Hello back, u/TylerJWhit!

1. Re. avoiding retraumatization with solo IFS, see my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nym68/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Lmk if you have more questions around that.
2. I've not worked with anyone formally diagnosed with DID, although I have in-person witnessed another IFS therapist working with such a client who generously allowed therapists-in-training to observe. Typically with IFS, the person will be aware of what each of their parts have said in an IFS session. But with DID, the person will not necessarily be aware of such. DID involves a high level of polarization between parts, a distinct Self-Like part being in charge, and parts blending fully with the person (such that there is no space for Self at all, as I explain regarding the "Regular You" here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nv7yc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) There can also be a quality of rigidity of parts in contrast to a more harmonious system, in which there is more dynamism and parts might meld in and out of particular forms (Ex. a part met in one session might not appear in the same recognizable form in another session, and that's okay!) Regarding integration, I don't have a particular stance, but I'll say that IFS says that DID is an extreme form of a natural inner dynamic. Therefore, the path to healing in IFS would be applicable to DID.
3. As with any social psychological phenomenon, the detrimental effects of social media are complex. I don't have a set of general thoughts to share because I don't specialize in this. But if you want to ask a more specific question about social media and mental health, you're welcome to.

I'm glad you asked this central question, u/GeneralDelay812!

IFS therapy is a method for healing that says it's natural to have many different "parts" (like sub-personalities) inside of us*. It also says that every single adult has Self - a core that is deeply wise, caring, and the ideal inner healer which can help all these different parts.

*These parts are either Exiles (the most vulnerable, wounded parts of us which carry the deepest inner pain) or Protectors (which can be further identified as Managers or Firefighters.

IFS provides a clear roadmap for how to get into Self, build relationships with our different parts, and ultimately heal them. This frees our own natural qualities to develop and mature as they were meant to, as they would have if they'd not been warped or suppressed because of trauma. Our real essence gets to come to the surface and we get to feel more and more like our true selves.

You can get a 1-minute explanation, a 5-minute explanation and a full-on detailed explanation here: https://seekdeeply.com/what-is-ifs-therapy-introduction-to-the-internal-family-systems-model-by-richard-c-schwartz-blog-post/

IFS is one of the fastest-growing therapies and it's becoming wildly popular across the globe. People seem to recognize IFS is different, it brings something unique that most other psychological approaches don't. A lot of people become extremely excited when they learn about IFS. Why is that?

In my opinion, the x factor of IFS boils down to two things:

1. IFS synthesizes the more traditional scientific psychological approach with a shamanic approach. This gives people access to the ancient human technology of our shamanic heritage in a way that's accepted by popular culture (Ex. it's "normal" to see a therapist, at least in many segments of society; experiences like depression are validated as "real" and given medical diagnoses)
2. IFS can bring results and big insights relatively quickly, and this is naturally very exciting for people

Re. books for self IFS therapy, you can check out my answer here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8mxq55/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

I am a IFS “graduate”. This was the ONLY thing that helped me move through some BIG PTSD and anger.

I had 2 parts that were specifically burdened, heavily. I gave one of them the name “Nelly”. Once I understood WHY that “part” did such a difficult job…it made sense. From there it was a bit easier until the burden felt easy and her load was lighter. For me it was “ah. Ok! I now know what you do and why you do that, Nelly. So if anything happens in the future that brings up the trauma we know what to do. And if, forbid, trams happens then you k ow your job Nelly”

So I stopped trying to pry that out of my brain and gave it permission to work when needed. After time she just vibes and I k ow I am capable of enduring.

The IFS model says that unburdenings are permanent. So if an unburdening is done fully, then theoretically that burden is removed forever from the Exile. This is typically what I see.

That said, if an unburdening was not done throughoughly, an Exile might need the person to go back to really finish a part of the process. Most often this means more witnessing.

In addition, an Exile can have more than one burden. So the Exile could still be a burdened part if the other burden(s) haven't been removed.

