Submitted by batmaninwonderland t3_11dlqla in news
Comments
profgray2 t1_ja9d3sa wrote
Wow, another florada man..
pegothejerk t1_ja9ddh1 wrote
> In total, prosecutors believe that Mr Rumson spent only about 15 minutes in the Capitol before leaving. Outside, however, footage shows that he encouraged other rioters to "get a ram" to breach another entry point. The affidavit notes that he later assaulted at least one police officer by "running through the crowd towards the officer, reaching out grabbing the officer's face shield, which forced the officer's head and neck backwards and upwards".
That’s decidedly not very panda-like, for shame.
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AccomplishedDrag9882 t1_ja9ev0p wrote
kungfu panda maybe
Bos_Hog t1_ja9fgse wrote
Florida manda
Joealb123 t1_ja9fqfh wrote
Kung Fu Panda gonna get a Felony charge!
WhosAGoodDoug t1_ja9h2n0 wrote
He will have to bear the consequences.
MitsyEyedMourning t1_ja9hp5k wrote
Facing the long arm of the paw.
black_flag_4ever t1_ja9hri1 wrote
Charged for a coup as impotent as a real panda.
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Takina_sOldPairTM t1_ja9if8j wrote
Just because the "cause" that he had believed in got him bamboozled...
jayfeather31 t1_ja9ig3j wrote
How is this an actual headline? I feel like I'm losing my mind here!
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Chippopotanuse t1_ja9jb6u wrote
I love how folks keep dropping dimes on these assholes.
> According to court documents, Mr Rumson was identified by the FBI after receiving a tip and reviewing footage that showed him putting on and taking off the panda mask while on his way to the Capitol, with his face in full view.
And he’s gonna enjoy at least 2 years in federal prison for this stunt:
> The affidavit notes that he later assaulted at least one police officer by "running through the crowd towards the officer, reaching out grabbing the officer's face shield, which forced the officer's head and neck backwards and upwards".
kslusherplantman t1_ja9jc9q wrote
Let’s not forget sexual harassment panda
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VyrPlan t1_ja9kbvn wrote
of trump's pandaring to the worst of his base
(i'm so sorry)
zuzg t1_ja9kpgx wrote
Ever seen footage of people getting into a panda enclosure? They're not pacifist at all, haha
Imnotlikeothergirlz t1_ja9lb7n wrote
Oh my God please take this poor man's award 🏆
Imnotlikeothergirlz t1_ja9ldi3 wrote
I'm right there with you. I feel like I need an adult.
PirbyKuckett t1_ja9loei wrote
aka Cocaine Bear
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Room_Temp_Coffee t1_ja9mvqo wrote
overlord7517 t1_ja9mwyg wrote
This is a sad panda indeed
overlord7517 t1_ja9n65q wrote
Do they provide a bamboo diet in prison?
soda_cookie t1_ja9n890 wrote
Good luck finding one....
Eeeegah t1_ja9nmjx wrote
I sort of see myself as a guy who keeps up with the news. How is this the first time I'm hearing about a sedition panda? And that photo - oy!
eskieski t1_ja9nte5 wrote
Send it back to China
kingsumo_1 t1_ja9oq9e wrote
Would you say a Sad-ition Panda?
mces97 t1_ja9p88w wrote
More like Sexual Harassment Panda.
mces97 t1_ja9pa8k wrote
Oh you suck. I just wrote that then saw your comment.
I'm a bad Panda.
mces97 t1_ja9pew8 wrote
I mean, bear should be a warning not to do that.
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zesty_hootenany t1_ja9pvqz wrote
(You missed a nice joke in OP’s comment!)
Escobarhippo t1_ja9qa7j wrote
Dammit now that song is in my head
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BridgetheDivide t1_ja9r7rs wrote
It's society that's lost its mind. Not you
Takina_sOldPairTM t1_ja9sbna wrote
More like:
you missed a punda-related word on my comment*
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Afdavis11 t1_ja9t24i wrote
Lots of people look like that!
