it. Hurting them, having to move out or have them move out.

I don't want to break up with my 8 year partner because it will complicate my life... well, you've already complicated it. Deal with it.

Well its a form of intimacy for a lot people, right? Many people find it strengthen their emotional bond to their partner.

Do you have any idea of her reaction if you told her it was straight up jeopardizing your reletionship?

Sorry dude.

Best of luck!

Yup, you're valid here.

After you brought tinder to his attention, he should have had the awareness to delete it... but it was still there the next time around.

And the condom count was a genius move on your behalf.

There is enough evidence here that would indicate foul play.

I am sorry you have to go through this, but I agree with everyone else. You should be taking this seriously and end it.

Everything else sounds positive and healthy.

She might have completely checked out of the sex, or developed an asexual personality.

Not sure what else you can do besides keep trying to light a spark, and contemplate it being a deal breaker for you.

It sucks.

In that case, I don't see anything wrong that stands out.

Ideally, you should have enough interest in a person to date them. After you learn more about them, your interest should increase... It just sounds like you're going through a normal vetting process.

You may have a smaller pool of things that trigger a development of interest than the average person. Nothing wrong with that. My only comment would be to maybe try exploring more personality types?

Someone else commented that this could be tool for you to seek validation. True. Worth thinking about.

What you don't want to do is settle for someone that you just feel "meh" about. Nothing wrong with seeking someone more appealing to you.

I'll take a stab at it.

You like the person when its easy-going, i.e the early stages. It's less demanding.

Once they begin to develop more for you, it is a bigger demand for your attention. Now you feel obligated to entertain this person and make room for them. Like its become a responsibility.

After you feel like it becomes work, you withdraw and lose interest.

Does any of that resonate with you?

You might be SOL friend. If you can conclude that your partner has no real desire to have sex with you, this might be as good as it gets... Having the 'this is a chore' and 'I only participate to make you happy' type mindset.

How's the emotional side of things? Do you feel disconnected? When was the last time you two went out and had a date night together?

I feel you there, not exactly what you want to see afterwards.

But its honestly no surprise. People like her are unstable, manipulative, and controlling.

Its kind of ironic how she placed you in hand-cuffs and in turn told you not to worry, we're just friends.