Another scenario in which an Exile's unburdening can be "undone" is when that process was not facilitated by Self, but by a Self-Like Part. These are parts that resemble Self because they have similar qualities (like compassion, curiosity, care) but are actually parts and have their own agenda. It can be difficult to identify these parts, even IFS therapists might not realize a client is in a Self-Like Part if the therapist is not alert to the possibility. (More info on Self-Like Parts here - https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ ... I'm offering a free workshop on how to untangle yourself from these parts: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

Theoretically, if an Exile was unburdened via the therapist's Self rather than the client's, then that part might still mistrust the client's Self.

Hope this helps! Follow up with more questions if you like.

I'm not a licensed therapist, but I have read "No Bad Parts" by Richard C. Schwartz (the founder of IFS). In the book he goes through some exercises that are safe to do alone, but he mentions that the unburdening processes should be guided by a licensed therapist. I highly recommend the audiobook version, as the exercises are paced slowly, in a way that they act like mini therapy sessions, and can be revisited again and again.

Hi u/Pastel_Purkinje. Nice question.

Severe trauma requires a clinician who is specially trained in trauma, and I've chosen not to specialize in that.

My focus instead is helping people individuate: helping people become who they really are. I'm working on the border between thriving and functioning. (Rather than the border of functioning and surviving.) This border, too, requires a specialized set of training for someone to become an excellent therapist.

Because I so deeply respect the importance of having qualified support for trauma, I don't offer myself for dealing with actively life-disrupting trauma.

Hi u/cocotab, great question.

I know how frustrating it can be trying to find an IFS therapist. Hopefully as more and more get trained this situation will change.

To answer your question, it depends.

Occasionally a part will be so ready to unburden that it will happen almost spontaneously, without any guidance needed. All that you'd have to do is set the conditions to consciously connect with the part, and then the spontaneous unburdening would naturally occur.

Some people are able to do unburdenings with solo IFS. That said, to do IFS on yourself in a deeply authentic way, it's important not to try to manage the process to try to make it resemble a traditional unburdening done in classic IFS. But that's okay. If we're really attuned and our system feels safe to unburden, we'll be centering the Exile, and the Exile will tell us what it needs to heal / unburden. In short, unburdenings in solo IFS might not look like traditional unburdenings.

However, for the most part: My answer is usually No. Unburdenings typically require such presence of Self that it's usually necessary to have a therapist facilitate.

If I am working on a big issue and know I need to unburden, I would book a session with an IFS therapist to do so. I've also heard that Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS, says the same for himself.

The good news is if self-led IFS feels like a fit for you, you can do everything else on your own, then seek an IFS therapist just for that final portion.

Sidenote: Are you aware that many IFS therapists work online? The official IFS directory can be a useful place to find them https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners

Deep questions, u/thinkandlive!

Let's start with the easiest first 😝

- Do you believe that each of us has something like a calling/soul path or is it "just" choice and learning enough and getting good at something no matter what it is?

IFS says that each of our parts has its own unique essence, which is IMO a way of acknowledging the unique spark and soul-quality in each part.

To answer more fully, let's look at the Jungian approach. Jungian analysis says - and I believe this to be true as well - that each of us is here for a reason. We are here to get closer and closer to wholeness, to becoming who we really are. This soul path process is called individuation. And what that individuated person is like will be different for each of us. (Just as an "individuated" dandelion will look totally different from an "individuated" snapdragon flower.) And it will depend on where and when we were born, and the life circumstances that come our way.

This view says that the greater Self calls us to our unique path of individuation, and it is up to us to willingly follow or to get dragged there, kicking and getting scraped up along the way. It's up to us to learn how to hear, accurately interpret, and choose how to respond to the call of Self. (We are not meant to simply roll over and automatically do what Self is proposing - that would be blind following which is just as problematic as totally ignoring Self.) BTW the Jungian understanding of Self is different from the IFS Self.

Part of the process of individuation process involves developing all 8 of our functions: Thinking, Feeling, Intuition and Sensation (each can be introverted or extraverted).

We are born with easy access to some of these functions, and a much more difficult time accessing others. That is something we don't get to choose. The functions that are our natural home will always be our natural home. However, we can develop the other functions and in fact we must in order to individuate. (For example, think of a stereotypical engineer type who desperately needs to learn how to live not just from logic but also from feeling) Jung calls this typology and it is the basis of personality psychology ... but most personality tests have strayed very, very far from Jung's work.