Ranger176 t1_ja9t5p9 wrote
That makes me a saaad panda (not really)
KarthusWins t1_ja9tqmr wrote
Bath salt bear
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Morat20 t1_ja9y53b wrote
No more guns for him.
Also I love the idea that this dumb fuck spent two years watching others get slowly arrested and charged, hoping he'd get away with it -- and finally having the FBI show up with the receipts and felony charges.
HiMyNameIsNerd t1_jaa2o15 wrote
I'm waiting quietly and patiently for my cousin's time to come. Reported him myself when this all happened.
Edit: LMAO This apparently touched someone's nerve. Thanks for the "concern" ping.
crisisactorsguild t1_jaa40fo wrote
Hahahaha. Good one.
earhere t1_jaa4i0i wrote
Wake me up when Trump is cuffed.
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kthxtyler t1_jaa73lw wrote
He’s a saaaaaaaad panda
Bad_Faith_Detector t1_jaa7xsu wrote
This just sent a strong wave of fear into the traitors who haven't been caught yet. The guy whose identity was completely hidden has now been caught. Only a matter of time until they arrest the next one.
I love that 2 years on and they are still arresting these dumb fucks. Just when they think they got away with it another arrest gets made public reminding them that they are still being hunted.
blueskies1800 t1_jaa90sn wrote
I am proud of all of those people who were involved in arresting this guy.
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LeicaM6guy t1_jaadelm wrote
Pandas are fucking vicious, sometimes. Thankfully their mating instincts are pretty much flatlined, so I guess that threat was off the board.
Slapbox t1_jaae6hq wrote
Remember just 25 years ago when it was a joke? Good thing the US got its shit together.
And yes, it's been nearly 25 years.
GusHowsleyESQ t1_jaaev01 wrote
Who lives in the east 'neath the Willow Tree?
CedarWolf t1_jaagh0s wrote
All the adults have fled to the left and center. The GOP has become the party of raving lunacy, and they seem to be proud of it.
CedarWolf t1_jaagnjg wrote
Five years later...
Maleficent_Ad6021 t1_jaajpgg wrote
Don't be from Florida, Don't be from Florida, Don't be from Florida...
Sigh....
dkggpeters t1_jaamxev wrote
They had to wait as Panda hunting season is short and only every two years.
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Itchy-Top t1_jaaq9m6 wrote
I love how the “blue lives matter” crowd hates cops
JonasNG t1_jaaqin3 wrote
Oh my God, Panda bear is driving this insurrection, how can this be?
uptownjuggler t1_jaas2ay wrote
Look it’s seditious conspiracy panda
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Prudent-Release9906 t1_jaavbqt wrote
I will bet this guy fought against masks when the pandemic was on.
Silent_but-deadly t1_jaawxvy wrote
Is that like sexual harassment panda from South Park?
thisendup76 t1_jaawy61 wrote
I'm a saaaad panda
I_might_be_weasel t1_jaax09a wrote
Have you seen those cheese commercials? That panda is mad.
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zamzuki t1_jab6rwj wrote
Hey what do you call a bear without an ear?
mces97 t1_jab6zxl wrote
Happy. (A B)
AgencyDelicious1933 t1_jab77cy wrote
A furry Republican. I guess furries really are all accepting /s
🙈 My joke is a bit left field lol
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yobymmij2 t1_jabbuhe wrote
But he was the Pandademic.
47_47_47 t1_jabg73w wrote
The shirt says 天滅中共 or tiān miè Zhōng Gòng (Heaven destroy the CCP). I looked the phrase up online as I hadn't heard it before, and no surprise, these shirts are available from the Epoch Times -- who, as the propaganda wing of Falun Gong, has been extremely supportive of the Trump administration, mostly because he's anti-China (and therefore the CCP?). The panda head must then be some kind of weak commentary on China, but who has any idea what it could be.
ChaoticRoar t1_jabklti wrote
sexual harassment panda from South Park
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Krillin113 t1_jabpk3q wrote
Because someone thought it was a good idea to go to a coup attempt wearing this.