If you're intrigued and want to know what your own natural gifts are, an excellent resources is the Gifts Compass Inventory which is based very closely on Jung's work: https://giftscompass.com/ (click on "take the GCI")

Ok, next questions!

- Is there a way to make good decision about difficult life choices like changing jobs etc when many parts have different opinions?

One of the most difficult things to do in life is "hold the tension" (another Jungian term). That is, to fully feel the impulse to go towards one choice (held by one part or a cluster of parts), and fully feel the opposite impulse to an opposing choice (held by an opposing part or cluster of parts), at the same time. WITHOUT taking action.

What typically happens is when we discipline ourselves to hold the tension between the opposites - instead of blending with a part and just going with its desires - then the "third solution" comes in. Jung calls this the transcendent function. It's a way forward that we could never have figured out, thought through, noodled out. It leads us out of seemingly neverending state of that tension.

So to your question, holding the tension helps us move forward in the right way for us.

IFS can be an excellent tool for helping us hold the tension. We can hold ourselves as the mediator or therapist, and the parts as the "clients."

Important note: For this to be effective, we need to truly listen to each part. NOT with the goal of solving - if we're doing that, we're in a Self-Like Part. YES do this with the goal of understanding.

One useful method is to apply the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) approach which is used for couples in conflict to our own parts. Basically, you bring both parts to a solo session. You let the parts know you're going to listen to both of them. Start with one part (Part A), asking it what it's afraid will happen if you don't go with its choice, and asking it to focus on what it feels when it imagines this outcome. Then let it know you're going to check with the other part (Part B). Ask Part B if it heard how Part A feels. Then give Part B the chance to answer the same questions, and check with Part A if it heard that.

That's it.

If it feels right and if the parts want it, you can encourage them to see if they can reach a compromise.

However, simply listening to the parts is often enough. The third solution then often emerges on its own, out of the unconscious.

If needed, you can rinse and repeat. And in the short term, if nothing else, letting the parts fully air their perspectives reduces the charge around the conflict.

Now your other question!

- What do you do in moments where you would need direct access beacuse there is no Self present but you cant reach anyone who know direct access? Like when you are pretty much fully blended with a part and it doesnt know how to unblend even though it wants to but its like it is the only "person" there in that moment?

This can be a good time to bring in the expressive arts. Any time we can externalize a part's experience - that is, take it out of our inner world and give it form in the external world - it changes the psychic material. Jungians would say it's an alchemical process and describe this process as as "transmutation." But we don't need fancy terminology to do it.

So if you're blended with a part, you can provide that part with a means of expression. If you're doing the solo IFS process with my audio guide, instead of journaling you can invite your part to express itself onto the page with art materials. (In my audio guide, I take you through ritual steps [OLD Steps] to contain the experience to avoid overwhelm.) This works with any art modality: music, movement or dance, etcetera. Journaling can also be a way: by putting down in black and white what the part feels, you're inherently acknowledging it's a part, and that creates a sliver of space that is not totally blended with the part.

Another option, which I've been wanting to create for a long time, is a choose-your-own-adventure video with a trusted therapist in which that therapist "leads" you (prerecorded, but you choose your responses) through various steps to try to unblend. If you like this option, stay tuned to my email list https://seekdeeply.com/ - when I create this I'll share it there.

But for now, I'd also suggest that it might not be as necessary to have Self present as you think. If we can simply make a window through which Self could enter, that can be enough. You could ask the part if it'd be willing to allow in a pinprick of Self-energy. If it says yes, just know that there is a tiny bit of space, and be open to allowing what happens to unfold.

Does that help?

Upvote on questions 1 & 2!

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic I often find that family constellations work easily comes to mind for Dutch therapists and coaches when they hear about IFS. Obviously they are very different, but that can be handy starting ground as it's widely known in the culture and in a similar arena of shamanic healing as IFS.

Is there a particular quality of uneasiness you fear? (For example, are you afraid they'll think you're talking about dissociative identity disorder?)

Can you explain how this seems similar to Scientology?

Congratulations u/juicyonacadillac on getting into an L1 training!

I have to say it feels odd to give straight-up advice since I always want to help people find their own answer, but since you asked I'll give a direct answer🙃

My biggest tip would be to focus on what you've already identified: your own personal experience with IFS. That's the biggest teacher. Whatever you experience while working with your own parts will become your own "training manual" you can draw on any time you're doing IFS with clients. And it'll keep growing.

If I were giving myself advice about L1, I'd say: Don't worry so much about getting the pieces of information, let it more wash over you and become a part of you. This will help you internalize it on a deep level, which becomes lasting.

Luckily you will have lots of opportunities to experience IFS in your own system in the L1 training, as a big part of the process involves taking the "client" role with your fellow trainees.

BTW - I'm assisting a Level 1 IFS training that begins tomorrow, is that the one you'll be in?👐

Hi Daniël,

No, it's not necessarily necessary, and I discourage any outside expectation like that. Instead, I recommend centering the Exile and (if possible at the end of the unburdening session) asking the Exile itself two things:

1. Does it have any requests of you between now and the next time you visit non-ordinary reality, the dimension where parts reside? (whether in solo IFS or a classic IFS session with a therapist)
2. Does it want to pick a way to signal to you when it wants your attention? This can be physiological (like sending you chills), sending you a particular image, an impulse (like "scratch your chin") etcetera. This gives the part a direct line to you in regular life.

We always want to center our own unique system and what our own parts need and desire.

BTW if the part has a request, you don't have to say yes. It's another chance for authentic connection. If the request will be impossible or too hard, you can explain that, and see if the part has alternative ideas or a compromise.

About the crying -

It's not always necessary to know why you're crying. Psyche is beautifully mysterious and we can respect and honor that mystery without needing to know exactly what's going on. It all depends on what feels right to you.

Hi u/bohanmyl. There are a few ways to get started, and the right way for you depends on your comfort with being in the unknown.

If you're up for taking a little leap, to trying IFS without "knowing" with certainty how to do it: I'd recommend listening to my free IFS audio guide - http://seekdeeply.com/free There's a beautiful workbook there as well which will help you get set up. All you need to do is carve out some private time for yourself, get a pen and journal, and follow the audio guide.

A lot of people love the experience and find it very meaningful.

However, some people want step-by-step instructions every step of the way. The good news: You can find those in Bonnie Weiss's workbook https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Workbook-Exercise-Book-Process/dp/0984392742 or Jay Earley's overview of self-therapy https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777 or more general guidance in Dick Schwartz's No Bad Parts: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681 . The not-so-good news: Many people find applying the classic IFS process to themselves not very effective over the long term. (I explain why here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8my2u5/?context=3)

Lasting healing with IFS requires trusting your inner system and being led by Self. And if we're following a manual every step of the way, we're not trusting our systems. We're following a manual and, more often than not, manufacturing something that resembles Self.

But it's perfectly ok to start with detailed guidance as long as you know that in order to make solo IFS a lifelong healing tool, you'll eventually need to spread your wings and leap into trusting yourself.

My own workbook all about solo IFS is coming out autumn 2023! If you want to join my inner circle launch team (and get an early copy), you can join my email list to get an invite: https://seekdeeply.com/

Great question. Jay Earley's approach is to have people apply "classic IFS" to themselves. (Classic IFS = the way IFS is traditionally done with a therapist, it's what you'd learn in an IFS training.) The problem is, when we're doing parts work on our own, classic IFS alone isn't sufficient. Why? When we try this:

1. We try to contain ourselves and guide the process while we're in it. This immediately splits us away from being truly present and away from authentically accepting what arises. This gets us out of Self and into a managerial part
2. It invites in Self-Like Parts (https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/) like the IFS Enthusiast or Good Student Part. When we're blended with a Self-Like Part, there isn't space for Self
3. If we think we're in Self and we're not, our other parts are likely to mistrust us and stop the process. They might even start mistrusting IFS itself.