Krillin113 t1_jabpp97 wrote
You’re a good citizen
CountryOk4176 t1_jabrt4h wrote
China called. They want their Panda back.
MR___SLAVE t1_jabwnjf wrote
Who lives in a cell after storming the capital?
Seditious Panda
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LiftedPsychedelic t1_jabyk5c wrote
That is honourable 👍
Narrator2012 t1_jac3dc7 wrote
I like how the January 6th coup attempt (domestic terrorism event that aimed to end democracy in the US) was planned months in advance by Republicans and was only the final part in their otherwise soft "legal" coup attempt in the courts; and yet, media and history will forever recall the event as a "riot".
What other types of riots were planned like this?
Did the BBC or other news writers even watch the Jan6 House Committee hearings at all?
BlurryGraph3810 t1_jac40xr wrote
Wait! Is this the cosplay subreddit?
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Aleashed t1_jacb3x2 wrote
Sure, wasn’t there just an article about rectal feeding in US prisons?
OtterlyRuthless t1_jacdc4t wrote
Same here.
genis-sage t1_jacdvlw wrote
these headlines keep getting more bizarre lmao the onion could never rn
soulsteela t1_jace4o7 wrote
Was going to say would have fit yesterdays sub about good names for cocaine bear sequels.
soulsteela t1_jacea3l wrote
The bastard who planted pipe bombs is the arrest I’ve been waiting for.
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Tales_Steel t1_jacgrlm wrote
Pandaman is really fucking everywhere
maifee t1_jackbfz wrote
Just imagine rioting Capitol wearing a Panda costume.
billpalto t1_jacmouz wrote
"assaulting a police officer"
Hope he likes prison.
Sweaty-Feedback-1482 t1_jacnjfg wrote
I woke up to this news this morning and cried tears of joy. I hugged my children tight and whispered the good news into their ears. They don’t have to be afraid anymore… it is over… ITS OVER!!!!
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Low-Possession-4491 t1_jacplm0 wrote
Can we get a Sedition Panda vs Cocaine Bear death match?
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UoFSlim t1_jactpzk wrote
As one would expect from a band of mindless psychotics.
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SweetAndSourShmegma t1_jacxy2d wrote
Crazy sedition...panda 🎵
Bitter_Director1231 t1_jad1mk4 wrote
What an insult to pandas everywhere.
CrashB111 t1_jad79jc wrote
Colbert has warned us for years, bears are universally godless killing machines.
crazypyro23 t1_jadcmua wrote
When one little panda tries to overthrow the government after losing a democratic election, that makes me a sad panda
tretower424 t1_jaddrln wrote
Indeed…I can’t bear to think about it.
five_eight t1_jadgr3s wrote
No shortage of pond scum still on the lam: https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/capitol-violence See if you can spot your kid's coach/bus driver/youth pastor. Please review and share.
hiimsubclavian t1_jadhy0l wrote
It was also a slogan during the Hong Kong protests. If this guy's Falungong he'd probably be wearing 法輪大法好 or some shit.
Ksh_667 t1_jadii40 wrote
Imagine the thought process involved: : “today I’m going to overthrow our oppressive government in the name of freedom & democracy. Wearing my panda suit.”
RandomOwlParrot t1_jadxzwd wrote
You did the right thing
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602Zoo t1_jae9yh4 wrote
They arrest these people that were whipped up into a frenzy by a former president that stole top secret documents. Why are the regular schmucks the only ones doing prison time? I'm not saying they shouldn't, I'm saying Trump should even moreso than these sheep.
47_47_47 t1_jaepgja wrote
no, I don't think he's falungong, I think he's been watching too much Epoch Times. Maybe he's a HK supporter but democratic process doesn't seem to be his thing.
Ok-Welder-4816 t1_jaf07an wrote
Obviously it's a thank you to one of their chief sponsors.
Ok-Welder-4816 t1_jaf0hwq wrote
How about the ringleader himself?
Ok-Welder-4816 t1_jaf0wyj wrote
To be fair, the Falun Gong have some legit gripes with the CCP
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