Ultimately, expecting ourselves to be able to do classic IFS on ourselves is a set-up for failure ... which then leads to thinking we're at fault. Or even worse, that something is inherently wrong with us that we can't get into Self.

Speaking from both clinical and personal experience here! (I used to wonder if something was wrong with my Self energy.)

Caveat: Trying "classic IFS" does work for some people for a short amount of time. But it seems that once our parts figure out what we're doing, they refuse to participate. It's very common to have initial success with doing IFS on yourself (via classic IFS) and then find that it just doesn't go anywhere. Talk about confusing and frustrating!

TL;DR: I teach people rituals to provide containment and a skillset that sidesteps this no-therapist-present problem. Jay Earley's book can be useful for learning the principles of IFS as long as you take it lightly and know something extra is needed to make IFS a lifelong self-healing tool

Hi u/Wrapworks - first of all I want to affirm that your intense somatic experience is completely valid and many people I work with have something like this. That is, if I'm understanding what you're referring to. To be sure: Will you say more about what you mean by "somatic movements"? If you can give some examples that will help.

The unique thing about IFS is clients don't have to share the personal details with the therapist. The therapist is there to guide, and the client can keep the personal info to themselves. It's pretty unique to have this be possible in therapy, as you'd imagine.

Does that answer help?

Hi u/diesiraeSadness, yes - there are a few studies indicating the efficacy of IFS therapy - you can see a list here: https://ifs-institute.com/resources/research When the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREBP) existed (a US government agency listing evidence-based practices phased out in 2018), it recognized Internal Family Systems as an evidence-based practice.

That said, the scientific evidence base for IFS is in its infancy.

Hope this helps!

Hi u/Significant_Diet_474 these are questions many people have, and they're important.

It really depends. Of course we'd need to know what you mean by "benefit." Does that mean generally "feeling better"? Working with an entrenched issue? Dealing with something relatively minor? Having foundational changes?

In my experience, most people feel a benefit after one session.

IFS can be very intellectually satisfying as it often provides us a window into why we've been doing certain things (read: why parts have done what they've done). Hence the immediate relief.

However, after the novelty wears off, there's more variation in how much benefits different clients get. After all, the satisfaction of insight doesn't necessarily correlate to true healing.

One of the problems with IFS is we can get distracted by those big insights - and even by the genuinely moving connections with parts - and not realize that on the deep level we're not changing if IFS is our only tool. The best way I can explain this is that IFS is like doing a renovation in your house (the house = you). It can be really satisfying to renovate part of a room, different rooms, etcetera. It can change our quality of life. But if the foundation of the house is not sound, there's a major problem.

I've found that something additional is needed: a framework through which to identify the foundational issues in a person. Because otherwise, we might have IFS session after IFS session (every single one meaningful and tear-wrenching and big-feeling) and be working with endless numbers of parts, but missing the main stuff.

So in those cases, IMO no amount of pure IFS sessions (when there's parts talk the entire time) might be enough if the person were looking for real foundational change.

I work with people who are seeking that Big Prize: becoming who they really are. My process combines IFS and Jungian analysis and takes 1-2 years.

In terms of knowing if it's right for you, I'd say trying a session would be the truest way to tell.

How's this land with you?

Interesting question. I have no professional experience with NLP. I'm afraid I'm only familiar with NLP from Wikipedia which calls it pseudoscientific, and anecdotally from an incredible therapist I worked with once who mentioned she loved NLP - but we never did it so I can't assess its efficacy in any way.

But in general, there are many approaches that recognize the natural multiplicity of the mind, and IFS overlaps with the stance that that's normal.

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic what a wonderful question. And yes, I am passionate about rigorous and careful learning. When you say trustworthy resources to check out, do you mean for IFS in particular, or more generally about healing? Or do you have something else in mind?

Hello u/profanitymanatee, thanks for your patience with my reply.

Have you experienced IFS therapy yourself, as a client?

This can be the most long-term rewarding investment of resources because your own inner explorations of the inner word will always be accessible to you, and won't be constrained by an outside curriculum.

You might know that the waitlist to get into an official IFS training is over 7,000 people long. It's a lottery, though, so you can join the waitlist and cross your fingers you get lucky.

I've had some therapists join my Soul-Led IFS Mastermind instead of waiting for the official training, so they can get direct experience themselves. If you want to learn more, you can check it out here: https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind

Hi u/txmsh3r, I answered a similar question here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n446s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Check that out and lmk if you have more questions!

Hi u/nephilim80,

You ask about narcissism. Hot topic!

People who qualify for a diagnosis or narcissism will have been that way essentially since childhood. No amount of adult introspection will turn someone into a narcissist. Quite the opposite, in fact: Narcissists are not interested in actually seeing themselves, because at the core they feel they're worthless. Instead, they're interested in puffing up their persona.

That said, I do want to point out that there is a healthy degree of narcissism, if we're talking about concern for one's well-being and positive self-view. In fact, children have a "narcissistic" view of the world. It's developmentally appropriate.

Regarding social media and the ego: Our egos are perpetually in danger of becoming unbalanced and externalizing our sense of worth, which is a prime quality of narcissism.

About swiping in dating apps: There likely are such studies, you could search on Google Scholar. I'd tend to agree with your guess.

Hi u/Coliexsunshine, super connection you're making.

YES, absolutely parts can cause pain in the body. They can cause all sorts of physical symptoms. I've worked with many people with psychosomatic issues stemming from parts, and IFS can make a big difference.

Speaking personally, I developed an intolerance of gluten as an adult and later met the part that was causing this symptom. I learned why it was doing this, and negotiated over it agreeing to relieve the symptom. Today, I can tolerate gluten much better than before working with that part. (Scientific talk: I think of this particular example as the part turning on something I had a genetic predisposition to, aka using epigenetics to communicate with me)

Often these parts are frustrated we're not hearing them, and they're trying to communicate something to us.

It'd be much easier if they could directly tell us, wouldn't you agree? But we have to set the conditions to make that possible.

Which leads to your final question.

As a starting point, you could begin a session asking to meet the part(s) of you connected to the physical pain. You would then ask the part what it's job is, and what it's afraid would happen if it doesn't send you that pain.

This can be complex work and if you're in physical pain, really affecting your quality of life. You might want to consider finding an IFS therapist to guide this, if you can afford it. A good directory is here: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners

Hi u/Coliexsunshine, the official IFS directory is always a good resource as it shows people who've completed an official IFS training - https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners. You can filter your search by state and city.

I searched for "Long Island" and found this: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners?country=All&us_state=NY&city=Long+Island&approved_consultant=All&level=All&availability=All&consultation_availability=All&field_acceptphone_value=All&keyword=&field_geofield_proximity%5Bvalue%5D=100&field_geofield_proximity%5Bsource_configuration%5D%5Borigin_address%5D=

Please note: The IFS directory lists anyone who's done an official IFS training, but not all of them are mental health professionals. Many are coaches or regular lay-people. Check the bios carefully to ensure it's a therapist, if that matters to you.

Hi u/business_adultman, it's heart-filling to hear about the healing and flourishing you've found with the help of your IFS therapist. Thank you for sharing about with us all.

You ask about my perspective on responsible use of psychedelics with parts work.

To be completely open: I don't work with psychedelics in my practice nor have much interest in them. Why?

1. I find the psyche immensely mystical without bringing in plant medicine. IFS would be an example of that. We can enter non-ordinary reality via parts work, no need for chemicals to be a part of that.
2. While the psychedelics experiences can be immensely meaningful, my main interest is in helping people live their regular lives in a way that is deeply honoring of themselves. And I find that's achievable via long-term regular therapy - for my clients, at least. So I don't see the need for the psychedelics, and I think they can be a distraction. My bent is towards foundational change in daily life, not seeking peak experiences.

BUT I understand psychedelics can be immensely helpful for people. With - as you said - the proper support, context and integration resources. I know multiple people who feel psychedelics have provided critical turning points in their personal development.

Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS, has been very supportive of IFS and psychedelics for several years. If you google "Richard Schwartz psychedelics" there are several interviews with him where you can hear his view. He envisions IFS becoming the standard of care for psychedelic work.

Let me know if you have more questions.

Hi u/NoLandscape9327 thanks for the thoughtful question.

I'm hearing two questions - lmk if this is correct:

1. As an atheist, how can you handle containment with solo IFS? (Re. asking that which is greater than us to contain us)
2. Whether to allow whatever arises to arise, almost like a free-for-all, given that this feels it'd lead to overwhelm

Re. #1:

[Edit: I want to add this is a really good question and I'm glad you brought it up. I can imagine why you felt disappointed by the "greater than you" prompt]

First, you don't have to believe in G-d to believe there's something greater that you.

Second, you don't have to believe there's something greater than you to make the invitation. I'm curious: If you went ahead and asked something greater than you (going through the motions), even while knowing you don't believe in that, what could that be like?

When we make this invitation, we humble ourselves and name our own inability to contain ourselves as a separate entity (Ex. therapist) would. This is a symbolic act which communicates through layers of the psyche. It's a willingness and acknowledgement that we're not "in charge" in a managerial way.

How is this for you to consider?

On a related tangent, I wouldn't say I believe what happens in IFS is literally true. I don't know if it's true or not. All I know for sure is is it's shown to be a useful metaphor and tool that functions. I don't really care if it's literally true or not. I'm agnostic regarding the literalness of IFS. But for me, it's besides the point.

For #2:

Great question. So what we're actually going for in solo IFS is to be the Regular You. I don't know your name, let's pretend it's Lee. So in solo IFS, we'd want the Regular Lee to be showing up. This is distinct from Self, and it's distinct from parts. It's basically who you are in regular day-to-day life, your normal state of consciousness, when you're not blended with one part. Don't overthink it. It's just you, the person you feel you are, the person who will close the journal after your session and move on with your day.

The Regular You is a mixture of parts all swirled together in your consciousness. The key difference is that you're not blended with one part, because when that happens, when one part is behind the wheel, there is no room for anything else - aka no room for Self. When you're in the Regular You, there is space, and it makes it possible for Self to get in naturally as the solo session progresses. Without striving to have Self come.

Not only is the Regular You the only state from which we can really approach authentic parts work on ourselves, but it's also the bridge between IFS work and your regular life.

So as you become comfortable with the concept of being able to meet your parts from the Regular You - knowing that you don't have to be in that altered state of Self - it becomes easier to be in contact with these parts in day-to-day life. And that means that you can access IFS more easily. You won't need to pull out an official session just to connect inside.

Now, if you're in the Regular You and you're allowing yourself to respond authentically to what arises, that means that if you start to feel overwhelmed by things, you'd respond accordingly. You could say (write) things like:

- "This feels too big"

- "I'm feeling overwhelmed"

Etc.

Of course if your inner compass (that sense of knowing) indicates it's right for you to stop the session early, you can do that!

But in addition, when material from other parts feels overwhelming, we can ask those parts to turn down the intensity. We can also explain our concerns. Everything that happens in a real conversation can happen here.

How is this? Lmk if you have more questions.

Hi u/mikebookseller, thanks for the question.

I have to admit I feel sad reading this because I'm guessing you're asking from personal experience.

One of the biggest antidotes is building a live human connection with a caring, safe person. Therapy is one way to do this.

You can look for an IFS therapist or another therapist. The main important quality is that you feel deeply respected by them. That your inner compass says YES.

If you decide to look for a therapist, I'd recommend planning to interview several.

After meeting a potential therapist, you might like to pay attention to your dreams (if you remember them), for signs about whether it's a good fit.

I hope this helps.

Hi u/RevolutionaryOwl8087 I appreciate your question.

Re. hands-on-options of recordings, do you mean IFS-specific?

Thanks u/ECU_BSN 😄

In the professional realm, I officially trained in 2011 to 2012, so that makes it over 10 years.

This is pretty unusual, as back then hardly anyone knew about Internal Family Systems. The vast majority of IFS therapists have trained in the last few years.

Living and working with IFS for years has changed my relationship to it and understanding of it to be much more nuanced. At the beginning, I thought it was the Holy Grail of healing. Now I understand it can be a central tool, but it's not the answer in every case. (Not everything is a nail needing a hammer!)

As a client, I was introduced to IFS in my early 20s. So it's been a personal tool for quite a long time.

Great question, u/b00jum. I did a quick scan of Google Scholar and don't see any published research, unfortunately. There are some general articles on the topic if you want to simply Google.

u/NorseMickonIce just saw this! Yes, Frank Anderson is well-respected in IFS circles. If you feel a connection, that's a great way to start.

I'm all for trusting yourself!

Hi u/Justarandom_Joe I don't personally. Googling "IFS therapy for RAD reactive attachment" shows several resources, but I'm sure you've already done that.

For RAD I do recommend the work and books of Dr. Karyn Purvis, if you don't already know her.

Hi u/SoundlessScream I do have a book coming out autumn 2023! It's a workbook about doing solo IFS.

I'll be gathering an inside circle book launch team. If you want to join it, and get an early copy of the book to review, you can join my email list where I'll announce when the launch team is open https://seekdeeply.com/

Hi u/Ok-Feedback5604, good question. Check out my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n7az8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi u/cdank, interesting question.

Generally speaking, IFS is right for a very wide spectrum of people.

I'd say it's not right for someone whose intention with IFS is to force change or healing inside themselves. Because this would mean abusing the powerful tool of IFS.

At least, it's not right for someone who's blended with a Self-Like Part that's determined to force change. But an experienced IFS therapist would be able to see that person is blended with a part and help them unblend so they can approach IFS with an attitude of true healing.

You can learn about how to unblend from Self-Like Parts like these in my free workshop next week: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/

Aside from that, if someone really doesn't resonate with IFS, it might not be the right modality for them. (Sure, we could say that's a part feeling that way, but that doesn't mean the part's wrong.)

It's all about trusting yourself. Asking: What does my inner compass say?

Hi u/kabre, great question.

Short answer: Yes it's absolutely possible a well-regulated part (i.e., not extreme) might not fit neatly into one of the manager / firefighter / exile categories.

In fact, one of the ways I like to refer to Exiles is: Vulnerable Parts. Because once the Exile is unburdened, it's no longer an Exile - it gets to be a conscious part of the inner system. So we can't accurately call it an Exile anymore.

But I digress.

IFS is an elegantly simple model of the psyche. It's a very effective tool.

And it would be hubris and quite naive to assume that we can have a model that explains everything in psyche. We humans are way too complex for a single system - especially one so simple - to encapsulate everything.

So I hold IFS lightly, knowing that it explains many things, but not everything. I recommend what you're already doing - noticing how your inner world is.

From my view, it's critical to honor the mystery inside, that we can't pin down everything, and that we have no right to, in fact. Our unconscious has the right to exist, too.

In addition, the way I synthesize IFS with the Jungian approach means that I recognize the anima/animus and the shadow as parts. Those definitely don't fit into the neat categories of IFS.

Hehe u/IggyBG this question makes me smile.

Yes, the "EFS" is one's actual family.

The person who founded IFS, Richard C. Schwartz, began as a family therapist. This means he conceptualized of psychology in terms of systems - multiple actors who all affect each other. This equipped him to understand and pioneer a new way of working with the individual: essentially, by applying family therapy to one's own inner world.

And that's IFS 😃

No, would you?

Hi u/sooshimon, what a fascinating and original relationship you've developed with your inner world. It sounds honoring of yourself as well as gratifying. As an art therapist, I love the expression in the language of colors.

Thank you for sharing with me and everyone reading here.

About integration with the Self:

No, that's not the goal! We'll always have parts and we get to keep them. That's part of being human, and it would be a tragedy to take that away!

As we become more and more healed inside, this typically leads to more of a feeling of integration, of wholeness. But by no means does this nullify our parts.

Let me know if this brings up more questions. I'll be around for another little bit before closing the AMA.

Hi u/Chuymatt, it can be. Any therapy that helps heal childhood trauma will be helpful in this vein.

Hi u/devil_d0c this sounds like a very, very painful situation.

I try not to approach things with a "should" attitude. I think the question is: What's honoring of you? Perhaps you could do some parts work to find out the different needs inside of you.